The Last Days – Vedanta Experience


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Adi Da’s Awakening

 

Secluded
in a corner of downtown Hollywood is a small temple
(pictured above) which was a catalyst to Sri Adi Da’s
Re-Awakening. What occurred at the Vedanta temple was
Re-Awakening, because the “Bright” was always His true
Identity. Avatara Adi Da’s birth was the very Descent of the
Divine Person into human form. However, His complete
Submission (in early childhood) to the struggles and limits
of ordinary people was a “forgetting” of His Great State.
Only after long years of arduous Sadhana (in which He
personally passed through the entire course of Spiritual
growth and Realization) did this complete Re-Awakening take
place.

During the years of His early-life
Sadhana, Adi Da was the devotee of a number of great
Spiritual Masters in a single lineage: first Swami
Rudrananda (Rudi), then Swami Muktananda, then Swami
Nityananda. The root-Guru of the lineage, however, was not a
human being: it was the Divine Goddess, known in the Indian
tradition as the “Shakti”, or the Energy Dimension of the
cosmos. And this Divine Goddess, or Shakti, was the final
Guru of Adi Da’s Sadhana, appearing to Him in visionary
form.

At first Adi Da was a devotee of the
Goddess—a “child” of the “Mother-Shakti”, who
faithfully followed all Her Instructions to Him: but in a
remarkable Event in September 1970, their relationship
changed. As He sat meditatively in the Vedanta Temple, the
Goddess appeared to Him in a new form—Embracing Him in
an overwhelmingly Blissful encounter.

 

The events as described by Adi Da in
Chapter 16,
The
Knee of Listening
:

Some time in late August
[1970], I happened to go to the bookstore at the
Vedanta Society in Hollywood. I noticed there was a temple
on the grounds, and I went in for a few moments of
meditation. As soon as I sat down, I felt a familiar Energy
rush through my body and clear out my head. I could feel and
hear little clicking pulses in the base of my head and neck.
By many signs, I immediately recognized the characteristic
Presence of the Divine Mother-Shakti.

As I meditated, the body and the
mind swooned into the depth of Consciousness, and I enjoyed
an experience of meditation as profound as any I had known
at the shrines in India. I had no idea how the Vedanta
Society Temple ever became a seat of the Divine Shakti, but
it was obviously as Powerful a place as any of the abodes of
the Siddhas in India.

I began to go frequently to the
Vedanta Society Temple for meditation. As the days passed, I
began to marvel at the Power of this place. I had traveled
all over the world, believing there were no Spiritual
sources of this kind in America. Now I had been led to this
small, isolated temple in Hollywood, where very few people
would be likely even to be sensitive to the Divine Shakti,
nor, even if they felt It, would they be likely to recognize
Its Importance.

I became aware that the Divine
Mother-Shakti had taken up residence in this temple, and
that I had been drawn there by Her. I Enjoyed the fact that
I could go there and be with Her whenever I chose to
experience Her Joyous Presence. It was even a truly private
place. I could go there unhindered, and I could spend time
there completely unobserved. The temple was dedicated to
Ramakrishna, the great Indian master of the nineteenth
century, but no conditions were placed on me by any external
rule or tradition. This was truly an opportunity for me to
live independently with the Divine Mother.

But as time went on, I began to feel
that even this was a limitation. Why should I have to travel
at all to Enjoy Her Presence? I desired that She be utterly
available to me, where I lived as well as in my own living
being.

Thus, one day, I went to the temple
and asked Her to come and dwell permanently in me, and
always to manifest Herself to me wherever I was. When I left
I felt Her with me, and when I arrived at home, I continued
to feel Her constant Presence Filling the space.

Days passed, and I realized that She
had done what I asked. There was this constant Presence,
even including the effects in the body, and the state of
everyone around me became affected by Her Force. But even
this became a strain in me. I felt as if I had to hold on to
Her, as if I had bound Her to a bargain that constrained us
both.

