Consent to Be That Which You Are




of Santosha Adi Da (Gathering “Considerations”
with Beloved Adi Da Samraj, at Sugar Bowl Ski Resort and the
Manner of Flowers, December 29 and 30 1995, and January 3, 1996.




A Gathering “Consideration” with Beloved Bhagavan Adi Da,
in the Manner of Flowers, on January , 1996


DEVOTEE: I have something, Beloved, Ive been
observing tonight, and that is, we were talking earlier,
when Stanley was talking about mind and speech, but what Ive
been experiencing, particularly tonight, is in reception of

AVATARA ADI DA: Hearing people speak?


DEVOTEE:: And that. . .

AVATARA ADI DA: Receiving speech?

DEVOTEE: Receiving speech.


DEVOTEE: Because tonight in particular I just feel
Your Siddhi so strongly, and thats what the speech feels
like, you know, this is how I perceive it. This is how I
sense it. And its just, it just feels like nectar, it feels
like all kinds of different things.

AVATARA ADI DA: Tcha. Well, Word is very powerful.
Especially if you are sensitized to it, and, as you suggest,
open to receive it. People use talk in all kinds of ways,
all kinds of games are played with it. Basically superficial
games, social communications of one kind or another, and by
all of that people suppress the power of speech. They know
nothing about Mantra or holy Word, or the speech of a
Realizer of one degree or another. They dont know speech
associated with power, with energy. They dont know that
speech can transmit energy, be the medium for its
transmission. Thats why it says in the Shaktipat tradition,
one of the means for transmission is the word of the Master,
you see. The typical ritual around it, in its lesser form,
is for the Master to say something into the ear in an
initiatory ceremony. But what it is supposed to be is the
Transmission of Spiritual Power, through directed speech
from a person of power to someone to be initiated or

So, if you enter into this Sphere of Energy, of
Divine Life, speech gets Transformed. One of the first
things that happens is it gets concentrated away from the
worldly game and gets concentrated in sadhana. But then it
awakens further and becomes the speech of praise, devotion,
and so on. Its all part of “conductivity”. Its yielding the
speech, the human speech process, to the Divine Condition,
therefore to the Condition of Light, of Energy, of Shakti,
of Spiritual Power. As the being, then, becomes one with
Spiritual Power in one form or another, speech becomes
powerful. All kinds of signs appear. In other words, the
entire body-mind gets Transformed by Spiritual Infusion.

You can get attached to those experiences and
avoid the sadhana, as Ive Said. But also theyre an ordinary
enough part of Spiritualizing life, so they certainly are
noticed and addressed somehow or other.

And in each individual this Spiritualization
produces a pattern of signs that are unique to the
individual. So its not all the same. But it is true,
generally speaking, that the speech of someone who is a
Spiritualized personality to some degree or another, that
speech conveys something to others that is beyond the
meaning of words merely. This is why people are deeply
affected by associations with some people-of course, you as
My devotees with Me, but its noticed in all kinds of
circumstances. People call it charisma, for one thing. If
you look at, you know, the physical person of somebody whos
said to have charisma, without doing anything particularly,
it may look relatively ordinary, if you compared it to the
appearance of somebody else whos not presumed to have
anything like that, they look virtually the same. Nothing
outstanding. But its in the speech and the activity, the
play , of such an individual, that the effective energy
passes to others.

So you meet people who are said to have charisma,
you know, sports figures or whatever. They are manifesting
this, not in the high Spiritual sense, but they are
manifesting something about free energy. It may be simply a
natural energy, whatever, but they are energized in their
personality beyond what they look like, because they look
like basically others do, but in their play, their action,
their speech and so forth, people are very impressed by
them, cant take their eyes off them, whatever. They have a
certain kind of attractiveness about them, and such people
influence others in various ways. Hopefully positively. But
the examples that you could commonly point to are not
examples of Spiritual development. But they are signs of how
energy works in human beings.

But presumably My devotees, really doing the
sadhana, certainly become more and more charismatic, I would
say, something like that, more energized characters. Not
necessarily in the vital sense, but curiously energized, a
lot of free energy, which shows itself in how you are, what
you do, how people are influenced by you, whatever. Its at
first a natural phenomenon. Wherever there is energy
loosened up, to flow in the faculties of the personality,
theres more strength of quality.

And so it is true in the actual case of Spiritual
sadhana. All the faculties are to some one or another
significant degree Spiritualized. But for it to be so,
basically you must Stand in the Spiritual position. Its not
enough to have Spiritual effects fall on you as experiences
for you to Awaken or advance or be significantly
transformed, and so on. Such things come and go. They dont
have very much of a long-lasting effect. So you must
actually enter into the Spiritual position, be Spiritually
practicing, for the kind of energization I was just
Describing to be significant. When you receive Me that way,
then I pass all through the body-mind. There are symptoms of
that, purificatory events and demands for changing this and
that, releasing this and that and so on, signs of this
energization, and especially in the Spiritual stages, of
course. Because there you are, as seers of Me, identified
with Me Spiritually.

[to Janis] Now, you, some of you have been
acknowledging that, and you were just doing so, how you feel
a Transmission from Me listening to Me Speak to you or to
others or perhaps even when you study My Word or look at My


AVATARA ADI DA: Well, this is why there is such
Transmission, you see.

DEVOTEE: The other thing I was feeling, which is not
related to that at all, is that all night Ive just been
feeling so clearly why the Realizer is the gem, the jewel,
the treasure. Ive just been feeling that all night.


DEVOTEE: Because, I dont know, I think-I dont know
why it came out that way, but thats what it felt like, its
been feeling like to me.

AVATARA ADI DA: For those who will Realize, the
Realizer is absolutely essential. The Realizer is not only
That Which is to be Realized but is the very Means for
Realizing and is the Process Itself. It has to be brought to
you directly so a link is established for all those in that
tradition from then.

So This Body wont last forever, but it has only a
particular Work to do. It doesnt have a forever-lasting
requirement. But its absolutely essential, will always be.
My Word, My Murti, My Leelas-these will always be associated
with devotees, forever. And are Means to contact Me
directly. And there will be Murti-Gurus and so forth which
will have their service, and all the other
Instrumentalities. But first I had to Appear and Do this
Work in this Manner, in this Form.

But its not that after the physical Lifetime of
This Body, the Way has come to an end. Not at all. Im
preparing you to do that sadhana after the Lifetime of This
Body, not only you all here in this room. Im not referring
in particular to you all in this room necessarily. For all
devotees forever.

Im Working through this Body presently with all
devotees, but Im not giving you a Way that can only take
place while I am physically Alive, you see. Im Giving you
the eternal Way, the Way that will be practiced after the
Lifetime of this body, as well as during it. But there could
be no such Way without My making this Appearance. Where
would you get the Word? Where would you get the Murti? Where
would you get the Master? Where would you get the
Revelation? You can philosophize and posture with the mind,
but you cant Realize without Revelation, without the

Im not giving you merely a culture of religiosity.
Im Giving you the Way of Realization. But Im sure looking
for a lot of people to get a lot more serious about it.

