Shifting Roles: Navigating Life’s Stages
Beezone
onfucius once said, “At fifteen, I set my heart upon learning. At thirty, I had planted my feet firmly upon the ground. At forty, I no longer suffered from perplexities. At fifty, I knew what were the biddings of heaven. At sixty, I heard them with a docile ear. At seventy, I could follow the dictates of my heart, for what I desired no longer overstepped the boundaries of right.”
These words reflect a profound understanding of how our perception of life and our roles within it shift over time. As we grow older, what we do and why we do it evolves, and this evolution affects not only our inner world but also our relationships and the roles we play in society.
Our roles in life are not static; they are deeply intertwined with the relationships and systems we interact with. From childhood, we begin to form an “Ego”—a conceptual identity developed through our interactions with the world. Initially, we exist in a state of undifferentiated consciousness, where there is no sense of self or separation. However, as we grow, we start to distinguish between ourselves and others. Through experiences and relationships, we come to understand that we are not alone in the world; we are part of a larger network.
As children, we believe the world revolves around our needs. When those needs are not met immediately, we begin to understand that we are in a relationship with something external to ourselves. We learn that the world does not always respond to our desires, and from this realization, we begin to form an identity based on interaction and relationships. Over time, we adopt roles within our family, our community, and various social groups. These roles contribute to a web of identities that define who we think we are.
Conspiracy of Reality
As adults, we often get trapped in this web of roles and identities. We project who we think we are onto the world, and in return, we expect the world to validate those projections. This mutual reinforcement creates what I call the “conspiracy of reality”—a social contract where people confirm each other’s roles, reinforcing the notion that these roles define who we are.
However, when we step back and cultivate a Soul-view, we begin to see that behind every role, every identity, lies a fellow Soul. Each person we encounter is more than the roles they play; they are, like us, spiritual beings navigating the human experience. This perspective allows us to interact with others in a way that transcends Ego, meeting Soul-to-Soul. It is not our job to convince others of their Soul-ness, but rather to embody it ourselves. When we do this, we create an opportunity for others to meet us on that deeper level.
This shift in perspective extends to our own roles as well. We can fulfill the responsibilities of our roles without becoming attached to them. For example, a parent’s role is to nurture and protect their child, but if the parent is too attached to the role, they may become overbearing, limiting the child’s growth. However, if the parent can embrace the role without attachment, they can support the child’s development while simultaneously fostering independence.
As we age, we inevitably face changes in our roles and relationships. These changes are not limited to external circumstances; they also reflect internal transformations. Our bodies and minds change, and so do our capacities. We may no longer be able to perform certain tasks, and our relationships may shift as a result. This can be challenging, especially in a society that values independence and self-sufficiency. The loss of power—whether physical, mental, or social—can lead to suffering if we cling to outdated roles and identities.
However, if we can embrace these changes as part of our spiritual curriculum, they become opportunities for growth. Aging often brings a natural desire for introspection, a drawing inward that allows us to reflect on the deeper meaning of life. While this process can be labeled as laziness or depression by the culture, it can also be seen as a vertical shift—a move toward a higher plane of awareness.
Soul-Shift
The practice of seeing ourselves and others as Souls can transform our experience of aging. When we stop identifying with our roles and instead see them as part of a larger spiritual process, we free ourselves from the fear of change. We become less attached to the Ego-driven need for validation and more open to the flow of life. In this way, aging becomes not a process of decline but one of deepening wisdom.
Dependency is one of the most challenging aspects of aging for many people. In a society that prizes independence, the need to rely on others can feel humiliating or demeaning. However, from a Soul perspective, dependency is simply another role we play, another way in which we engage with the world. It offers us an opportunity to practice humility and to recognize that all human interactions, whether we are dependent or independent, are part of the dance of Souls.
The shift from independence to dependence, from power to powerlessness, is a key part of the aging process. As we lose certain abilities, we may feel a sense of loss or frustration. But if we can let go of our attachment to these roles and see them as temporary, we can find peace. The real work of aging is to release our attachment to form—whether it is the form of our physical body, our social status, or our mental abilities—and to rest in the awareness that who we truly are transcends all of these.
As our external power diminishes, we gain a new kind of freedom—the freedom to be eccentric, to live from the inside out rather than conforming to societal expectations. This eccentricity is not a sign of decline but of liberation. It allows us to live more authentically, to express ourselves in ways that may not have been possible when we were more constrained by our roles.
Ultimately, the process of aging is a creative act. It is an opportunity to transform our relationship with ourselves and the world. By embracing the changes that come with age and seeing them as part of our Soul-work, we can live with greater equanimity and peace. We can become wise elders, offering the gift of our presence and insight to society. And in doing so, we fulfill the ultimate role of the human journey: to awaken to our true nature and to help others do the same.