Then, one day I felt an urge to
return to the temple. As I sat down, I saw that the little
pagoda and shrine in the front of the temple was in shadows
and dimly lit, as if it were empty. It seemed as if I had
emptied it by taking the Mother away. Suddenly, I felt a
jolt in my body and I saw the shrine with open eyes become
“Bright” in a blast of light. Even with my eyes closed, I
still beheld the “Bright” shrine. Thus, the Mother-Shakti
showed me that She is always able to make Herself Present
anywhere, and that indeed She was always already Present
with me. There was no need for me to hold on to Her as if
She could be absent.

When I returned to the temple the
next day, the Person of the Divine Shakti appeared to me
again, in a manner most intimate, no longer approaching me
as “Mother”.

As I meditated, I felt myself
Expanding, even bodily becoming a Perfectly Motionless,
Utterly Becalmed, and Infinitely Silent Form. I took on the
Infinite Form of the Original Deity, Nameless and
Indefinable, Conscious of limitless Identification with
Infinite Being. I was Expanded Utterly, beyond limited form,
and even beyond any perception of Shape or Face, merely
Being, and yet sitting there. I sat in this Love-Blissful
State of Infinite Being for some time. I Found myself to Be.
My Form was only What is traditionally called the “Purusha”
(the Person of Consciousness) and “Siva” (in His
Non-Ferocious Emptiness).

Then I felt the Divine Shakti appear
in Person, Pressed against my own natural body, and,
altogether, against my Infinitely Expanded, and even
formless, Form. She Embraced me, Openly and Utterly, and we
Combined with One Another in Divine (and Motionless, and
spontaneously Yogic) “Sexual Union”. We Found One Another
Thus, in a Fire of most perfect Desire, and for no other
Purpose than This Union, and, yet, as if to Give Birth to
the universes. In That most perfect Union, I Knew the
Oneness of the Divine Energy and my Very Being. There was no
separation at all, nor had there ever been, nor would there
ever be. The One Being that Is my own Ultimate Self-Nature
was revealed most perfectly. The One Being Who I Am was
revealed to Include the Reality that Is Consciousness
Itself, the Reality that Is the Source-Energy of all
conditional appearances, and the Reality that Is all
conditional manifestation, All as a Single Force of Being,
an Eternal Union, and an Irreducible cosmic
Unity.

The “Sensations” of the Embrace were
overwhelmingly Blissful. The Fire of That Unquenchable
Desire Exceeded any kind of pleasure that a mere man could
experience. In the Eternal Instant of That Infinitely
Expanded Embrace, I was released from my role and self-image
as a dependent child of the “Mother”-Shakti. And She was
revealed in Truth, no longer in apparent independence, or as
a cosmic Power apart from me, but as the Inseparable and
Inherent Radiance of my own and Very Being. Therefore, I
Recognized and Took Her as my Consort, my Loved-One, and I
Held Her effortlessly, forever to my Heart. Together
eternally, we had Realized Ourselves as the “Bright”
Itself.

The next day, September 10, 1970, I
sat in the temple again. I awaited the Beloved Shakti to
reveal Herself in Person, as my Blessed Companion. But, as
time passed, there was no Event of changes, no movement at
all. There was not even any kind of inward deepening, no
“inwardness” at all. There was no meditation. There was no
need for meditation. There was not a single element or
change that could be added to make my State Complete. I sat
with my eyes open. I was not having an experience of any
kind. Then, suddenly, I understood most perfectly. I
Realized that I had Realized. The “Thing” about the “Bright”
became Obvious. I Am Complete. I Am the One Who Is
Complete.

