The Seeker, the Search, the Mirror and the Crisis


"My work involves a critical overview of everything that is taking place around me, everything that people bring to me, and all traditions. My teaching work is like that of the Lankavatara Sutra, like that of Gautama. On one level it seems to be a repudiation. On another level it is a criticism or a reinterpretation, even a positive interpretation. On another level it offers an alternative course or Way. But this entire process, this cultural process, this Teaching process that I have engaged both with you who have come to me and relative to the traditions, is expressed on the basis of prior Realization".
The Tradition of Truth is the Tradition of the Adepts - Adi Da Samraj


"I am simply Communicating Freely to everyone, and to humankind as a whole. I am not a “cult leader” (so to speak), looking to increase the size of an institution and institutional power. I should not have any such imposition made on Me. Therefore, when I am heard to Speak in the world, people should understand that I am just Speaking Freely."
Avatar Adi Da Samraj, August 4, 2006

"I am here in order that seekers may understand their ways. Others are born to represent the experience or mastery of various forms within or without. They are heroes, saints, avatars and ordinary beings in any world. But I am not born. I do not come or go. I manifest neither more or less power. I am the Heart. My work is the communication of the Heart, which is the truth of all forms and the dissolution of mysteries.

I do not call men to my form, for I am not present as any form or power. There is no name or Light that is my form or the way to me, whether these be found within or without. I call men (and women) to understanding. And even if thousands surround the body through which you hear this, only those who understand have come to me. Therefore, understand, which is to comprehend the source, logic and effect of all your paths. Understand and thus become involved in the utter bliss that I am, even that which stands as the consciousness of your life."

Franklin Jones (Adi Da Samraj), unpublished notes 1971.


Edited and complied by Beezone from various talks and essays (1970-2008) by Adi Da Samraj (1939-2008)

The Seeker, the Search, the Mirror and the Crisis

Gangarama Temple Guardian

"My advice to you is not to undertake the spiritual path. It is too difficult, too long, and it is too demanding. What I would suggest, if you haven't already begun, is to go to the door, ask for your money back, and go home now." He said, "This is not a picnic. It is really going to ask everything of you and you should understand that from the beginning. So it is best not to begin. However," he said, "if you do begin, it is best to finish."

Jack Kornfield remembering Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche - Zig Zag Zen - p.55

"It (the spiritual path - sadhana) requires everything of you. Unfortunately for you, a huge amount of what it requires is all kinds of things that really you don't want anything to do with."

Adi Da Samraj - 2004

"You are asking for consolation, something to believe in, something to relieve you of the stresses of the failed first three stages of your life. You are defending your egoity. Even though you may be interested in Spiritual life, when you are confronted by the real discipline involved, you will inevitably resist."

Adi Da Samraj - 1994

Where is Everybody Going?
"If you have one more place to go, you will not endure this moment as the great bliss"
Adi Da Samraj 1970

Watch full talk

The first great crisis of human existence is the observation of the tentative minimal, and always temporary association between life and Happiness - and how the mortal and limited nature of this world makes the search1 for Happiness both a necessary and a futile enterprise.

From the point of view of the search, the seeker2 can get very philosophical and also very stupid, all at the same time. The seeker can begin to come up with all sorts of philosophies, can grab for all sorts of answers and attach himself to all kinds of historical myths, religions and new philosophies.

The seeker, the one looking for answers, is sensitive to the craziness of things but has not yet fully understood the culprit of the craziness. The experience of life becomes, over time, a complication, a depression, and communicates a fundamental sense of uneasiness. The seeker gets to know this only by being frustrated, by suffering, by living an ordinary manifest life and doing what he or she feels like doing, doing what everybody does, doing what is culturally given, doing what circumstances require, trying to make this all work out. By living a usual life the seeker will come to know the craziness of things.

The seeker may come up with "there IS a God" or "there is NO God", "believe in Jesus", "drink this tea", "go to this shaman", "recite this mantra", "do this yoga", "let's make a new philosophy based on the new understanding of our global time". There are all sorts of answers seekers are struggling to find.

