The Incarnation of Love – Adi Da Samraj





Incarnation of Love

Table of Contents


CHAPTER 9

I Call You to Transcend Your Reactivity – Fear, Sorror
and Anger

SRI DA AVABHASA: What is a negative emotion? It is not
feeling, it is not relationship, it is not happiness. It is
always a recoil from some circumstance, some condition, some
state. Therefore, all the forms of emotion other than love,
or the natural radiance of emotion, are karmic in nature,
forms of contraction, forms of suffering that cause you pain
in the body, reinforce the sense of separate self, and cause
you to dramatize life in separative ways, as a seeker.

Birth is separation, or identification with the
vulnerable born-condition. It is, in the human case, vital
shock, or fear.

When fear becomes self-conscious – when you are seen and
known, even by yourself, to be afraid – shame arises.

Shame leads to self-indulgence, or patterns of desire and
self-manipulation that enervate the body-mind, spending the
available life-force. This includes every kind of activity
relative to the great cycle of “money, food, and sex”.

When energy, or life, is spent to the point of enervation
and loss, feelings of emptiness and sorrow overcome the
individual being.

When emptiness and sorrow become self-conscious – when
you are seen and known, even by yourself, to have wasted
life or failed to master its impulses – guilt arises.

Guilt leads to flight and the sense of being chased or
under attack. It may lead to suicidal egoic
“self-possession”, but when escape is realized to be
impossible, then anger arises.

When anger does its aggressive work, murderous in its
intent and power – so that you are seen and known, even by
yourself, to have become the enemy of life and love –
remorse arises.

Remorse repents of separation, fear, shame,
self-indulgence, emptiness, sorrow, guilt, flight, anger,
and aggressively egoic “self-possession”. Therefore,
remorse, or repentance, fully and clearly realized,
establishes the body-mind in the mood of nonseparation and
love.

For this reason, men and women are advised since ancient
times to repent and to love, to become established in the
balanced, feeling center of the being, which is the heart.
Therefore, as My devotee, turn to Me with feeling-devotion.
Receive My Love, which moves you beyond egoic
“self-possession”. By these means, enter into Communion with
Me, the True Heart-Master, the Divine Person, Who Stands
eternally in front of your heart.

* * *

Once there is self-understanding and the Awakening of
attention and energy to Me, the will must convert this
body-mind, this mound or pillar of “Narcissus”, into a true
and living temple of God-Communion. Thus, through practice
of the Way of the Heart in My Company, fear must be
converted into the will to free surrender as bodily
existence; sorrow must be converted into the will to present
relationship; anger must be converted into the will to
forgiveness, compassion, and self-transcendence; the
withholding of love must be converted into the will to love;
life-depression and negativity must be converted into the
will to life-positive feeling, action, breath, and speech;
doubt and confinement to fixed ideas and illusions must be
converted into understanding and the will to free attention;
and bodily separation from the Divine Being, Truth, and
Reality must be converted into the will to total
psycho-physical surrender to and inherence in Me, the
Self-Existing and Self-Radiant Divine Being.

Only when all of this is done have you entered into that
disposition and Condition in Which karma, or negative
tendency and guilt for past negative activity, can be
transcended. Negative tendencies, guilt feelings, and actual
guilt are a complex dis-ease of the total structure of the
body-mind, and all of that can be released or “forgiven”
only in the event of the conversion of the total body-mind
from the negative pillar of your egoic “self-possession” to
the living temple of surrender to Me and inherence in My
Divine Love Bliss, or Happiness Itself.

Reactivity is basically a ritual you engage all day long,
week after week, month after month, year after year, as you
cycle through the ritualized demonstrations of mind,
emotion, and body. There is no ultimate necessity for it.
Your emotional reactivity is an organized form of behavior
for which you are not responsible, and your irresponsibility
is the problem of life, the “Dreaded Gom-Boo”.

This imaginary disease is not merely a little bit of
philosophy. It is a ritual life, a prerehearsed, prefigured
automaticity you crank out every day of your life in
relation to standard events. You are always doing it. You
live as if you are diseased. The Dreaded Gom-Boo is a real
disease in the sense that you experience it and are animated
in it every day of your life, but it is imaginary, or
unreal, in the sense that it is not necessary, not based in
reality. It is just an automaticity. It has no
necessity.

