Have I Said It?
Note to reader:
As a member of Adi Da’s (then Bubba Free John’s) community from about 1973-1975, during which time I lived for nine months in Persimmon, the sanctuary where he lived. My service was to create an index of his early books. I found these writings to be compelling, along with some of the outrageous talks that have not found their way into print. Around his birthday in 1975 (to the best of my recollection), Adi Da was planning on moving with a small group to Hawaii. For that occasion, I arranged a selection of his compelling words by topic (mostly selected from his books) and hand-wrote them in a blank book for his enjoyment. As far as I know, nothing ever came of that compilation. That became Book One of two parts, the second of which I completed some time thereafter. Now through the Internet, I make both parts available to interested readers. These blank books (I made a copy for myself) have been sitting on my bookshelves all this time, and after Adi Da’s passing, it occurred to me that this compilation would be very useful to many readers.
Enjoy,
Ed Hirsch
presenceofone@yahoo.com
Ashland, Oregon
Chapter 11
“I” Am the Body
In your enlightenment,
When you are happy as the
body,
When you are whole body
attention
In every moment,
There is a completely different kind of
force
That you may notice.
It is a filling, descending
force.
And since you are the body
entirely,
You are completely submitted to this
event,
And may observe it.
It is the same as this loving,
The same as this
Enlightenment.
It is the sense of this fullness or being
filled.
At the same time it is infinitely
radiant.
And this force is the one that transforms
us.
In that process there is a profound
rest,
Or ease, in every moment,
That keeps the whole body in
touch
With its totality, its depth.
I am the body
In my Enlightenment.
I am it.
I am not mysteriously
Somehow connected to it.
I don’t originate in it in any
way,
And anything that’s me
Is not within this,
But is this body.
“me” is not within the body.
“me” is some way that the body
has
Of referring to itself.
Me, I, the subjective
reference,
Is not somebody within at all.
All this subjectivity
Is the way the body has
Of accounting for itself.
That does not mean that
Subjectivity survives the
body.
This body is it.
This is the mystery, this
body.
You must completely become this
body,
Allow it.
It is you.
You are not the ghost within
it.
Ask “who am I?” and you end up in
mystery,
And you have only discovered
that
“I” means nothing more than the
body.
It is a convention the body
uses.
Body is what “I” is about.
This body is consciousness,
And the mind is the world.
The body is not what we think it
is,
It is Consciousness.
It is not a matter
Of subjectivity at all.
When you know how wonderful that
is,
This world is good enough.
When you can become completely
mystified
By your consideration of it,
You have no need
For any yogic or spiritual practice at
all.
You simply need to remain
Alive in the world,
At play in it,
Completely aware
And available in your
attention.
In your ignorance, everything is
free,
Including attention.
If you do not know what the body
is,
Then you are obviously not in control of
it
In some external way to it,
You are nothing other than it.
The reason we cannot know what anything
is,
Is that we cannot become other than it,
at last.
We cannot differentiate
ourselves
In order to view its
existence.
In our ignorance this can be
accepted,
Because we do not have a position to
defend.
There is nothing within.
If you are not a something
That is within the body
In the first place,
You cannot be separate from it
Or anxious about its death.
It is my wisdom that makes me
peaceful,
Not all these tickets to
eternity.
That’s what your Enlightenment
Is all about.
At the level of the existence of
things,
We are not distinguishing ourselves at
all.
We are not other than them.
“I” is simply the body.
We are undifferentiated
In our awareness of one
another.
These two me’s becoming flesh.
That is what we submit to
In our loving.
To become exactly these bodies
only,
But not to exclude anything.
Not to be some ghost within,
But to be completely incarnate
By loving one another.
That’s what we are doing.
“I” am the body”
Is not some sort of
Mortal confession at all.
It’s an enlightened
confession,
A confession of ignorance of “I” and
body,
Not an expression of your
ordinary,
Fearful, mortal,
different-from-the-body,
Self-indulgent point of view.
That is not what “I” am the
body”
Means at all.
In your enlightenment,
It is a completely liberating
Realization of the body.
“I” is everyone.
“I” is the universe,
Or all things,
The process itself speaking.
But this is what you must see.
You must consider it.
I am the body altogether,
You see, like a lover.