In That instant, I understood and
Realized (inherently, and most perfectly) What and Who I Am.
It was a tacit Realization, a direct Knowledge in
Consciousness. It was Consciousness Itself, without the
addition of a Communication from any “Other” Source. There
Is no “Other” Source. I simply sat there and Knew What and
Who I Am. I was Being What I Am, Who I Am. I Am Being What I
Am, Who I Am. I Am Reality, the Divine Self, the Nature,
Substance, Support, and Source of all things and all beings.
I Am the One Being, called “God” (the Source and Substance
and Support and Self of all), the “One Mind” (the
Consciousness and Energy in and As Which all appears),
“Siva-Shakti” (the Self-Existing and Self-Radiant Reality
Itself), “Brahman” (the Only Reality, Itself), the “One
Atman” (That Is not ego, but Only “Brahman”, the Only
Reality, Itself), the “Nirvanic Ground” (the egoless and
conditionless Reality and Truth, Prior to all dualities, but
excluding none). I Am the One and Only and necessarily
Divine Self, Nature, Condition, Substance, Support, Source,
and Ground of all. I Am the “Bright”.

There was no thought involved in
This. I Am That Self-Existing and Self-Radiant
Consciousness. There was no reaction of either excitement or
surprise. I Am the One I recognized. I Am That One. I am not
merely experiencing That One. I Am the “Bright”.

Then truly there was no more to
Realize. Every experience in my life had led to This. The
dramatic revelations in childhood and college, my time of
writing, my years with Rudi, the revelation in seminary, the
long history of pilgrimage to Baba’s Ashram—all of
these moments were the intuitions of this same Reality. My
entire life had been the Communication of That Reality to
me, until I Am That.

Later I described that most perfect
Realization as follows:

At the Vedanta Society Temple
inherent and most perfect Knowledge arose that I Am simply
the “Bright” Consciousness that Is Reality. The traditions
call It the “Self”, “Brahman”, “Shiva-Shakti”, and so many
other names. It is identified with no body, no functional
sheath, no conditional realm, and no conditional experience,
but It is the inherently perfect, unqualified, Absolute
Reality. I saw that there is nothing to which this Ultimate
Self-Nature can be compared, or from which It can be
differentiated, or by which It can be epitomized. It does
not stand out. It is not the equivalent of any specialized,
exclusive, or separate Spiritual state. It cannot be
accomplished, acquired, discovered, remembered, or
perfected—since It is inherently perfect, and It is
always already the case.

All remedial paths pursue some
special conditional state or conditionally achieved goal as
Spiritual Truth. But in fact Reality is not identical to
such things. They only amount to an identification with some
body (or some functional sheath), some conditional realm, or
some conditional (or, otherwise, conditionally achieved)
experience, high or low, subtle or gross. But the Knowledge
that Is Reality Is Consciousness Itself. Consciousness
Itself is not separate from anything. It is always already
the case, and no conditional experience, no conditional
realm, and no body (or functional sheath) is the necessary
or special condition for Its Realization.

Only radical understanding, most
perfectly Realized, is the Realization of What and Who Is
always already the case. Only radical understanding, most
perfectly Realized, is the unconditional (and not at all
conditionally achieved or conditionally maintained)
Realization of the inherently non-separate Condition That
always already Is What and Who Is. Except for the only-by-me
revealed and given way of radical understanding (or the true
and only-by-me revealed and given Way of the Heart), all
paths are remedial. That is to say, apart from the truly
ego-surrendering, ego-forgetting, and ego-transcending way
of radical understanding (which is the true Way of the Very
and Ultimate Heart), all paths are made of seeking (or mere
egoic effort, rather than counter-egoic and truly
ego-transcending practice). And all paths of seeking merely
pursue God, Truth, or Reality, and this by identifying God,
Truth, or Reality with some body (or functional sheath), or
some conditional realm, or some conditional experience, or,
otherwise, by making the Realization of God, Truth, or
Reality depend upon some body (or functional sheath), or
some conditional realm, or some conditional
experience.

