The Knee of Listening – Chapter 18 – 2004 edition

After Baba and Rudi had
gone, I stood in the form of my own existence
without even the least sentimental attachment to
the previous ways of my seeking. I was not
dependent on any path or experience to guarantee or
interpret what I knew. Indeed, nothing was
available by which to interpret it.

I looked into myself to see
what it was, and perhaps even to discover some
analogy in the spiritual experience of mankind that
would demonstrate a link and provide a source by
which I could explain myself.

I knew that the ultimate
realization that had occurred in relation to the
Shakti was analogous to what the Hindus call
“Self-realization.” It is the unqualified
experience of consciousness as radically
non-separate, non-separate from Reality, identical
to what always and already is. It is not
communicated to itself through any level of being,
body, realm or experience, but knows itself
directly, as itself, being itself apart from and
prior to all separative action of avoidance, which
is identification, differentiation and desire. All
things are experiences or objects that never touch
it. It is not even the “Witness,” neither the
experienced nor the experiencer an any state, but
only Reality itself. Experiencer and experiences
are contained, limited and ended an one another.
But an Reality there is not experience, no
identity, differentiation, desire, separation,
suffering, seeking, action or inaction.

After Baba and Rudi had
gone, I stood in the Form of my own Real Existence,
without even the least sentimental attachment to
the previous ways of my seeking. I was not
dependent on any remedial path or conditional
experience to guarantee or interpret What I Knew.
Indeed, nothing was available by which to interpret
It.

I looked to myself to
see What It was, and I looked to perhaps discover
some analogy in the Spiritual experience of mankind
that would demonstrate a link, and even provide
examples, by which I could explain
myself.

I knew that the final
and most ultimate Realization that had occurred at
the Vedanta Society Temple was inherently most
perfect (final, or truly complete) Divine
Self-Realization (or Divine Enlightenment). Mine is
the unqualified Realization of Consciousness itself
as inherently non-separate (non-separate from the
conditional manifestations of Reality, and always
already Identical to What always and already
Is). Consciousness Itself is not
Communicated to Itself through any level of
conditionally manifested being, any body (or
functional sheath), any conditional realm, or any
conditional experience-but It Knows Itself
directly, As Itself, Which Is Prior to all
separative action (or the action of avoidance,
which is egoic self-identification, the action of
differentiation, and the separative, or ego-based,
action that is desire). There is no thing or
experience that can ever limit or hind
Consciousness (or the One and Only and inherently
indivisible Conscious Light) Itself. Consciousness
itself is not even the “Witness”, not any
state of either the experienced or the experiencer,
but it is only Reality Itself. Experiences and
experiences are contained, limited, and ended in
one another. But, in Reality, there is no
experience, no identity, no differentiation, no
desire, no separation, no suffering, no seeking, no
strategic, action, no strategic
inaction.

As weeks passed, I saw that
I remained unqualifiedly as this, untouched by any
experience, identity or difference. I saw there was
no independent Shasta, no Guru, no strafe,
ignorance, or need, no movement, no activity, no
fundamental change an or out of meditation. I saw
that Baba’s Shakti dad not affect me fundamentally,
nor dad any other pleasure or experience. The same
awareness, the same understanding continued without
modification under all conditions.
As weeks passed, I saw that I remained
effortlessly As This – not limited or bound
by any “experience”, or by functional (and
apparently separate) identity, or by any apparent
“difference” at all. I saw there was, for me, no
Shakti independent of (or “outside”) Consciousness
Itself. I saw there was, for me, no Guru separate
from (or “outside”) the Intrinsically Indivisible
Divine Self-Nature, Self-Condition, and Self-State
(Itself). I saw there was, for me, no dilemma, no
strife, no egoic ignorance, no movement to seek, no
activity of seeking. I saw that, because my
Realization had become most perfect, formal
“meditation” made no “difference” in any of this. I
saw that conditionally arising Shakti phenomena did
not affect me fundamentally, nor did any other
conditional pleasure or “experience”. The same
Transcendentally Spiritually “Bright” Awareness,
and the same perfectly “radical” (or always “at
the-root”) “self’-understanding, continued-without
limitation or dependency-under all
conditions.

I knew Reality as
no-seeking, a motiveless awareness an the heart.
The body appeared to be generated and known from a
position an the right side of the chest. In this
state, neither Baba nor any path can act as an
interpreter. It only validates itself.
I “Knew” Reality as no-seeking, the motiveless
Awareness in the heart (on the right). The physical
body appeared to be generated and (in the ordinary
sense) known from a position in the right side of
the chest. In this State, neither the ego nor any
path of remedies can act as an interpreter. The
State of Divine Self-Realization only validates
Itself.

