Beezone Interview with Julie Anderson
(Formerly Kanya Samarpana Remembrance)
Jule – India, 2020
The following session is a letter Julie wrote clarifying her recent interview sessions addressing many of the errors being demonstrated within structures of Adidam (The Church of Adi Da Samraj).
An Address to the Present
Consequential Future of Adidam
“The life of the Siddhi in the Community depends upon devotees, not Gurus”
Adi Da Samraj
I have previously expressed to devotees and many devotees recently have asked about the address Beloved Bhagavan Gave to me about letting go of the responsibility to righten the Culture and the Institution. This dialog with Him occurred in and around 2004-5.
His Instruction to me was in response to my being unwell in relationship to the frustrations of His Work failing, my inability to make any difference, what I was observing about the lies being told to Him by the leadership and the general gathering and the lack of human integrity and injustices within the gathering and not being capable of embracing renunciation in His Intimate Sphere, as He was again asking me to do (along with Nick). The symptoms I was getting were debilitating in many different ways. It was a very detailed discussion. He Asked that I do what I needed to do to stay well and to not dissociate from Him, the Process directly with Him and to not dissociate from devotees and participate as I was able. This initiated a process of very intensive purification in terms of my direct relationship to Him rather than around the content of what I was bringing to Him. At this point in time, I feel very grateful for this admonition from Him in many ways. During this ordeal of continued growth (and lapsing too!) there was varied “content” to the ordeal of purification. Yet I can honestly say that what became obvious was that at heart, deep unchanging Love for Him and His devotees was deeper than what was being burnt off. In time and even stronger now is the capability to not dissociate from what arises in relationship to others and life. This saga of letting go, healing and growing beyond lasted for years, with a significant shift happening 5 years ago.
During and after 2005/6 He was still asking for us to prepare to live in His Sphere and serve Him as His renunciates. He also asked about my health quite regularly and about what I was doing.
After many Darshans and Notes on retreat in Calif/MOA/Tat Sunduram and seeing Him for the last time in 2006 at the MOA before He left for Fiji, Nick and I, per His Instructions moved back into Melbourne from Mt Eliza (a beach suburb on the outskirts of Melbourne), in an attempt to ‘fully” participate with the Melbourne Culture again. Sadly, I only become more and more unwell…until I was virtually dysfunctional. He was Aware of all of this, often sending His Love and Blessings. He has always been Aware of every detail of my life even when I was not at His Body Seat. His tangible and tacit Presence was never absent in my life. Devotees before and after His Mahasamadhi would suggest I send a Blessing request. It seemed odd to me to have to, as it was obvious, I was always in His Blessing Sphere. I also felt I had already been given so much and still I was unable to fully respond, so it felt un-Lawful to ask for more of His Regard. In retrospect, it would have been more lawful for me to have stayed in communication, so He did not have to ask about me.
God has zero influence, as you well know! God is simply the eternal or absolute Condition. In Itself, the Divine has no influence, no effect upon these karmic lives. They are going on according to their own laws. It is only when the Agency of the Divine appears in the various levels of manifestation that It can take responsibility for the transformation of these lives, these destinies. The authentic Spiritual master represents such Agency.
You must understand that the Guru is not of the kind that returns to the soup at death. The Guru is a specific Agent and He continues to have functions in the gross plane, in the subtle plane, in the causal plane, in all the transcendent planes. The Guru reaches down through all these dimensions and appears as an Effect, an Influence, in all places, independent of His gross consciousness.
All I am doing is Being Present. I have no material or mechanical influence upon you whatsoever, and yet, these experiences occur. Well, that is the Law. Such experiences occur without my intentional involvement with the mechanics of things. Just as this Influence arises during my life, It will continue to arise after my life. That Influence is not other than me. I am the root of It in my specific Function, not as the absolute soup, but in my specific Function, which is fundamentally unspeakable and not definable, but which is nevertheless real, concrete, and specific. my Function is absolutely identical to the Divine, and yet it is specific and unique. However, it is not in itself bound to the mechanics of things. The mechanics of things reveal my specific Function as efficiently as a computer.”