Since the Dreaded Gom-Boo is unnecessary, there is
therefore no necessity to devote your life to overcoming it!
You should understand it and transcend it directly.

***

On Fear

Fear Is The Primary Mood Of Separation. Fear Is
Especially Associated With The First Stage Of Life and The
Vital Shock Of birth. It Is Signalled By the gaping mouth
(In Pitiful Awe), As if the mother’s teat Were Suddenly Torn
From the infant lips.

Fear Is Also The Principal Motivating Mood Of the “Solid”
character. Paradoxically, the Obsessively self-Controlling
and otherControlling “Solid” character Is Founded On A Fear
Of Being Controlled By others (or By conditions outside the
body-mind-self). And That Fear Is Originally Developed In
the years of infancy, childhood, and adolescence, Generally
In A Passive and Rather infantile Reaction Either To The
Feeling Or To the Actual experience Of Being Too Much
Controlled and Threatened By others, Especially adults.

* * *

Fear Is the self-Contraction. . . . All Of Fear, egoity,
self Contraction, or Un-Love Is Only Suffering. It Is Only
Destructive. And It Is Entirely Un-Necessary.

* * *

I have often “Considered” with you the passage from the
Upanishads that says, “Wherever there is an other, fear
arises.” No demons, no bows and arrows, no nuclear war –
only an other, only the sense of otherness, need arise to
give rise to fear. And how does the sense of otherness
develop? Through the self-contraction, whereby one feels
separated from what one observes, therefore limited by it,
and thus limited to what one can seem to be at this moment.
Feel mortal and you feel incapable of flow, or change, or
freedom. There is no ultimate metaphysical means for getting
rid of fear, no ultimate knowledge. The alternative to fear
is not some great answer that will ultimately prevent your
being chronically and mortally afraid, which you now are,
and which people in general are always. Such knowledge is
not even possible. The alternative is to feel Me,
Contemplate Me, and understand fear as an ordinary mechanism
of the body. You can, and should, in any moment feel and
breathe beyond fear through surrender to Me. You should be
resting in your natural state, feeling and breathing whole
bodily into My Divine Condition in Which you exist. Do not
remain full of fear, doubt, contraction, becoming a black
hole, another universe unto yourself into which everything
is sucked, like Lake Narcissus!

As soon as there are two rather than One, the great fear
arises. And that fear tends to make you crave more
fulfillment through the things you desire. Thus, people are
obsessed with what they desire. They are angrily at work to
be fulfilled, high and low. But at the root of their
desiring is despair, pleasurelessness, fear. When people
Find Me and enter more and more fully into Divine Communion,
which is the Way of the Heart whereby fear and anger are
undone, the necessity of all human experience begins to
break up and disappear. The “two” of separate self and
whatever is not separate self become the One of Divine
Love-Bliss.

Certainly, fear is fundamental to Spiritual life. You
must uncover enough of yourself so that you cannot immunize
yourself against fear anymore. You do not want to be that
vulnerable, do you? So you say, “Forget Spiritual life.” It
is easier to stay consoled, stay busy, stay sexy. Spiritual
life is not merely a matter of being afraid, but it is a
matter of transcending fear and not merely immunizing
yourself against it all your life.

* * *

To surrender your consolations is to open the door to
fear, to the naked reality of your own vulnerable mortality.
This mortal fear is the first three stages of life, which
are based on identification with the body and elemental
existence and which are committed to protecting that
identification. The first and foundation and great gesture
is to go beyond that impulse to consolation, that refusal of
fear.

* * *

What you identify as fear is the natural energy of the
individual being contracting upon itself and causing an
implosive and unpleasant pressure.

* * *

Fear is your recoil from the gesture of
participation.

* * *

Through your self-transcending resort to Me, you can be
free of fear in this very moment, in any moment, even in a
moment when some degree of fear seems conventionally
appropriate. Fear collapses attention. Therefore, even when
fear might seem appropriate, it is still better to be
without fear, so that you may have complete attention in the
moment to deal with the threat. Fear is plainly and simply
inappropriate, except in the flash of noticing imminent
danger. But even then, in the very next moment you are
dealing with the danger rather than with the fear. Fear has
only the most minute significance as a practical necessity
in your life, and yet you tend to be completely overwhelmed
by it!