Have you been adding water to this glass?
[laughter] It seems never to get any lower.

DEVOTEE: [referring to a recent movie]
Groundhog cup.

AVATARA ADI DA: So? Any more about speech, the
power of speech, the power of Mantra? The voice, the speech,
of the Master is Mantra. This is why its to be regarded as
something sacred and not something in the public domain. You
must relate to My Word in such a way that you allow its
Transmission Force, allow its Instructing Force, as always,
even years ago.

But dont make My Word holy in the sense that you
set it apart and just sort of worship it, or smile at it.
No, youve got to get hands on about it. Its completely user
friendly. [laughter] So you have to combine with it,
you have to embrace it, you have to accept it as Law. You
have to enter into the most profound “consideration” of it-
Me . My Word is Me. And it incarnates Me in you.

DEVOTEE: Incarnates You.

AVATARA ADI DA: Your reception of My Word, your
response to it, conformity to it, conformity to Me through
it-My Word is Me. It Transmits Me to you. So it is
obviously, then, one of the suitable meditations for
devotees. And you in fact do this. Not only in things like
chant and song, but in recitations and study. Its all part
of your sadhana. Its part of sacred activity, then, as I
Said, not to be made holy and just worshipped, but to really
be combined with, to really use. Wear out the books, and get
fresh copies. But to just try to keep that pretty little
thing in good shape there-you know? [laughter]

If you go to any devotees house, and all their
books look nice, clean, and new, have them be spoken to by
the cultural department. [Beloved chuckles.] The
only ones of My books that are supposed to look unused are
the ones you do puja on in the Hall every day. Then you have
to respect that puja by doing the study, and not just the
reading, but truly give yourself up in “consideration” with
Me. And live by that Instruction. Thats how you prove to Me
that you are serious about why you and others, Daniel, said
you came to Me.

Ive always naively taken everybody seriously. So I
said and did everything thats supposed to be done and said,
naively expecting you all to practice it. Its been very slow
business, such that still, even to this day, almost
twenty-four years later, Im still talking to you about
unresponsiveness or deficiencies in practice that I was
talking to you about 2years ago, nearly a quarter of a
century ago. And remarkably Im talking to the same people
about it, some of them.

DEVOTEE:: Well, thats encouraging.

AVATARA ADI DA: Well, its true! [laughter]
Theres lots of ways to encourage you, you know. So what
about that 2years later?

DEVOTEE: Same people.

AVATARA ADI DA: Yes, talking to you about the . .

DEVOTEE: Same things.

DEVOTEE: Same limitations.

AVATARA ADI DA: . . . lowest level of limitations
in this Way, and not yet getting the thread of what the
profound practice is, and talking to you about that.

DEVOTEE: Nice side track.

AVATARA ADI DA: You all really responded to that
one. [imitating devotees in a ditzy self-absorbed
voice] “Oh, is He telling us were egos again?”


DEVOTEE: Beloved, I have a question. In the moment
of hearing, do you become responsible for the
self-contraction at every level that it arises?

AVATARA ADI DA: It only arises at one level, right
where you stand. And it is the root of all other signs of
self-contraction. So, you deal with it, you effectively
have already dealt with all of it. But not yet perhaps
altogether in the sense of dealing with it altogether.

DEVOTEE: Do you become responsible for the
self-contraction at every level of your being?

AVATARA ADI DA: To be responsible with it at every
level of your being is a different kind of a question. In
other words it refers to the extensions of the
self-contraction in all aspects of your life and experience,
whatever it may amount to. Of course you have to do the
sadhana in the context of all of those arisings. Hearing is
the means to do so, hearing and all the other aspects of
practice associated with it, and seeing. But you have to
bring those arms to it to see them themselves be
transformed. But in hearing itself and seeing itself, youre
already free of the bondage in some fundamental essential
sense, so that your combination with it becomes intelligent
and profoundly effective.

So relative to the expectation of outer changes,
you have to do the sadhana in those circumstances or those
contexts and have them be transformed. And that is certainly
a part of everyones practice, then, even from the

But its not that the purpose of the practice is to
transform and perfect all aspects of your apparent
personality. No, its rooted in egoity, infiltrated by it, is
the ego. So its not there to be perfected. You simply
conform it to your purpose of Realization. But it is
transformed in various ways in the process. You have to deal
with these arisings responsibly and feel beyond them. Of
course, I should also say that sometimes many such changes
can occur very spontaneously and very suddenly, and some
powerful transition in practice can be the basis for that or
arise coincidently with it.

So the body-mind must be purified sufficiently to
release energy and attention for “Perfect Practice”, but the
body-mind itself does not have to become perfect as a
prerequisite for the “Perfect Practice”, and cannot itself
become perfect anyway. It is Perfect only in its Inherence
in the Divine Condition. But its not in itself perfectible.
Its true, as considered in the Buddhist tradition:
Everything that arises is unsatisfactory and changing. You
cannot be satisfied with any conditional state or event or
conjunction, because it will inevitably pass. It will go
through changes. Your clinging to it, your search for it, is

And then an additional insight is that, in any
case, this self that is clinging to what is even changing
and unsatisfactory has no substantial separate existence as
a being. There is no such existing being as the separate
one. Rather, what you notice as yourself-as the basis for
your presumption of a separate, being a separate person-is a
conglomeration of arisings that are constantly changing and
do not amount to a permanent self. In other words, what is
conditional is conditional. But you are presuming a
permanent self somehow, or a maybe about it being permanent
at any rate.

But the more profoundly it is entered into-through
that there comes about, eventually, “Perfect Practice”,
which is not consulting the conditional events any longer.
And What is Located in the “Perfect Practice”, What is
Realized in the “Perfect Practice” is not a permanent,
separate entity. Its the same thing that in the Buddhist
tradition is called “Nirvana”, and various other words are
used-“Sunyata”, and so on. It is not separate and
separative. It is not the ego-the ego is just conditions,
ultimately an action as Ive shown to you. It is the Divine
or Nirvanic Reality, Self-Existing and Self-Radiant. Only It
is permanent -but the word doesnt even make sense. It is
uncreated, unborn, as it is said, unlimited, always already
the case. Nothing else is Reality. Nothing else is God. That
Which is to be Realized is always already the case.
Therefore, It is not any condition at all. Every condition
passes. No condition is always already the case.

What is always already the case? Youre not
interested in any happiness thats not permanent-in other
words, always already the case. What is the Happiness thats
always already the case? What is the Being that is always
already the case? What is the Consciousness that is always
already the case? What is the Energy that is always already
the case? Thats not found by seeking through conditions. It
is prior to them.

So it can only be Realized in place, by the
“radical” sadhana of going beyond self-contraction into That
from Which you are separating yourself, That Condition from
Which you are not truly separate, but which you mightily
presume youre separate from.

