Life of Understanding – Week 5 – Franklin Jones – Adi Da Samraj

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The Life of Understanding Series

A twelve week course
taught by Bubba Free John starting in January

Week 5


So let’s go over some of this
material on the Meditation of Understanding.

I describe here on page 165, I give
a kind of diagram of the process that occurred in every case
where I was involved in exploring some aspect of the problem
of existence through some method or other, approaching
consciousness through the problem of mind, whatever. I would
go through some adventure of some sort and the end result in
every case, of each particular form of the spiritual
adventure I went through, was what I called understanding. I
arrived at the same thing in every case.

As I went through a particular form
of the problem of existence, this led to concentration and
observation, then insight, then freedom, then recognition of
understanding as prior to the search.

A number of times I’ve spoken in the
Ashram, and I’ve talked about how

understanding is the fruit of

1. The first form of Satsang is
simply coming to the Man of Understanding, coming to the
Guru and listening to him, being attentive to him. And
that’s the first form of Satsang, these people on the
student course are essentially listening to the word of the
Guru, listening to the teaching. And depending on the
intensity of their interest, they are more or less
concentrated while listening in this way, and

2. as the process of listening or
their involvement with the teaching goes on they become more
interested by a natural process of attention, their
attention becomes more concentrated, more direct, more
attached to the teaching itself

3. and ultimately to the Guru

4. so that Satsang takes on a more
practical life form, a more intense form.

5. So the beginnings of the process
of understanding in every case is one of

a. attention,

b. listening,

c. concentration and this listening

d. hearing,

e. comprehension in various ways,
self observation.

So I mention here, this led to

1. concentration and observation,

2. so the acts of attention become
natural and this becomes self observation and

3. the self observation becomes
insight, all these things follow on one another.


So the next thing I mention here is

1. insight and where there is
insight into any form of dilemma, any form of the problem of
existence, wherever the insight itself is alive, in any
moment where this insight is alive, there is freedom from
the condition of the dilemma itself, freedom from the search
itself at that point,

2. and then what follows on this is
recognition of understanding as being prior to the search.
In other words this fundamental understanding is the end
phenomenon of this natural process of attention or Satsang.

This middle line here, the
recognition of understanding as primary and prior to the
search, this is perhaps the most basic statement because at
the various moments in my life and finally as an absolute
stable recognition, there was understanding and the
recognition of understanding as itself being prior to all
seeking, and as understanding itself being the fundamental
condition, fundamental knowledge.

So when understanding became
stabilized in the midst of this whole process, became true,
became real, then all the motivation through dilemma, the
whole process of seeking as the foundation for spiritual
life disappeared.

It disappeared in individual cases
in terms of particular approaches at various times, but
ultimately the whole affair disappeared.

The search in any form ceased to be
a principle by which I could be motivated. It wasn’t simply
that I got turned off to seeking in any way, but this
fundamental enjoyment, which is understanding, replaced it.

So it was after this long period of
adventure in my life and passing through all the levels of
the comprehension and transformation that was necessary,
that I became founded in understanding itself, and
understanding then became my radical path, my very

Franklin never synthesized the
activities of his seeking. He only realized the
fruitlessness of each search and of seeking in any form.

In other words in my own case there
was a radical comprehension of all approaches. There wasn’t,
“Oh yeah, this little thing here that I get from this yogi
is good and I add this to a little bhakti here, add this to
a little of that, and add this to a little of that, and
gradually build up a system to be followed by which one
approaches in motivated ways, release, liberation,
whatever.” No, there was radical comprehension at every
point of the process that I was involved in. So there was a
realization of the fruitlessness of every form of

“He abandoned the meditation of the
chakras and the entire yogic process for enquiry.” It wasn’t
that the yogic process or what we’ve named the yogic process
that the various primary centers, subtle centers, it wasn’t
that I decided that they were all unreal, untrue, false, or
to be discarded as having anything whatsoever to do with
conscious life. It’s just that the approach, the spiritual
approach itself ceased to be one of motivated involvement
with the path of the chakras, the path of the yogic
activities, instead of having any concern for these
processes in themselves and these centers in themselves,
this process of enquiry went on constantly. All the things
that ordinarily one would suppose would come about by
following yoga and concentrating on the chakras came about
spontaneously from that point. But the process that I was
consciously involved in was that of enquiry.

