Have I Said It?
Note to reader:
As a member of Adi Da’s (then Bubba Free John’s) community from about 1973-1975, during which time I lived for nine months in Persimmon, the sanctuary where he lived. My service was to create an index of his early books. I found these writings to be compelling, along with some of the outrageous talks that have not found their way into print. Around his birthday in 1975 (to the best of my recollection), Adi Da was planning on moving with a small group to Hawaii. For that occasion, I arranged a selection of his compelling words by topic (mostly selected from his books) and hand-wrote them in a blank book for his enjoyment. As far as I know, nothing ever came of that compilation. That became Book One of two parts, the second of which I completed some time thereafter. Now through the Internet, I make both parts available to interested readers. These blank books (I made a copy for myself) have been sitting on my bookshelves all this time, and after Adi Da’s passing, it occurred to me that this compilation would be very useful to many readers.
Enjoy,
Ed Hirsch
presenceofone@yahoo.com
Ashland, Oregon
Chapter 10
Ignorance
Considerations
You Do Not Know What Anything
Is.
An enlightened lover
Cannot be bothered
With subjectivity, fear or
concern.
How boring!
Such a one is only busy
With the affair of his or her
loving,
Which extends into every area of
life.
It is all a delicious
exploration.
It is profound, ordinary,
But full of magic.
Who knows what will happen
next?
That is not the lover’s
concern.
Suddenly it strikes you that you
are
Present as the body totally,
Not just as the flesh
But as everything arising.
You are space. You are light.
Enter the garden with your
lover,
Sit intimately and breathe
Your mutual presence together.
Who starts where,
And who stops anywhere?
The world is full of
Endless possibilities for us
all.
This is the kingdom,
This is that very garden.
How could it be someplace
else?
We are here!
It never began,
And it never
Can come to an end.
It is endless,
Mindless,
Deliciously paradoxical,
Unreasonably happy.
The self reference
Is a convention of reference
For getting things done every
day.
But the self never appears
In our experience.
It is a symbol, a bit of
language.
It is not a description
Of how it is.
It is an advertisement.
The “I” never appears in the
event
As it does in sentences.
The “I” appearing,
Or the “me,”
The self reference,
Appears constantly in speech
But it never appears
In experience.
Don’t you think
That is remarkable.
It never does!
The ego
Does not exist.
It is a model
Of interpretation.
It is a way of
Making sense out of nonsense.
So if you remain
True to your experience,
You must begin to operate
In quite a different way.
This begins to become
Fully apparent to you,
Certain to you,
It is fundamental
To every moment of
Your consciousness.
You must be transformed,
Don’t you think?
Yes!
Do you think it is time for
you!
No one
Has ever had a thought.
Something arose.
You know what I mean?
There are only things arising.
No knowledge.
As soon as you
Get used to it,
If you do not forget it
And if you oblige yourself
To live with such
understanding,
Things begin to go on
Quite differently
For “you.”
Do not thing back,
Get into it
Right now!
Do you know
What consciousness is?
Is knowledge what it is?
And do you ever experience
That which you are?
That which
Observes Consciousness
And all other things,
Do you ever know that itself?
You do not know it,
You are not a thing apart
That could know it.
You are it, altogether.
No matter what arises,
As experience, thought,
emotion,
Circumstances, action, self
sense,
World, relationship, whatever,
We do not know what it is.
Our fundamental position
In the midst of arising things
Is utter ignorance
Or non-knowledge
Of the existence of anything.
We can and do very naturally
Gain all kinds of information
About things, people, events,
But we never know what they
are.
This is always and eternally
true.
We are already eternally happy
In our ignorance.
No matter what forms of
Knowledge we may acquire,
Even the highest so-called
“spiritual”
realizations,
We never know what it is.
There is no such knowledge!
There is absolute ignorance of
it.
Absolute ignorance of it.
Absolute ignorance
Of what you are
Or what anything is.
That is Nirvana.