The Following is from a talk entitled “You Are Not That Either,
November 20, 1975
published in The Dawn Horse Magazine.
Question: So Your Influence remains even in other lifetimes for individuals once they are connected to You?
Adi Da Samraj: My Influence remains with those whose connection is with me, even those who are now on this earth and who do not know Adi Da in the body. That Influence is working on them at this moment. They are having dreams, they are having experiences because of my Work, yet they have never read a book by Adi Da, have never heard about Him, have never seen Him in a vision that they can remember! Nevertheless, my Work with them is just as specific as it is with you who know me in this body, and it is the same after the death of this body. The only apparent difference is that my Influence continues without the appearance of Adi Da in this manifest plane.
My relationship to Him over all these years from 1976 on was a very direct one, not Institutional nor as being part of the general Culture for any real extended periods of time. Even when I was “away” at a distance I was always under His Direct Guidance personally. This is how I have always felt and lived the relationship to Him as Siddha Guru. Even in 1992 the day I “left” He Said to me as He hugged me goodbye on the Porch of Hymns to Me; “NEVER forget your relationship to Me is a Spiritual one”. This was always felt, no matter how it ever seemed. This has been endlessly and sufficiently proven beyond any doubt whatsoever, even in the depths of “despair and deepest of purification”.
He Taught me the necessity and Gave me the ability to trust Him, no matter how it seemed and to therefore be honest with Him, no matter the consequences. This is the Reality Consideration my life has ALWAYS been as His devotee. Have I been a perfect devotee, No! I never ever have claimed that. Quite the opposite is abundantly and painfully clear to me.
What I am engaging in now is not about me, as ego, trying to achieve something for myself, as though I have a personal problem with Him or any devotee or life itself. I am NOT dramatizing some ridiculous emotional sexual oedipal drama of betrayal, competitiveness, victimization or wannabe fantasy of reunion with the two devotees in RSO office at present or the Gurukula. This has been gone beyond. This persistence and passion are about Him and His Work directly.
Anytime I returned to His House and in service after 1992, He expected me to serve to righten His Immediate Circumstance. I failed to do so then. This is what I am gratefully attempting to do now, again. This is what He expects all devotees to do. He Called for this endlessly (to the whole Gathering in His Avataric Discourses) in the last years of His Life. We are all “His sarvadhikaris” in that regard!
The way my specific sadhana and life has unfolded in relationship to Adi Da is not one I am entirely proud of and I am not exemplary. I can speak honestly and clearly, by His Blessing Grace and times of effective sadhana and purification engaged, about significant lessons learned and about His Leela and His Transmission. Exemplary practice cannot be demonstrated without His Immediate Circumstance being rightly served and truly set apart and this requires
True Authenticated governance and Samrajya and leadership extending from His Body Seat in relationship to a responsive Culture that manifests differently than simply a religion business. Any aspects of how I was able or not able to respond is a mysterious ordeal that cannot be duplicated by anyone. I made many errors and I do not recommend taking any aspect of what I confess as if it would be a good idea to attempt in any way. Only respond directly to Bhagavan Adi Da, demonstrate this responsive Yoga and be held accountable to those you can trust are likewise serious about Him and His Work, are open and honest, beyond what is presently being demonstrated.
“Without growth in one’s individual practice and its “spiritualization” an authentic culture, demonstrating a genuinely spiritual way of life can only develop (however rightly) as a social and earthly religious institution.”
Each devotee Process is unique and unknowable, especially if you are serious about Realization. The time of full authentic demonstration is yet to come. This will coincide with the Transformation He Called for and it will be obvious to all. While this requirement of authentication is a continuing struggle, this will eventuate. This is the Divine Reality Law, Siddhis of the Bright Bhagavan Adi Da ONLY. It will manifest via responsive devotees to His Divine Intervention, so it is a spontaneous ordeal, uncontrollable and unknowable in advance. Unique coinciding and convergences are required in RELATIONSHP of testing and proving. I am humbled and grateful to the depths of my being for His Heroic Submission and Revelation. I literally owe my life to Him.