“He saw that the activity of
Narcissus underlay every kind of remedial activity.” Well
this was the basic criticism of every form of seeking,
remedial activity is activity that seeks to remedy
something, it’s the search, it’s the activity that is
generated in response to the dilemma, no matter what form it
takes, whether it’s a spiritual search, or spiritual
technique of some sort, or even techniques in relation to
physical life, where the reaction is to the dilemma or the
problem itself, the dis-ease, the symptom itself and the
path is one motivated attempt to be free of that dilemma,
problem, sensation, dis-ease, symptom. Wherever that is the
principle of one’s activity, the concept or adventure or
activity of Narcissus is always its principle. In other
words it is always a form of the avoidance or relationship,
contraction. The ultimate analysis then of all forms of
remedial activity, although they seek to be open and be
free, are in fact stimulating the process of contraction and
separation. That is their principle. So the principle of
life as well as of Truth, of spiritual life, is not one of
reaction to the prior dilemma, but of recognition,
understanding of the dilemma, it’s not one of remedy and
seeking to be free of symptoms, but of standing in the
position that’s already free of the dilemma and of the

“He saw that understanding is
motiveless,” well that’s an extension of what I was just
saying. Motivation is reaction. There’s no motive without
something against which it is pressing, from which it is
generated. The motive of seeking is a problem, a prior
dilemma, a prior dis-ease. But understanding is perfect
activity, unqualified activity, it is unmotivated, it is not
a reaction. It is not generated in response to a prior
dilemma. Understanding involves perfect penetration or
recognition of the dilemma itself. Everything else is
motivated by the avoidance of relationship again. That is
the quality of Narcissus.

So understanding then was simply a
matter of observing oneself in a relationship, action, and
life. And this, of course, is the beginning of Satsang. The
beginning of Satsang, the first form of Satsang is attention
to the Guru, listening to the Guru, and this listening
begins to become hearing or self-observation, quite
spontaneously, just like sitting in the presence of the
Guru, (begins) without your even attempting it, begins to
become a form of self-observation. And self-observation
necessarily begins, spontaneously begins, whenever the
condition of relationship is consciously assumed. The
avoidance of relationship is one in which you continually
remain unconscious, in which you do not observe your own
action. Whenever you are arbitrarily placed in a situation
in which relationship is your condition, in which you must
assume it, when you are face to face with someone, some
condition or other, it’s under those situations, even if
you’re not otherwise trying to know something about
yourself, but it’s in the condition of relationship itself,
consciously or arbitrarily assumed, that you naturally begin
to observe yourself. The condition of relationship always
reflects your own activity to you. So if a person is put in
a condition of relationship, self-observation is this
natural result, without his even trying to observe himself.
He sees himself, because he is turning from

So if he’s forced in the situation
of relationship, he has to see his own turning, because he’s
always trying not to be in relationship but he is always
being reminded of it, and this is the secret of the sadhana,
the practical sadhana of Satsang, because Satsang is the
condition of relationship by grace and seemingly arbitrarily
put upon you and required of you, and it has many forms, it
has the form of the teaching, the form of the relationship
to the Guru himself, the sitting with him, the sitting at
home in Satsang with him with a picture or whatever. In all
of these situations you tend to see yourself turning away,
because the thing that you’re always being reminded of is
the turning toward, the being in relationship. So the secret
of sadhana, the secret of understanding, is the condition of
Satsang. Without it there is no understanding because the
whole process of self-observation is lost, never comes about
because the turning is constant.

So understanding is a matter of
observing one’s self in relationship, in action and in life.
Satsang begins as this attention to the Guru and it becomes
self-observation in the various conditions of relationship.
This form of understanding, understanding itself becomes
most profound, it becomes perfect realization obviously, but
the principle of it in itself is not unusual. It says here,
“Understanding is not unusual, it is simple and used by
everyone every day.” The basic principle of understanding
that becomes so profound, so subtle, is actually a very
simply matter that everyone uses all the time. It’s simply
that they use it in the midst of a life of avoidance. But
the principle, the activity, this intelligence is peculiar
to all of our activities throughout the day.

