The Incarnation of Love – Adi Da Samraj





 


Table of Contents


CHAPTER 10

Rather Than Struggling, Turn to Me

SRI DA AVABHASA: In the instant when reactive states of
mind, emotion, and body arise, then desires, motivations,
and obsessive fascinations also arise, high and low, as
methods of relief from the problems and tensions of the
body-mind. Such is the origin of egoic “self-possession”,
temptation, and “sin”, which means to “miss the mark”. The
reactive and independent body-mind is turned upon itself,
and so it avoids or “misses the mark” of all relations –
with all others and with Me, the Incarnate Divine
Person.

In the Way of the Heart, the mature and truly human
individual is able to inspect and understand this cycle of
reaction, egoic “self possession”, and tension-release, in
his or her own case as well as in the case of others.
Because he or she is My devotee, such an individual does not
indulge the egoically “self-possessed” sense of dilemma, nor
does he or she indulge the tendencies that automatically
arise to relieve him or her of the self-contraction. My
devotee only observes the whole pattern in every moment, and
so resorts to none of it. My devotee yields the egoic self
instead to feeling Contemplation of Me, in every instant of
self-contraction, or dilemma. My devotee always by-passes
the ordinary destiny of problems and solutions. My devotee
abandons the problems and solutions of the reactive and
independent body-mind in moment to moment
feeling-Contemplation of Me.

This is the practice of My devotee-always to meet the
Mark. Therefore, My devotee remains creatively effective,
whole, essentially simple, and utterly free of the illusion
of separation from Me, or from What is Real, Divine,
Love-Blissful, and Great.

If you are making an effort to overcome one or another
aspect of your egoic self in any moment, you are not
practicing the Way of the Heart. Whatever characteristics
you notice in yourself at any moment your anger, your
lustfulness — cannot be transcended by noticing them and
then making a great effort to overcome them.

You may experience a basic sense of anger, for instance,
every day of your life. The Way of the Heart is not to
observe yourself to the point that you notice you are angry
all the time and then you make every effort and use every
aspect of My Wisdom-Teaching, interpreted from your egoic
point of view, to somehow rid yourself of anger, or to be
happy rather than angry, or even to be just pleasant rather
than angry. Such effort is not the Way of the Heart. Such
effort is the convention of the un-Enlightened paths. It is
the natural sign of the ego, or the conditional individual
without Divine Self Realization. The sign of the Way of the
Heart is feeling Contemplation of Me, and, thus and thereby,
of That Which already Transcends whatever limitation you are
observing.

Rather than struggling with anger, Contemplate Me. Rather
than trying to rid yourself of anger, give Me your
attention. If you do, you will naturally observe that anger
passes in that moment, and then in the next moment.
Ultimately, it will be washed from you altogether.

* * *

The psychiatric point of view attempts to locate events
that occurred early in life and that have had an effect on
one’s psychological disposition thereafter. In most cases, a
perception rather than an actual event caused the reaction.
In any case, freedom from reactivity is not a matter of
remembering an incident from the past but of relocating
one’s emotional capability in present time, so that you can
be responsibly emotional, or feeling, in your association
with the Divine, with the universe, with all the relational
factors of existence.

Recontacting the emotional force of the body-mind is
essential to the development of the Spiritual process, and
likewise it is essential to the regimen of emotional
healing. Therefore, if shocks occur in the life of your
child, or in the life of anyone, you must introduce the
nurturing, intimate quality. Help the person to feel beyond
the shock by re-attracting his or her emotional force when
you notice it is becoming depressed or reactive.

One is a growing personality one’s entire life, and
therefore one should live in a culture of elders, a culture
of wisdom, in which everybody is treated as a growing
personality, one’s reactions are observed, and one is drawn
out of them. When you notice that an individual has been
startled and made reactive by something that may have
intruded upon him or her, you must learn how to reattract
the person – adult or child – physically, mentally, and
emotionally into the relational environment, the universal
pattern of existence.