And how did I get into that? What were we
discussing earlier?

DEVOTEE: I was just wondering if-You were explaining
in the sense that hearing is an ongoing responsibility that
deals with whatever arises at whatever stage of

AVATARA ADI DA: Right. Hearing and seeing are
exercised in the Ultimate, finally conclusive sense, in the
transition to the seventh stage Realization-and Perfectly
seen, but Perfectly heard down to the last or first effort
that becomes the self-presumption-the separation between
phenomena and the Divine Condition, the un-Recognizability
of phenomena, because the Divine Condition is forgotten,
dissociated from.

Its not merely that you have lapsed somehow and
have forgotten, in vagueness, the Divine Condition. You have
deliberately done something. You have dissociated yourself
from It. It hasnt happened to you. The effects seem to you
to be just a happening because you forgot that youre doing
it yourself.

So separation from the Divine Condition is not
merely a presumption. Its an act. This is what you must
discover. Its not bad news, its good news. To understand
this, thoroughly, not merely to suffer it-thats not good-but
to understand and transcend it, and to have been Given the
means to make that discovery and use it, is one of the
obvious profundities of this Way, if you will use it
profoundly. So do so now-if you will.

Did you finish your questions, Brian?

DEVOTEE: I think so. I was also going to say that,
as You Spoke, I was feeling Your Mantric Power of Your


DEVOTEE: And I was realizing that it was being
registered at the level of the heart, that Your actual
speech vibration stimulated the entire heart area, and I
could actually feel that I was actually literally receiving
You at heart through Your Speech, because of Your Mantric

AVATARA ADI DA: Yes. Theres a reception of Me
thats very intense, often shows the sign of kriyas and so
on. Thats like getting hit by the first ripple. The most
profound reception of Me is at a very subtle, one could say,
level. Its barely a vibration at all. Its not a shaker. Its
a depth at the bottom of the well, the bottom of the pond.
So theres an initial feeling of Me, even in conjunction with
My Speech that can be very strong, but to use it most
profoundly you have to be able to feel it at an extremely
subtle and deep level, so it can be effective there too.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, Your Voice is like the ultimate


What else?

DEVOTEE: I was wondering, Beloved, I was just
feeling You somehow. Last night I was thinking about the
Threshold personality and what You Said about that, and how
You Install Yourself at every level of existence. And I was
just feeling last night, here in Your bodily (human) Form
Revealing Yourself as the Divine Person, that somehow You
are going to perpetually remain Alive at every level of
existence as this Very Form, as the Threshold

AVATARA ADI DA: Mm-hm. And therefore everything
and everyone. But that is so now .

And you can breathe Me also. My Breath is even a
subtler form of My Speech. So I can circulate this
Transmission by Speech, yes, actions of all kinds. But I
also do it every moment of Breath. Every Breath is a
Blessing Intention. I circulate it a very simple way through
the use of the Breath in association in the body. So in My
Breathings Im doing this Transmission Work, 2hours a day.
If I like, I can take thought to serve that purpose, or I
can speak to someone, or appear in front of them, have a
conversation with them, like this, or glance at them, just
let them look at Me, or feel them in some special way, or
think something without speaking it and move this
Transmission in all kinds of ways-Hridaya Shaktipat,
universal. So I am Breathing this cosmic domain itself. So
devotees by breathing Me can receive Me.

You have to link yourself to Me with every
faculty. Instead of being self-possessed with your
faculties, you must keep them on Me in Communion with Me and
forget content, agitation, and the self-contraction

So the breath is an important part of it. In our
conversations about Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga, I dont know if
Ive heard anybody bring up breath as a “consideration”. Of
course you know about it. Its part of your discipline in
practice to practice breathing conductivity. Somehow it
seems to be taken for granted, perhaps, or not allowed to
become profound enough. Devotees rather quickly have the
experience of-usually coming into one of the Halls or
whatever, if possible coming into My physical Company, or at
least a place uniquely Blessed by Me-and when you walk in
there, suddenly the air thickens, you breathe Me. I dont
think Ive heard any devotee yet say they havent had this
experience some time or other or even many times or even

In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, the speech and
breath and energy are basically words for the same

So by My Word-recorded or otherwise listened
to-yes, I Work this Transmission, but in every other kind of
way as well. And the Breathings you observe in This Body are
part of a cycle of motions that serve this Purpose, a
constant Yoga done far beyond This Body, but also This Body
is one with it, not dissociated from it at all.

So I make use of this possibility sometimes very
directedly through This Body, and in relation to
individuals. But I also Operate Beyond the body.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I keep feeling You as being the
whole room, and that like every movement You make, every
sound, every ripple, every breath is a Mantra. It is
like-because Youre touching the entire room, Youre touching
us in all kinds of ways.

AVATARA ADI DA: Yes. Thats why I find it
disturbing and so forth-I dont know if “disturbing” is the
word-but it is a disturbance when in a gathering like this
of very intensive “consideration” where Im Working in
various ways, Spiritually and so on, it breaks the circle
for people to be getting up and down, leaving the room or
coughing or whatever. Its something you have to put up with,
I guess, but its always something that requires a recovery,
all these intrusions, because as Brian was just saying, he
feels that I am the room.

Yes, I have established a form of My Presence here
that includes this group of people and Work with that while
we “consider” matters together. So you should be sensitive
to that and know that getting up and down or arbitrary
movements or even coughing is something you should control
as best you can, because youre aware of how it interrupts
the simplicity of the-and the unity of the-field of force
that Im magnifying for you here.

And if you are sensitive to it, one of the things
you can observe is that it does have a shape, something like
the shape of this room, as youre perceiving it, but expanded
beyond it also. And if you focus your eyes forward rather
than move them around and being distracted with them, but
keep them open, and observe the room as you can from that-in
that disposition, you can feel My Force-Shape as the
substance of this room with a very particular form, with a
unique kind of -D quality to it . . .

DEVOTEES: Mm-hm. Very. Exactly.

AVATARA ADI DA: . . . thats unusual, and with a
perimeter-since you cant gaze at it directly, a perimeter
that is full of light.

DEVOTEE: Golden.


DEVOTEE: Bright.

AVATARA ADI DA: And shaped, felt as a shape, a
force. I am Breathing that to you and Breathing in it. And
you can do the same, because youre in that Spirit-filled
form. So in a “consideration” such as this, I make use of
this possibility. I make use of this possibility by allowing
devotees to come for My Darshan or sitting in the Hall with
Me, or whatever. They have to be rightly attentive to Me
there to Locate Me. So thats the Yoga of the breath. Every
breath is breathing Me, Breathed by Me, breathing in Me-not
just air, then, or the gases in the atmosphere, but My
“Bright” Force, Which Pervades you and Encloses you. And
theres a thickness to It, and It fills the body when you
breathe It openly, down to the base.

As It presses there, you can feel the circular
nature of your thoughtless feeling state. You feel the
circularity of it in relation to the body, descending in the
front, ascending in the back-simple, open, relaxed breathing
of Me. [pause]

You see.


