This 1991 version of The Dawn Horse Testament is NOT the final version by Adidam (Adi Da).
“you should not study any earlier edition of The Dawn Horse Testament (or any earlier edition of any other of My “source-Texts”). The final edition is it. There are not “multi-editions” or “multi-instructions”.
This chapter is from the current and latest 2004 edition of The Dawn Horse Testament which is out of print. It is not entirely “current” with Beloved Adi Da’s final language conventions and the details of His practical Instructions.
(Chapter 23 of the previous edition)
The first actually seeing stage of the only-by-me revealed and given way of Adidam requires a profound exercise of the frontal personality which surrenders, opens, and rightly polarizes, purifies, balances, and infuses the frontal character. That process must always take place on the basis of the primary practice responsive reception of my Ruchira shaktipat. And, in that process, the human and spiritual limitations of the frontal character are to be constantly encountered and surrendered via directly and effectively ego-transcending devotional and spiritual communion with me.
This real process of encounter and self-surrender inevitably produces many kinds of phenomenal signs. Even some signs related to the ascending spiritual process may spontaneously appear, but the significant signs that are specific to the first actually seeing stage of the way of the heart are associated with the descending process. Thus, the significant phenomena signs at this developmental stage include psycho-physical openings and, releases everywhere in the frontal line-spiritually relieving egoic mental, emotional, and physical patterns, reactions, and blocks in the hierarchical structure.
The self-contraction developed in the context of the first three stages of life shows itself, in the context of the frontal line, in a hierarchical pattern-progressing from the head to the bodily base via a range of specific emotions and bodily and mental states that generally would prevent spiritual communion with my divine love-bliss. In the first actually seeing stage of the way of the heart, my devotee must be already equipped to always immediately and directly transcend the potential of these various states to prevent spiritual communion with my Avatarically self-transmitted divine love-bliss; therefore, in the first actually seeing stage of the way of the heart, the spiritual process of such ego transcendence is primarily engaged relative to patterns and degrees of self-contraction that would merely diminish, rather than prevent, direct communion with my Avatarically self-transmitted divine love-bliss.
The head is associated with mental patterns that reflect the emotional and physical conditions below – and, in the context of practice in the first actually seeing stage of the way of the heart, my devotee discovers that the primary mental sign of the self-contraction is the habit of non-specific doubt.
Immediately below the head is the region of the throat. The self-contraction registers in this region either as the tendency toward the diminishment of psycho-physical equanimity or as the tendency toward a degree of suppression of bodily energy and human aliveness.
The general region of the heart is associated with emotional patterns that reflect conditions everywhere in the body-mind. The self-contraction is displayed emotionally as every kind of chronic and key emotion, including fear, sorrow, anger, and, un-love – but the maturing spiritual practitioner of the way of the heart, in whom the hearing of me, the seeing of me, and the maturing spiritual process of Ruchira Avatara bhakti yoga have already purified the heart in its average of moments, discovers that the primary emotional sign of the self-contraction is boredom.
If heart-boredom is suffered, the objectless doubt is also made to seem. Or if the doubt appears, heart-boredom is likewise suffered. And if the mind of doubt and the heart of boredom are suffered, the entire body-mind is expressed by either chronic or variously ranging signs of discomfort. Therefore, in the case of my actually me seeing devotees, these three are the always simultaneous moods and signs that may tend to appear.
My devotee in the first actually seeing stage of the way of the heart discovers that the ordinary struggle with concrete doubts, negative thoughts, emotional reactions, and grosser bodily discomforts is superseded by the true spiritual ordeal of fully technically responsible frontal communion with my spiritual divine presence of Avatarically self-transmitted “bright” love-bliss, and by the by-my-avataric-divine-spiritual-grace-given process of feeling beyond the primary signs of doubt, boredom, and discomfort – or the frontal efforts of self-contraction that would diminish, rather than would entirely prevent, moment to moment spiritual communion with my Avatarically self-transmitted divine love-bliss.
