THE DREADED GOM-BOO
Part III: Spiritual Transmission
CHAPTER 20
The Fire-Baptism
by Denise Marrero
I spent a year-from February 1982 until February
1983-serving with my husband Frank at the Communions
Renunciate Sanctuary, Tumomama. During the last six months
of our stay, Master Da resided there with the Hermitage
Renunciate Order. Because those who served the Sanctuary
were frequently invited to spend time in Master Das Company,
those six months changed my life and practice. I write this
story as a testimony to the Power and Compassion of the
Adept.
There was so much wonder during this time, when Master Da
once again gathered regularly with devotees to consider the
entire Teaching, once again to offer his Compassion and
Wisdom to beginners such as me. So many areas of my life and
practice were touched by Master Das Radiant Grace.
I learned that renunciation is not a forced ascetic
denial or nunlike, detached relationship to life. I learned
that renunciation is to give up un-Happiness, to renounce
the ego. The beginnings of this disposition were gracefully
Awakened in me.
I began to feel the Spiritual Masters Spirit-Blessing. He
told us recently that “this Transmission Intoxicates you,
but you cannot use my Spirit-Blessing, you will shut It
down, if you have not understood yourself.” To be sure, I
had been Intoxicated by the Spirit-Current before,
particularly on one occasion while sitting in Darshan with
Master Da at The Mountain of Attention. But I had always
shut It down. Now, I began to understand myself. Thus, I
became available to receive and hold on to the Masters
Spirit-Blessing.
After the Spiritual Masters Awakening Power granted me
the Grace to really receive the Spirit-Current, I felt it
begin to move me in life and meditation.
When I first came to Tumomama, my meditation was
essentially a struggle. Remembrance and Enquiry were methods
I used to battle with the presumed enemy of the mind. My
meditation has changed from a struggle with subjectivity to
the Happiness of intimacy with the Divine Spirit. I began to
see the self-contraction, just as Master Da describes it,
and go beyond it. Now, when I see this contraction in the
forms of thought, reactive emotion, and physical states, I
am able to rest my attention with the Divine.
During the time we spent at Tumomama, I made a transition
to the next level of practice. As a result, my cultural
responsibilities were greatly broadened. I began to serve
other devotees relative to their practice, a responsibility
I had never dreamed of presuming before!
What seems most important to me is that the Spiritual
Master Taught me about Happiness. In the Masters Company I
learned about love of the Divine, and that love is
Happiness.
That Happiness was directly and tangibly communicated to
me by Master Da at one of the early gatherings during this
period. That evening, the Master lovingly gave me a big hug.
I felt mindless and Happy, simply Happy and open to his
Benediction. I dont even know the words to use to describe
the sense of love for the Master that I felt on that
occasion. I had never felt love like that before. I felt
love not only for the Master, but for the Divine and, so,
love for all beings. And it was Happiness. I was and am so
grateful. For three days, great waves of bliss and love
would wash over me throughout the day. I did not feel myself
to be separate from the Spiritual Master. The Beloved was
everywhere apparent. I could only think of the Master,
praise him, and consider the Mystery of His Love.
Time after time, everyone who came into his Company
during this period received the Great Transmission of this
Happiness and Spirit-Baptism. I was immersed and washed in
It, floated in It, and blown away by It. The most dramatic
occasion of this Transmission occurred one evening in
December.
That night we admired the holiday tree that had recently
been decorated by the children with hundreds of beautiful
ornaments and silver icicles. As we praised the tree, the
Master looked at it thoughtfully for a moment and then said
there were far too many icicles on the tree. He asked me and
several others to remove at least half of them.
As we went into the next room to take care of the tree, I
heard Master Da say that I was skinny and probably always
would be, but that I had a good spine and was therefore able
to receive and conduct his Spiritual Transmission. The
Masters comment was a sign of the events to come later in
the evening.
Since adolescence I have had scoliosis, or curvature of
the spine. My lower back has quite an exaggerated curve-I
nearly fainted the first time I saw an X-ray of it. Over the
years it has given me a great deal of trouble, causing pain
and discomfort when I sit, although these symptoms have
diminished during the last year or so. I had been to
chiropractors and other specialists, hoping to be literally
straightened out. I had always felt that this exaggerated
curve was a result of my extremely contracted and
non-relational tendencies as a child and teenager, and it
had always seemed somehow logical to me that my spine would
be curved.