So, when I tell you about Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga,
the granting of the faculties to Me, self-surrendered, this
is what I mean-at least ultimately this is what I mean-about
the breath part of it, this using the breath in relation to
Me. The exercise of Communion with Me is one thing, but it
ultimately must become this breathing immersed in Me. Well,
when you are really breathing Me in the Spiritual sense,
with all the discipline that goes along with that, then this
purification process and this liberating of energy and
attention from confinement to the knots in the body-mind
begins in earnest. In other words, it becomes remarkably
more powerful than all your however many years of previous
practice, where you addressed, as was appropriate then, all
kinds of rather ordinary human things, and so on, made them
subject to the right orientation, right life. So its at this
more profound stage, level and beyond, where the deeper,
the internal part so to speak, is truly purified.

But its a Spiritual matter. You must “Locate” Me
altogether and experience Me in descent, Crashing down from
above. Give Me all your attention, your whole body for that,
all of your feeling, and breathe Me. Pass beyond the
self-contraction in your hearing exercise, Commune with Me,
be in that Samadhi, but be breathing Me all the while,
concentrated in Me. Then the Circulation of My Presence also
becomes associated with your Yoga. The principal part is the
“Locating” of Me in Communion with Me, but theres also this
breathing conductivity cycle that cooperates with My
Presence, opening the Circle to My Invasion.

Its not just a matter of working on yourself to
open it up. Its a matter of simply being given to Me through
the exercise of hearing and seeing, by attraction, by simply
breathing Me rather than working on yourself, you see.
Working on yourself is the self-knot in action again. Its
cooperating with Me, given over to Me, breathing Me-thats
what these Spiritual stages are about.

Then you must preserve My Presence in your
awareness by right practice, always releasing the self-knot
and thereby all of the accompanying knots, all the knots in
the body-mind: given to be purified by My Invasion.

So as that Yogic process of My Invasion begins in
earnest, you must get My Word, you must receive the Message,
you must know what you have to do to accommodate Me.

So theres not only physical sensations, there are
movements in the feeling, emotion, and in mind. Things have
to be purified, released, changes have to be made, or, it
may become uncomfortable, or more uncomfortable, or the
discomfort already there may continue, you see. You have to
deal with these things so that the purification can take
place, and I can pass further.

So I was talking to Damaya Ma a little earlier
about that and her recent experience.

So there are all these energy things in the body
that can be felt, but the in-depth part is just as
fundamental, coincident with it. You have to deal with all
the parts of it that are Revealed. So, you wont allow the
Invasion fully, you wont open up there, unless you change a
number of things, including your receptivity altogether and
your Contemplation of Me directly.

So its the deeper aspects, the subtler aspects, of
the patterning that you were previously observing more
grossly-its at that deeper level that it becomes purified,
by you cooperating with Me. If you feel Me, if you open to
Me-theres some constriction, some whatever, something that
has to be opened, and suddenly you experience various
emotions about it or dreams or some thoughts, something not
right, something thats preventing this opening, this
Invasion, so that to be purified youve got to change your
act, youve got to do something or other-there are many
levels to it. But its about being sensitive to Me
Spiritually, cooperating with My Invasion and noticing what
it is you have to do to be fully receptive , fully given
over to Me.

So its an even silent Instruction at that point.
You just have to stay involved in the depth of that process,
and noticings will occur.

You see the requirement being suggested.

So its not just working on yourself to try and
surrender. If you will see Me, you must “Locate” Me, you
must exercise hearing, moving beyond the self-contraction in
your Contemplation of Me.

What else?

DEVOTEE: Beloved, You were talking about
breathing You, and You were also Gifting us with that
realization as You spoke.


DEVOTEE: And I was feeling that sometimes it also
feels to me like You were Breathing me.


DEVOTEE: You were Breathing everything. Thats

(.1AVATARA ADI DA: Yes, and theres a realization
associated with that-well, you just suggested something
about its meaning. Its realization of Communion with Me, the
reality of it. It talks about more than the breath, then, in
other words.

DEVOTEE: Right. Its the dropping of the sense of
separation from You.

AVATARA ADI DA: Yes. Thats why the hearing
capability must be there-to really do that kind of sadhana.
Otherwise youd just be grappling with yourself trying every
this and that-sit up straighter, breathe a little deeper,
roll your head, you know. [Beloved chuckles.] What
do you do to receive Me then?

But if you remain always in that knowledge of
hearing, you can-you have the secret, the advantage, the
means, to actually do that. Then your breath becomes

And it can be so no matter where you are, what
youre doing. It must be so. You must become that kind of
proficient. You must intentionally do it. And if you have to
look normal in your position in the world, well fine, you
can still look normal- better than normal. People will ask
you “What do you do, you look so good”, you know. But you
dont have to turn into a fool, cant in fact. But
nonetheless, you can be engaged in this Yoga constantly.
There is no circumstance where you cant do it unless you
choose not to do it or believe you cant do it.

But the hearing exercise is a constant
capability. Its not lost. Its simply a matter of returning
to its true disposition in any moment, in that position
where you can simply open the hand, where you can be radiant
rather than contracted. In that radiance, you pass beyond
the self-contraction into true Communion with Me. Whereas
just gesturing at Me egoically, sort of locked with “Oh,
Lord, wont You please hand me a million dollars?” or
whatever, you know-you must relax beyond that contraction.
You must have the capability to do so. You must he radiant
in My Company by your response to Me, made by all the means
Ive Given you, moment to moment.

So you mustnt give yourself the excuse not to
practice. You can always, must always do so.

Are you about to ring that bell, Hal?

DEVOTEE: Yes, Lord.

AVATARA ADI DA: Anyway, we were talking about
matters of hearing and seeing and all kinds of great
matters. You all have been proposing yourselves in most
cases, I guess, to be .practitioners. And yet weve been
talking about things that go beyond that. But what is the
case with you all? Is all of this that Im Communicating to
you alien to you, . . .


AVATARA ADI DA: . . . or is it not not true of
you, or it is true of you, or what? In other words, should
we be talking about what comes after hearing or what comes
before hearing?

DEVOTEE: After hearing.


AVATARA ADI DA: But that would suggest that you
all have to have heard Me for us to have a fruitful
“consideration”. So if you insist that you’re not hearing Me,
I have to keep returning to a more ordinary conversation
about the this and that that precedes hearing. So do you all
have questions about those kinds of matters, or have you
heard Me? [pause] Hm?

DEVOTEE: Ive heard you, Lord.



AVATARA ADI DA: In the manner of what I call

DEVOTEE: Oh, well, no, no, I . . . [big

AVATARA ADI DA: What are you trying to say?

DEVOTEE: No, I guess what Ive been saying is that
Ive been hearing and really feeling what Youve been Saying
for the past two nights, and . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: But youre not saying youve heard
Me in the technical sense of hearing as Ive “considered”
with you.