* * *

Activated as an automaticity by your mood of anxiety,
fear releases the subtle chemicals secreted by the
hypothalamus and other endocrine glands. Then, as a
reflection of this activated mechanism in the body, thoughts
of death and bad possibility arise to the mind, and in
response to these chronically fearful thoughts, you
recondition the bloodstream again with more negative
chemistry! The usual man or woman lives always in a chronic
state of fear, committed to egoic “self-possession” and
meditating on self-contraction.

* * *

As you begin to see how fear works as a mechanical
process, you will also feel that it arises without external
cause. You will begin to notice how it clicks into and out
of operation in a subtle range of mood from anxiety to
terror in every moment of your existence, as a reaction to
everything that is present to your awareness – as if life
were a question you had to answer before attaining the right
to be free of fear. Fear is a rolling process in the body, a
constant bodily tension, a permanent recoil or flight. As My
devotee, you can also observe that through the natural
process of feeling-Contemplation of Me, by surrendering to
the One That Lives you, fear is transcended in every moment.
Thus, it is not by means of a long and complicated process
or path, like slaying a dragon, that fear is overcome, but
through natural, tacit surrender to Me, the Living
Divine.

 

On Sorrow

Sorrow Is The Primary Mood Of the Rejected individual.
Sorrow Is Especially Associated With The Second Stage Of
Life, The Loss Of self-Security, and The Loss Of Power Over
others On whom one Depends. It Is Signalled By the grimace,
the downturned and puckered mouth, As In the eliminative
anal grunt, The End Game Of oral Dependency.

Sorrow Is Also The Principal Motivating Mood Of the
“Peculiar” character. The Alternately Idealistically (and
Thus mentally) self Controlled and Chaotically
self-Indulgent “Peculiar” character Is Founded On A Basic
and Sorrowful Feeling Of Being Neglected. The Chronic Sorrow
Of the “Peculiar” character Is A Yearning To Be Effectively
Touched, or Loved. It Is A Call and Even An Hysterical Need
(or Search) To Be Controlled, or Restored To Balance By A
Positive Controlling Influence. And That Sorrowful Need Is
Originally Developed In the years of infancy, childhood, and
adolescence, Generally In An Hysterical and Rather childish
Reaction Either To The Feeling Or To the Actual experience
Of Being Neglected, Denied Love, and Denied A Positive
Controlling Influence.

* * *

Sorrow is ego-based. It is your way of dwelling on what
you have lost, when someone you love has died, for example.
The feeling of sorrow does not really take into account the
one who has died except as something from which you are
separated. Thus, most of the emotions you indulge when
somebody dies are your own problems, reactions you must deal
with or overcome.

Even so, it is not altogether inappropriate to be
sorrowful when someone dies. But you must find another
resource, a greater capability, through which to be free of
the vision of death that is pushed in front of you at such a
time. The sorrow you feel at someone’s death is not just the
result of memory. It is ritual, like so much of the rest of
what everybody does repetitively, compulsively, constantly,
hour after hour, day after day, from birth until death.
People generate very few truly appropriate actions in the
whole period between birth and death.

Most of the sorrow associated with death, therefore, is
totally unnecessary, a self-destructive and
other-destructive ritual. Passing through the ritual sorrow
and complication relative to the sickness or death of
someone with whom you had a very strong emotional connection
and daily dependency is perhaps inevitable. You must still
overcome your sorrow, but sorrow is at least temporarily
appropriate.

 

On Anger

Anger Is The Primary Mood Of Reaction To All That Seems
To Justify Fear and Sorrow. It Is Especially Associated With
The Third Stage Of Life, The adolescent Struggle With The
Motives Of Dependence and Independence, and The Aggressive
Effort Toward genital Victory (Glorifying the Separate and
Separative self, egoically Powerful Over all others). It Is
Signalled By the tortured mouth with gnashing teeth, The
facial Display Of genital Shapes and genital Agony.
Everything Of The First Three Stages Of Life Is Displayed In
Common egoic Anger. Even egoic sex Is Full Of Rejection and
Anger, Threatened By Loss and Sorrow, and Convinced Of
Fearful Separation.

