Have I Said It? – Suffering

Have I Said It?

Franklin Jones, 1973 (Adi Da Samraj)

Note to reader:

As a member of Adi Da’s (then Bubba Free John’s) community from about 1973-1975, during which time I lived for nine months in Persimmon, the sanctuary where he lived. My service was to create an index of his early books. I found these writings to be compelling, along with some of the outrageous talks that have not found their way into print. Around his birthday in 1975 (to the best of my recollection), Adi Da was planning on moving with a small group to Hawaii. For that occasion, I arranged a selection of his compelling words by topic (mostly selected from his books) and hand-wrote them in a blank book for his enjoyment. As far as I know, nothing ever came of that compilation. That became Book One of two parts, the second of which I completed some time thereafter. Now through the Internet, I make both parts available to interested readers. These blank books (I made a copy for myself) have been sitting on my bookshelves all this time, and after Adi Da’s passing, it occurred to me that this compilation would be very useful to many readers.

Enjoy,

Ed Hirsch
presenceofone@yahoo.com
Ashland, Oregon


 

 

Bubba Free John, 1974 – Adi Da Samraj, 2008

 

Chapter 6

Suffering

Suffering is Your Own
Activity.

 

Your suffering is entirely your
own,

It is your own activity.

And it is a radically present
activity,

Not caused by something else.

You are not suffering

What is happening

Or has happened

Or will happen to you.

Your suffering is your own
activity.

Nobody put you into

Your present state.

No one is keeping you in it.

It is a present activity.

It is your present activity.

 

Something has already
happened.

You are already suffering.

Suffering is not your symptom,

It is your activity.

That is the paradox.

 

In every case

There is one fundamental
activity.

One thing is the suffering.

It is an activity, this
activity.

Our suffering is our own
activity.

It is something we are doing

Moment to moment.

It is a completely voluntary
activity.

 

What are you doing?

What are you always doing?

What are you doing now?

Grasp it.

Fall into truth

And grasp onto nothing after
that.

Throw away everything but
that,

And continually know that.

 

Fear is the very mood

Of the ego.

Fear is your creation,

Not something happening to
you.

If you are troubled

By what arises,

You are not in your proper

Relationship to things.

You are not existing

In relationship to what arises

At all.

 

The drama is unnecessary.

What has all of that

Got to do with you?

When you enjoy truth,

You are already free.

And if you are free,

What has all of this

Compulsive limitation

To do with you?

Why are you conditionable?

Why are you suffering

These conditions?

It is your own action.

When this contraction

Does not occur,

No conditioning occurs,

No thought binds.

 

There is only bliss.

All of this

Is already bliss.

Bliss is the nature of this.

Bliss is the nature of
consciousness,

Bliss is the nature of this
event.

There are lots of someplace
elses,

But they will be no more blissful for
you

Than this

if you are not

Already blissful.

 

If you were already free of
suffering,

It wouldn’t make any difference to
you

Whether this room appeared,

Or a ballroom in Vienna,

Or a seventh plane party!

The fact that suffering is
gone

Would be the thing

That makes you happy.

When suffering no longer
distracts,

You see that you are already
happy,

That you are happiness.

 

It is your own activity.

In every second,

See that it is not only

That you are disturbed,

But you are disturbing everybody
else.

You are disturbed!

 

You are asking questions.

You have this dilemma.

That is true.

That is the whole point.

You are suffering! Yes?

Since you are only suffering,

Why are you defending

All of this nonsense?

It is time to be rid of all of
that.

It is utterly unnecessary.

It can be abandoned!

 

All of that I want
surrendered.

I want to see all the beards, all the
hair,

All the mantras, all the clothing, all
of

The suffering, all of the sorrows, all of
the

Long faces, all of the yoga, all of the
visions,

All of the beliefs, all of the
philosophies,

All of the religion and
spirituality,

All of your racial and personal
history,

I want to see your birth and your
death.

I want all of it.

Such are the implications of
truth.

 

All attempts

To relieve the life of
suffering

By various means, remedies,

Do not produce truth.

They may heal disease.

But only truth produces truth.

Only the most radical approach

To a man’s suffering

Is useful.

 

I see men suffering.

While they are being truth
only,

I see them suffering.

The fact they are suffering

Doesn’t make them any less the
truth,

Any less the same thing

That is all beings, all
things.

It simply means that they are
suffering.

If you look at all beings

From the point of view of
truth,

There is only truth,

And truth has this

Little chronic problem!

 

It is not that truth is
absent.

Truth is always already the
case.