That someone has become involved in a reactive mode is
not an absolutely negative event. Simply notice it and
re-attract the person to relationship. Every individual is
in a moment of growth. As beginners in the Way of the Heart,
you people are not finished. Whatever your chronological
age, you are not yet truly human adults. As a matter of
fact, you are frozen in levels of reactivity that belong to
the first, second, and third stages of life.

The community of My devotees must know how to introduce
cultural circumstances that will draw an individual’s
fundamental energy and attention, body and mind, from the
field of reactivity and that will reintroduce the reactive
personality into the continuing pattern of growth. Growth
does not end. There is a summation of growth in the seventh
stage of life, which is Revealed and Given by Me, but until
that time one is involved in a process of growing as an
individual, of adapting to further stages of association
with the phenomena of existence.

The process of dramatization must be noticed by the
elders of the culture of the Way of the Heart and by the
force of the general community of My devotees. The factors
of reaction, contraction, and egoic “self-possession” that
have been introduced into an individual’s life and that have
inhibited the person’s growth and adaptation at particular
stages of life must be observed. On that basis, there must
be the artful introduction of cultural influences that
attract the individual out of the states of reactivity.

* * *

Reactive emotions and inappropriate behavior in general
are secondary symptoms of a primary frustration. What is
being frustrated is intimacy, or life-positive, associative
energy. Thus, you cannot deal with the secondary, reactive
emotions directly, as if they were the point. What the
person is actually suffering is the point, and it is what
must be addressed in him or her. A circumstance must be
provided wherein the primary emotion of love can be chosen
and expressed in any moment.

It is not just that mind or thought must cease to bother
you, but the whole affair of your life must change. However,
your life does not change, as you begin to realize, through
the hard knocks of trial and error, by your trying with all
your strength to manipulate it into something different,
manipulating mind, emotion, body, energy. Manipulations do
not do it, not even mystical Yogic manipulations, or
religious and Spiritual manipulations. None of it works.

What does transform a reactive life is the heart-felt,
devotional response to Me, the Incarnate Divine Person, Who
is your Real Condition, the Divine Self-Condition of the
heart and of the whole body-mind.

* * *

The secret of living with children, as with all human
beings, is that everybody stays happy, ecstatic, full of
pleasure. If you can find the pleasure or the free attention
in a child, then you can redirect him or her. But if you
confront the aberration that is present in the moment, the
child will not come out of it, because he or she has a
ritual to perform. And it is the same with adults.

Therefore, the secret of truly human life is to live in
the Happiness of Satsang with Me. Such Happiness is the
responsibility of My devotee. The secret of living with
others in the culture of the Way of the Heart is to locate
the free attention and essential Happiness in them and in
yourself and to redirect them to their sanity by that
means.

* * *

In the Way of the Heart, anger is not transcended through
suppression, nor is anger transcended through release. Anger
is transcended through feeling in relationship, first in
relationship to Me and then in relationship to others and
the world. Therefore, when someone is angry in the community
of the Way of the Heart, you must constantly deal with the
person’s primary emotion of relatedness, or love, and
enhance that emotional sensitivity in the person, rather
than dealing problematically with secondary reactive
emotions.

* * *

The Oriental defense simply and thoroughly “considers”
and understands the energy represented by an opponent, and
deals with the energy that is in the opponent in such a way
that one does not necessarily win but the conflict is
transformed. The Western way is to see the angry other and
to become angry and to become involved in an immediate
confrontation. The Eastern way is to transcend anger
altogether and simply study the opponent and constantly step
aside from the blows. It is to dance with the other by not
becoming the opponent of the other. When you enter into
dance with the other, the energy is transformed.

The dance that is suggested is essentially a moral
gesture, in which self-transcendence is the mood of one’s
relationships altogether. There are very few incidents in
which any confrontation is appropriate.

* * *

Change your way of action, and the subjective dimension
of your existence will change naturally. The born condition
precedes all subjectivity. When you are un-Happy, you want
to manipulate your subjectivity first – your feelings, your
thinking, your conceptions, and your feeling-conceptions.
You want to change them before you will change your way of
life. You want to be free “inside” before you will love,
before you will act differently.