I Am Retired from My Original (or First) Work—of Teaching and Self-Revelation by Means of Extraordinary Submission to would-be devotees and the “world”. My Divine Avataric Word of Teaching and Self-Revelation Is—now, and forever hereafter—Full, Perfect, and Completely Given. I have Spontaneously Retired into My Own (Always Prior, Native, egoless, Perfect, and Supremely Free) Disposition—without My originally Self-Presumed Teaching Obligations, and without My active First Impulse to Be Self-Revealed by Means of Self-Submission. In My Supremely Free Disposition, and Perfectly Retired to Me, I constantly bodily Self-Abide at Adi Da Samrajashram, My Always First and Final Hermitage and Blessing-Seat. I no longer also Wander from My Blessing-Seat—except I am not Fixed in mere “location”, and I Am forever now Extended by An Persistent Omni-Presence, all-and All-Pervading, while I Sit down and here to Lone.
“My Final Work Is Me—Alone”, The Aletheon, Part Twenty
What I am doing is not about the Institution and Culture as though I have a role to play in this way. It is about Him As the Revelation of Divine Self Reality, our egoic revisions and errors of abuse that continue; confining Him and desecrating His Body Seat that have everything to do with all of us no matter who we are or where we stand and play our roles in this pattern of arising. This call for honest open dialog and accountability is about Him and the direct relationship. He stands Free of all Structures and Formalities. This is where my fidelity to Him is focused.
If the RSO office and the Senior Sarvadhikari are not rightly aligned and it is obvious to many, should we stay quiet? (See: “To Date No One”). What kind of precedent does this set? And what precedent is set when such questions are responded with: you have no business asking such questions? Especially when this is the exact opposite communication He Gave to His gathering of devotees and endlessly to those closest to Him, in His attempt to establish a Sacred Order around Him? It sets the precedent that those on the top of the hierarchy are independent of being subordinate to Him, as Divine Reality Authority. He Said that the accountability to Him after His Mahasamadhi comes in the form of the Sangha, relationship. No genuinely serious devotee of the Heart and with true depth self-understanding would presume you can effectively grow outside the context of direct intimate devotional accountability, day in and day out. Especially if serving the role of Instrumentality. If you study His descriptions of a 7th Stage Realizer even then and only then is one inherently subordinate in relationship to the Divine Reality Person, as only then is there persistent ego transcendence. And then As He describes your life is entirely turned out into RELATIONSHIP, as a selfless servant. He Himself was ALWAYS fully and unqualifiedly present in relationship as the Avataric Incarnation Siddha Master Adi Da! A fully mature devotee would never assume virtual isolation is appropriate in this Way.
This Process is not about me. I am being targeted and scapegoated, just as many other are, to dismiss what is important to point out and address without fail. I am not inventing anything here, and what is said is from Him and His Word. This is His Process that is occurring…not mine. Also, there are hundreds of devotees who feel exactly as I do. It is just that I am not afraid to speak up now. Why? He has Asked for all devotees to serve Him this way. Reparation for what I did not do! Previously I was not mature enough nor strong enough nor clear enough to do so. To do so now is self-transcending yoga that He has made possible. Not me! Voicing these questions and challenges must be done for Him and to help serve His Hermitage, Treasures and Sacred Structures and devotees to be in True alignment. Doing this will help serve revisionist precedents from being perpetuated. All beings are called by Him to transcend the act of ego Mumming by being established in Divine Reality as a Prior Unity. This is the creative ordeal that yields the signs of His Accomplishing Power in the World.
There is no effective intimate devotional accountability at the Core of the Samrajya and Adidam. It is literally astounding to many that this is being argued to the contrary. I am daring to speak out of Love and attempt to truly help protect us all against our individual and collective insidious ego patterns, errors and revisions that continue to harm one another and His Work. I am not afraid of consequences relative to how they may affect “me” because the integrity of His Gathering in serving His Work is more important than anything. Especially in the Light of His Reflection of what He suffered in our egoic ignorance, demands and revisions that still are mumming away at a potentially catastrophic speed.
