Sri Adi Da Love-Ananda
True Intimacy Is Not any relationship itself, but Real
and Effective Heart Practice In that relationship.
True Intimacy Is A Sadhana (or A Spiritual, and, Ultimately,
Transcendental, and Divine, Discipline), Not merely a conventional social
True Intimacy Is A self-Transcending Discipline That Directly
Transcends The Dissociative Method Of egoity, The Idea Of the psycho-physical
self As An Owner Of others, and The Idea Of others As Property. Therefore,
True Intimacy Replaces The Motive Of egoic Independence and The Psychology
Of Ownership (Of one’s intimate partner, or partners, or Even one’s children)
With The Practice Of self-Transcending Love and The Heart-Culture Of (Most
Fundamental) self-Understanding and Happy self-Discipline In Relationship
To one’s intimate partner (or partners), one’s Total family (and Community),
and all other beings.
True Intimacy Is A Cooperative Union Between individuals
whose Commitment To one another Is Based On A Spiritual (and, Ultimately,
Transcendental, and Divine) Intention That Is Freely, Directly, and Fully
Expressed Through the emotional-sexual character of each partner.
True Intimacy Is Necessarily An Intentional, Active, and
moment to moment Practice, Not Merely An Automatic or Given Situation and
Fact Of daily life To Be Passively Indulged or Suffered. And The Primary
Import Of That Practice Is That It, When Fully Established, Serves The
Magnification, Conservation, and Conversion Of The Grace-Given Spirit-Current
In the daily life of each partner. Therefore, Fullest (or Fully Spiritually
Responsible) True Intimacy Is Itself Sexual Communion, Whether Or Not the
partners Choose To Be sexually active.
True Intimacy Is The Practice Of self-Transcending Love
Of one’s intimate partner (or partners), While Releasing and Identifying
that one (and Even every one at all) In The Forms Of The Divine Person.
True Intimacy Is, Inherently, A Spiritual Condition and
Process, and, Therefore, It Cannot (In The Fullest, or Truly Spiritual,
Sense) Begin Previous To Spirit-Baptism (or Until There Is Devotional Entrance
Into The Spirit Activated Context Of The Fully Established “Basic” Fourth
Stage Of Life).
True Intimacy Is Not A Matter Of self-Indulgence and conventional
self Fulfillment, Although It Does Not, In Principle, Exclude pleasures
Of Love and sexual intimacy.
True Intimacy, Fully (Spiritually) Established, Is A Truly
human Yoga, A Discipline Of the psycho-physical self That Purifies Tendencies
Of desire and mind, Counters (or Responsively Releases) The Effort Of self
Contraction, Balances and Energizes the psycho-physical being With Spirit
Force, and Serves The Process Of Divine Self-Realization Through Real self
True Intimacy Requires (or Always Calls For) Real and
Steady Commitment Of attention and human energy.
True Intimacy Requires (or Always Calls For) The Real
and Steady Expression Of Love.
True Intimacy Requires (or Always Calls For) Real and
Steady Relinquishment Of egoic Independence, or all egoically “self-Possessed”
demands, expectations, and complaints, all rituals of rejection, mistrust,
and reactivity, and all strategies of depression, pleasurelessness, and
promiscuity (or All Merely Casual, or reactively Motivated, or Negatively
Intended, or Otherwise Un-“Considered”, Merely ego-Serving, and Mechanical
Indulgence or Involvement In emotional-sexual activity with any other or
others, or even with that, or any, established intimate partner).
Therefore, True Intimacy Requires (or Always Calls For)
Real and Steady Relinquishment Of Even any and all limits On Love.