Therefore, even though the true devotee in the first actually seeing stage of the way of the heart may sometimes be obliged to transcend the lingering “grosser” resistance of the body-mind, the primary and constant practice and process is the ego-surrendering, ego forgetting, and ego-transcending ordeal of direct and immediate and fully technically responsible spiritual communion with me and this is done on the basis of true and basic psycho-physical and spiritual equanimity, already established by virtue of previous right and complete fulfillment of the listening stage, the hearing stage, and the would-be-seeing, or progressively seeing, stage of the way of the heart.
The characteristic mood and the basic character of the egoic individual in the first three stages of life are exhibited in terms of what I call “vital”, “peculiar”, and “solid” personality patterns. These patterns correspond, respectively, to reactive strategies of either a characteristically vital kind or a characteristically emotional kind or a characteristically emotionally kind or a characteristically mental kind.
The dominant characteristics of the “vital” character are obsessive and compulsive vital-physical self-expression and the chronic, excessive, and even, degenerative dramatization of bodily self-indulgence. The “vital” character is also associated with diminished emotional capability, and it is generally represented by either mental dullness or a chaotic display of the conceptual function.
The dominant characteristics of the “peculiar” character are excessively “romantic” and idealistic expectations and the loss of balance via chronic emotional hypersensitivity and the dramatization of exaggerated “mood swings”. The “peculiar” character is also associated with diminished conceptual capability, and it is generally represented by either suppressed or chaotically displayed vital-physical functions.
The dominant characteristics of the “solid” character are hyperactivity of the conceptual mind and the chronic dramatization of a profound need to control the psycho-physical self, especially via the efforts of the conceptual mind and the effects of merely conceptual expression. The “solid” character is also associated with diminished or suppressed vital-physical activity or capability, and it is generally represented by a suppression of emotional expression.
Most individuals express themselves in a complex fashion, combining two, or even all three, of these chronic egoic strategies – but every egoic individual is basically dominated by one of these three reactive designs. And the characteristic mood determined by each design dictates the characteristic expression of bodily energy and human aliveness via the region of the throat. Thus, the “solid” character tends toward suppression of bodily energy and human aliveness. The “vital” character tends toward a chaotic expression of bodily energy and human aliveness. And the “peculiar” character tends to swing between chaotic and suppressive expressions of bodily energy and human aliveness.
Insofar as these egoic strategies simply represent the ordinary and spirit-preventing efforts associated with the first three stages of life, they must be observed, understood, and transcended during the three periods of intensive listening and hearing practice – and the capability of those egoic strategies to prevent heart-communion with me is finally undone in the eventual awakening of the true seeing of me. However, insofar as these egoic strategies represent only the spirit-diminishing tendencies of the humanly adapted frontal personality of my actually me-seeing devotee, they may continue to be responsibly transcended and released in the truly both hearing and seeing practice of the way of the heart.
Deeper than the head and the throat, and central to the body-mind as a whole, is the heart. In the case of my seeing devotee practicing the way of the heart in the fully established “basic” context of the fourth stage of life, the left and the middle regions of the heart are functionally evident, but the right side of the heart is only latently evident in the egoic individual previous to the transition to the “perfect practice” of the way of the heart.
The heart-region of the egoic individual functions as the primary seat of functional emotion and of my Avatarically self-transmitted divine spirit-energy. And the heart-expression is retarded by the self-contraction, such that it becomes characterized by a range of non-spiritual and diminished spiritual signs – from the absence of spiritual awareness to the spiritual “disease” of diminished spiritual delight. And the self-contracted heart is also characterized by a range of emotions associated with un-love, or non-love, or ego-based and superficial pseudo-love, or diminished love.