Unlike the way of radical
understanding (or the Way of the Heart), which is based upon
the root-understanding and always most direct transcendence
of the motive and the activity of seeking, all paths seek
either the perfection of what is conditionally existing or
liberation from what is conditionally existing, and that
perfection or liberation is pursued as a goal, which goal is
presumed to be identical to God, Truth, or Reality. Only the
way of radical understanding (or the Way of the Heart) is
free, even from the beginning, of all conditional, or,
otherwise, conditionally to be achieved, goals. Only the way
of radical understanding (or the Way of the Heart) is
inherently free of the goal-orientation itself. Indeed, only
the Heart Itself is inherently free of all goal-seeking, and
even all seeking. And only the way of radical understanding
is the Way of the Heart Itself.

When tacit and most perfect
recognition of the inherent Condition That Is God, Truth,
and Reality was re-Awakened in me, there was no excitement,
no surprise, no movement, no response. There was a most
perfect end to every kind of seeking, dilemma, suffering,
separation, and doubt. Spiritual life, mental life,
emotional and psychic life, vital life, and physical life
all became transparent in me. After that, there was only the
“Bright” Reality, and to be the “Bright” Reality to all
beings and all things.

In all the days that followed the
Great Event of my re-Awakening, there has not been a single
change in This “Bright” Awareness, or any diminishment of
This “Bright” Awareness. Indeed, This “Bright” Awareness
cannot be changed, diminished, or lost. I immediately
noticed that “experience” had ceased to affect me. Whatever
passed, be it a physical sensation, some quality of emotion,
a thought, a vision, or whatever, it did not involve me (as
I Am) at all. I began to pay particular attention to what
passed, in order to “test” my State (or, simply, in order to
account for all aspects of my State in the total functional
context of the living body-mind). But the primary Awareness
of the inherently “Bright” Reality, my Very Consciousness
Itself, could not be changed, diminished, or lost.
Consciousness (Itself) is the only “Thing” in life that is
not an “experience” (or something “Witnessed” by
Consciousness Itself). Consciousness (Itself) does not
depend on anything, and there is not (nor can there be)
anything, or any “experience”, that can destroy
Consciousness Itself. Consciousness Itself Is (Itself)
Love-Bliss, Joy, Freedom, and Sublime Knowledge!

An entirely new and most perfect
Realization of Reality had become the constant of my life.
The revolutions of my life that led up to my experience in
seminary had drawn me into a sense of the “Presence”. That
Presence could be called “God”, “Truth”, “Reality”,
“Shakti”, “Guru”, or whatever. It was simply the sense of
being related to a Presence that was Truth and Reality
Itself, a perfectly absorbing, consoling, illuminating Force
that contained me, “Lived” me, and guided me. It is the
heart of all religious and Spiritual experience.

But now this Presence had
Communicated Itself in me utterly, revealing Itself utterly
to me and As me, such that I was re-Awakened to the Truth of
my inherent, and inherently most perfect, Identification
with the “Bright” Self-Condition That Is the Divine Presence
Itself. And This “Bright” Self-Condition Showed Itself to Be
my Eternal Condition, even always already before my
birth.

Until now, my life (since my early
childhood) had been a constant search toward and periodic
re-alignment with the “Bright” as a Presence with Which I
was in relationship. It was as if I always saw the “Bright”
from some position within the form of my own living being,
but outside of its center. It was as if I had always beheld
my own heart from some position outside. Now the barriers
had been utterly dissolved by an exhaustive investigation of
the Nature of that Presence. The investigation of the
Presence had resolved into the Knowledge of my own
Self-Nature. The Presence had revealed Itself to be my Very
Form and Self-Nature.

The experience of the Presence was,
by means of the most perfect Realization of radical
understanding, replaced by the most perfect Realization of
“Bright” Self-Awareness. There was no longer any Presence
“outside” me. I no longer “observed” my own “Bright”
Self-Nature, or the Ultimate (and inherently “Bright”)
Condition of Reality, as if from some position external to
(and separate from) It. I had become utterly Aware of myself
As Reality. There was no Presence. I had become Present.
There Is no Other. It Is only Me.