Adidam as it presents itself today is as it was when He was Alive, and much worse now. This is exactly what must change. I will continue to say this in every way possible with more and more detail and on the Beezone until the door opens for a dialog with the RSO Office and amongst all devotees, face to face and heart to heart in recognition of Him, managed in an effective way, that will allow for auspicious transformation. Otherwise He is still imprisoned and His Work in the world will continue to fail and the abuses and desecration will continue. There can be no authentic Culture and Mission to speak of and about if the Core is not rightly aligned and served. There is no question whatsoever that this negligence is what is occurring. Sit in Him now……can you hear His Shout? Do you really feel you can fake it? The seriousness of this charade and its negative effects on Him and the world should make us all shiver in our bones. We have no right to continue this drama.
At this time, I simply cannot and will not enter the “formalities’” Of “Institutionalized Narcissus” that has stolen and revised His Treasures and Work. I am not suggesting that anyone else choose to do the same. There is still the unambiguous need for the transformative turnabout to happen, that He ceaselessly Asked for. Yet, the refusal of governance and leadership to allow and facilitate this extremely important dialog, literally stops His Process from occurring. This does not mean that devotees cannot feel Adi Da and receive His Blessing and Instruction in all the many ways that are possible. Nor does this mean that most devotees are not engaged in a rudimentary from of devotional response, even for some more mature responsibility and thus reception may be occurring. This does not mean that services and gifts are not being offered to and for Bhagavan Adi Da’s Treasures, devotee Culture and Mission. Yet what He repeatedly pointed to, even from very early on in His Revelation Work, is that He needed Instrumentality in the form of a CIRCLE in enough significant numbers to ensure His Work would continue beyond a mere beginners Culture. He often characterizes this approach to Him as “religion business” given there tends to be a lack of seriousness in individuals who are happy to simply receive His Blessings for themselves and their lives without an impulse to Realize Him and thus be able to serve HIM DIRECTLY in reception and response of Him in His Profoundly Unique Spiritually Transcendental Yoga.
DIRECTLY He Stands Free. This is why the organizational aspect of the Samrajya was established, so that is was clear that Access to Him DIRECTLY was outside the Institutional and Organizational responsibilities and aspects of Adidam. This was meant to serve a very practical purpose and Primary Esoteric necessity by His being set apart from any liability of attempts to “own, know or control” Him and His Work. Again sadly, the Samrajya has followed suite along the same lines as the Institutionalized aspect of the “religion business” and has yet to truly Sacredly set Him apart. This is because the Gathering of devotees is not being governed by the body of devotees, He Called for that accountably and demonstratively serve as Instrumentality and Sarvadikharis. There cannot be one or even two Sarvadikharis attempting this service to Him. It does not effectively manifest this way. He tested this over and over and over again and even up to the day of His Mahasamadhi He Said this had not manifested as required.
One of the reasons it appears as though He seemingly acknowledged the contrary at times is because this is how He Worked and Revealed Himself, His Atma Nadi Shakti Yoga. He would allow and Bless and give devotees in the Way who were showing the possible advancing signs; yogically, of greater maturity and of a more serious impulse to serve and Realize Him the opportunity to accountably demonstrate this ability to DIRECTLY serve, care for and set Him apart, the gifts as required for His Transmission to flow beyond mere beginners Blessing Work. Yet if one studies and follows this Process of how His Revelation Work spontaneously unfolded, He will respond to and bring the realities to us as necessary and say it like it was and is. A paradoxical and often confounding “yes and no…maybe…absolutely not” Divine Play or Leela in and As Reality Itself. Presently there is the mythological revisionism that assumes He Blessed such advancement. It could not have happened since His Mahasamadhi because there is no CIRCLE of serious aspirants that have via His True Reality Consideration Process with the most mature elders (respected and acknowledged by all devotees) visibly, demonstrably and accountably showing the signs and the gifts He Defined as essential for anything beyond what He Acknowledged at the time of His Mahasamadhi. See: “The Nine Great Laws Of Radical devotion To Me”.