Anger Is Also The Principal Motivating Mood Of the
“Vital” character. The “Vital” character Is
Characteristically self-Indulgent, vitally, or physically.
The Mood Of This Pattern Is Always Rather Rebellious.
Indeed, Even the Most Apparently Carefree, self-pleasurizing
“Vital” character Is Dramatizing Resistance and Refusal. The
“Vital” character Is Founded On An Angry Reaction To
Controls and Demands. The Characteristic Behavior Pattern
Associated With the “Vital” character Is A Chronic Effort To
Resist, Refuse, or Avoid The Controlling Influence Of others
(or Even Of the mind) On The personal bodily Existence Of
the conditional self. And That Mood Is Originally Developed
In the years of infancy, childhood, and adolescence,
Generally In An Aggressive and Rather adolescent Reaction
Either To The Feeling Or To the Actual experience Of Being
Too Much Controlled and Threatened By others, Especially
adults.

* * *

Egoic self is strong, yes! Because you are angry. And
anger is a technical fault. Those who are My devotees know
where anger is. Anger arises in the solar plexus as a great
heat, a fiery energy that runs up the front of the body. It
runs up the front of the body, but the heat of Spiritual
Force should run up the back of the body.

Anger is like vomiting, a reversal of the current of
life-force in the frontal line of the body. Those who are
angry throw up the lifeforce in front. But the front of the
body is supposed to conduct the descending current, the
cooling, relaxing current. Those who are chronically angry
reverse this current from the solar plexus just below the
ribcage, creating great heat in the head, in the face, all
over the body. Anger is a disease, a reversal of the natural
current of the body, which should descend in front and
ascend in back.

You are so involved in anger because of your upbringing
and because of all the previous lifetimes you do not
remember. You are habituated to angry reaction toward
embodied existence. Taken by itself as a matter of fact,
embodied existence is totally worthy of anger. Totally
worthy of it! You are therefore justified in your anger. But
when you understand yourself, understand the mechanism of
this reaction, this fire in the front of the body, and can
relax that automaticity, then you can receive the cooling
force of My Spiritual Heart-Transmission, which cools and
relaxes the face, the chest, the heart, the solar plexus,
the abdomen, cools you in front, relaxes you in life,
enables you to re-order your life sanely, relieves you of
all your un-Happiness. Then, via My Baptizing Power, the
Fire of My Spirit-Current Awakens.

The Fire of My Spiritual Life-Current belongs in back, up
the spine or in the central line of the body. It has nothing
to do with negative or reactive emotions. First, you must
understand yourself and overcome this revulsion, which is
really like vomiting all the time. Anger is like throwing up
all the time from this place just below the ribcage. You
tighten up there, and then you throw it up through the
heart, through the throat, through the face. You get flashes
of heat in the face and you become aberrated. The heat boils
your mind, boils your brain, interferes with the subtle
mechanisms in the brain, in the hypothalamus and so forth,
if you want to get technical about it. It increases the heat
in the midbrain and it aberrates you.

The fundamental aspect of this angry orientation is the
throwing up of life in the front of the body. Anger heats
the brain in its central compartments and throws off
hormonal chemistry that aggravates the rest of the body. You
are not merely angry, you see. You are habituated to anger
because of the difficulties of life and the models of the
people you have grown up with and the training you have
received and the aggravated education you have endured. All
these influences have nothing to do with Spiritual life but
only with ordinary suffering.

You must understand most fundamentally the mechanics of
your self-contraction and what you do under various
circumstances when you react and engage this mechanism, when
you throw up the life, when you throw it back to the Divine
angrily instead of receiving it from the Divine Person. You
must be completely free of this orientation so that you can
receive My Divine Blessing and breathe it down, conduct It
down, inhale and receive It, open up your heart to It.

Feel Me. This is the first moment of Grace, not merely to
taste My Blessing sometimes, but to be in a position to
accept It and grow on Its basis, to use My Blessing as the
Means of your Spiritual transformation.

Like children and adolescents, in your egoity you do not
think you must be obliged by what you understand. You think
you can be secretive, egoically “self-possessed”, cloudy,
dark, self-indulgent, dramatizing. You think you have a
right to such dramatization. In fact, you think such
dramatization is ordinary life, and you think it has no
consequences.