Even my meditation was changed.
There was no meditation. This Consciousness could not be
deepened or enlarged. It always only remained What It Is. I
meditated (as a formal activity) only to see how
“meditation” had been affected by my Realization, or,
otherwise, to formally regard the conditions in the body,
the mind, even any part of my living (or extended) being, or
even any conditions at all. But I was no longer the
meditative seeker, the one who seeks (or, otherwise, does
not Know) God, Truth, Reality, Liberation, Release, or
Growth. I no longer supposed any limitation as myself. I Am
He. I Am She. I Am It. I Am That Only One.

I noticed a physical change in
myself. My belly dropped and expanded, and, thus and
thereby, permanently assumed the “pot-shaped” Yogic form. I
always feel the Pressure of Shakti-Energy there, and I
breathe It continually. It is the breathing of my Very
Being, the endless and profound Communication of the
inherent “Brightness” of Reality to Itself.

In “meditation”, I looked to observe
how I was related to the worlds of conditional experience.
Immediately, I realized that I was not in any sense “in” a
body, not only the physical body, but any body, or any
functional sheath, including the most subtle. Nor have I
ever been in a body, or in any functional sheath, or in any
conditional realm, or in any conditional experience. All
such things are patterns conditionally manifested within my
own Self-Nature.

Yet (even so), I realized that, in
the context of natural appearances, I am Communicated
through a specific center in the body. Relative to the body,
I appear to reside in the heart, but to the right side of
the chest. I press upon a point approximately an inch and
one-half to the right of the center of the chest. This is
the seat of Reality and Real Consciousness. And I Abide
there as no-seeking. There is no motivation, no dilemma, no
separation, no strategic action, no suffering. I am
no-seeking in the Heart.

I described my constant experience
as follows:

The zero of the heart is expanded as
the world. Consciousness is not differentiated and
identified. There is a constant observation of subject and
object in any body, any functional sheath, any realm, or any
experience that arises. Thus, I remain in the unqualified
State. There is a constant Sensation of “Bright” Fullness
permeating and surrounding all experiences, all realms, all
bodies, all functional sheaths. It is my own “Bright”
Fullness, Which is radically non-separate. My own “Bright”
Fullness includes all beings and all things. I am the Form
of Space Itself, in Which all bodies, all functional
sheaths, all realms, and all experiences occur. It is
inherently “Bright” Consciousness Itself, which Reality is
even every being’s Very Nature (or Ultimate, inherent, and
inherently perfect, Condition) now and now and
now.

And again:

During the night of mankind, I
Awakened as perfect, absolute, awesome Love-Bliss, in Which
the body and the mind, even every functional sheath, boiled
into a solder of undifferentiated Reality. It was the
madness of dissolution into most perfect Self-Awareness,
Infinitely Expanded, my own inherently boundless Presence,
wherein there is only “Brightness”, not qualified by
conditional identification, or self-differentiation, or
ego-based desire.

Hereafter, I am Free of bondage to
the cosmic Power. I am unexploitable. The Shakti that
appears apart, as any form of apparently independent, or
merely cosmic, Power and Presence, is no longer the Great
Importance. The Presence of Power “outside” appears as such
only to seekers, for they, having already separated
themselves, pursue forms of Energy, visions, nature-powers,
liberation, and God. True Knowledge is free of all bondage
to forms (or modifications) of Energy, all seeking, all
motivation to “do” based on identification with conditional
experience. Egoic ignorance and suffering are simply this
separateness, this difference, this search. At last, the
“outside” Shakti sacrifices Herself in the Heart.
Thereafter, there is no gnawing wonder, no un-Known “secret”
about anything that appears.


from:

The Life of Understanding

p.29 – 39

There was the force, but not this
personal manifestation. But when I entered the Vedanta
Temple on this first day, the personal manifestation, the
personal presence of the Mother Shakti in her infinite form
manifested, which is quite a different thing than the other
Shakti appearing as a visual image. But it. was a cosmic
presence, an obviously identifiable presence. And the reason
it could be identified as it was was because my own nature
had also begun to take on the form of this cosmic
presence.