It can even be argued that the Culture has regressed in certain aspects of the Way based on many signs and on the revisionism He reflected to us when He was Passionately Shouting to us pointing to what we will do after His Mahasamadhi.*(“Do not Enact the False Cult of Adidam) Any argument to the contrary is simply based on lack of detailed sensitivity, education, study and maturity in recognition responsive self-understanding and Yogic practice. Likewise, the true growth of effective governance (in numbers of demonstrative accountability), leadership, and thus True Culture that IS HIM has yet to manifest. The esotericism of The Nine Laws can only be fully understood by those of advancement who would thus inherently and effortlessly understand and receive this Truth based in and granted by HIS Transmission of Radical Root Understanding, Prior Unity and Profound Recognition Response.
However, unfortunately the structure of the Samrajya, which primary Sacred purpose is to guarantee that the Nine Laws are rightly fully established at all times in order for most auspicious Access to be granted, likewise never fully manifested as it was meant to in the most auspicious form He Admonished.
He also indicates that the approach of beginners is understandable yet as He States it has nothing to do with any serious depth and recognition of HIM AS HE IS. If the more serious response, which He describes as one that must be characteristic of those who can lawfully relate to Him beyond the sheer beginners context of the Institutional Culture and Mission, is engaged He can serve those in the maturing and advancing stages of Hearing and Seeing and the Perfect Practice.
*Everything necessary for beginners has been provided by me.
You must make the culture and the organization out of it”
Adi Da Samraj, 2005
The difficulty at present is not only that all of this has yet to manifest fully. The difficulty is the stalemate caused by the refusal of depth Reality Consideration, in enough spontaneously coinciding numbers, with the most mature elders (formal or not at present) of the Gathering around such Profound Truths.
Therefore, I and others continue to “bark” about the fact that the present manifestation of the Gathering is not demonstrating the right signs and that this revisionism is not a precedent to keep in motion or set in stone in perpetuity. What has occurred since the Mahasamadhi is the continuation of what He said was NOT IT!
Not so funny is it that even thousands of individuals interested in, offering to support and responsive to Bhagavan Adi Da and also devotees, coming and going, on the outside of formalities have reflected such shortcomings consistently over the years and are still doing so (I am not speaking about individuals who have intended or intend to do us harm as a form of dramatizing uninspected victimization and revenge). This fall out is in part why numbers never grow and sustain themselves within the formal Institutional Structures.
“When the way of living becomes the active surrender of egoity, then the conditions of life will constantly prove the truth.”
“The Time-Tested Politics of Unity and the “Anti-Civilization” Politics of Individuation‘, Adi Da Samraj.
As a collective we have never gotten our act together as an authentic human and yogic Instrument of and as Reality Being; in “effortless and selfless” devotion and service to Adi Da Bright Siddha Being! We have yet to fully take these reflections into account in any honest open-hearted way. This is one of the dramatizations of a “cultic” approach to Bhagavan Adi Da and His Divine Self Revelation, World Work and Mission. Really a “no brainer” as many are saying while scratching their heads upon receiving heart blows of disrespect from so-called devotees of Adi Da the all-Inclusive Bright Reality Itself. All of what I just described was true while He was in His Physical Body. He even appealed to both “insiders and outsiders” as individuals and as a collective to “free Him” from the immature exploitation and abuse He was experiencing within the formal Structures! Where are these individuals right now?
I stand firm therefore to make this point: I simply cannot “officially” be part of a formal structure that is exhibiting this refusal and lie.
I will keep addressing this with many others until these realities change. In my heart this choice has more honest integrity than the games and lies and unhandled business being played out by some Adidam insiders and outsiders, no matter how good hearted and how endlessly hard they serve.
I am NOT suggesting anything about where I am in this Process with Him or that I am not complicit in these violations. Again, quite the opposite is true. I am passionate about serving to help us all respond as He Always Asked us to. Which in part means….no more dissociation, fakery and lies. There is no authentic context yet to evaluate anyone’s practice currently…never had been since His Mahasamadhi. If the Core governance can virtually invisibly self-pronounce advancement (in defiance of Siddha Guru Da’s Announcement to the entire Gathering to the contrary), hardly ever seen for evaluation by demonstrating practice in real human time, day in and day out, what precedent does this set?