It is simply not obvious to
men.

Truth is not absent.

Men are suffering.

Wherever we are

Fundamentally concerned,

We are also

Fundamentally in conflict.

 

The you who does all of that

Is itself the suffering.

It knows nothing.

It is itself the suffering.

The man having an ecstatic
vision

Is in the same condition

As the man watching a tv
commercial.

The state of the ordinary yogi

Is as much an illusion

As the state of the

Dying, suffering man.

The only ones

Who are not suffering

Are those who are living
truth.

 

We are mad.

The ordinary state of our
existence,

Although it is usually kept
intact

And relatively calmed

By the politics of human
society,

Is founded in the madness of a prior
logic,

A schism in reality

That promotes the whole
suffering

Adventure of our lives

In endless and cosmic
obstacles.

 

All our suffering and all our
deaths

Are endured only in the
concepts,

The functions and mentality

That are guided by the unconscious
logic

Of narcissus.

 

Narcissus begins where there
is

A frustration of creativity.

Where there is no narcissus

There is simply unqualified creativity
and presence.

Narcissus is the reduction of the
world

To the form of his own separate
person.

 

Seeking is the drama of
narcissus.

He waits outside the heart.

There is no salvation for
narcissus.

Salvation is reality,

Which has nothing to do with
narcissus.

There is only reality, which is not
narcissus.

Understanding is the absence of
narcissus.

Where there is understanding, narcissus
does not arise.

Where there is the absence of
narcissus,

There is only reality.

Narcissus is dead.

 

Man, like every other

Manifestation in reality,

Is a totality, non-separate,

Unqualified, powerful and
perfect.

His life is universal life and
consciousness.

However, he lives as a
composite

Of separate, limited and rival
functionsm

Or as an entity

Identical to its lowest

And mortal form.

 

Man can enjoy God, Truth and
Reality

So he must realize that
consciously

While alive.

It requires a transformation in
him

That exceeds all that he is,

All that he tends to be,

And all that he prefers.

It requires an absolute
turnabout.

How great is that occupation,

Compared to all the bullshit

That human beings live!

 

This life

As it is commonly lived

Is insane.

From the moment

Of its awareness,

This life is a question.

It seems absurd

To be actually existing

And yet not to know

What actually existing is,

And to spend the entire period

Of actually existing

Trying to discover

What actually existing is!

This is an insane condition!

 

You want to be consoled and
fascinated.

That’s what it is.

That’s what you’re up to.

It’s not that you are trying

To understand and really
can’t.

It’s just that you are

Fundamentally, presently

Committed to that thing

That understanding would make
impossible.

 

If you could truly grasp

What it is

Your life is making out of
you,

You would be terrified by
that,

Not by God and the universe

And the nature of things.

You would be terrified

By your own tendencies.

 

Just to perceive

The point of view of the
search,

If you could truly see it,

Would be terrifying.

 

Suffering is the primary fact

For individual life.

Everyone is suffering

In exactly the same way.

Everything happens
appropriately,

Even for those who live

In ignorance of Truth.

 

It is just that, apart from
Truth,

Apart from the life of Truth,

The appropriate thing that
happens

Is suffering and death!

Nothing is about to happen

To any of you

Except death.

That’s it!

That’s your dues

For a distraction,

A good dream.

That which seeks release from
death

Must die.

 

Every moment

Is the moment of fearful death

And the attempt to create

That which shouldn’t die

But must die.

Everybody dies.

Everybody who has ever lived

Has died.

There is no escape from death.

Every single one of you

Is going to die.

You are going to die:

Literally and absolutely.

Not just a little bit.

It is not just your body

That is going to die.

You are going to die,

And that is the truth.

You are going to die.

Nothing that is conditional

Survives.

 

What is amazing,

In this manifestation of billions of
beings,

With millions of human beings,

Is that one can appear to be
born

Among so many and yet have so little
company

For a lifetime.

Because every one is obsessed!

Every one is moving that way,

The other way, at light-speed.

 

In the midst of all these
distractions

That we try to generate every single
moment,

As often as we can,

Basically no one knows what this
is.

No one! No one knows what it
is.

The usual man stands as a human
being

In the world

Without the slightest idea what that
is.

You don’t know where it began.

You don’t know fundamentally what it
is,

You don’t know where it goes.

Nobody knows what it is.

 

There is far more involved in
life

Than that of which people

Have even a little awareness.

We “get along” with one
another,

And just don’t deal with anything
fundamental.

So we don’t live as if there were God,
Truth and Reality.

But we don’t really live

As if there were not God, Truth and
Reality either.