We are always assuming, more or less
arbitrarily, and to various degrees, relational conditions,
because there isn’t anything else, there is only relational
conditions, interdependence, contact, that’s all there is at
the level of the manifest cosmos. So we’re always more or
less consciously placed in those situations and whenever we
assume them more or less consciously we have reflected to
ourselves, our own activity, we begin to observe ourselves,
and so the whole universe, the whole cosmos is a kind of
feedback mechanism, simply by virtue of the fact that it is
a relational condition always, because in every instant you
are being reflected to yourself, you are seeing your own
turning night and day, and so people are always seeing
things about themselves night and day. Why are you always
thinking, why are you always thinking about yourself, why
are you always touching yourself, noticing things about
yourself, why is this always occurring. This is the natural
feedback mechanism of the cosmos. You are in a relational
condition and this is the form of your turning always.
That’s why when there is understanding, thought,
nervousness, separate self sense, all of the ordinary things
we suffer, disappear when there is understanding. Why is
this so, because the avoidance of relationship has stopped.
And the condition of relationship is perfectly assumed, so
the reflection is no longer taking place, this seeing of
your own turning is no longer taking place.

In other words, the image in the
water, the face of Narcissus is no longer being seen.
Narcissus is meditating on his own image, his own reflection
in the midst of conditions of manifest existence. But when
Narcissus comprehends himself he no longer is fascinated, he
no longer sees only his own reflection. He is returned to
the ordinary or prior state. This is the perfection of
understanding, but understanding in itself is an ordinary
principle. It is the ordinary intelligence that’s always
spontaneously going on by virtue of the fact that we are in
a relational condition always. We are always in a relational
condition, and we are always turning. If we don’t assume the
relational condition, we don’t see that we are turning, so
the ordinary man is going to death, going mad only,
suffering only. But whenever he is fully reminded of his
relational state, his relational condition, he constantly
sees his turning, and this is the principle wherein men are
released, this is the principle of Satsang, this is the
principle of the Siddhas, this is the principle of the Truth
as it becomes active in the world.

So this simple matter of observing
yourself in relationship, action, and life gradually
replaces seeking and consciousness and activity become
simplified, free of prior dilemma. So the more there is of
understanding, or recognition under the conditions of
Satsang, under the conditions of relationship, the less
there is of this turning being always reflected, the less
there is of this self obsession, the reflection of
Narcissus, and the less there is of that, the more there is
simply relationship, the less there is of seeking, and the
mind or the states of consciousness and the states of
activity become harmonious, true.

So consciousness becomes less like
Mind and becomes more like the Heart, and activity becomes
more and more appropriate and becomes more and more a
conductor of Light, and more and more like the Light itself.
So when a man is true he is becoming more and more like the
Heart or very consciousness and more and more like the
Light. The more he is involved in this contraction, this
separative activity that is Narcissus, the more he is
becoming dim, unconscious, the more like mentality, separate
self sense, obsession, pain, contraction,

So “Because the principle itself was
this simple, he saw that man could easily be turned to self
observation.” Well man can obviously, very easily be turned
to self-observation. The principle (of) by which this work
is generated is very simple because the universe is already
built on this basis. The universe is already a relational
condition, and whenever a man is forced into the position
where he must feel himself in relationship, the more he has
reflected in his own conscious states, the observation of
his own ordinary activity, this avoidance, this
separativeness. So men could easily be turned to self
observation? By entering into relationship with them, by
communicating to them the condition of relationship.
Wherever this is done, men observe themselves. (The true)
The point is not to tell them to observe themselves, that’s
another form of the search. The way of the Siddhas is to put
men in the condition of Satsang and they will observe
themselves. So the Guru acts not by, “Yes, observe yourself,
observe yourself,” giving him all kinds of techniques for
observing themselves. No, he enters more and more into
relational states with them, he requires more and more, he
demands more and more of relational and appropriate
conditions in the one who comes to him. And the more he
demands, the more the guy observes of his own turning, his
own resistance, his own reluctance.