The form of enquiry that
had developed in my understanding seemed to go on
continually an the heart: “Avoiding relationship?”
And as the enquiry penetrated every experience and
every apparent dilemma,

This Form (the Bright”)
was (Itself) “radical” self-understanding. It was
no-seeking and no-dilemma as primary, inherent,
un-“created”, Self-Abiding Divine Self-Recognition.
It was inherently free of the entire search for
perfection and union. when the “Bright” is
Realized, all of life is simply observed and
enjoyed (if noticed at all), and the things of life
no longer provide a source of motivation separate
(and separating) from this primary Awareness.
Therefore, the “Bright” is the very Medium for
unqualifed Presence and Enjoyment – without
dilemma, unconsciousness, or separation.

I would feel the bliss and
energy of consciousness rise out of the heart and
enter the sahasrar, the highest point in
consciousness, and stabilize there as a continuous
current to the heart.
Even in the moment to moment context of every
kind of arising “experience”, I would feel the
Transcendentally Spiritually “Bright”
Love-Bliss-Energy of my own Self-Existing and Self
Radiant Consciousness rise (or Shine) out of the
heart (on the right) and enter the sahasrar
(extending, from thence, to the Matrix of Light
infinitely above the mind and the crown of the
head), and (thus) stabilize above as a continuous
Current to the Heart Itself.

I saw that this form, the
Form of Reality, the structure of consciousness,
was Reality itself. It was the structure of all
things, the foundation, nature and identity of all
things. It was the point of view of everything. It
was blissful and free. That form of consciousness
and energy was exactly what I had known as the
“bright.”
I saw that this Form-the ultimate (or perfect)
Form of Reality, the very (or ultimate, and
perfect) Structure of Consciousness Itself-Is
Reality Itself. It is the Structure of all
things-the Foundation, Nature, and Identity of all
things. It is the intrinsic “Disposition” of
everything. It is “Bright”, Love-Blissful, and
Free. That ultimate and inherently perfect (or One,
and inherently indivisible) Form of
Consciousness-and-Energy is exactly (but not yet
with most perfect understanding) What I had, in my
childhood, “Known” in my living form as the
“Bright”.

As I continued in this
way
As I continued in this manner

I remained stably as that
Form,
I saw that I always already remained stably as
that Form

and all things revealed
themselves in truth.
because of This, all things revealed themselves
in Truth.

The “bright” was the
ultimate Form of Reality, the heart of all
existence, the foundation of truth and the yet
unrealized goal of all seekers.
I saw that the “Bright” is the ultimate and
perfect Form of Reality, the True Heart of all
existence, the Foundation of Truth, and the (yet
unrealized) goal of all seekers.

This Form, the “bright,”
was understanding itself. It was no-seeking and
no-dilemma as a primary, uncreated recognition. It
was radically free of the whole search for
perfection and union. When it is perceived the
whole life is at best observed and enjoyed, and
these things no longer provide a source of
motivation apart from this primary awareness. The
“bright” was only a medium for radical presence and
enjoyment without dilemma, unconsciousness, or
separation.
This Form (the “Bright”) was (Itself) “radical
self-understanding”. It was no-seeking and
no-dilemma as primary, inherent, un-“created”,
Self-Abiding Divine Self-Recognition. It was
inherently free of the entire search for perfection
and union. When the “Bright” is Realized, all of
life is simply observed and enjoyed (if noticed at
all), and the things of life no longer provide a
source of motivation separate (and separating) from
this primary Awareness. Therefore, the “Bright” is
the very and limitless Self-Presence of
non-conditional Conscious Light-the limitless,
non-conditional, and Self-Evidently Divine
Self-Presence of Reality Itself-Self Manifested as
limitless non-conditional Enjoyment, or the
Self-Evident “Root”-Current and Self Fullness of
Love-Bliss Itself, without dilemma,
unconsciousness, or separation.