 

Truly, human existence

Has not appeared in the world as
yet.

Watch human beings,

I mean literally, just watch
everyone.

All these idiotic beings.

There are billions upon
billions

Overpopulating the earth, bombing one
another,

And making treaties with one
another,

And they are totally deluded.

Not a single one of them

Has enjoyed a moment as
enlightening

As a wave on the beach!

 

I’m not trying to be amusing,

But that’s the way it is.

All of that

May be amusing to you,

And the dumber you are,

The more likely you are

To be amused by it!

Maybe i’m getting out of line,

But that’s the way it seems to
me!

I can’t understand how people

Can go on with it.

I mean it overwhelms me.

As soon as i think about what people
do

From day to day, I literally cannot
believe it!

I can’t understand how you put up with
it

Without screaming your brains
loose
.

 

You just want to get it on, you
know,

Watch the news,

Suck it down and wait until
death.

I can’t understand that kind of
mentality.

But as soon as you get a little
bit

Hip to it,

As soon as it all gets really
amusing

To you,

Then Bubba Free John – Adi Da Samraj – is
here.

 

The world is absolutely
insane.

The world in itself and as it
is

Does not have any capacity
whatsoever

For enduring the Divine
Presence.

The Divine Manifestation

Is not permitted in this
world.

It is the ultimate taboo.

The world is a massive
resister

Of the Divine Event.

 

The cult of narcissus,

The cult of this world,

Is all about

The suppression of ecstasy,

The suppression of happiness.

We deny one another

The life-force

In the absence of love.

To love is to share principal
food,

To share the Divine.

 

We are starving.

We do not love.

To seek to find god,

To seek to be realized,

Why does that seem so obvious to
you,

So reasonable? Because you are only
reasonable.

You have ceased to be
unreasonable.

You have ceased to live in your
fundamental

And prior condition, which is
enjoyment,

Bliss, happiness, fullness in which
everything

Is justified, in which all functional
conditions

Are justified and eternally
free.

 

This absolute blissfulness is too
happy

For people in the usual condition to
tolerate!

It is really too much.

They can’t live with it,

They can’t function with it,

They can’t accept it.

They are always looking

For something that is just

A little aggravating!

 

A cultic object is allowed to be
Divine

In this world,

A conventional guru is allowed to be
Divine,

A God in a book is allowed to be
Divine,

But you are not allowed to be
Divine!

In this moment you are not
permitted

To be happy.

It is taboo.

It is taboo to be already
happy.

 

You must seek happiness.

It is all right to seek god.

But to realize God, Truth and Reality
while alive

Is the absolute taboo.

To start talking about God, Truth and
Reality,

To think God, Truth and Reality,

to act God, Truth and Reality,

To make the Divine

The present condition of the
world,

To life that Divine Power,

To live that light, to be
full,

That is unacceptable.

That is not permitted.

 

The cult of this world

Is based on the assumption

That there exists a separate
one,

Who needs to be realized

Or fulfilled or made healthy

Or made happy or whatever.

All of that is a colossal lot

Of nonsense, because there is no such
one.

There is already no such one.

You do not have to run through

Aeons of time for there to be

No such one,

To destroy this phantom ego.

There is already no such one.

He does not exist

To be destroyed.

He does not exist.

 

There is no reason at all

Why it should complicate
existence

To make the little reference to
“me.”

There is no profound reason
why,

On the basis of that simple

Little social reference,

You should get involved

To the depths of your psyche,

High and low,

In this egoic drama,

This assumption of narcissus.

It is just a concept,

A modification of your own
awareness,

It has no fundamental existence at
all.

 

You will continue to be
frightened

Of its dissolution

Until you know its
nothingness,

Until you know the Divine

Who is Omnipresent,

Who is Existence.

 

You are not an ego now,

And truly,

You cannot become the self of
God.

You are already that
self-nature.

The Divine Person

Is always already your
condition.

Your very Consciousness,

Your own Consciousness,

Is the Divine Self.

It is presently that Divine
Self.

It is infinite, formless,

Unqualified, unconditioned,

Absolute Consciousness.

 

That is your nature,

That is the nature

Of every being.

There is only

The Divine Consciousness.

And you are that.

 

 


Have I Said It?

Franklin Jones, 1974 (Adi Da Samraj)

More:

The Teaching

Reality

God

No Dilemma

Seeking

Suffering

Spiritual Life

Realization

Understanding

Ignorance

“I” Am the Body

Bubba Free John

The Guru

Satsang

The Devotee

The Community


 

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