And yet you see
At the same time
All this can occur,
All these so-called phenomena
Do not interfere
With this ignorance.
You are never in danger
Of knowing anything!
Nirvana is eternal,
And yet everything arises.
There is no one
Making it arise,
No one watching it arise.
Nothing is known,
And yet everything
Is going on,
And can be done
Exactly as it has always
Been before.
And yet when this
Is fully the realization
In Consciousness,
This will make
A great deal
Of difference.
It is not knowledge at all.
It is profoundest ignorance.
Adaptation to this ignorance
Is the highest wisdom.
Wisdom is adaptation.
Total ignorance.
You can see how this is so?
Yes?
So all of this and Nirvana
Are exactly the same.
No knowledge, no knower,
Only arising.
Nothing ever to be known
About that.
There is no cause of it.
It does not even exist.
Not stupid,
But complete ignorance.
Completely unqualified,
Without qualification,
And also not qualified to
know!
Absolutely unqualified
By any knowledge whatsoever,
By any specific definition
Or modification
Of consciousness.
The illusion of knowledge,
The illusion of knower,
Of some knowledge to be
attained,
Is suffering.
When the illusion of knowledge is
gone,
Suffering is completely gone,
All knowledge is completely
vanished.
There is no mind, no form, no
thing,
And yet there is everything.
This paradox is as close
As you can come
To pointing to the Divine,
so-called.
The paradox of this moment,
Unqualified and yet qualified
At the same time,
Well, this is enlightenment.
This is total, unqualified
And absolute enlightenment.
You are now enlightened!
All of this is obvious,
Isn’t it?
The whole secret
Of spiritual practice
Is the freeing of attention,
To the point where
That single gesture of
attention,
In which there is no
knowledge,
In which everything becomes
obvious,
May be made.
Most of your attention
Is being played on
By ordinary concerns
And points of view,
Beliefs, fears, and so forth.
Your attention must be
Freed up from that,
Fully, absolutely,
So that this simple gesture
Can be made.
Do you know
What anything is?
Is knowledge what you’re up
to?
Do you know anything?
This ignorance
Is your eternal,
Natural and Divine state.
That is the Truth.
That is the Divine form,
That ignorance, perfectly
enjoyed.
The illusion of knowledge
Is suffering.
That is it.
That is all there is to it.
At every moment
There is some new form of
knowledge,
Some new certainty
That this is your experience.
You see what I mean?
You think you are knowing
something.
But you are not knowing anything.
You do not know what it is.
In any case you do not know what it
is.
Ignorance is your natural
state.
All this knowledge
Is very complicated and
disturbing,
It involves you in an
adventure
That qualifies you and threatens you
even.
But you are not in a body,
You are in a state of ignorance.
Grasp this with your whole being
Entirely.
Make this your body, this
ignorance,
And all wisdom will appear
As nothing! As nonsense!
Nirvana is ignorance.
Realization is release from
knowledge,
The illusion of knowledge.
And all knowledge is an
illusion,
Because it does not actually
Amount to knowledge.
There is no reduction of the
mystery
Or the paradox.
All things arise and nothing is
known.
That is Nirvana.
Rest in your ignorance,
Any you are completely happy,
Completely unthreatened.
You are completely free of what
arises.
It never implicates you for a
moment.
You know nothing about it.
Knowledge is not your connection to
it.
There is no connection.
There is no “you” to
find.
There is ignorance, only,
Absolute ignorance.
Well, that is enlightenment.
That is it!
Now you must live it in every
moment
And you will see how mad you
are.
At any moment feel and see
If you know anything.
And then return to your natural
state.
Ignorance is it, you see.
That is it.
Have I said it?
There is only this ignorance,
eternally.
You relax into fully feeling this
ignorance.
Absolutely blissful.
It is perfectly obvious, isn’t
it?
There is nothing to be
realized
Beyond it.
It is the one thing that is
Truth.
It is very Truth.