So there was a period of weeks when
I would go back and forth to the Vedanta Temple as I have
described in the book. I would ask the Shakti to come with
me, and then she would be with me, there were all these
games being played. Then I thought well I shouldn’t ask the
Shakti to just be with me, and now she’s gone from this
temple, or she’s just exclusively with me,I didn’t want any
of that. So then she’d appear in the temple again, and I’d
see light in the temple. All kinds of odd changes were going
on, and it was simply the. transformation of the lower life
into (to) cosmic life. It was a turnabout from the personal
ego into the cosmic ego. And it was also a period of time in
which the tantric sadhana was fulfilled in me.

So if you read the experiences in
the Vedanta Temple carefully, you will see that they are a
description of tantric sadhana, of the union of, what is
symbolically the union of the male and the female yogis,
their sexual union. And this is magnified in their conscious
states into a higher form of union. In this case there was
no physical symbolic form of it. I wasn’t there with a
physical woman, but I was dealing with the Shakti as a
woman, as a yogini, but as the cosmic yogini. And I was
participating with her as a cosmic manifestation, myself.
And so there was this play of energy, this play of cosmic
tantra that went on for several weeks, and it culminated in
this union. And it was the tantric bliss, perfection of the
tantric sadhana, in which the (ultimate) duality of the
cosmic manifestation is ultimately seen to be one, and
experienced as one. And once this tantric union occurred,
the whole aspect of cosmic yoga itself was fulfilled, and an
entirely new process appeared afterwards, so that when I
returned to the Vedanta Temple after this experience of the
tantric union, there was no longer the person of the Shakti,
there was no longer any yogic process, no dualities, no
activity, there was only the prior Reality, intuitively
realized, perfectly realized from that moment. So in fact
(this) this instant in the Vedanta Temple after the tantric
phase of the internal activity on a cosmic scale, not on a
personal scale any longer.

It was at this point that in a
certain real sense we could say that the adventure of my
sadhana came to an end. But it wasn’t like a sudden mental
realization or whatever, it was perfect realization, it
transcended the mind and the life. And so its implications
relative to the mind and the life had to be grasped over
time. It wasn’t suddenly I got up and understood from the
minds point of view exactly what had occurred, the mind
dissolved, everything was resolved into the prior principle.
So the process of living what was now the real condition
took days, weeks, months to be recognized and implemented at
the level of life and mind.

Shortly after this time, I began to
write The Knee of Listening. There are some notes here that
Sal had taken in our last discussion that probably I should
read. It says, “He recognized the Shakti as omnipresent.” in
other words, the Shakti became obvious as the very
condition, the all embracing perfect presence in Reality,
beyond any personal manifestation. The Person of the Shakti
became infinite and my own presence in relation to the
Shakti became limitless, void, absolute. “The experience of
union transformed the lower.” In other words, this perfect
union, tantric union on the highest level transformed
everything below it, all the manifest functions were
transformed by this fulfillment of sadhana. And also the
personal and individual existence was transformed into
cosmic existence.

There was a particularly during this
period of going back and forth to the Vedanta Temple, a
lifting out of the point of view of consciousness from
anything like personal sadhana, or witnessing of the effects
of sadhana in the body, and in the person to a cosmic
dimension.

But on this last day after the
cosmic union, the tantric union, even this was transcended
and perfected in the prior realization of the Heart, of the
Self nature. And when, in this experience the winter before
in New York, when the sahasrar was severed, there was a
realization that, it was not a matter of being in some
encapsulated, descended, separated condition, and looking up
through stages like on a ladder until you could grasp the
Divine Light. It was instantly, priorly realized. The Light
was instantly perfectly realized, prior to any sense of
ascent or the need to ascend prior of any sense of
obstruction, limitation.