In his new philosophy the seeker begins to rationalize his insights into the craziness of things and begins to think he has a message, something he must share. "Yes, we're all sort of crazy", " we're all wavering", " we're all missing the mark". "We're all sinners". "We're all just rocks and dust". The seeker begins to share his philosophy and in doing so refines his understanding to the point of actually believing it. The refinement of his search starts his transformation and he begins to take up the way. His discovery justifies his search, his method. The new way looks to him to be the exact opposite of the search or the exact opposite of his problem. He's found his solution.

The seeker begins to clean up his search, get on with it. He begins to get to back to zero and start over again, start fresh like new baked bread. He may begin to make himself lean and strong and sweet smelling. The seeker very often is a revolutionary. He makes dramatic changes in his life to match his new philosophy. His wears his new suit of clothes with pride.

What is happening?

From the point of view of the teaching of Adi Da this is what people are doing. Adi Da teaches we are all seeking looking for something, something that will ultimately make us happy, comfortable or just plain forget. Some seeking is a little more subtle but it's just a refinement of what he calls the search. The search (and the seeker) is a bit more jazzed more subtle, but it still has a basic flaw, a subtle error in it. The seeker in his enthusiasm does not see this basic error for he is enamored by his discovery and callousness.

When Adi Da first started to teach he taught The Way of Understanding. This is really Adi Da is his kernel, before his teachings developed. What Adi Da realized and was in the beginning moved to teach was from the point of view of Understanding.

The teaching of Understanding revealed that ordinary life nothing but the search for solutions to a basic problem, and no refinement or answer(s) is going to change this basic search. In fact an answer would only perpetuate the search. Understanding, as Adi Da taught, was not a matter of refining what's going on in the world and making it a little leaner. It was not about turning it towards some scientific or spiritual ideal that is going to clear up matter. Adi Da pointed out that any solution is based on a problem and any problem based solution paints the seeker into a corner where, when 'pushed' or 'pressured' becomes defense and ultimately hostile.

The seekers defensiveness creates tensions and polarities that are then intensified. Adi Da taught (and still does) that the seeker must understand that it is not just a matter of just changing directions in any revolutionary manner that is going to save the seeker. It's a matter of a radical, or at the root, turnabout in consciousness that will reveal the seekers true dilemma. As Adi Da so simply puts it "the world is seeking. Nothing more." and therefore "...when you have understood that seeking is all a function of dilemma, and when you no longer are voluntarily motivated by the physical, mental or spiritual problem, then you have already Understood.

In The Knee of Listening, Adi Da defines seeking as "suffering and separation as conscious creations." Conscious creations is the activity of the search, the seeking, the product of the seekers inherent dilemma. The seeker and the search inherently intertwined is always conscious and motivated, fueled in a dilemma.

This felt sense of dilemma or suffering is not happening TO the seeker. Suffering is what the seeker is creating. If the seeker were to examine his or her own search, his suffering, examine the adventure of his life, he would discover that his seeking, his separation, his isolation, is his own creation, moment to moment. He's doing it just as deliberately as any physical act.

Adi Da 101

The following if from Adi Da's teaching on The Knee of Listening - The Life of Understanding

Due to copyright restrictions Beezone is unable to provide the links -
See copyright letter to Beezone from Adidam.  

(edited and adapted by Beezone)

The search is then motivated by the seekers unconscious suffering and separation which are created by the perpetual activities of identification, differentiation and desire. Seeking manifests in the forms of suffering and separation, isolation and dis-ease. This is not only a disastrous message it is also a liberating one.

Identification is this whole drama of separate self-sense, in its subtlest forms is not just self-imagery. That self-imagery has more to do with the quality of differentiation or mind or thought. This self-sense prior to thought and imageries is an activity in consciousness and it shows itself as a fundamental contraction. This contraction takes the form of a sensation, a cramp of some sort in the psyche.


"This is the activity from moment to moment, of the ordinary man and the seeker is not doing anything else."


