The Truth of the Matter
“You must be willing to vanish completely, to be completely obliterated. You will become capable of that sacrifice only by degrees, because your fear is profound. The frigidity of feeling-attention is most profound in you, because of your experience, your adaptation. Therefore, the process of God-Realization is a matter of time and practice.” The Secret of Divine Translation
Be aware that without having become truly responsible for the conventional reactive disposition of the body-mind you should not entertain the consideration of the esoteric matters. You must stay with the basics.
Just because your mind may comprehend an esoteric principle does not mean you’ve realized anything about it. You may like the idea of applying esoteric principles to your understanding of spiritual matters, but it is complete nonsense. Because you are not responsible, not truly human you will simply be using knowledge as a way of reinforcing the self-possessed motives of your ordinary and unillumined life. This is one reason since ancient times esoteric practices were not introduced to those who did not demonstrate a level of adaptation at the foundational levels. It was only when foundational levels of practices were established that esoteric practices were introduced into the spiriutal process.