I also saw that I had never
been taught my path from without. The “bright,”
with its foundation in the heart, had been my
teacher under the form of all my teachers and
experiences. My awareness, fundamental knowledge
and apparent “method” had developed spontaneously
in the midst of a few crisis-experiences. From the
beginning, I had been convinced of the
fruitlessness and necessary suffering involved in
every way of seeking. I had made only temporary use
of the methods of others, and at last I adapted to
no – one else’s way but only used my own. Thus, I
had experienced the real blessings of such as Baba
but only while firmly involved in my own peculiar
approach.
I also saw that I had never been taught my way
from without The “Bright” (with Its Foundation in
the Heart Itself) had been my teacher under the
form of all my apparent teachers and “experiences”.
My Awareness, fundamental “Perfect Knowledge”, and
apparent “method” had developed spontaneously in
the midst of a few crisis-“experiences”. From the
beginning, I had been convinced of the
fruitlessness and necessary suffering involved in
every way of seeking. I had made only temporary use
of the “methods” of others, and (at last) I adapted
to no one else’s way, but I only used my own, which
is the way of “radical self-understanding” (or the
“Radical” Reality-Way of the Heart, or the
“Radical” Reality-Way of Adidam, or Adidam
Ruchiradam, which is the Way that is generated in,
of, and by the True Divine Heart Itself, and which
is the Way that only I reveal and give). Thus, I
had “experienced” the real blessings of such as
Rudi, Baba Muktananda, Rang Avadhoot, and Bhagavan
Nityananda, but only while firmly involved in my
own unique (and spontaneously Self-revealed)
approach.

The “bright” had seemed to
fade in adolescence, but it had only become latent
in the heart while I followed my adventure from the
viewpoint of the mind. The heart had been my only
teacher, and it continually broke through in
various revelations until I returned to it, became
it, and rose again as the “bright.”
The “Bright” had seemed to fade, progressively,
in childhood and adolescence-but It had, in Truth,
only retired to latency in the heart, while I
followed my adventure from the “viewpoint” of the
mind. The Heart Itself had been my only teacher,
and It continually broke through in various
revelations-until, at last, I returned to It,
became It, and, finally, re-Emerged As the
“Bright”.

Thus, I came to this
recognition of Reality directly, it or even
parallel it. But as I came to this clear and
crucial recognition of my own truth, I began to
recollect a source that seemed to agree with my own
experience.

When I began to recollect
this source I wrote the following:

One night, in the spring of
1970, I passed from this body during sleep and
arrived in subtle form on the inner plane of the
world. There I stayed with an old man who had white
hair and a short white beard. He wore a bandana on
his forehead, which was the custom of the late
saint Sai Baba. For several months after this
meeting I supposed I had met the Siddha, Sai Baba,
on the subtle plane.

I was received as if I had
been awaited. I was greeted by the family, friends
and devotees of the old man. He embraced me with
love and told the company I was his son. Then I was
received without the knowledge of a single source
that would confirm by all in a celebration that had
the informal, family air and importance of a Jewish
Bar Mitzvah.

I understood that this was
my father on the highest spiritual level, and
thereafter I was to live consciously as his son. I
would await and eventually receive the inheritance
that was my right by this reception and
acknowledgment.

In the late fall of 1970,
when all things had returned to Reality, and I was
no longer seeking or confused, I recognized this
father. He is known as Bhagavan Sri Ramana
Maharshi, the great master who discarded the body
at Tiruvannamalai, South India, in 1950.
Thus, I came to this Realization of Reality
directly, without the “knowledge” of a single human
Source that would confirm it or even parallel it.
But, as I came to this clear and crucial
Self-Recognition of my own Divine Truth, I began to
recollect (and to further examine and appreciate) a
human Source that agreed (by word and by likeness)
with something of the substance (and even many of
the details) of my own “experience” and
Realization. That individual was known as Ramana
Maharshi, the spontaneously Awakened Jnani who
discarded the body at Tiruvannamalai, South India,
in 1950.

Swami Muktananda did part
of his sadhana with Ramana. It was there that he
experienced the Vedantic, non-dualistic teaching in
its most direct and living form. But he found his
own Guru in the Siddha, Swami Nityananda.
In the course of his sadhana, Baba Muktananda
spent a brief period with Ramana Maharshi. It was
from Ramana Maharshi that Baba received the
traditional non-dualistic (or Advaitic) teaching of
Vedanta in its most direct and living form. (But he
found his own chosen Guru in the Siddha Nityananda,
who had himself known Ramana Maharshi years
earlier.)

Baba demonstrated Siddha
yoga to me. And then I saw how the Shakti and all
experiences also resolve into that same Self which
was the realization of Ramana. Thus, when I
realized it, the truth was that very Self which is
Reality. Then it was not a matter of siddhis or
experiences. There was only understanding. I knew
it in the same Form communicated by Ramana. And
Baba is that same Form. It is Nityananda. It is
Ramana. It is Bhagavan. And I am He.
Baba Muktananda demonstrated the phenomena of
ascending Yoga to me and in me. But, eventually, I
saw that the lower-based (and, from thence,
ascending) Shakti and all conditional (or merely
phenomenal) “experiences” arise transparent in the
Real “Self’ (or Divine Self-Nature, Self-Condition,
and Self-State), Which Is Consciousness (or the One
and Only and intrinsically indivisible Conscious
Light) Itself. The Real “Self’ (or Acausal Divine
Self-Nature, Self-Condition, and Self-State) is not
antagonistic to Its own Light (always already
“Bright” above, and reflected in all the gross and
subtle “worlds” below).