As A Natural Means To True Intimacy, the partners In Love
Are Required (or Always Called) To Incarnate The Two Primary Signs (or
Complementary and Polar Opposite Aspects) Of The Divine and Universal Natural
Dynamic Of Life. Therefore, the masculine partner Is Required (or Always
Called) To Submit himself To Incarnate (or Extend) The Divine Husbanding
(or Conserving) Power (or To Practice The True Man’s Yoga) Through Steady
Control (or Right Directing) Of the energy and attention of himself and
his feminine partner, and By Constantly Arousing (In himself and In his
feminine partner) The Motive Of Right Restraint, Right Intention, and Right
Use Of human energy and attention. And the feminine partner Is Required
(or Always Called) To Submit herself To Incarnate (or To Extend) The Divine
Goddess-Power (or To Practice The True Woman’s Yoga) Of Attraction, self-Submission,
and Nurturing, By Constantly Feeding her masculine partner With The Life-Power
Of her personal energy and attention, and By Constantly Arousing The Motive
Of Heart-Submission and Heart-Radiance In herself and In her masculine
Only A Fool Will Fail To Cultivate The Relationship To
The Beloved. Therefore, Only A Fool Will Fail To Cultivate The human Well-being
and The Spiritual, Transcendental, and Divine Realization Of Love’s partner
In Love. And This Is Also True: The ego (or the self-Contracted individual)
Is Just Such A Fool!
The emotional-sexual ego Constantly Hunts For an other.
The ego-“I” (or self-Contraction) Hunts (or Seeks) an other (Even all others
and The Total Objective Cosmos) In Order To Be Gratified, Consoled, and
Protected. The Compulsive Hunting (or Search) For an other Is Generated
By The Feelings Of Un-Happiness, Emptiness, and Separateness That Possess
and Characterize the self-Contracted being.
Once an other Is Found, the ego-“I” Clings To the other,
At First pleasurably, and Then Aggressively. The ego-“I” Depends On the
other For Happiness, and, Over time, the ego-“I” Makes Greater and Greater
Demands On the other For Fulfillment Of itself (In all of its desires).
Often, In time, the other Becomes Depressed and Exhausted By This Demand
(and Thus Leaves, or Dies). Just As Likely, the ego-“I” Discovers, Over
time, That the other Cannot or Will Not Satisfy The Absolute Demand For
attention and Consolation. In That Case, the ego-“I” Feels Betrayed, and
the ego-“I” Begins The Strategy Of Punishing, Rejecting, and Abandoning
Every conditionally Manifested being Has (In time) Often
Been The Proposed Victim Of This Strategy Of Separate and Separative selves.
Even More, Until The Heart Gives Way To Divine Love-Bliss, every conditionally
living being Is The Original Genius and Grand Performer Of This Strategy
Of Separate and Separative selves. It Is The Strategy Of Narcissus, and
It Is The Dreadful Work Of all conditionally living beings who Are Not
Awake To The Truth Beyond the ego-“I”.
If There Is To Be Real Happiness, This Cycle Of egoic
“self-Possession” and other-Dependency (or object-Dependency Generally)
Must Be Transcended. In The Way Of The Heart, It Is Transcended Through
Most Fundamental self-Understanding, and Through self-Transcending Love,
Service, self Discipline, and Meditation (In Responsive Devotional Relationship
To Me, and, Thus and Thereby, In Responsive Devotional Relationship To
The Divine Person), and (Eventually, By Grace) Through Direct Realization
Of The Self-Radiant (or Inherently Spiritual), Self-Existing (or Transcendental),
and (Ultimately) Divine Self-Condition Of Being (Itself). In This Manner,
The Inherent Happiness Of The Spiritual, Transcendental, and Divine Self
Replaces The Fruitless Search (or Hunt) For Happiness By the self-Contracted
and Dependent conditional self.
The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is (By Virtue
Of his or her History, self-Idea, and Lack Of Spiritual, Transcendental,
and Divine Realization) Chronically Bound To The Ritual Of Rejection. The
emotional (or emotional-sexual) Career Of egoity Tends To Manifest As A
Chronic Complaint That Always Says, By Countless Means, “You Do Not Love
me.” This Abusive Complaint Is Itself The Means Whereby the egoic individual
Constantly Enforces his or her Chronic Wanting Need To Reject, Avoid, or
Fail To Love others. Indeed, This Complaint Is More Than A Complaint. It
Is A self-Image (The Heart-Sick or self-Pitying and Precious Idea That
“I” Is Rejected) and An Angry Act Of Retaliation (Whereby others Are Punished
For Not Sufficiently Adoring, pleasurizing, and Immortalizing the Precious
The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is Chronically
and Reactively Contracted From all of its relations. Fear Is The Root Of
this self-Contraction, and The Conceived Purpose Of this self-Contraction
Is self-Preservation, Even self-Glorification. Indeed, Fear Is the self-Contraction.