You must act differently first, and not be concerned that
the feeling and thinking aspect of the body-mind remains
full of tendencies. Do not be concerned about them. They are
just the signs of the old way of living. You must
Contemplate Me with feeling devotion and then act in love,
with energy, with life, in all your relations, in your
disposition moment to moment, under all conditions. You will
observe in the midst of such action that the subjective
dimension is also gradually penetrated and transformed. Its
negativity, its reactivity, becomes unnecessary

As My devotee, you either change your action through
feeling Contemplation of Me or you do not. You must begin to
do it. There is nothing more that can be said, nothing more
convincing than that. You simply must begin to do it. As you
begin to do it, the vulgar disposition of your internal life
and your subjective tendencies will continue. You must not
be concerned about them. Tendencies are only the signs of
your old way of living. Let them pass. Live differently now.
Love. Serve with feeling. Put your attention on My Argument.
Be transformed by the hearing of it. And act differently.
The new subjectivity will follow. Subjective changes,
internal changes, emotional and mental, will follow.

Be My devotee and feelingly Contemplate Me. And on that
basis, start to act differently. Stop presuming the
separative position. Stop being angry and sorrowful and
fearful in your relations, and bring energy into them. Be
happy in them. Be enthusiastic in them. Bring life to all
beings. Bring life to the tree. Bring life to the doorknob
and to Me! And you will see your subjective life changing,
over time. It may remain completely wretched for 25,000
births. Do not be concerned about it.

* * *

The father-force makes the demand, frustrates you, evokes
the capability in you to overcome an obstacle, to deal with
yourself, deal with what is difficult, and move into new
areas of experience and growth.

* * *

Practice of the Way of the Heart is all that is
sufficient and necessary. If My devotee dramatizes the
ego-game, he or she should simply receive the discipline of
intensified practice. Absolutely! That is it! Without
fail!

If someone is having difficulty, “consider” what the
person should combine with his or her regularly expected
practice over the next three days or so. Interrupt the flow
of the person’s expectations for three days.

* * *

In the community of My devotees, every one knows what
every one else has the tendency to become (when
irresponsible) and the possibility to become (when
responsible). And all serve one another at the level of that
understanding. They all also know the functional character
and capability of each other, and they amuse and enjoy and
serve and employ one another at every appropriate level. But
responsibility for functional life must always be assumed
and demanded in the truly human community. When it is not,
that failure of responsibility will weaken the
community.

Spiritual life is a crisis. Therefore, spiritual life
does involve discomfort at times. When discomforts of the
crises occur, this does not mean that spiritual life is
failing, or that you are not good enough for it. Crisis and
discomfort must occur. The crisis, or turnabout, is what it
is all about. It is supposed to occur. You are supposed to
suffer the purifying events. You are supposed to encounter
resistance in yourself. You are supposed to discover all
kinds of garbage in yourself. So why should there be any
special resistance to it when it occurs? There may be
discomfort, and you may wish you did not have to go through
it. But apart from that, there is no reason why you should
be overwhelmed or completely disenchanted by the fact that
you are witnessing a period of intense conflict, crisis,
suffering, and disturbance. The more time you waste
identifying with all of that, the less sensitive you become
to the event. Therefore, Satsang, devotion to Guru, and a
loving and intelligent approach to all of life should
naturally increase or intensify in the periods of apparent
discomfort.

All of these apparently disturbed or crisis episodes in
this real process of spiritual life are themselves very
intelligent, very meaningful. They have a great deal to show
you. The more capability you have for passing through these
times, the more useful they become. The man or woman who is
really using this process can be passing through this crisis
almost continually, with great frequency and intensity, and
yet, like a soldier on the march, such a person never misses
a step, never reveals it in any peculiar, outward manner. He
or she continues to function, and apparently only enjoys
life. He or she doesn’t get involved in a whole drama of
upset. But in the beginning, when a man or woman is just
begining to pass through this kind of crisis in
consciousness, there tend to be reactions and breakdowns
whenever this crisis process begins. In the beginning there
is very often an emotional collapse, even a physical
collapse. There are these episodes that have an almost
psychotic quality to them. And it is during those times that
the person is wondering whether to come here or not and all
of that. But as one passes through these purifying episodes,
one begins to realize how one must function in terms of the
real spiritual process.