Those who have no capacity for the
pressures of relational life and what it reflects in them,
become very angry, very obsessed, and separate themselves
from the Man of Understanding very quickly. That’s why you
see people going through all these problems, and their whole
strategy from beginning to end, from the time they enter til
the time they leave the Ashram, is to try and justify their
leaving. But all they’ve done is bought the thing they came
with. They have resisted and gone back to zero, they have
taken on the form of Narcissus, and Narcissus always dies,
that’s what the story of Narcissus is about. Narcissus dies,
Narcissus drowns, Narcissus is killed by the Maidens in the
fields, or he always winds up getting done in. He’s a
contraction, he turns in on himself, he becomes

So men can easily be turned to
self-observation (and the true) and the way of doing that is
not to tell them to observe themselves, but simply to enter
into relationship with them. Whenever you enter into
relationship with someone and require relational activity in
them, the acknowledgment of relationship, and the living of
that as a condition in them, the more upset they tend to
become, the more resistive they begin to become. And this
always occurs in Satsang, this always will occur in our
work, we will always have difficulties with people because
of what Satsang is, because of what the principle of Truth
is. But the more a person is able to pass through the
process of Satsang, or self-observation, of understanding,
the quicker he becomes within, the more he is able to take
on the conditions of appropriate activity in life, and also
the more the internal process of conductivity will begin to
show itself in him and as these phenomena begin to
demonstrate themselves in a person, then we intensify the
form of Satsang, which is to increase the conditions that
are given to him, to increase the responsibilities that are
given to him, increase his contact.

So the next point in this is “the
process of observation can easily be maintained by proper
guidance or hearing.” Well again this is the first level of
the approach in the Ashram, it’s the one of hearing, of
listening to the teaching, of attention to the Guru. It’s
not one of absolute commitment to the Man of Understanding
as Guru, it’s not one of taking on fantastic
responsibilities in the Ashram, of fully participating in
all the things that are made available, no, all of that is
not laid on the individual at first. He must grow, adapt to
the condition of Satsang. The first form of it is simply his
being put in a position to listen, to be attentive to the
word of the Man of Understanding, to listen to the

As a person continues to observe,
fundamental insight emerges. Then the radical nature of
seeking, Narcissus, and the life of the avoidance of
relationship can be understood. Then understanding can be
applied to moment to moment experience. Understanding
replaces the confused activity of seeking. Then
understanding becomes enquiry in the form of understanding
itself which is “avoiding relationship?” Abiding in
relationship with the use of enquiry becomes the fundamental
activity of conscious life moment to moment. This is just
sort of naming the stages from the beginning of attention
and listening, to where insight begins to develop, to where
real intelligence begins to develop. And in the Ashram this
is represented by the guy becoming stable in his life in the
Ashram, able to carry on and adapt to the conditions of
appropriate action in life and in the Ashram, able to carry
on and adapt to the conditions of appropriate action in life
and in the Ashram, with basic ease, he’s taking on more
responsibilities, in the Ashram, the internal processes are
awakening in him, he’s basically stable, and the signs, the
life and emotional signs are there, of stability in him. All
these are signs of the condition of Satsang, which become
self-observation, having become insight, understanding, in
which now, as I said before, he is free of the form of
seeking, free of the very condition of dilemma, in a
relative sense, of course. When insight is developed in a
fundamental way in relation to many areas, he has listened
and seen and understood and had moments of insight awaken in
relation to many aspects of his life. He’s (he’s) usually
seen peculiar characteristic areas of his life that are the
forms of this avoidance of relationship. So when this
understanding, this recognition of the avoidance of
relationship has become very basic in him, most profound,
most stable in him, it’s at that point that the insight can
itself be brought to moment to moment experience in a
positive way, a direct way. So at this point the insight is
turned into consciousness itself and becomes the approach to
life in a positive way, hour to hour, particularly in the
times of meditation.

And the form of understanding which
is the recognition, the observation, the radical observation
of the avoidance of relationship, the form on enquiry, this
active intelligence becomes the enquiry into the process of
avoidance, “avoiding relationship?” then is the natural form
of enquiry. And then this approach, this intelligence of
which the verbal enquiry is simply an extension, this very
intelligence, this over whelming insight, this prior self
knowing that’s alive before the dilemma awakens in the man,
this activity, this intelligence then becomes the approach
to life moment to moment rather than the vague dilemma, the
suffering, the search, the motivation. On page 169 here it
says, there’s a summation, “But the Truth of real life is
simply what is when there is a removal of contradictions, no
dilemma, no search, it cannot be described nor is any name
appropriate for it, there is no motive to name it. It is not
an object nor a supreme and other subject. It is not
separate from the one who understands nor can he separate
himself from it. It is simply no problem, no search,
unqualified reality without implications. It is also the
form of reality, which is the most subtle structure of the
world and everything, even the form on consciousness. All of
this is obvious to one who understands and continually