When you were a child and a teenager, perhaps your
immaturity did not have great consequences because you were
surrounded by the shroud of adults’ protection. But now that
you are an adult and My devotee, you are responsible for the
environment that makes life positive and whole. Therefore,
you do not have the right to dramatization. You are now
obliged by the passage to adulthood to manifest the sign of
your best understanding, which has been Given to you by My
Divine Revelation. You must show it fully, bodily,
enthusiastically, happily, emotionally.

* * *

You no longer have the right to your bad days or your
phases. Bad days and phases will occur in the process of the
sadhana of the Way of the Heart, but I do not want to see a
sign of them on your face or in your outward life. I do not
want to see any drama. I have not come so that you can
persist in stupidity and mediocrity, showing Me no life, no
energy, no intelligence, no attention. Those tendencies are
there in you, but so what? So you will have to do a little
sadhana. The little difficulty required of one who lives the
sadhana of Satsang with Me is nothing compared to the
sadhana the seeker must perform. I expect you to accept this
responsibility and to live in Satsang with Me and always to
be Happy. If some circumstance within or without is
temporarily giving you apparent trouble, I expect you to be
Happy and to live this Satsang with Me with great energy,
and never to turn away from Me. If you do all that is
Required of you with great energy, you will see a
transformation that will amaze you. And I expect your
sadhana not to stop but to increase.

* * *

When do you ever get serious about yourself? You are in
the same mud with everyone here, going to death [snaps
His fingers] any moment now, all under the same
sentence, stuck in the hell-house, waiting indefinitely for
the execution. You all know it is going to happen, but you
hope it will not hurt too much. And in the meantime you are
hoping that life will be amusing and consoling and that you
will not be so afraid. Thus, you keep piling in the
consolations so that you can be immunized against your fear,
which is the fundamental thing you are trying to avoid – not
death but fear.

You are always trying to avoid fear. You will use almost
any device in any moment to avoid fear, to avoid sensitivity
to the situation you are really in. You hardly even
participate in this existence, in this moment, because you
are afraid of fear. You will not renounce sufficiently to
encounter and go beyond your fear so that you are clearly
here, clearly existing, bright, free to renounce this
contraction here, like that [snaps His fingers]. As
long as you are afraid of fear, you will not really renounce
this contraction. You will toy with it, play with it, think
about it, wonder about it, and keep introducing the
delays.

In any moment of your conditional existence, you do have
the power somehow to prolong your insensitivity to fear by
consoling yourself, immunizing yourself, fooling yourself,
occupying yourself, distracting yourself with this, that, or
the other object always selecting the objects that are the
most consoling, that enable you to relax the most, to feel
immune the most. You are basically seeking immunity, not
self-transcendence. You are not motivated to
self-transcendence. You are seeking immunity. You are
seeking to be dull, unaware of fear, or the fundamental
sensitivity to your circumstance here, in which your very
existence could be hacked off, like your head by a sword, in
any moment.

Nonetheless, in every moment you suffer limitation,
search, agony, the pain of the contraction of your own
body-mind, and still you will not relinquish the
contraction. Rather than do that great act of devotion to
Me, you prefer to console yourself, think yourself into
insensitivity, react yourself into insensitivity, create a
dullness physically so that you can be insensitive to the
thing you know is always there: Fear. Ending.
Unconsciousness. Blackness. Utter separation.

* * *

All doubt, despair, and fear become insignificant once
the intention of life becomes love, rather than dependence
on love.

* * *

Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Is Chronically
Expressed Through The Complex Ritual Of Rejection, or The
Communication Of The Dominant Idea “You Do Not Love me”.
Once This Is (In The Way Of The Heart) Truly, and
Completely, and Most Fundamentally Understood, The Ritual Of
Rejection, Fear, egoity, selfContraction, or Un-Love Can Be
Directly Transcended, If Only It Is Summarily Replaced By
The Ordeal (or Discipline and Practice) Of self-Transcending
Love, and (Then, By Grace) Heart-Communion With and
(Ultimately) Heart-Communication Of The Divine
Self-Condition, In The Form “I Love You”.


Incarnation of Love

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