You must be initiated
Into this matter of your
loving,
Because you are all so frozen,
So loveless.
The body must
Relax from its contraction of
“I.”
The body becomes glorified,
Its energy becomes
transformed.
We do not need
All that technical awareness
To go through this process
Of glorification or spiritual
transformation.
It occurs naturally in our native
condition.
I am that whole process,
I’m not other than it.
I am not viewing it
From a position
That is other than it.
The failure to be bodily
present
Brings a halt to the process.
We are not relaxed
In our enlightenment,
So the process is at a halt.
Subjectivity brings a halt
To the body’s process.
It is a form of contraction,
A way of keeping everything
Essentially as it is.
When “I” am the body,
All these contractions cease.
When “I” become the body
altogether,
I cease to be in an anxious
Relationship to it.
I have come to complete rest
In what it is altogether.
“I”am the body”
Is a confession,
An assumption on the basis
Of the deepest consideration
That you must know,
Must assert,
If you are to be happy,
If you are to be free.
On the basis
Of this whole consideration,
Not just the idea in saying it, you
see?
Consideration is the key.
That is what people should be
into.
And that is what spiritual practice
is,
Essentially.
All the rest of it
Is nothing more than
Keeping your life together
In practical ways.
When you realize
You are nothing but the body,
You are Conscious,
You are Consciousness.
Consciousness is body.
The “I” is the body,
But the body is consciousness.
All of this realizing
Is in Consciousness,
And it is clear
That the body
Is itself Consciousness
And not other than that.
And what the body has to be
To be Consciousness
Is a marvel to us.
How mad it is.
There is no consciousness
inside.
Every hair is thinking,
Not doing a process of
thinking
Is thinking.
This thinking is all body
itself.
There is nothing mysterious
About saying “I.”
It is very ordinary.
It is the body.
Understood in this way,
It is free,
Because there is no “you”
Apart from the body
To be worried about that.
It is completely free of its
implications.
It has no implications.
It is just what it is!
You can see how glorious it is
Because of all you can
consider
About the whole affair
This profound mystery
Of our being here at this
moment.
The body is the truth of it.
You do not know what it is,
It is delightful madness.
There is so much to consider.
But because I’m already
delighted,
I need nothing!
And all of it is somehow
summarized
In this instant.
The whole pattern is obvious
If you are free in your
consideration.
All patterns become obvious
By the movement of attention
only,
Not any gesture of thinking.
The pattern is there first,
And thought is its way
Of organizing itself.
So the truth is in universe
itself.
Attention is its gatherer.
It is a paradox.
Truth is pattern, not subjectivity at
all.
It is exactly as it appears to
be.
Thinking is a way of
Making sense out of it,
But it is not the truth of it!
It is not a matter
Of ever coming to the point
Where you have figured it out.
You are already free in it,
And unburdened from anything
You find it,
Because you do not know
What it is in any case.
You are a fool
At your leisure,
Like me.
Having considered everything,
I have not come upon
Anything of consequence.
What is the difference
Between the condition
That you may sense in yourself
Now, at this moment,
And a completely liberated,
Eternally happy condition
Altogether as the body?
What keeps you
From being completely
Confessed in the form
Of your own body,
Which is you?
Why can’t you be
Radiant as the body?
Why do you have to
Have some sort of
Suspicious connection to it,
As if you’re in hiding
From the body?
What body parts are
You suppressing,
Or in conflict with?
Sexuality has to be
Completely acceptable
To the body altogether.
Perhaps you’re in
Mental agreement
With your sexuality.
But not in bodily agreement.
You must feel the body.
The Heart must be open,
Radiant.
It is the principle
Of the whole body’s radiance.
Why isn’t the Heart radiant?
Why isn’t it open?
Because of this conflict
With the body,
With its vital form,
With its desiring.
It is as if
You’re afraid
That if you are Radiant
And simply happy
As the body,
You’ll do something
With this vital
That is not right.
It will be out of your control
In some way.
And you’ve been taught
To be afraid of it
Or to be in control of it.
I know you can keep it
together
If you contain yourself,
If you make the body rigid.
But only when you are
Committed to the body
In your desiring,
Will you allow the body
To express itself.