So these are various ways of using
language to point to the fundamental enjoyment that is this
real understanding, this radical understanding, this perfect
intuition. It is that very enjoyment, that very reality that
is prior to the search, prior to dilemma, prior to the
ordinary strategy and motivation, prior to the reaction to
relationship, prior to self-observation even. And so that
ultimately this understanding becomes a perfect intuition,
of even the subtle structure of the world and everything,
the very form of consciousness. And that form is Amrita
Nadi, and Amrita Nadi is the subtlest structure of our life
through which we intuit the ultimate reality, the very
nature, the God Form. All of this is obvious to one who
understands and continually enquires. In other words, the
revelation of that Truth, or the ultimate form, is not a
matter of seeking for it, or conforming by way of practice
to some internal insight. Understanding is that process in
which all obstructions are obviated, undone spontaneously,
and the ultimate form stands out obvious to such a

Now we begin that section in which
the process of meditation is described. “The usual
meditation is only a consolation, and does not reverse
ordinary consciousness.” In other words, the usual
meditation is the motivated meditation method which is just
a way of distracting consciousness, regardless of what you
meditate on, what you’re motivated to meditate on. The only
thing you can be motivated to meditate on is some form of an
object, some place, something to concentrate upon, and it
doesn’t make any difference what that is, it could be
anything, and there are (all) vast numbers of traditional
objects on which meditation is recommended. Some a little
more sublime than others. But the essential event is always
the same, it’s concentration on an object or point. And you
can do this by concentration on a so-called name of God or a
place in the body or on some subtle manifestation in the
body, like internal sounds, internal vital lights, on a
image within the mind or externally. All kinds of things can
be put up and toward which you can be motivated to
concentrate for the sake of the traditional goals of
concentration. But these forms of traditional meditation,
which seek to understand, which seek realization or
liberation, do not begin already with understanding, they do
not begin with an awakening. They begin with ignorance, and
they are methods to be applied in ignorance for the sake of
becoming conscious. But real meditation is already conscious
in some fundamental way.

The principle of understanding is
active already in real meditation, whereas in the usual
meditation the principle of ignorance is active. So
regardless of the sublimity of the object you may be
concentration on or what Divine source you got the
meditation technique from, it is activated in ignorance in
the ordinary man. And so it only consoles him, only
distracts him, it only fascinates him to the degree he is
capable of being fascinated by something as difficult as
concentration. So it does not reverse the ordinary
consciousness. It does nothing to the fundamental condition
with which it begins. It only modifies it, it changes state.
So control over identification, differentiation, and desire
is lost outside of meditation. In other words you may
concentrate arbitrarily through some technique or other and
as a result feel the mind quieting, feel the body quieting,
feel somewhat sublime, feel somewhat happier. But this does
not produce any radical or even revolutionary transformation
of the principle of conscious life. So when you step out of
the meditative state or out of the conditions that are like
meditation, our of your monastery, out of your rules, your
controls or whatever; as soon as you step outside of them,
the processes of identification, differentiation and desire
come one you without any control whatsoever, in other words
separate self sense, thought and the movement of desire are
alive in the ordinary man, even the ordinary meditator,
because what he is doing does not affect the principle in
which the separate self sense and thought and desire are
generated. So the typical story of the guy who meditates in
the wilderness for years and has managed to be able to get
into various kinds of trance-Samadhi and he thinks he’s
enlightened, so he goes into town to preach the Truth and
everything is in town of course, women and fantastic food
and movies and books, money and people who want to send him
to America to be their Guru and all of this. And so he loses
his state, because all he’s done through his traditional
method is distracted himself. So he has no fundamental
control over the things that he is suffering, because he’s
not living prior to them, he has not penetrated them by his

So radical understanding is the only
recourse, knowing that every motive and action is made of
avoidance. When you begin to see that all of your
motivation, all of your remedial activity is actually the
adventure of Narcissus, is this contraction, this avoidance
of relationship, then it becomes clearer and clearer to you
that you have no resort apart from perfect understanding.
You have no resort apart from the condition, the very
condition of Satsang. Radical knowledge, which is another
word for radical understanding, is real bliss, dependent on
nothing. In other words the bliss or Ananda is one of the
words used to describe the ultimate goal or the ultimate
realization pursued by the traditional means. But real
bliss, the true realization, is not dependent on the
artifices of the search. The seeker motivated in his dilemma
can turn on various states like you can turn on with a drug,
but they are lost as soon as the condition on which they
depend is taken away. So as soon as you take away the
spiritual practices, the spiritual experiences disappear,
the traditional ones. And just so, the forms of created
bliss, the artifices of bliss, the trances and whatever, are
dependent on certain deliberate activities, certain
conditions that must be maintained in order for them to
manifest. Only this radical comprehension, perfect
understanding is real bliss, and it is not dependent on
anything so it is perfectly lasting.

