Chapter 19 – Paradox of Instruction

Process of Self Observation

#38 – I Sensory Body – Be the Body – without
abstraction…thinking, thinking. Not ‘hearing’. Beginning
to identity ego.

#39 – Identification of Sensory body is first form of
self contraction – conditional self.


This if very different but yet very similiar to “I” is
the body of Love


Be the Body

Understand egoity – the self contraction itself

First stand as the body without interior/exterior point
of view.

Relax from conceptual mind – interior perceptual mind and
be the total – ‘I’ total body mind. Physicall felt – not

Before understanding self contraction you must stand as
the body – ease as the body mind – like Mararshi two step
process – let the I be it. Find out the ego – discover the



The inspiration for this first step, which is searching
for the bull, is feeling that things are not wholesome,
something is lacking. That feeling of loss produces pain.
You are looking for whatever it is that will make the
situation right. You discover that ego’s attempt to create
an ideal environment is unsatisfactory.


To be body without self contraction is a relatively
radiant position. Not resisting body – be in relationship to
elements – be continuous with all it’s likeness/environment.
Still ego! Still contraction .

7th Stage of life is to be identified with Divine and not
body. But not disassociated from body. Not contracting, not
identified with principle of contracting. I is the body is
..could say…description of 7th stage disposition. True
disposition …first Be the Body.


3. Perceiving the Bull

You are startled at perceiving the bull and then, because
there is no longer any mystery, you wonder if it is really
there; you perceive its insubstantial quality. You lose the
notion of subjective criteria. When you begin to accept this
perception of non-duality, you relax, because you no longer
have to defend the existence of your ego. The you can afford
to be open and generous. You begin to see another way of
dealing with your projects and that is joy in itself, the
first spiritual level of the attainment of the


Positive Disillusionment – necessary before first phase
is complete.


Counter-egoic activity

p. 188 Paradox of Instruction

“Your activity must be the gesture of absolute certainity
to infinity….

Attention should be free through feeling, feeling self is
conscious self. Unobstruced ..then mind become attention,
through feeling.

p. 192


True Hearing – Total Self Awareness

Freedom to identify with both sides of your ‘script’ in
any given moment. Ego two sided conflict – bondage – can’t
do eith side of conflict – really convicted of egoism –
paralaze – may be aware of both sides and may play it out
…but not sensitive to it being bondage, can’t move
anymore. Totally aware – only suffer it…something added to
what is…contraction is added to what already exists.

Living in delemia – act of both half – self contraction –

summary insight

most subtle

Hearing is gradual but true hearing is Summary.

Keep one unaware of from which it is occuring.


Ego is a koan . A knot.


Hearing is like Satori – free attention. Free cirulation
of energy – well being…freedom …intuitive sense of great


Beginning of process