Out of the activity of contraction or identification is the activity of differentiation. Differentiation is the distinction, difference and the creation of an other. This is a spontaneous event, it is a preverbal, pre-mind event. It is an event in Consciousness. So out of this primal activity becomes the felt sense of other and wherever there is an other, there is fear.

This whole process of differentiation or thought. It is the consciousness of the sense of differences, either between two or more things. This over against this. Thought is always in the form of a distinction. So the separate self-sense or what we commonly call ego and now formed itself as differentiation or thought. The reflection is beginning to manifest itself.

The third aspect to this 'process' is desire, which is generated by these two (identification and differentiation). The activity of the separate one, in the midst of his endless activity of differentiation or thought is movement or motivated desire to motion. And this motion or movement is always directed (either consciously or unconsciously) in the form of desire. So, ordinary life from moment to moment is the separate self-sense involved in the qualities of thinking or differentiation. Moving, particularly motivated, living as desire, seeking something, looking, avoiding, needing.

This is the activity from moment to moment, of the ordinary man and the seeker is not doing anything else. This is the waking state of the ordinary man in this plane of existence. It isn't anything else. So all that is accomplished by the life of seeking, which is the only thing that is going on, is suffering and separation, limitation and distinction.

There are many, many qualities perceived and experienced, from hour to hour. That is why people continue to think that it's all leading somewhere different and they continue to thrive on the search. But the more sensitive you become, the more you become aware that there is only one form of cognition or awareness and that is this structure of limitation. And that is all that is felt, truly, from moment to moment.


"You have no games to play"


It's only when consciousness returns to this zero2 of the one thing known from moment to moment in the ordinary sense that this insight that I'm talking about arises that breaks the bondage. It's only when you've become so limited, when you have no options truly. When you realize that the one quality of knowledge and experience and existence from moment to moment is as far as I've described it, it's at that moment that you truly are confined. You have no games to play that you can depend on any longer because you know all games are essentially based on the same impulse, the same structure and realize ultimately the same vision, the same cognition. So when you are truly locked in to this one form of existence, which is ordinary suffering, the search. It's in that entrapment, that isolation of real re-cognition, that the whole process is undone.

That's why I continue to stress that there is a crisis in consciousness involved in spiritual life, because you must come to this zero of re-cognition in which you see the one thing congaed, the one state lived, in which you see the search as your very condition. It's only when you've returned to this condition of suffering without recourse, it's only when you have fallen into your own limitation, that the insight can arise as I have described it. So there must be a crisis. There's a purifying dis-ease involved in spiritual life.

This purifying effect that is generated in the company of Truth or Real Spiritual Life is seen at first as a crisis because of one's irresponsibility. This irresponsibility always includes a sense that something is happening to you. The usual man imagines everything is happening to him or her. Where as when the process is alive in you, the process of true sadhana, the sacrificial process, then it is no longer something happening to you. When one awakens one sees that there is always a choice of responsibility. The world is not just something happening. There is something that one can be perfectly responsibile for at any moment.


"It is only at that point can you truly begin
to understand what is going on"


It must be a perfect crisis in consciousness in which this one form of ordinary knowledge is seen perfectly and known to be your condition from moment to moment. Knowing that you have no way out of this in the ordinary way. That the search does not lead outside of it. At that point all of the hopeful forms of the search, even the hopeful forms of it, become unavailable to you. Not just the negative forms. It's not like a conversion experience where all of a sudden you are going to become good from now own. It is a moment of realization in which you know you have no options, no alternatives, either to be good or to be bad. Neither to exploit yourself nor to become spiritual. When you have no turning possible, when no direction means the Truth, and only when this crisis becomes your actual condition, when you truly are suffering, not when you are throwing your suffering away, not when you are forgetting it, but when you are truly realizing your suffering. And I mean this in a very literal way. You must realize your own suffering. You must have the profound vision and conscious realization of your own suffering. Your own ordinary condition. It is only at that point can you truly begin to understand what is going on here, with you, with yourself.

