THE “BRIGHTENING” WAY TALK SERIES
The Yajna Discourses of Santosha Adi Da (1995-1996)
A Mastered Life
A Gathering “Consideration” with Adi Da Samraj
Sugar Bowl Ski Resort, California
December 29, 1995
AVATARA ADI DA: Yes, if you really feel that knot, you
don’t want to feel it. Hm? But it is the ground of your
ordinary life. You try to distract yourself from it
constantly, through seeking and self-indulgence and whatnot.
But if you really find out about yourself, find this knot,
find what your real experience is, then you won’t want to
put up with that. It will oblige you to do sadhana, to feel
constantly more and more beyond it.
DEVOTEE: Beloved, I feel this. I feel this need to go
beyond that, what this illusion is, very strongly now. it’s
something that You Gave me this year.
AVATARA ADI DA: Tcha.
DEVOTEE: I feel that it’s such a profound vision to see
life as an illusion. The Beauty of What is other than that,
you know, is just Shining more and more to me.
AVATARA ADI DA: Mm-hm.
But to Realize It you must utterly relinquish your
self-position. So that doesn’t make life a negatI’ve. That
just means that thats what life is about. Life is
inherently, by Law, sadhana, God-wardness, going beyond
Generally, people don’t seem to know anything about that.
So by Grace you may become aware of it, and no longer be
willing to be distracted by your cover-up, to keep yourself
somehow or other unaware of it and becoming very, then,
superficial, peripheral, in your mind, your body, your
feelings. But all the time you’re motivated by it. you’re
always seeking something or other. You even forget what the
hell you’re seeking. Or in one moment or other it’s this,
that, or the other particular thing, but always avoiding the
knowledge, the discovery, of your own action that is
producing all of that.
So it is a Grace to find it out. But it is not in itself
Graceful. In other words, it’s not a mere pleasure to find
this knot, you see, if, having found It out, you must do
sadhana. Otherwise, well, maybe youll forget a little bit
again by getting very superficial, but youll gI’ve up the
opportunity to deal with it.
DEVOTEE: Beloved, I feel that everything in the world is
about that. That is all it’s about, is avoiding that.
AVATARA ADI DA: Avoiding this knowledge of this knot. The
whole worlds avoiding this knowledge of the knot.
DEVOTEE: Everything that I’ve done, even in Your Company
and the practice that You’ve Given us, I’ve had to come to
see that everything I do, everything I do, everything I do,
AVATARA ADI DA: Mm.
DEVOTEE: … is intentionally keeping me from feeling
that and going beyond that.
AVATARA ADI DA: Well, truly, you’re only willing to feel
that knot that motivates you when you simultaneously,
Gracefully, discover What Transcends it and are given a
Wisdom that communicates itself to you so that you know how
to go beyond it. In other words, individuals will
automatically dissociate from this depth unless they can
somehow come to terms with it through the Graceful discovery
of What Transcends it and the finding of Wisdom to deal with
So when all those things coincide, and all of a sudden
you find you’re able to feel this thing that motivates you,
this knot, this disturbance, because you know that theres
something you can do about it, then there is the What to
Realize thats beyond it.
But still the sadhana is a matter of actually dealing
with this dis-ease. In other words, the religious life, this
Way in particular, is not about consolation merely and
distraction and so forth, in the conventional sense, or
ego-supporting sense. The process, moment to moment, goes
beyond the self-contraction, particularly as hearing
awakens. Thats when there is most profound understanding,
knowing of this self-contraction, and that it is your own
activity. But even the sadhana from the beginning is about
going beyond this knot and not avoiding it through
conventional-mindedness and consolation and such.
So the actual process is to stay in place, in this place
of separate self, surrendering to Me, to the point of
self-forgetting Communion with Me, true going beyond it.
it’s that from the beginning, not merely after hearing. Even
from the beginning it is so. But you have to understand that
thats what the sadhana is about, or you will miss the point
and think the religious life is about consolation or mere
behavior and so forth.
You are to stand in that position of that knot, feeling
your own dis-ease, motivation.
So once you truly hear Me, once you get the taste of all
of this, you will not want to delay the course. Everybody
has their own manner, and the imperfect qualities of the
body-mind in it’s adaptations, so everybodys sign in the
course is different. Some may be, in their depth, apparently
more a renunciate than others and so on, or more
intensI’vely involved in all the aspects of practice than
some other. If theyve truly heard Me, they all practice from
the same disposition and would not delay the course.
it’s just like if you’re ill, you don’t want it to last.
Maybe sometimes you don’t mind feeling a little woozy, a
little sniffly, and hanging around in bed all day. But if
you’re really sick, you don’t want it to go on. Well, to
hear Me is to be really sick, you see. [Laughter.]
it’s to get really sick, at the same time really well
altogether and knowing what to do, but otherwise really
sick, really in touch with the ego-act and it’s result and
it’s disposition and so on. And you do real work with it,
because it’s such an urgent matter. You don’t want to be
sick anymore. Thats how sick you have to be, in other words,
to have heard Me, because it is a profound motivator, a
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