The spiritual yoga of devotional self-surrender of the frontal personality to me is first to purify, rebalance, and regenerate the head, throat, and heart regions of the frontal line. In that initial process, chronic doubt, boredom, and discomfort, love-bliss-diminishing aspects of “vital”, “peculiar”, and “solid” character-strategies, love-bliss-diminishing suppression or chaos of bodily energy and human aliveness, and love-bliss-diminishing emotional expressions of un-love and non-love and pseudo-love and diminished love, and all other forms of diminished heart-expression and heart-delight, are to be progressively released-and these are responsively to be replaced by the mind of Ruchira-Avatar praise and real-god-aware happiness, and by spiritually fully infused equanimity, and by fullness of both human aliveness and spirit-life, and by the heart radiant disposition of ego-transcending love.
Once the initial purifying work of my Avatarically self-transmitted divine spirit-energy has become significantly effective in the frontal line of the body-mind, the spiritual yoga of devotional self-surrender of the frontal personality to me can then “break the navel”, and, thus, spiritually purify, rebalance, and regenerate the deeper regions of the frontal line.
The deeper regions of the body-mind are associated with the root-reactivity of the born personality. That root reactivity is represented by anger, sorrow, and fear. These great and base reactions are not commonly experienced in the daily course, and they do not directly and effectively either prevent or diminish spiritual communion with my Avatarically self-transmitted divine love-bliss. The more superficial patterns – including occasional and lesser expressions of fear, sorrow, and anger-are commonly indulged, but the great base reactions are commonly of, effectively, either preventing or, potentially, diminishing spiritual communion with my Avatarically self-transmitted divine love-bliss), but the great base reactions are commonly even though they are at the root of all superficial reactivity and all conventional patterning.
Spiritually untouched anger, sorrow, and fear are the dark, or hidden, side of; the heart – whereas the less aggressive expressions of fear, sorrow, anger, un-love, non-love, pseudo-love, and diminished love are the commonly dramatized side of the heart. Therefore, in the only-by-me revealed and given way of the heart, it is only when the deep reactive base of the heart – is invaded by my baptizing, purifying, rebalancing, and regenerative spiritual divine love-bliss-presence that the frontal personality is most fully restored to superior equanimity, and to optimum clarity of awareness, and to constantly capable feeling responsibility for mental, emotional, and physical negativity, and to truly fundamental love.
This process of total frontal invasion by my Avatarically self transmitted spirit-current of divine love-bliss does not itself require the most debilitating revelation of base fear, sorrow, and anger – but the process directly involves and requires the deep opening of the base regions of the frontal line of the body-mind to my Avatarically self-transmitted divine spirit-presence of love-bliss itself. And the fullest spiritual restoration of the frontal personality to my Avatarically self-transmitted divine love-bliss itself is the primary sign that is to be realized in the first actually seeing stage of the way of the heart. Indeed, this primary sign is so potent as a base of heart-awakening that direct awakening to the position of the witness-consciousness, and transition to the “perfect practice” of the way of the heart, will occur at the point of basic maturity in the first actually seeing stage of the way of the heart.
Only when chronic anger, sorrow, and fear are capably, directly, and effectively released can it be said that the first three stages of life are complete. And only when the degrees of ordinary anger, sorrow, and fear that prevent heart-communion with me are spiritually released can it be said that the fourth-stage – of life practice of the way of the heart has truly and fully begun. Therefore, practice of the way of the heart in the fully technically responsible context of the “basic” fourth stage of life cannot be truly and fully established until chronic fear, sorrow, and anger are transcended, via the awakening of both the true hearing of me.
Fear is the primary mood of separation. Fear is especially associated with the first stage of life and the vital shock of birth. It is signaled by the gaping mouth, as if the mother’s teat were suddenly torn from the infant lips.
Fear is also the principal motivating mood of the “solid” character. Paradoxically, the obsessively self-controlling and other-controlling “solid” character is founded on a fear of being controlled by others. And that fear is originally developed in the years of infancy, childhood, and adolescence-generally in a passive and rather infantile reaction either to the feeling or to the actual experience of being too much controlled and threatened by others, especially adults.
Sorrow is the primary mood of the rejected individual. Sorrow is especially associated with the second stage of life, the loss of self-security, and the loss of power over others on whom one depends. It is signaled by the grimace, the downturned and puckered mouth-as in the eliminative anal grunt, the end-game of oral dependency.