DEVOTEE: No, well, maybe for a moment in the past,
but . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: Mm. Not now?

DEVOTEE: Not now. [Beloved laughs, and so do

AVATARA ADI DA: Absolutely fruitless to Teach. To
try and Teach is the ultimate absurdity. [quoting from
the movie Lawrence of Arabia ] “Im surrounded by cattle.
[laughter] If I had been posted to the dark side of
the moon, I couldnt be more isolated.” “Interesting?
Interesting. You wouldnt know interesting from a sows
belly.” Its just another line from the movie. I had to pin
it on somebody.

We were hopeful for a moment, but it turns out
its Carls lack of hearing that were addressing again.

DEVOTEE: Oh, Beloved, sitting here with You, our
common confession over the last two evenings is that as You
Speak of something, the sheer, as You Said, Mantric Force,
or Siddhi, of Your Communication Graces us with that
intuition of what Youre Speaking of. So as You Speak . .

AVATARA ADI DA: Yes, weve all agreed that thats
been happening.

DEVOTEE: . . . as You Speak of hearing in this
room, hearing feels true in this room, of the people in this
room, the people that are responding.

AVATARA ADI DA: Well, Carl was saying that right
now hes not hearing Me.

DEVOTEE: Well, yeah.

DEVOTEE: Yeah, but he doesnt know what hes talking
about! [laughter]

AVATARA ADI DA: Well, this is to be seen-well
have to take his word seriously for a moment.

DEVOTEE: Im not sure I even believe it.

AVATARA ADI DA: Well, well get back to him in an
minute. But does anybody else feel right now, at least in
this room, as Michael says, that youre hearing Me.

DEVOTEE: Yes, absolutely.


DEVOTEE: How could you not in this room?

AVATARA ADI DA: Anybody besides Carl feels theyre

DEVOTEE: Well, . . . [laughter]

DEVOTEE: I think hes the first one that was

DEVOTEE: No, I guess its hard for me to verbalize
how to explain it.

AVATARA ADI DA: Yeah, I get it, I understand. Its
alright, just keep on trying. Who cares?

DEVOTEE: Well, I feel that Im hearing as much as
anyone else! [big laughter]

AVATARA ADI DA: Well, that was worse than the
first remark! [more laughter]

Well. . . so, in general youre all feeling that
youre hearing Me, meaning what I mean by hearing. But do you
all commonly feel, or whoever, anybody feel that its part of
this unique circumstance in My Company, My Transmission to
you, such that when you leave the room and get up later
today or tomorrow or whenever, later today, you wont be able
to make the same confession, you wont be hearing Me, it wont
be true of you?

DEVOTEE: No, I dont feel that.

DEVOTEE: But I think thats a good question.

AVATARA ADI DA: Well, that is the question, you

DEVOTEE: Well, Beloved, through the Siddhi that You
Are, one thing I can . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: [in puzzled voice] “The
Siddhi that I Am”-where does this kind of point of view come
from? [laughter]

DEVOTEE: “The Siddhi that You Are”.

AVATARA ADI DA: Its like Im a something, and then
Im a something. Im two somethings. Im Me, and Im Who I Am.
[laughter] And its somebody other than you, whoever
was talking to Me, and-but what about it?

DEVOTEE: Well, what I was going to say was what I
noticed was that since yesterday . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: Since yesterday, yes.

DEVOTEE: I dont know if I noticed it-I think it was
in Darshan actually, and also here-that it just seemed like,
you know, kind of like a whole bunch of shit had been
removed since yesterday. I mean that has been really clear
to me.

AVATARA ADI DA: So you felt clear or purified of

DEVOTEE: My attention felt completely

AVATARA ADI DA: And what about this matter of
hearing? [pause] Hm?

DEVOTEE: Well, there was a point about a year ago
where it just spontaneously occurred to me-I wasnt
particularly thinking about anything-but I just felt every
cell of my body was in reaction to You, not that I wasnt
practicing or doing the things that I usually do, or
anything. And it was really clear to me that I had to make a
choice. I either had to surrender to You or actually just
live in that machine of reaction. And, you know, I guess it
was a few hours or something-I cant remember-but a couple
hours or something. And it was just clear to me that I didnt
have a choice, I just had to let go. And you know, I mean,
then that actually, you know, was the beginning point of
drawing me to come on retreat and be in Your Company.

And then the other thing that occurred before
that, which I mentioned the other day, about The Mummery ,
was that the clear communication of Who You Are altogether
just Crashed down through my whole body. I mean, it was one
of the times when I felt actually what You described as
ecstatic. And that-this is kind of funny-but the next day I
just marched into CSD [the Cultural Services Department
of Adidam] and said Im going to make an appointment to
go on retreat, and no matter what I say, I have to go. You
know, no matter what excuses I may come up with in the
meantime, dont listen to me-I have to go on that day.


DEVOTEE: It was a big deal.

DEVOTEE: Yeah, it was a big deal for me. And when I
came into Your Company, it was just so utterly Graceful. And
I think I had a lot of crying and things to do when I first
got there, and You Gracefully received all of that, and I
felt that particularly in the beginning. I just felt like
every word that I said to You, no matter what the content of
it was, that You just took it immediately to Yourself . .


DEVOTEE: . . . and did this-a great purifying Work
in relationship to Me.


DEVOTEE: And I would say probably about a month
before I went on retreat, I noticed this funny thing that
happened. It seemed like I sort of had lost my mind, that I
couldnt really think, I couldnt keep myself together.

AVATARA ADI DA: A couple days before retreat or

DEVOTEE: Before retreat, before I got there. And
what I noticed during the retreat, you know, especially in
relationship to just the complete Grace of the practice of
Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga-just being able to live that face to
face with You is such a Gift.


DEVOTEE: And what I was saying about my mind was
that what I started to just notice-it wasnt like I was doing
something-was that my play with You or my speech in
relationship to You was completely playful, which I never -I
mean, its not something I could conjure up. And I felt in a
certain way You drawing me out of my social personality.


DEVOTEE: And just allowing-there was, I guess you
would say, more of a freedom there in responsiveness to You
. . .


DEVOTEE: . . . and completely delightful. And
basically I felt the whole retreat, every single occasion in
relationship to You was a drawing, a further drawing me to
the heart.