The self-Contraction, or the ego-“I”, Is The Root-Action or Primal Mood
That Is Fear. Therefore, All Of The self-Preserving, self-Glorifying, and
other-Punishing Efforts Of the ego-“I” (or the self-Contracted body-mind)
Only Preserve, Glorify, and Intensify Fear Itself.
Fear, the ego-“I”, Un-Love, or The Total Ritual Of self-Contraction
Must Be Understood and Transcended. All Of Fear, egoity, self-Contraction,
or Un Love Is Only Suffering. It Is Only Destructive. And It Is Entirely
Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Is Chronically
Expressed Through The Complex Ritual Of Rejection, or The Communication
Of The Dominant Idea “You Do Not Love me”. Once This Is (In The Way Of
The Heart) Truly, and Completely, and Most Fundamentally Understood, The
Ritual Of Rejection, Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Can Be
Directly Transcended, If Only It Is Summarily Replaced
By The Ordeal (or Discipline and Practice) Of self-Transcending Love, and
(Then, By Grace) Heart-Communion With and (Ultimately) Heart-Communication
Of The Divine Self-Condition, In The Form “I Love You”.
Therefore, In The Way and Manner Of The Heart, Understand
Your Separate and Separative self (As Un-Love) and Transcend Your Separate
and Separative self (By Love). And This Is Perfected (Progressively, In
The Way and Manner Of The Heart) By Devotional (or self-Transcending and
self-Forgetting) Heart-Surrender Of the conditional body-mind To My Bodily
(Human) Form, and My Spiritual (and Always Blessing) Presence, and My Very
(and Inherently Perfect) State, and, Thus and Thereby, To The Person and
The Forms or Characteristics Of The Spiritual, and Transcendental, and
If You Will Thus Be Love (By This Devotion), You Must
Also Constantly Encounter, Understand, and Transcend The Rejection Rituals
Of others who Are, Even If Temporarily or Only Apparently, Bereft Of Divine
Wisdom. Therefore, If You Will Be Love (As My Devotee, and, Thus and Thereby,
As A Devotee Of The Divine Person), You Must (In The Way and Manner Of
The Heart) Always Skillfully Transcend The Tendency To Become Un-Love (and
Thus To Become self-Bound, Apparently Divorced From Grace-Given Divine
Communion) In Reaction To The Apparent Lovelessness Of others. And You
Must Not Withdraw From Grace-Given Divine Communion (or Become Degraded
By Un-Love) Even When Circumstances Within Your Intimate Sphere, or Within
The Sphere Of Your Appropriate social Responsibility, Require You To Make
Difficult Gestures To Counter and Control The Effects or Undermine and
Discipline The Negative and Destructive Effectiveness Of The Rituals Of
Un-Love That Are Performed By others.
For those who Are Committed To Love (and who Always Commune
With The One Who Is Love), Even Rejection By others Is Received and Accepted
As A Wound, Not An Insult. Even The Heart-Necessity To Love and To Be Loved
Is A Wound. Even The Fullest Realization Of Love Is A Wound That Never
The egoic Ritual Calls every individual To Defend himself
or herself Against The Wounds Of Love and The Wounding Signs Of Un-Love
(or egoic self-Contraction) In the daily world. Therefore, Even In The
Context Of True Intimacy, The Tendency (Apart From Spiritual Responsibility)
Is To Act As If Every Wound (Which Is Simply A Hurt) Is An Insult (or A
Reason To Punish).
The Reactive Rituals Of egoity Must Be Released By The
self-Transcending (and Then Spiritual) Practice Of Love. This Requires
Each and Every Practitioner Of The Way Of The Heart To Observe, Understand,
and Relinquish The emotionally Reactive Cycle Of Rejection and Punishment.
And The Necessary Prerequisites For Such Relinquishment Are Vulnerability
(or The Ability To Feel The Wounds Of Love Without Retaliation), Sensitivity
To the other In Love (or The Ability To Sympathetically Observe, Understand,
Forgive, Love, and Not Punish or Dissociate From the other In Love), and
Love Itself (or The Ability To Love, To Know You Are Loved, To Receive
Love, and To Know That Both You and the other, Regardless Of Any Appearance
To The Contrary, Are Vulnerable To Love and Heart-Requiring Of Love).