It is the absolute experience.
It is the only knowledge, this
ignorance.
It is never touched, never
touched.
I am that ignorance. You see?
And so are you, aren’t
you?
That same ignorance.
You imagine that knowing
Is what you’re up to.
You imagine that enlightenment
Is some knowledge.
But that is not what it is.
It is this ignorance.
You are without motion,
Without place, without fear,
Without extension,
Without quality,
Without liberation,
Without bondage,
Entirely without knowledge.
And everything is simply
obvious.
It is perfectly obvious.
Fall back into your natural
condition
Of complete ignorance,
No knowledge,
Everything becomes obvious
And there is no illusion
And so suffering.
You will not acquire any
knowledge
Through any meaning
whatsoever.
Whatever it means,
You still do not know what it
is.
You are released from knowing
that.
Abiding in that ignorance
Is release eternal.
If you consider this argument
constantly
Then you will always be
enlightened.
It is always there.
Always has been there.
This has always been your
condition.
And at the same time
That there are all these things
arising,
Apparently,
There is nothing.
So-called.
Even if you fail to understand
that,
It is still the same
ignorance.
Look at one another
Realizing that you are not
looking
At anything that is knowing.
There is no knower there.
You have not the slightest
idea
What you are, what another is.
Look at it directly.
You are completely ignorant of
it.
All of you
Will be completely enlightened
Eternally.
How can you forget ignorance
again?
This ignorance is your only
experience,
Truly.
It has nothing to do with
anything.
Do you see?
There is only ignorance.
Only ignorance.
There is no knowledge.
None!
Complete ignorance
Of anything whatsoever
Is your nature.
Not ignorance within,
Or ignorance anywhere.
It is only ignorance.
That is it.
Only!
No single gesture that arose
Could possibly make it
Anything more than ignorance.
Everything arises
And you know nothing about it,
Not even the slightest
Hint of what it is.
No way to describe it,
It is completely awesome
And absurd yet workable.
It is all of that.
It is a paradox.
And you know nothing.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Nothing!
Nothing!
No knowledge whatsoever,
Complete ignorance.
Nothing!
And yet nothing disappears.
It is completely coincident
With absolutely any moment
whatsoever.
Nothing that arises
Has the least effect upon it
And it causes nothing.
Everything is it.
Everything is this same
ignorance.
Everything that arises is it,
It is that ignorance.
You say it is a modification
And yet it is still the same
ignorance.
It makes no difference
whatsoever.
There is no knowledge arising
At any moment, only arising
itself.
No knowledge whatsoever.
Even so-called knowledge is only
arising,
And you know nothing about it,
You haven’t the slightest idea what
it is.
Independent of what you are thinking it
means,
You haven’t any idea of what it is.
So you exist in this complete ignorance,
You are this complete
ignorance,
Everything is this ignorance,
There is only this complete,
Absolute ignorance
That makes no difference
whatsoever.
What it is
Is not the kind of thing
That makes a difference
And yet it obviously makes
All the difference,
You know what i mean?
Play it then!
Nothing is realized.
You do not know what anything
is
After that experience
Any more than before it.
Nothing changes or qualifies this
ignorance.
Look at all of this and you
realize
That there is nothing knowable about
it.
All this is not a something
About which knowledge can
appear.
There is no knowledge.
Never.
You never could grasp this
ignorance.
You see you never could.
Only this ignorance, then, and that is
it.
And this paradox is completely
obvious,
Isn’t it?
There is no knowledge,
Only complete ignorance.
And that is the Truth of it.
You know nothing.
There is no knowledge.
Profoundly realized,
You are absolutely released
In this ignorance.
This is perfection.
You see how the recognition
Of this ignorance
Is itself meditation.
This is the only true
meditation.
This must become ordinary,
constant.
This is Samadhi,
Enlightenment.
The whole matter of
Enlightenment,
Of Perfect Realization,
Is instant.
It does not require
Years and years of training.