When this event begins to arise in the mature disciple,
there is always already something familiar about it. One
knows the signs, one knows what is about to occur, and one
knows the kinds of reactions that will build up. One knows
that, instead of clenching one’s teeth and resisting it, one
should find some more work to do during that time. Instead
of planning a vacation or a binge when one sees a crisis
coming, one cancels all forms of entertainment or ordinary
distraction, every thing that one would normally use to
distract oneself from one’s usual state. One plans a lot of
work for the coming days. One plans on an ordinary,
functional life. One makes good use, really good use, of
these episodes. The more intelligent one is, the better the
use one makes of them. The less intelligent one is, the more
capable one is of binding distraction at that time, the more
one will look for means to dramatize one’s state, and to
distract oneself from the lesson that turns purification
into transformation.

You must know that everything I am doing is a means to
bring about this crisis. I desire this crisis in you. I
don’t want it not to happen. I don’t want to console you. I
don’t want you to be happy in your unconsciousness. I want
you to become sensitive to your actual state. I want you to
know very well what you are always up to. I want you to
become capable of seeing yourself under all kinds of
conditions. I want you to see the machine of your ordinary
activity. And I want it all to collapse. I want it to come
to an end. I want the death of all of that.

* * *

If you dramatize reactivity, you must discipline
yourself, go to the meditation hall more, study, change the
mind, submit it, and work out whatever is frustrating you.
In any moment of difficulty you may not be able to change
your state absolutely, but do not, therefore, dramatize it.
Do not abuse Me, your True Heart-Master. Do not abuse your
spouse, do not abuse your friends, do not indulge in your
reactivity.

Suffer your reactivity yourself and bring it to more
study. Surrender it in feeling-Contemplation of Me. Exercise
yourself in devotion to Me. Deny yourself casual time for a
day or two or three. Redress the wrong, and clarify your
practice.

* * *

SRI DA AVABHASA: In the Way of the Heart, whenever you
notice you are at your worst, go on retreat, or fast.
Religious practitioners have always practiced retreat and
fasting in difficult times, thus demonstrating that they
knew what they are doing. Instead of dramatizing, which is
the common choice when things seem not to be working out for
you, drop out of the sphere of objects, others, seeking, and
the dramatization of reactivity and desire, and go on
retreat. Go on retreat for a day, for an afternoon, for
several days, for some weeks, for however long it takes.

Apart from such formal retreat, which you should resort
to as often as such dilemmas arise, you can also add a
discipline to your daily life that is a kind of retreat for
My devotee in the Way of the Heart. That discipline is to
fast, while going about your daily business, from the sphere
in which the dilemma is appearing. Instead of (while in a
fit of potential dramatization) trying to work out something
with someone about this, that, or the other thing, fast from
the conflict. Do not associate with the person for the
moment or even for some while. Do not enter into intimate
occasion, if the disturbance is occurring in your
emotional-sexual intimacy. Drop out of the sphere of objects
and others and the search associated with it. Collect
yourself to Me, “consider” My Heart-Word, and straighten
yourself out.

These are the religious means. However, you tend to do
what worldly people generally do. When you fall into these
difficulties, you do not make use of the means to which you
have already committed yourself as My devotee. Instead, you
tend to abandon those means, you dramatize, and you create a
struggle. If you should find yourself in such a difficult
moment, fast, go on retreat – before you dramatize. If you
do not fast or go on retreat, you will inevitably dramatize.
And if you dramatize, you create difficulties, you make
errors, you say things you should not say, everybody tries
to address you, and people must use up their energy to deal
with you as some adolescent character who is totally
unavailable to any wisdom at all.