It Is Not Necessary (or Even Possible) To Become Immune
To The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Become Thus Immune, You Would Have
To Become Immune To Love Itself. What Is Necessary (and Also Possible)
Is To Enter Fully Into The Spiritual Life-Sphere Of Love. In The Way Of
The Heart, This Is Done By First Entering (By Heart) Into My Company (and,
Thus and Thereby, Into The Company Of The Divine Person), and (Therein)
To Submit To The Divine Embrace Of Love, Wherein Not Only Are You Loved,
but You Are Love Itself. Then You Must Magnify That Love-Radiance In the
world of human relationships.
If You Will Do This, Then You Must Do The Sadhana (or
Concentrated Practice) Of Love. As A Practical Matter, You Must Stop Dramatizing
The egoic Ritual Of Betrayal In Reaction To The Feeling Of Being Rejected.
You Must Understand, Transcend, and Release The Tendency To Respond (or
React) To Signs Of Rejection (or Signs That You Are Not Loved) As If You
Are Insulted, Rather Than Wounded. That Is To Say, You Must Stop Punishing
and Rejecting others When You Feel Rejected. If You Punish another When
You Feel This, You Will Act As If You Are Immune To Love’s Wound. Thus,
You Will Pretend To Be Angrily Insulted, Rather Than Suffer To Be Wounded.
In The Process, You Will Withdraw and Withhold Love. You Will Stand Off,
Independent and Dissociated. You Will Only Reinforce The Feeling Of Being
Rejected, and You Will Compound It By Actually Rejecting the other. In
This Manner, You Will Become Un-Love. You Will Fail To Love. You Will Fail
To Live In The Sphere Of Love. Your Own Acts Of Un-Love Will Degrade You,
Delude You, and Separate You From Your Love-partner (or Your partners In
Love) and From Love Itself. Therefore, those who Fail To Practice The Sadhana
Of Love In their intimate emotional-sexual relationships, and In human
relationships Generally, Will, By That Failure, Turn Away (or Contract)
From God (or The Great Condition That Is Reality Itself ) .
Love Does Not Fail For You When You Are Rejected or Betrayed
or Apparently Not Loved. Love Fails For You When You Reject, Betray, and
Do Not Love. Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and Also If You Hear Me, and
Also If You See Me, Do Not Stand Off From Relationship. Be Vulnerable.
Be Wounded When Necessary, and Endure That Wound or Hurt. Do Not Punish
the other In Love. Communicate To one another, Even Discipline one another,
but Do Not Dissociate From one another or Fail To Grant one another The
Knowledge Of Love. Realize That each one Wants To Love and To Be Loved
By the other In Love. Therefore, Love. Do This Rather Than Make Any Effort
To Get Rid Of The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Feel Rejected Is To Feel
The Hurt Of Not Being Loved. Allow That Hurt, but Do Not Let It Become
The Feeling Of Lovelessness. Be Vulnerable and Thus Not Insulted. If You
Are Merely Hurt, You Will Still Know The Necessity (or the Heart’s Requirement)
Of Love, and You Will Still Know The Necessity (or The Heart’s Requirement)
The Habit Of Reacting To Apparent Rejection (By others)
As If It Were An Insult Always Coincides With (and Only Reveals) The Habit
Of Rejecting (or Not Loving) others. Any one whose Habitual Tendency Is
To Reject and Not Love others In The Face Of their Apparent Acts Of Rejection
and Un-Love Will Tend To Reject and Not Love others Even When they Are
Only Loving. Narcissus, The Personification Of the ego, the self-Contraction,
or The Complex Avoidance Of Relationship, Is Famous For his Rejection Of
The Lady, Echo, who Only Loved him. Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and
Also If You Hear Me, and Also If You See Me, Be Vulnerable In Love. If
You Remain Vulnerable In Love, You Will Still Feel Love’s Wound, but You
Will Remain In Love. In This Manner, You Will Always Remain In The human
(and Then Divine) Sphere Of Love.
Therefore, The Most Direct Way To Know Love In every moment
Is To Be Love In every moment.
The above is an excerpt from
Chapter 21 of
The Dawn Horse Testament
©2001 The Da Love-Ananda Samrajya
as trustee for The Da Love-Ananda
All rights reserved.
Used in DAbase by permission.
note to the