I also observed during that retreat that any time
I made any kind of assumption about separation, like for
instance there was one gathering that I wasnt invited to out
of about thirty-five or forty [Beloved laughs] , and
immediately my first sense was I must have done something
the night before completely untoward or out of it or
something like that. And just the, you know, just the force
of the contraction of even that thought, you know, would
persist. But what I felt You were constantly-I dont know how
it happened, but I felt that, you know, once I went over
that waterfall, like I said, about a year ago-I felt like
Your Admonition to me was to just continue that

And what I found just in human play with You
during the retreat was that when I would see You again the
next time-the next Darshan or the next occasion-that that
delight was, through that simple practice that Youve always
Given me to practice altogether, I was restored to that
humor. Not through some effort I was making but just through
that gesture of surrender to You, that delight would always
be there. And it was just completely obvious to me that it
was my own turning that was preventing That Which is already
the case. So . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: This is a kind of a Way of Faith

DEVOTEE: Thats what it sounds like. I mean-its
interesting to me to hear You say that because for many
years I practiced in the Way of Insight, and thats
completely served me. But on my retreat, or before my
retreat, you know, you have to answer that question, “Are
you still experimenting [with the forms of the conscious
process] ?” And I thought I had finished the experiment
a long time ago. But on the retreat, it took more this
different form of just this simple surrendering to You, just
bodily, because You were there. It was such an incredible
aid . . .


DEVOTEE: . . . to me that thats what it turned

AVATARA ADI DA: What form of the conscious
process have you been using lately?

DEVOTEE: Well, [Janis laughs] its the Name,

AVATARA ADI DA: So you are still

DEVOTEE: I guess I am. [Janis laughs]

AVATARA ADI DA: You say “more”, so you must use
Enquiry sometimes or whatever.

DEVOTEE: Yeah, but I-well, actually this happened a
long time ago. I remember on retreat, not this last one but
one of my previous retreats, in the Hall I spontaneously
started just feeling this-it was kind of a Mantra, you know,
“Avoiding Me?”, meaning when I was observing the Murti, I
would be avoiding You. And so [she laughs] -this is
kind of funny actually. There was a very difficult period. I
actually described it a little bit to You in Hermitage,
after I had left [Hermitage] in . And I could
always feel that Mantra pressing on me, “Avoiding Me?”,
meaning You. And I think actually-thats how I felt the
practice of Enquiry, more than the actual words, just the
bodily-not bodily actually but altogether, up against . .

AVATARA ADI DA: Your description, though, is not
that of tacit Enquiry. Its of devotional surrender, Way of
Faith kind of quality, you see.

DEVOTEE: I guess there was a period where I thought
I didnt have enough faith. I was afraid I didnt have enough
faith. And it was a very difficult period, and its all been
about You drawing me . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: Yes. The whole description youve
given is the discovery of the Way of Faith as real practice.
It can take on a tacit form, not be particularly verbal all
the time, but as you say, you use Name Enquiry and such. And
the process as youve described it-that began to make a
difference for you-is the Way of Faith sign.

DEVOTEE: You know, I remember reading the
description when You first revised the description in The
Dawn Horse Testament of the Way of Faith. It was just so
beautiful, and you know [Janis laughs] .

AVATARA ADI DA: You didnt want Me to change the

DEVOTEE: Oh, no, I did-no, it was superior.


DEVOTEE: I think she was saying that the words
were beautiful but she didnt think that it was having that
much to do with her.

AVATARA ADI DA: Yeah? At that time?

DEVOTEE: Yeah. Definitely. The only other thing I
wanted to thank You for is You calling me to serve You
intimately, because there are several things about that. One
is I feel that from the retreat, you know, the Gift You Gave
me of that time to concentrate in the practice of
Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga. I felt like You inviting me to serve
You personally was taking that and bringing it into life.
And its just such a wonderful circumstance in which to feel
through my service and Contemplation, so directly, how Youre
affected, . . .


DEVOTEE: . . . and Im drawn to that.


DEVOTEE: Its completely wonderful.

AVATARA ADI DA: And what about hearing?
[Janis laughs.]

DEVOTEE: Wasnt it answered?

DEVOTEE: Yeah, but that was for the introduction.
[Janis laughs.]

AVATARA ADI DA: Well, you said all those things,
and what about the matter of hearing altogether?

DEVOTEE: Well, what I feel about it is that I feel
like, due to the last year, but also in these last two
evenings, meaning last night and tonight, I just feel this
constant drawing to You, and I feel [pause] -I think
what Im feeling the most is You are Great, but just Your
Great Help, and I feel like thats [pause-she starts to
cry] -I feel thats all I need if I will truly use

AVATARA ADI DA: Mm-hm. And what about hearing

[Janis and others laugh.]

DEVOTEE: Relentless Grace, Lord.

DEVOTEE: I think Youre going to have to tell

AVATARA ADI DA: Michael seemed to be saying a
little while ago something about, in this particular
circumstance he feels he hears Me, suggesting that maybe
outside it not . And then when you started to speak, you
start talking about a process that began some time ago and
not in this circumstance. And are you trying to say about
that, that that is a sign of hearing in you, truly, not just
in this moment but otherwise? Or are you just telling us
about yourself and wondering what we think about it?

DEVOTEE: Thats what I did with the CSD people.

AVATARA ADI DA: The who people?

DEVOTEE: CSD. They called me in the middle of the
night a couple nights ago. And I said, “Look, you know, Ive
had millions of these interviews with all kinds of people.”
And they wanted to like set up this group of these people.
And I said, “Well, whos going to decide what to say about
people?” And they said, “Well, I dont know.”

DEVOTEE: You guys are going to.

DEVOTEE: Yeah. So I felt bad, because I didnt
really want to go to this group. [Janis laughs.] And
Michael said its not going to go anywhere.

AVATARA ADI DA: A group to do what?

DEVOTEE: Decide whos hearing. [laughs]

AVATARA ADI DA: The “middle-class, boring people
who decided whether you heard or not” committee.

DEVOTEE: Yeah, right. So I didnt say that I didnt
want to go to that group, but I said, “I want to talk to
somebody whos supposed to decide these things.” So they
passed around the phone, because nobody wanted to talk to
me. [laughs]


DEVOTEE: So they put Frans on the phone.


DEVOTEE: To me, because he said hed gone through
all of this with You in Fiji, the discussion of hearing. So
I said, “Well, you know, I dont . . .”

AVATARA ADI DA: Thats why he thought he was
qualified to “consider” it with you, is that the idea?

DEVOTEE: I think thats why they put him on the
phone. So I just said, “Well, this is what I have to say.”
So I basically told them . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: What you just said. Youre not
going to repeat it. [laughter]

DEVOTEE: No. I was . [Janis laughs.]


DEVOTEE: So I said, “Well, think whatever you want
about it.”

AVATARA ADI DA: What kind of an attitude is that?
I mean, the culture has to work and examine people relative
to these transitions.

DEVOTEE: Right. Thats why . . . Yeah.

AVATARA ADI DA: So thats what you do.

Its not so much a matter of somebody deciding. I
mean a judgement has to be made of course, but its not as
cut and dried as that. Its a matter of, of course, examining
all the details of the persons practice. But apart from
that, its the “consideration” of My Word with you. Not
somebody presuming this and that and theyre going to make a
judgement. The two of you are supposed to “consider” My Word
relative to this matter of hearing. As I said, you talk
about the details of your practice, but this is the
fundamental thing, really relative to everything that has to
do with transitions. Youre supposed to “consider” My Word
within a group or face to face with somebody whos supposed
to “consider” it with you, some individual, and discuss your
practice from that point of view. And in the process, it
should become clear to you whether you have heard or not. If
the people talking to you or the person talking to you has
some doubt about it or wants some further expression from
you about it, fine. Then you have to communicate further,
but by further addressing My Word about it, not just
exchanging one-liners about it or presumptions of your own.
The judgement is made by Me , so you must apply yourself to
My Word. Then it becomes clear to you.