It is a direct confrontation,
In which the individual must have
The available attention.
But it is most simple, most
direct.
It is exactly as we have considered
it,
And nothing more.
After all is said and done,
You do not know what anything
is.
You are completely ignorant
And nothing has ever been
knowledge.
So, consider that and do what you
will.
I am completely satisfied
That that argument
Is entirely sufficient
To enlighten all beings
Who can consider it.
You do not know what anything
is.
Even the knowledge you seem to
have.
There is no such thing as
knowledge.
It is just the illusion
At the end of seeking.
Realization is that
All that is fruitless,
And that there no knowledge
That can even be attained.
But that very ignorance
Is precisely your condition
And the condition of
everything.
And it will make no difference
Whatsoever.
You will still know nothing about
it.
You know nothing more about the
Absolute, Divine Vision
Than you know abut this glass of
water.
And vice-versa!
You are completely ignorant of what it
is.
It may mean a lot,
But you do not know what it
is.
You do not know what these meanings
are.
You do not know what they are.
You see? You are completely
ignorant.
This is absolutely true.
And that is the Truth.
And there really isn’t
anything
Else to Realize.
And one day it will be suddenly
obvious.
Your experience is complete
ignorance.
You do not know what anything
is,
You do not know what a word
is,
You do not know what anything
is.
It does not make any
difference
What happens, you still do not
know
Anything about it.
It is the noticing of this with
the
Full force of one’s being,
so-called,
That is enlightenment.
Enlightenment is so brief, so
simple,
It is only a matter of knowing
this,
So-called knowing of this.
Realizing ignorance brings the
whole
Thing to an end even while it
continues.
It does not become single,
It becomes a paradox,
A condition of which
There is no knowledge
whatsoever.
Do you know what I am talking
about?
Good! I suspected as much,
Because in saying all of this
I have not known anything
whatsoever.
So how could you know anything
more
As a result of listening to
me?
You do not.
You are as ignorant now as
then.
You have understood nothing.
Even if you had understood
something,
It would make no difference
Because you do not know what it
is.
Not just thinking about it
But realizing this ignorance
Is what I am talking about.
Spiritual discipline
Is essentially consideration
Of the argument
Until there is enough free
attention
That it becomes completely
obvious.
And the argument appears in many
forms,
This is just one of the versions of
it.
Do you know what anything is?
Do you know?
No.
Not at all.
In fact, there isn’t
anything
That is anything like a thing
About which knowledge
Could be possible,
Knowledge of what it is.
Existence of something
Is not anything that has to do
With knowledge.
There is no such knowledge
And never could be.
When you realize
That this ignorance
Is the same as your
Consciousness,
And are completely Realized
In this ignorance,
Then all this begins to become
Obvious in a remarkable way.
Even when you seem to know
What something is,
You are still completely
ignorant
Of the knowing and the thing.
Knowledge has nothing whatever
To do with it.
You are not something
That has knowledge or requires
it.
So what is wrong?
Make no assumptions
About knowledge whatsoever.
Know that you exist
As a complete mystery.
And that is precisely what you are, in
fact.
It is a complete paradox
Because everything arises in any
case,
Not for ignorant reasons, you
see,
Except perfectly ignorant
ones.
Arising has no cause
whatsoever.
True, it does arise in
ignorance.
Perfect ignorance!
So you can bypass all the
argument,
All the consideration,
If you realize that you are
Simply ignorant of it,
It could not be otherwise
Because it is not a something
About which knowledge is
possible.
Asking, “who am I?”
Is not a matter of
Finding out who I am.
It is a matter of realizing
You are completely ignorant of
it.
The “I” is not something
About which there can be
knowledge
As to what it is.
Who am I?
What it is cannot be known.
And yet that ignorance
Is also Consciousness.
Your very condition
Under all conditions
Is this ignorance.
It is not stupidity.
And it is not unconscious.
It is not anything
That you know about.
Have I Said It?
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