To become part of the “formal” structures seems to mean I would have to shut up and allow the false face and lies, revisions and mockery to continue. Being told, just turn, He told you not to serve this way, “mind the business for which you came” WTF? I would apparently have to agree to be subordinate to a number of devotees that I am astonished by in observing the seeming inability on their part and others to see what is so clearly wrong and out of alignment. There is no authenticated Instrumentality. There is not visibly active RSO office in the gathering that has full integrity and is accountable to a circle of devotees who can hold them to core self-transcending yoga, particular to each personally. As I turn whole bodily to Him, this is my service to Bhagavan Adi Da. He has always expected this of me…. I can now do so without losing equanimity and recognize the fidelity to Him, that He Accomplished.
There are ridiculous rumors going around that I have heard through the grapevine. The lack of respect and Love by many who do know me (or so I thought), have either chosen to ignore me or make assumptions outside the auspicious necessity of direct devotional intimacy and relationship. My question is to those who assume to know me is: why would any devotee want to present to the RSO office and others that I or longtime elders or other devotees mean harm? I am continuously told that the RSO office is very afraid of me (whatever that really means). Some devotees have supported my hearts participation in this Process which came about through open hearted respect and Love in relationship to myself and others directly, about what is occurring. Why have devotees not relieved the RSO office and those on the Island of these false assumptions?
I will say once again: if the necessary conversations that need to occur directly with the RSO office about their personal practice and service does not happen soon within a trusted sphere of devotees who actually know them and have real intimate history (not just as servants and it does not have to include me) there will be more matters of a personal and legal nature revealed about both members of the RSO office. By not making this Process of open-hearted devotional dialog happen for them, the resistive Samrajya, the LRO leadership and “insider” devotees will cause personal business to become very “public” … the kind of “attention” they fear and assume they are protecting themselves from, while in part saying it is protection of Adi Da and His Treasures.
The Samrajya and LRO leadership and “insider” fawning devotees are enabling characteristic liabilities to be dramatized by both devotees in the RSO office. The precise liabilities Bhagavan Adi Da Himself Said should never be allowed to be dramatized and lived out on Him at His Body Seat have been being done during His Lifetime by many and ever since His Mahasamadhi. And as He Pointed out too many times to count, this abuse was played out on Him in the last years of His Life so He Addressed what would be potentially enacted post Mahasamadhi, unless there was a consequentially revolutionary transformative turnabout. His Passionate Prophetic Address has been ignored*(Mummery Recitations). Much of the cultural leadership and intimates know this and are not being honest when they say anything to the contrary. Likewise, those devotees who know this and are afraid to speak up are likewise culpable if they are not actively participating in some effective action to address these errors. He was infuriated that His so-called devotees and the Culture did not embrace His Instruction in this regard. For His Sake and for their sake and all devotees and the world.
Why is the Samrajya and leadership waiting to have to suffer the regret that the necessity of being held to account had not been facilitated sooner. Hopefully these dialogs are roundly, fully and Lovingly engaged sooner than later. Why is the Samrajya and LRO waiting for this to have to happen? This is not protection. The content around these ego patterns and characteristics will come out in ways that it would be best not to. I am NOT the one who is preparing to take such actions. I am the one warning all that this IS GOING to happen, without fail. Act now so that you will not have to regret the day, which I pray never comes, when I say, “I tried to warn you.”
Clearly all devotees need to be addressed and held to account and evaluated in the same Love Light, because we are all complicit in allowing the Mummery revision to continue. The reason I keep focusing at the “Core” (His Body Seat of Being), as RSO Office and Samrajya and LRO is because this is Where Bhagavan Adi Da Said the transformation and accountably demonstrative Practice had to occur in enough numbers first as true Sarvadhikaris, Instrumentality and as Real Renunciates. He Said this is necessary for His Most Profound Transmission Work to survive in perpetuity. This was what He was always looking for, beyond simply Granting His Blessings to beginners and all beings.
“HIS Eternal Stand”
Julie Anderson, 1980