In fact, you all are wasting much of your time in
cultural discussions with one another by addressing people
who are already involved in a dramatization, whereas you
should have noticed what they are doing and sent them to
take a retreat or to fast. Therefore, establish the
fundamental principle of this practice as the basis for your
dealing with anything. Obviously, when things are more
difficult and you are rather overwhelmed, you must apply the
most fundamental principles of the Way of the Heart and
resort to them. The Way of the Heart is about
self-understanding and self-transcendence, not about
perfecting the circumstance of your relations for their own
sake.

DEVOTEE: I notice that in those moments of reactivity or
seeking, the same objects always come up.

SRI DA AVABHASA: As an egoic character, you are patterned
toward particular forms of seeking. It is likely that the
patterns will continue to show themselves in a similar form
over and over again. These repetitive patterns are exactly
what you should fast from, because your purpose, since you
are committed to the Way of the Heart, is to deal with
yourself, not to make a utopia out of the conditional world,
whether in the larger sense or up close.

DEVOTEE: So to deal with those objects of desire is to
fast from those objects of desire?

SRI DA AVABHASA: If necessary. When you are capable, when
the real arms of practice are in place in you, then you can
deal more directly with your reactivity, your desire, your
seeking for relations, objects, and others. When you have
sufficient clarity, then you can be more outspoken and
functional in your relationships. But if you do not have
such clarity, it is time to fast.

* * *

In the Way of the Heart, the dietary discipline is senior
to the emotional-sexual discipline. Without an understanding
of oneself as a food body – which is what the flesh body is,
a food body, made of food and about the process of food –
without such understanding and without being responsible for
the body as such a mechanism, you cannot be direct and clear
about the emotional-sexual dimension of your life.

The gross body is, very simply, the food body. The gross
body itself depends on (and is made of) food. The quality
and quantity of food largely (or very basically) determines
the state and desire and action of the physical body and the
sense-mind. If food-taking is intelligently minimized, and
if the food selected is both pure and purifying, then the
physical body (and even the total mind and the emotional
dimension of the being) passes through a spontaneous natural
cycle that first shows signs of purification, then
rebalancing, and, finally, rejuvenation. Therefore, if
food-taking is controlled, the physical body itself,
including its desires and activities, becomes rather easily
(or simply) controllable.

* * *

Only a benign, pure, vital, and complete diet can serve
the body’s Communion with the Divine Reality.

* * *

If the process of breathing is consciously exercised, and
you become aware of breathing as a constant process of
energy and feeling rather than mere huffing and puffing,
then economization and control of emotional reactivity will
become more and more natural to you in daily life.

* * *

When you are breathing, feel it, bodily and with emotion.
Whatever you are doing, feel it altogether. Feel into all
relations constantly. But whatever you are thinking or
feeling about what you are doing or have done, feel what you
are doing instead, and feel the breath of living.

If you are angry and too full of self-expression, inhale
and receive and be vulnerable through all relations. And
make sure the inhalations on the left side are full and
clear. Then breathe evenly in the Happiness of My “Bright”
Company.

If you are sorrowful and full of self-pity, exhale, blow
out the lungs, and bring energy, love, and strength into all
your relations. And make sure the exhalations on the right
are full and clear. Then breathe evenly in the Happiness of
My “Bright” Company.

If you are afraid and full of doubt, breathe deeply and
fully, with feeling. Breathe equally in and out, fully and
clearly. Then breathe evenly in the Happiness of My “Bright”
Company.

And when fear, and sorrow, and anger are restored to the
balance of life, My Divine Love-Bliss, Which Exceeds and
Contains and is Ever Free of your illusion of separate life,
may come forth to Claim your attention.

The devotee must continue to live and enjoy the Condition
of Satsang, even though he or she may feel the rising
tendencies, the negativity, the symptoms-physical, psychic,
internal, in the external conditions of life, everywhere.
Even so, live this Satsang, enjoy this Satsang. It is the
only principle that is free of all of that, and if you live
the transformative conditions of Satsang, Its intelligence
replaces the unconscious activity of suffering. To live
Satsang makes the search and its motivating dilemma
obsolete.


 


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