Later in the evening in a spontaneous and wonderful
gesture, the Spiritual Master reached out and touched my
back in several places. He twisted and turned my body as if
to loosen and check its mobility. Master Das touch was light
and very brief, but my skin felt incredibly hot as if I had
been touched by a soldering iron. A flash of extreme heat
and brightness shot up my spine. I was startled by the
intensity of the heat and quickly turned my head to see what
had happened. As I turned, I saw the Masters hand move away
from my back. There was nothing in his hand! I knew that
lightning had come from his fingertips!
The feeling of heat was accompanied by a great emotional
release of bliss and gratitude for his Compassion. I felt
released from all concern and anxiety about the “problem” of
my back, which I had always feared would be an impediment to
spiritual practice and meditation.
Many hours later, the area of my back where Master Da had
touched me was still hot and burning. I looked in a mirror
to see if there was anything on the skin, and there were
three large marks, like burns, bright red and about the size
of a quarter, just at the place of the deepest curvature of
my lower back, as far apart as three fingers touch. I knew
the Masters Great Transmission had scorched the flesh on my
back! Everyone who saw the marks was astonished. By the next
day they had scabbed over and were very sore.
The “Forsythe Committee,” which authenticates such events
in our Communion, was called to investigate. They took
measurements and photographs and asked me many questions.
Could it have been anything else? Had I scraped myself? Was
it caused by anything else? Were there any hot objects in
the room at the time? When did I first see the red spots?
And so on. A doctor examined me and verified that the red
spots were burns. The event was declared a miracle.
The burns healed amazingly quickly. Within a few days
they were only white spots on the skin. It was a spiritual
healing for which I was very grateful. I felt released of
any concern that I need to be healed physically in order to
mature in this practice!
In a talk to devotees, titled “The Fire Must Have Its
Way,” Master Da speaks of the spiritual process as a process
in which the devotee is literally burned up! His or her
karmas are burned away. After the Fiery Baptism I received
from Master Da that night in December, I felt that Fire in
many ways. At times I would literally feel my body was
burning. I would become flushed and feel feverish. On a
couple of occasions my body heat was so intense that I had
to lie down to be comfortable. I also began to burn with a
great desire to practice, to live this Way as intensely as I
could.
Master Da told us on the night of his birthday that this
Spirit-Baptism purifies the being. Once this current is
really contacted, then the mind, the body, the emotion, the
psyche, everything will begin to be purified.
Shortly after the miraculous moment of Fire-Baptism, I
entered into a period of intense purification just as Master
Da had said. Things began to occur in my life that were
difficult. At first I was concerned, but then I realized
that these difficulties were part of the purification I had
been promised. This was the Fire! The Master was simply
asking me to surrender more! I burned with the intensity of
emotion I felt, but also with a feverish desire to
practice.
After one year our period of service at Tumomama was
completed. It was time for my husband and me to return to
the larger gathering of devotees at The Mountain of
Attention. What it meant for both of us was that we would no
longer be seeing the Spiritual Master, nor the devotees with
whom we had become so intimate.
A part of me wanted to collapse into sorrow and
un-Happiness. But I knew I had to be strong. I had to
practice. The most important thing I had received from the
Master was a certainty that we must be Happy, that we create
our own un-Happiness, and that that un-Happiness is
Narcissus. I struggled with my tendency to allow myself to
be overwhelmed by my un-Happiness.
On the morning when Frank and I left Tumomama, all of our
friends came to kiss us good-bye. As one of my dear friends
gave me a hug, I told her that I never thought I could be
Happy on an occasion like this, but that I was Happy. It was
true! I was Happy! I was filled with a great desire to serve
our Beloved Master and to serve this Great Way.
I felt so grateful to the Master for what he had Taught
me and Awakened in me, and for this moment of the ecstasy of
self-transcendence. I knew that both of these were his Gift
to me.
I am so very grateful to our Beloved Master for this
practice, for the abundant Gifts he gives to all devotees. I
am eternally grateful for his Fiery Presence, transforming
Regard, and Perfect Persistence. I bow at his feet in
love.
The Dreaded Gom Boo – Table
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