So the Light was realized without
obstruction, without prior conditions, as always already the
case at that time. Now at this tine, the source of that
Light, the source of which the Light itself is the
reflection was perfectly enjoyed. And the immediately
preceding incident that made the way for this falling into
the Heart was the cosmic union, the tantric union.

But just so, this was not an
exclusive realization. It began to reveal itself in quite
another way as time went on. There was not a falling into
the Heart exclusively in which there was no longer the
generation of the conscious Light and the participation in
the manifest and cosmic process. But there was a spontaneous
regeneration of Amrita Nadi, or the relationship between the
Heart and the Light, or real God and the Divine Light. So
the dilemma was absolutely dissolved from this point, and
all the forms that the dilemma takes.

Two peculiarly interesting and
important phenomena arose. The one was the tacit awareness
as the Heart and from the Heart on the right, this opening
of the causal being. And another was this dropping of the
belly that I mentioned. Now I’ve talked frequently of the
center on the right, but I haven’t spoken a great deal about
the dropping of the belly because as I said, I didn’t want
to get into this whole affair of putting attention on the
internal process until an appropriate time. But without
getting into the whole affair that is behind all of that, It
was as if a connecting thread that goes from the navel to
the depths of the lower body were snipped, that contraction
or vital shock. You feel something like a thread that holds
the navel in and gives you that little cramp. It was just
cut, and I began to feel full in the abdomen all the time,
and walked around feeling that fullness with the belly
pressed out, that you may feel sitting in meditation at
times. At times this was stronger than in others, and
particularly for a period of time, at this particular time,
particularly for a few days, perhaps weeks following there
was this sensation constantly. Then the pressure there
became rhythmic, periodic, occurred when it was appropriate,
but there was the continuous sense of fullness there, of a
centering there. And that is a sign of the internal
spiritual process. There is perfect conductivity when there
is no longer vital obstruction, no longer this vital shock
as a principle.

A very long section, it goes up from
page 134 to about page 145, in which I describe the various
phenomena that I witnessed, in myself, the implications, how
I understood them now, what the point of view was, what the
stable sense was of the phenomena of life. And I began to
describe somehow the sense of my relationship to these
phenomena, and what this generally amounts to is a
description of Amrita Nadi, or the description of conscious
life from the point of view of the full realization of
Amrita Nadi, not the exclusive descent into or dissolution
in the Heart, nor the exclusive ecstasies of involvement in
the manifest light or subtle drama, nor of exclusive
distraction in the descended processes of ordinary
experience and perception. It was not exclusive in any
sense, but a perfect ease relative to all of these
phenomena.

The form of enquiry that had
developed in my understanding seemed to go on continually in
the Heart, “Avoiding relationship?” And as the enquiry
penetrated every experience and every apparent dilemma, I
would feel the bliss and energy of consciousness rise out of
the Heart and enter the sahasrar. Whereas this Amrita Nadi
this intuitive structure, which duplicates the perfect
structure or the Divine Reality was the form of
consciousness, not exclusive containment in the Heart. Not
exclusive distraction in the bright, or the light of the
sahasrar, nor exclusive involvement in the life
manifestation, but continuous intuitive relationship to the
entire process. Bliss and energy of consciousness rise out
of the Heart and enter he sahasrar, the highest point in
consciousness, and stabilize there as a continuous current
to the Heart.

I saw that this form, the form of
Reality, the structure of consciousness was Reality itself.
It was the structure of all things, the foundation, nature
and identity of all things. It was the point of everything,
it was blissful and free. That form of consciousness and
energy was exactly what I had known as the bright. So this
was simply the radical realization in the body, in the life
and in every other level of that condition that existed from
the very beginning, which is described in the first page of
this book even.