For more see: Sadhana


1. The search for Happiness is the basic human convention. It is an effort based on the problem of unhappiness. And it is a program that characterizes the total spectrum of human enterprise, from the lowest level of physical self-indulgence to the highest level of magical and technological invention, psychic ascent, and ascetical inversion. All of humanity is seeking Happiness and presuming that it is "natural" for existence to be devoted to such a search.

2. Zero - The condition that is our suffering is not a fixed, objective, or subjective "thing" that is the self or ego. Rather, the condition that is our suffering is the habitual action of self-possession. The action of recoil toward self is always a form of contraction, or withdrawal from the universal pattern of relations. That action ultimately leads to disintegration of experience, possession by illusions of mind, reduction of phenomena to Chaos, and, finally, reduction of the dynamic self to Zero.

I have engaged the conventional patterns of both Eastern and Western experience. I have explored the internal and the external dimensions of our human possibilities. And I have been Awakened from confinement to the problems, reactions, illusions, and limitations of our yet self-divided and unevolved humanity. I have Awakened from the separate motions of East and West, and this Awakening established me in the true Equanimity and Unity of the body-mind, so that I have become moved as a single sacrifice in Love.

The "I" that is each one of us is not merely a mysterious internal self. The self or "I" is indeed mysterious-since we do not ultimately know what it is - but it must be understood to be not other than the total, obvious, and dynamic body-mind. "I" is the body , or the total body-mind process.

The Western Way of Bodily Sacrifice

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The body of the Guru is not God. God is the body of the Guru. Relations with the Guru are God-realizing, but not when the are cultically conceived. The relationship to the Guru is always undoing the false principles with limitations.

So, in my play with you I am serving a process that will undo your identification with this body, this psyche, this mind, this memory, this person, this self-definition. In the midst of that undoing you will see me clearly, in stages you will know me differently. You must realize a relationship to me that is enjoyed under all conditions, not by identifing me with this body, but through your approach to me in this body, realizing me in Truth. Only then can you live with me under all circumstances, without images. Well, that requires a certain kind of maturity that develops over time, and it requires the upsetting of your conventional position, the complete upsetting of it. Naturally this involves confusion, self-doubt, and failure of this personality with which you identify. In general, it's a process tht takes place over time with a few unique moments that are difficult. It doesn't happen in one moment living with me.

An excerpt from, The Decision to Eat, 4/4/76, Bubba Free John(Adi Da Samraj)

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"I am simply pointing out that the search for Happiness is based upon a lack of seriousness (or real understanding) relative to actual unhappiness. Instead of seeking Happiness, we should understand unhappiness. Then, and only then, are we capable of Wisdom and the Way that I Teach."


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"In the ancient Greek myth, Narcissus is absorbed in an image—but he does not even notice that it is an image in a mirror. The key to understanding “Narcissus” is not that the “self”-image is an image of oneself. Rather, the key to understanding “Narcissus” is that the “self”-image is an image reflected in and by a mirror."

Aletheon: The Mirror and the Checkerboard

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"Your mind is your reflection, the image in the pond. You are the one who is looking at the image. You are the one who is deluded. But you are the one who is posturing. You are the one who is believing in illusion. Therefore, merely to talk about yourself is not sufficient. You must actually look at what you are doing. Narcissus can describe the image in the pond forever."

The Drama of the Total Body-Mind

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"One of the first things to notice then in the development of real self-understanding and the first thing to notice is that you are seeking and nothing more. That’s it. It doesn’t make any difference what you are doing or what particular this that or the other thing you are seeking to achieve or associate with, or enjoy, or whatever it may be, it’s all the same.

Everything is that, that search. It’s not only just so. It is painful. It is stressful. It is agonizing. It knaws at you constantly. And it’s not just one thing you are seeking. You are constantly seeking, sometimes seeking many things simultaneously. At any moment there may be something particular or other that you are particularly obsessed with, unioning with you see. Whatever it may be.

You examine your life and you make this discovery that it is seeking and nothing else. It is entirely that in every fraction and even coming to me can be a form of your seeking. The best way to come to me would be with the profound sense of the failure of your seeking."

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Understanding the separate self search


You must know that everything I am doing is a means to bring about this crisis. I desire this crisis in you.