Sorrow is also the principal motivating mood of the “peculiar” character. The alternately idealistically self-controlled and chaotically self-indulgent “peculiar” character is founded on a basic and sorrowful feeling of being neglected. The chronic sorrow of the “peculiar” character is a yearning to be effectively touched. It is a call and even an hysterical need to be controlled and that sorrowful need is originally developed in the years of infancy, childhood, and adolescence generally in an hysterical and rather childish reaction either to the feeling or to the actual experience of being neglected, denied love, and denied a positive, controlling influence.
Anger is the primary mood of reaction to all that seems to justify fear and sorrow. It is especially associated with the third stage of life-which is characterized by the adolescent struggle with the motives of dependence and independence, and the aggressive effort toward genital victory. It is signaled by the tortured mouth with gnashing teeth, the facial display of genital shapes and genital agony. Everything of the first three stages of life is displayed in common egoic anger. Even egoic sex is full of rejection and anger-threatened by loss and sorrow, and convinced of fearful separation.
Anger is also the principal motivating mood of the “vital” character. The “vital” character is characteristically self-indulgent, vitally. The mood of this pattern is always rather rebellious. Indeed, even the most apparently carefree, self-pleasurizing “vital” character is dramatizing resistance and refusal. The “vital” character is founded on an angry reaction to controls and demands. The characteristic behavior-pattern associated with the “vital” character is a chronic effort to resist, refuse, or avoid the controlling influence of others on the personal bodily existence of the conditional self. And that angry mood is originally developed in the years of infancy, childhood, and adolescence generally in an aggressive and rather adolescent reaction either to the feeling or to the actual experience of being too much controlled and threatened by others, especially adults.
Truly human and adult maturity requires the transcending of the chronic and obsessive character patterns developed in the years of infancy, childhood, and adolescence. Truly human and adult maturity is the achievement of a balance between the motive toward control of the psycho-physical self and the motive toward motion of the psycho-physical self. Truly human and adult maturity requires self-control and a willingness to be even physically affected, emotionally touched, mentally influenced and controlled by others. Likewise, truly human adulthood requires the constant exercise the motive of real freedom.
The tendency to perceive existence as a problem, or to conceive and suffer an inherent conflict between control and freedom, must be transcended in wisdom. The “father-force” and the “mother-force” must both be discovered, accepted, and integrated into the psycho-physical patterns of your own real existence. When that integration is real and stable, such that the human pattern of your own body-mind is basically balanced, intelligent, self-disciplined, and also directly communing with my Avatarically self-transmitted divine spirit-presence-of love-bliss then the transition to practice of the way of the heart beyond the limits of the first three stages of life-and beyond the limits of the “original” devotional context of the fourth stage of life – has really been completed, and practice of the way of the heart in the fully technically responsible context of the “basic” fourth stage of life has been granted a full and stable basis. Therefore, it is the establishment of this both human and spiritual basis for maturing practice of the way of the heart that must precede the transition to the first actually seeing stage of the way of the heart.
There is no fullest integration of the frontal human personality until my Avatarically self-revealed divine spirit-presence fully infuses the surrendered body-mind with my divine love-bliss. Therefore, by means of my Avatarically self-transmitted divine spiritual grace, the wandering and self-contracted heart must find its own true “father” and “mother”.
Even the total body-mind must cling to my divine conscious light, calming breath and mind in love-bliss, if the ego-self and others are to be sublimed, all well and “bright”. Therefore, by means of my Avatarically self-transmitted divine spiritual grace, the wandering and self-contracted heart must find its own true husband -the “father” – revealing and “mother” revealing “son” of the only source of all-and-all.
The heart must surrender itself in listening love to the husbanding “bright” companion – and this love-surrender must become a truly me hearing and me-seeing yoga of devotional recognition-response to me.
The heart that hears me and sees me must meet the husband’s spirit mark, and many signs must appear before my work is “bright” and done.