As I continued in this way I
remained stably as that form. There was no longer any
adventure, no longer any transforming sadhana. And all
things revealed themselves in Truth. The bright was that
ultimate form of Reality, the Heart of all existence, the
foundation of Truth and the yet unrealized goal of all
seekers. So Amrita Nadi then became the medium of the
intuitive form of comprehension and the stable state. And
thus even while living in the ordinary way, anticipating the
ordinary experiences, doing the same things, indulging
myself, and seeing the effects of that, disciplining myself,
seeing the effects of that, there was from this time then, a
transformation of all of my activities, and the writing of
the book began, teaching began. Various Siddhis of various
kinds relative to teaching began to arise. Transformations
and refinements of the external life began to arise. Moral
transformation of my life began to arise. A spontaneous
transformation that was appropriate to the stable condition
began to arise quite spontaneously over these last few
years, coincident (with my) with the awakening function of
teaching.

Now one of the things (that was)
that seemed important to me was to discover precedence for
this whole process that had been enacted in me, and this
fundamental enjoyment that was now alive in me. I thought it
would be good to find a such precedence for very much the
same reason that I previously decided that I would not teach
for motivations of my own, but sought a traditional
acknowledgment and traditional permission as the beginning
of my teaching work. Just so I thought it would be useful to
have a traditional justification or a traditional reflection
to which I could point to corroborate my own testimony, and
to align myself with the traditional literature in some way,
because of what people would be coming to me with. So I
began to look through the various things, and the various
literature, and none of them in themselves represented
it.

But then in the case of Maharshi, I
found a duplication of many of the fundamentals at any rate
of my experience, the process that had come on in me. Just
as it went on spontaneously in him, it essentially went on
spontaneously in me. Except in my own case it was different
function to be served in my own case. I have a different
function than Maharshi had. And I exist in a different tire
and place. There were different reasons for certain of the
phenomena in my own case than there were in his. But in
terms of the fundamentals, there was a real alignment
between the two. First of all the fact that it was a
spontaneous event, the whole adventure, all these 30 some
odd years was a spontaneous activity in my own case. Just as
in his case, (was) particularly his very brief thing was
very spontaneous, his brief transformation. But just as in
his brief transformation there was this death dramatization,
in my own case there was also. And Just as he was aware of
this center on the right, I was also, and just as who was
aware of the Heart, or the Self Reality, real God as being
the fundamental force of realization, I was also he spoke of
Amrita Nadi , and he spoke very much in terms of all of the
things with which I intensely associate myself and my
teaching. There were of course some differences, because of
the difference in his function, and the difference in his
communication. And one of the fundamental ones is that he
speaks of Amrita Nadi essentially as a path of descent, of
movement down from the yogis region, subtle region of the
sahasrar into the Self. And he sees that as the ultimate
Coal of sadhana. In my own case there was also this movement
downward through Amrita Nadi into the Heart. But there was
also the spontaneous regeneration of Amrita Nadi. And
Maharshi does not speak of this. Generally he speaks only of
the Heart in more or less exclusive terms. Though in some
conversations you find him trying to speak in some way of
the other side of it. Of how this same Self that is realized
in this exclusive way is also the foundation of our present
life, the present manifestation. But he didn’t really
coordinate himself with that form of teaching that was not
his function. Doesn’t mean his realization was limited in
any sense, it is his function.

God manifests as the Guru for
specific purposes, to form a specific function. And each
Guru, true Guru is a manifestation of the Divine function
appearing in a particular way and a particular time and
place. And God is not Exclusively identified with that
function, so that he can only be recognized in the form
forever, or that particular Guru is the only Guru who ever
lived, or the best who ever lived and all that sort of
nonsense. The Divine is continually operating, and the Guru
is a peculiar form of his operation.

 


The
Knee of Listening and Study Chapters – Table of
Contents