If love,
Radiance,
Is not your presence
Here altogether
Then you are
Constricting that principle
Vehicle,
The center of the body.
I know that everyone,
As long as they live
With any kind of
Communicative ability with
others,
Knows what it would be like
If in this moment
They changed
From whatever habit they were
into,
And worked and felt
Completely,
Radiantly happy.
In other words,
They could integrate the body,
Make it single and happy,
And be happy.
But they’re busy going through
All the complications of life
bodily,
Playing the game.
But you do not have to go
Through some routine
Of liberating yourself
From the body.
The body knows
What its happiness is.
You can revert to it.
I don’t have to tell you
“do this with the heart,
Do this with the navel.”
I don’t have to tell you
Anything about that.
Just look and feel
Radiantly happy altogether
With your whole body.
You want some
Subjective enlightenment.
But you know what it is
To be happy.
You do not have any
Information about it,
And you do not know
What it is in any case.
But you have certainty
In your being
That this happiness
Is your natural state.
Be Radiant
With the whole body,
As the whole body,
Including all of its
So-called subjectivity.
You do not want
Any philosophy.
That’s it!
At any moment.
That is total enlightenment
In the body.
Just do it!
You are not going to
Get any more proof of it
Than you now have, either.
No one will convince you of
it.
You always suppress it
In the moment.
You know
That this is
Your natural state.
And in that condition,
You are capable
Of making judgments
That are sane.
The body will immediately
Reflect that assumption
Of happiness.
You feel with your head.
You stop thinking.
You stop crumpling the
mid-brain.
When you feel with your head,
You don’t concentrate!
When you are just being happy,
You do not do anything like
that.
The navel relaxes.
All the yogic signs appear,
The energies find their proper
place.
You do not know
What it is!
It is there naturally,
You do not turn it on.
It is the illusion of the
body,
This happiness, you see?
When you become the body,
Then you can become happy.
No subjective information
Changes it.
That is the body’s
Inherent wisdom,
That this is your natural
state.
It is a spiritual state.
It is the spiritual state.
Can you just be happy
All the time,
Be willing to submit
To that discipline,
But do it completely in every
moment
Don’t worry about what it looks
like.
It is a good practice.
I do it.
I do not have any choice
But to do it.
It is the mood
Of my whole body.
Happiness. Blissfulness.
It is obvious to me.
And “I” am no longer
At war with the body.
I am no longer a something
That could be at war with it.
I am it altogether.
It appears like the shell
around
The snail, “I” have no technique to
create it.
Happiness is inherently
The condition of the body,
Without the least contraction
Of the Heart.
Now you may still be trying to do
it,
But you know what it would be
like
If you looked and felt
Completely happy at this
moment.
You always know it,
Even when you are trying to do
it,
Looking for what it could be
somehow.
Consider it for a moment.
You do know, you see?
But it’s not a technical thing
That you do.
You instantly know what “I”
mean.
Well, that is enlightenment
then,
In a way.
That is realization as the
body.
This should be an ordinary
obligation
In your enlightenment:
Instead of all the other things you
do,
Be completely happy
Under all conditions.
Completely happy.
You do not know what anything
is!
Be completely happy therefore!
Let the body work it out!
Then do what you do in this
mood,
With this happiness,
With the entire body.
You can do it, can’t you?
You can be completely happy,
Completely happy in this
moment!
It’s not just a mood either.
Be completely happy!
You already know how happy
You would be if you were
Completely happy.
You already know it!
So be it!
There are many messages in your whole
body.
This is the one message you’re not
responding to.
You are too busy with “I.”
Don’t be busy with “I.”
Be busy with being happy.
It is obviously right, isn’t
it?
Well, can we agree to do it?
You are all reluctant to be
Absolutely happy.
You want to go on with
struggling.
You do not want to be happy.
After enlightenment, what does it look
like?
You are completely happy as your
body.
Be happy with your genitals,
With your navel,
With your heart.
Be happy with your eyebrows,
Be happy with your whole head,
Be happy with your hands and
feet,
Be happy with your teeth,
Be happy with your eyes,
Be happy altogether.
And you are better than
Philosophers then.
You are like lovers
Rather than those
Who have argued themselves
Into trying to love!
Have I Said It?
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