So the bliss of the Man of
Understanding is not contaminated, not changed, not lost,
once it is begun, it is endless, under all conditions, and
he is also free to live under all conditions. He can seem
ordinary, he can live essentially in the ordinary way, I
don’t mean he can be any kind of a libertine or whatever
without effect on himself, but by ordinary I mean he can
participate in the full range of manifest life. Whereas a
seeker must fasten himself to certain particular limited
exclusive conditions in order to hold onto (his) states that
he desires.

So, “Understanding arises when there
are true hearing and self-observation in relationship.” I
have spoken of this a number of times. Whenever there is
relationship, wherever there is Satsang, there is
self-observation. “Therefore, observe yourself when you seek
or suffer. Observe the activity of identification,
differentiation, and desire and the patters of your
existence. When you see the patterns of Narcissus: seeking,
suffering, dilemma, identification, differentiation, desire,
etc. understanding is emerging. When you see what already
is, you have finally understood.” In other words, again,
there is a process of observation generated whenever there
is attention to the condition of relationship, attention, or
listening to the Guru in Satsang. And if this goes on, this
natural process of observation begins to observe in detail
all of the dualities of conscious existence, all of the
dramas in life, all of the ordinary conditions. And when
this begins, understanding is truly coming alive. But the
ultimate event is when you see or when you perfectly intuit
what already is prior to the dilemma, prior to any condition
that arises.

So, again, when understanding
becomes the foundation of your life all life is approached
by enquiry. Most people have tried it one way or another and
have had this and that problem about it, and have stopped
using at times. A number of people have replaced verbal
enquiry with something that is peculiarly non-verbal, but in
some way corresponds to what I mean by understanding, and
this is good and true. In fact, enquiry is transcended by
subtler processes of intelligence and intuition. But still,
the fundamental activity of verbal enquiry is significant,
just as self-observation is significant. And it must become
stable and available to you.

So continue to study this work.
Return always to this whole description of meditation in The
Knee of Listening and in other places where I talk of it.
And allow this whole process beginning with listening and
self-observation and insight and full insight that finally
becomes enquiry in a very practical, spontaneous, living,
intelligent form. Allow that whole process to take place and
(you) become very firm and stable in you, so that this
verbal enquiry does become a tool of yours, not that you use
in a kind of repetitive, mindless way, the way people want
to use a mantra, but which you use randomly, which is
available to you. Only when verbal enquiry is stably
available to you, in the midst of this whole process I have
described, do you have the genuine activity of recognition
or non-verbal enquiry and of radical intuition as stable
possibilities in you. So throughout the life of
understanding, as long as there is a mind and life at all,
verbal enquiry is randomly appropriate. Not repetitively,
but occasionally. So that when you sit for meditation it
should arise in you appropriately, at least a few times
while you sit there.

So continually return to this study
and observe your own activity as is suggested here, and also
be mindful of the process of enquiry and how it’s
developing. I’m not saying, “Start enquiring.” I’m saying,
“Study this whole process,” and (see) be mindful of how the
whole process sits in you at any time. And if this process
does begin to develop in significant ways in you, and the
process of enquiry begins to develop in you and I would like
to see that reflected in the diary you keep too, so I know
something about how this is developing.

And the last three points in this
lesson, “Use understanding in any experience instead of
remedial action to handle the problem of life. Make
understanding and enquiry the radical approach to life until
they become realized permanently as your form. Enjoy and
create according to the wisdom of your own form.” This “your
own form” that I’m talking about here is God. I’m not
talking about some creativity, I’m talking about the perfect
realization in which you are generating the Divine play. At
that point you are perfectly free. At that point your life
has become truly random, truly formless, truly lost and
truly found at the same time. Then without thinking, without
motivation in the ordinary sense only the Divine activity
takes place through you here.