DEVOTEE: Well, thats why, Beloved, I thought Your
suggestion of an intensive was the right approach

AVATARA ADI DA: What the intensive is supposed to
be is a group of people who feel serious about taking on the
renunciate practice, and they have to be organized to do all
kinds of particular things that have to do with an intensive
for that purpose. So you obviously have to meet and study
together, and design study-have some have that
responsibility. Since you all study intensively, deal with
all the whatever-there-may-be-loopholes, this and that, in
your practice altogether. All of them are expected to take
on all kinds of special service that have to do with the
domain of culture somehow or other. They have to keep
accountable to one another and have these what we call
“reality consideration” groups with one another more
frequently than they might otherwise, get results from the
whole gathering, good news thats expected relative to the
institution, culture, community, and mission, so you have to
serve that somehow or other. So its an intensive of
preparation on every kind of level.

DEVOTEE: I understand why service is such an
important part of what Youre speaking about too, because one
of the things that was just really obvious to me is its
changed my conductivity altogether, you know, and required
much more, just everything being more synchronized in the

AVATARA ADI DA: Earlier I was quoting from
Shankara, the Shankara tradition. The first line, in that
part I summarized for you, says, “From the point of view of
the body, I am your servant”, speaking to the Divine Person.
And what does that suggest to you? Particularly in these
politicized times-the presumption of individuality,
self-serving individuality with some soft edges on it maybe,
that has a good will toward others-especially in these
times, people dont like the notion of being a servant. Even
people in service positions dont like the idea that its a
service position exactly.

DEVOTEE: They give it fancy names.

AVATARA ADI DA: Yeah. Like waiters, and such.
[laughter] Even if people are doing something that
looks like serving, they dont want to be called servants,
you see. So its considered sort of obnoxious these days to
even be associated with the whole idea of being a servant in
any sense whatsoever, unless its a servant to yourself. But
thats not the traditional Teaching. The traditional
Teaching, in whatever form, is counter-egoic in some

So Shankara, or whoever wrote these lines, has
suggested that the body itself-or from the point of view of
the body, or insofar as you are bodily animated-you should
be a servant of the Divine Person. To presume yourself to be
other than a servant of the Divine Person is egoity ,
dissociation from the Divine. All self-serving uses of the
body, then, have this color and are unsatisfactory to you,
if you notice. Its only in your surrendered, servant
disposition in relation to the Source that youre functioning
rightly and beyond the purposes of egoity. Everything is
dissociation and independence in the current view, you
see-threw away the old culture of unity, cooperation, and

So for some it may be a big deal to get to be a
servant, a real servant, someone who lives in service,
someone whos mastered by another. It may be not just
generally distasteful to you, but it may be particularly
-psychologically or whatever- distasteful for some
particular individual, and perhaps the crisis in practice
for such a one might be that he or she submits to be My
servant. Before that, you can Enquire of egoity and so
forth, but perhaps for you , resistance to being a servant
and all that that implies was what you especially disliked

DEVOTEE: Youve told me this before. [Janis

DEVOTEE: Its amazing.

AVATARA ADI DA: So some may presume, as Janis
did, that the Way that uses Enquiry and so forth was what is
appropriate for her-the Way of Insight. But that could have
been a preference not based on best self-understanding. So
it is experimental until you make the full right discovery
what your right practice is. And a preference early on, even
later on, may not be correct in determining which form of
practice you should take on. You have to go through some
aligning, transformative association with whichever form of
these practices you take on to have it prove itself to you.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I think this is actually one of
the signs Youve mentioned for the transition to level -that
the person might go from the Way of Insight back to the Way
of Faith.


DEVOTEE: And then connect.


What else about anything? What about hearing,

DEVOTEE: Were glad you like the intensive idea.
[Janis laughs.]

AVATARA ADI DA: Then afterwards you can all take
a vote and decide whether shes heard Me or not.

DEVOTEE: Oh, no.

AVATARA ADI DA: So, you are saying youve heard
Me, or are you saying you have not ?

DEVOTEE: Well, before yesterday, I would
have-well-I would have said no.

AVATARA ADI DA: Mm-hm. For what reason?

DEVOTEE: Because You said we would be absolutely

AVATARA ADI DA: Well, one must come to that
sureness, yes. But what was the basis for your lack of
sureness? What were you noticing about yourself or your
practice or whatever? [pause] Janis?

DEVOTEE: Well, one of the questions You asked last
night was if you could feel what it feels like all the
time-the self-contraction-then, you know, there wouldnt be
any reason why not to go beyond it.

AVATARA ADI DA: Mm-hm. Except you can feel it
less profoundly or more at a distance and so forth and not
really be dealing with it, because you dont stand in its

DEVOTEE: Right. And I . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: In other words, if you truly
locate the self-contraction in this Yoga of devotion to Me,
you simultaneously locate Me and discover the immediate
means, always available to you, for going beyond that

DEVOTEE: I felt in the last two nights that Youve
been Calling me-you know, like the first night I felt really
sick when I felt this speck of egoity in that process You
were leading us through, but whats occurring more now is
that, like I said, that drawing. I just feel that quickening
of that drawing.

AVATARA ADI DA: But in the hearing practice,
theres basically a single gesture, whatever its
accompaniments. Its a matter of standing in the position of
that act, that self-contraction, that knot, not just
experiencing it from some point of view outside it. And
directly feeling beyond it. So that becomes the basis of
practice once hearing is the case. Its a very direct
gesture. It may be accompanied by Naama Japa or
self-Enquiry, whatever, and conductivity practice-your whole
life of practice-but still fundamentally its this one
gesture every moment. Its not working on the
self-contraction from outside. Its standing in its
position-and you have the knowledge in that position-of

You can always make this gesture. You always know
what the problem is. Its this knot, that youre doing. And
you always can feel beyond it in Communion with Me. Theres
certain knowledge in it. This covers everything. This covers
the whole case. This was the seeker. This is the basis for
the seeking, the constant disturbance. Its the key to all of
it. Therefore, its the key to all the separate parts of your
egoic life, patterns youve developed. And they can likewise
be addressed from this hearing point of view, must be.

So thats hearing, that realized capability, and
always true, always available. And then you never leave that
knot position, except through Communion with Me. And you
should always be aware of that knot, that act, that
contraction that you are doing. And that will be your
principal experience until you do this act of opening the
hand, so to speak-enter into this Communion with Me and not
drop back. It becomes more and more profound, more and more
constant. So instead of noticing the self-contraction,
feeling beyond it, or however it works in your own case, you
see, instead of those kinds of routines, it becomes the
constancy of Communion with Me, Samadhi, just beyond the

So thats how hearing matures. It becomes
essentially constant Communion with Me. A taste of that is
so full you dont want to drop back. And you find out how to
enter into that Communion under all circumstances.