I do not want it not to happen.

I do not want to console you.

I do not want you to be contented in your unconsciousness.

I want you to become sensitive to your actual state.

I want you to know very well what you are always up to.

I want you to become capable of observing yourself under all kinds of conditions.

I want you to notice the machine of your ordinary activity.

Soldiers on the March

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"The first great crisis of life occurs in all of us. But most of us simply go on from there to seek Happiness, or even to despair of It. The second great crisis of life occurs only in the case of those who can seriously accept and understand the Lesson of the first great crisis of life. Therefore, I Argue that Lesson, so that you may become serious, understand your unhappiness, and begin the Way of Happiness Itself. The second great crisis of life is this process of serious understanding of unhappiness and conversion to the Way of Happiness (rather than the futile search for Happiness). Such understanding is what I call "hearing" and such conversion is what I call "seeing." It is only when such hearing and seeing prevail that the practice of the Way can begin."

The Bodily Location of Happiness

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Breaks the bondage

"Normally we assume: I am having this experience. Every moment of life is informed by this affirmation. Moment to moment this awareness of being a separate identity is communicated to the whole of life. And life becomes an expansion out of the idea of this individuation, a process whereby the separate and absolute ego tries to predicate all reality to itself in order to regain the totality intuited ultimate state in which reality is recognized exactly beneath the mind. This is the source of life as dilemma and mortality, suffering and tragedy, dark humor and search. It is simply a matter of a failure to recognize the truth of our condition, our right relationship, the actual reality. In fact the Divine Lord, the conscious subject and source of all manifestation, is the one experiencer of everything, and what we now identify as our selves is simply our awareness of the Reality of the Divine.

The quality of life proceeds from the form of cognition we assume. It is only necessary to return again and again to the form of reality, which is the actual and conscious relationship to the Divine Lord, who is that alone of which we are conscious."

The Knee of Listening - Chapter 14

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The Beginning of the Way

Complied and edited by Beezone

The Teaching of The Way of Adidam is fulfilled by Grace, not by personal efforts. BUT the reception of Grace depends upon the responsible fulfillment of The Law, or sacrifice. The Law is a demand by The Great Power of the Heart. Until The Law, which proceeds from Divine Ignorance or Radical Understanding, is fufilled and The Heart comes to rest, there is only contraction, separation, avoidance of reationship and the search for fulfillment or release.

The Way of Adidam is not truly either exoteric or esoteric Path or Way. Rather, the Way or Path of Adidam involves Transcendental Awakening, or radical intuition, from the beginning. That intuition, or the Realization of Divine Ignorance or Radical Understanding, is Awakened through "hearing" or truly understanding the argument of the Teaching of Truth, and "seeing" or truly surrendering into the Company or Presence of the Spiritual Master or Reality Itself.

Once this hearing and seeing are true of the devotee, the Way begins. And the beginning of the Way involves the transcendence of self through application to exoteric disciplines of a religious, moral, and personal kind. But these very disciplines are engaged from the point of view of true understanding, or prior Awakening to the Disposition of Divine Ignorance and direct surrender into the Transcendental Current of Life.

Prior to Hearing and Seeing all preparatory and preliminary practices are for those beginning or 'approaching' the Way. The actual practice of The Way is founded in a radical insight into self and the avoidance of relationship, The Conviction of Narcissus. This 'radical insight or intuition' reveals the factuality of reactive self-confinement and fruitlessness of the search for salvation, release, or perfect fulfillment.

The Way must necessarily be preceeded by a period of preparation, testing and humanizing growth in relation to the seven states of life in the Way of Adidam or Adi Da, the Revealer, Realizer and Way Itself.

Also so see:

The Garbage and Goddess - The Guru will ruin your life


The Way of Adidam

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  Adi Da, Ramana Maharshi, Nityananda, Shridi Sai Baba, Upasani Baba,  Seshadri Swamigal , Meher Baba, Sivananda, Ramsuratkumar
"The perfect among the sages is identical with Me. There is absolutely no difference between us"
Tripura Rahasya, Chap XX, 128-133


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