Anything else about that? [pause]

Relative to the hearing matter, you dont even get
to have the interview, though, unless you first prove your
bonafides, all the forms of practice intact, and a history
of doing so, and true Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga as a constantly
perpetuated exercise or act. If you cant prove that all of
that is intact, then there should be no hearing interview
further, unless maybe to discuss what hearing is all about
and so forth. But your own confession of it cant be taken
seriously without that basis to justify such a

And if that was all the case, then its not “Oh,
you dont have to talk about that anymore”, then the real
conversation can take place relative to this fundamental
matter. And it takes place by having My Word in front of
you, you and whoever youre discussing it with, applying your
own presumption about hearing to My Instruction about it.
And see if its proven in you.

And if it isnt yet proven in you, then the
interview can maybe serve you anyway by showing you
something more about why , something further to deal with
and so on, or some misunderstanding that enables you to get
further on with it is revealed-like Daniel telling Me about
the self-contraction as if it were an object or a sensation,
something he was apart from, and My talking about how that
is not the kind of communication that is associated with
hearing. Well, grasping that point can be useful.

Hearing is in the position of the
self-contraction. Its the knowledge that youre doing it, its
the knowledge what youre doing, so you can readily
relinquish it. But you cant readily relinquish it if youre
viewing it from some other position, or looking at it merely
in the context of some particular kind of reaction or
circumstance. It seems like a simple, straightforward matter
to Me.

Now that Ive figured it all out, whats your
problem? [laughter]

What else do you want to talk about?
[pause] Hm? [pause] Is there anything we
havent covered yet? [pause] Hm?

DEVOTEE: I thought You might like to ask somebody
else about hearing.

AVATARA ADI DA: Im asking everybody. Anybody else
got something to say about it?

DEVOTEE: Beloved, until You spoke last night, Id
never really understood fully what You meant by seeing it as
your own action, being in the place of the self-contraction.
I mean, Id heard it, but I hadnt really felt it with that
kind of clarity, and you could almost literally experience
it with You. And I feel like throughout the gatherings the
last two nights, its been a characteristic of somehow being
in the place of the self-contraction and feeling Your
Radiance at the same time, Given to you. So somehow I think
the last two nights have been a constant Demonstration on
Your part of what it is to sit in the hearing position.

AVATARA ADI DA: Are you talking about the Way of
Faith also?



DEVOTEE: I think so, Beloved. I was going to ask
You about that. I realized this . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: Your brief description suggests
it, I guess.

DEVOTEE: Ive been using Enquiry, but I noticed that
almost always, my spontaneous movement to You is just very
simple-Your Name and Contemplation of Your Presence and Your

AVATARA ADI DA: It covers everything thats
involved in the Way of Insight-self-understanding,
understanding of egoity-it covers all of the same things.
Its just a different asana, in some sense. But its about the
same thing. But what you just described, as Janis described
in her case, is a Way of Faith sign.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, theres also something about all
the drama that I had when I was in Fiji, as You said, in
terms of whether I would serve You, could serve You, submit
to You, to renunciate life in Your Company-all of those
things that I was going through in that moment. I realized
that somehow through Your Grace something profound yielded
in me to the point where I felt like I was completely
capable, even almost effortlessly, of submitting to You. And
I felt like You had Given me the Grace somehow to be able to
do that.


DEVOTEE: And actually become Your servant-and I
dont have any ambiguity about it-and, you know, be drawn
more and more to serving You and to feeling You. And I just
dont feel any resistance to it anymore . . .


DEVOTEE: . . . or to anything that it requires.

AVATARA ADI DA: Well, Michael was suggesting
earlier that the sense that hearing is true may be true of
you here in this “consideration” this evening and under
these special circumstances, but maybe its not true of you
otherwise. I thought that was an interesting angle on how to
“consider” this at the moment.

And what do you feel about it? What was your
experience today? Or what do you think is likely to be your
experience tomorrow or next week? Is it this profundity that
suggests hearing to you presently or do you pass into some
lesser disposition and not yet understand most

DEVOTEE: Well, I felt today was a continuing Gift
from last night, that there was no fundamental loss of that,
but to me-it just felt to me like a continuing-it felt like
You had so deeply imbued me with this Gift the evening
before that it continued.


DEVOTEE: You were there in the morning, Lord.


DEVOTEE: And the core action, the core gesture of
Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga seemed so obvious and so Gracious a
Gift from You. In some ways it felt like a re-Initiation or
a refreshment of what I felt when I first saw You, but a
re-establishment of it as the core of sadhana, moment to
moment, always.


DEVOTEE: And that was tremendously joyous . .


DEVOTEE: . . . and a release from the what You
described as the gesturing through efforts of attention, or
allowing attention to desensitize oneself to feeling the
self-contraction. It was a relief to feel relieved of that,
the necessity to do that.


DEVOTEE: It was creative to function. There were
some things I had to accomplish today, and instead of like
robotically doing it, almost by tendency was calling it
service, it was more like it was a sacrifice to focus
attention on the service at hand, because it was almost a
disturbance of the continued Communion with You that I didnt
want to disturb it that way. I didnt want to focus . . .

AVATARA ADI DA: Thats where you get to be artful
about it. When you have to confront this matter
continuously, then you find a way to be just exactly full in
your Communion with Me and yet function as you must. But you
also learn how to conserve it so you have less time you have
to spend doing such things. As much as possible you try to
do that.

DEVOTEE: I think you want to get very

AVATARA ADI DA: Mmm. [pause]

DEVOTEE: Beloved, one thing I feel like You
Initiated is a far greater depth in Communion with You. And
I feel like thats just the drawing, the constant drawing to
You, that quickens and opens and, you know, allows us to be
far more responsive to You. And I thank You for that


DEVOTEE: Its like You said, its only that
attraction that would allow one to choose to completely feel
the self-contraction. If one hadnt already been Baptized
with the feeling of Whats beyond that-without the Guru to
guide one, you know, you could never choose the right


DEVOTEE: You are the “Bright”, Lord.


DEVOTEE: When You sit there, You cancel all
doubt, all mind, all disturbance. So it would be kind of
almost amusing to speak to You, and yet theres such a
profundity being communicated in the silence.


DEVOTEE: A lot of the times it seems like when
one of us speaks to You, its almost an interruption of the-I
dont know how You characterized it earlier, but we were
speaking here why one wouldnt want to just leave here,
because Youre Working through the configuration relative to
the Energy-Field of Hridaya Shaktipat, really.

AVATARA ADI DA: Mm-hm. [pause]

Do you hear this sound? [Long
pause-spontaneous sounds of Darshan.]

DEVOTEE: Thank You, Lord. [pause]