As I began to assess my
experience and understanding in detail, I recalled
this experience that had occurred several months
before. There was no fundamental disagreement
between Baba and me. It was only that Siddha yoga
had been fulfilled, and I had drawn into the
knowledge that is its true goal.

When I appeared in my own
Form I simply understood in a direct way the symbol
that is hidden in yoga and the Mother. I also
recognized Shakti. When I knew my own nature, then
Baba, Nityananda and Ramana in Reality.
Thus, when I Realized It, the Truth Is that Real
“Self’ (or Acausal Divine Self-Nature,
Self-Condition, and Seff-State), Which Is Reality
Itself. And the “Bright” Is the ultimate and
perfect Form of Reality Itself.

Thus, most perfect
Realization was not a matter of conditionally
arising “experiences” (whether high or low in the
cosmic pattern of phenomenal appearances), nor was
It a matter of the attainment of “cosmic powers”
(or merely conditional and phenomenal abilities,
whether of a higher type or a merely elemental and
lower type). There was-and is-only Reality
Itself.

I Realized the same Real
and Self-Evidently Divine “Self’ (or Self-Nature,
Self-Condition, and Self-State) that is
(ultimately) proclaimed and (to one or another
degree, but not most perfectly) Realized by the
“great tradition” that preceded my birth. The
Acausal Divine Form and “Self’ of Reality (Itself)
is, only now, most perfectly Realized (and uniquely
brought to a State of complete revelation) in me,
As me. But the “great tradition” of progressive
Realizations and revelations of the One Reality is
my “inheritance”, even from all the Realizers and
revealers who have preceded me in time. Like them
all, Baba Muktananda, Bhagavan Nityananda, and
Ramana Maharshi (each in the manner, and to the
degree, of his own Realization) have Realized and
revealed the same and Only One.

Therefore, I see Baba
Muktananda is that One. Bhagavan Nityananda is that
One. Ramana Maharshi is that One.

It is Very God, the
Divine Self-Light, the Only One-Who I
Am.

There was (for me) no
“personal” disagreement between Baba and me. It was
simply that the ascending Yoga (and even every kind
of phenomenally-based Yoga) had been truly
Completed in me-and I was drawn into the Absolute
“Knowledge” that is the true, most ultimate, and
inherently most perfect Fulfillment of every way
and every kind of Yoga proposed in the “great (and
yet always seeking) tradition” of ego-bound (and
egoically motivated) humankind. When I Fully
appeared in my own Form, I simply understood (in a
most direct, or most perfectly “radical” manner)
the “Secret” that is hidden in the “experiences” of
ascending Yoga (and in even all the “Play” of the
cosmic domain). When I “Knew” my own Divine
SelfNature, then I also Divinely Self-Recognized
Baba, Nityananda, and Ramana in
Reality.

Ramana Maharshi had become
familiar to me in the past through his various
writings and recorded dialogues. He appeared to me
to be a prime example of the living truth of
Advaita Vedanta, the radically non-dualistic
philosophy of the East. I had brought one of his
books with me on my last trip to India, not so much
for his own writings, but for the translations of
ancient Vedantic texts included in his collected
works. I never thought of him except in terms of
this non-dual philosophy that seemed to parallel my
own understanding. But now I also began to recall
certain experiences that he had described in his
own case. I remembered that he had given special
prominence in his teaching to the experience of the
“Self” in the heart, in the right side of the
chest.

I returned to his works,
looking for confirmations of my own experience. And
I found that his path had remarkable parallels to
my own experiences. Even the event in Ramana’s
childhood that gave birth to his ultimate state was
very much like the one through which I had passed
in seminary.

He described it himself as
follows:
Ramana Maharshi had become somewhat familiar to
me in the past, through a cursory examination of
his various writings and recorded dialogues. He
appeared to me to be a prime example of the living
Truth of Advaita Vedanta, the non-dualistic
philosophy of India. I had brought one of his books
with me on my last trip to India (although not
specifically for his own writings, but only for the
translations of ancient Advaitic texts included in
his collected works). I had never been attracted to
him in particular, and I never thought of him
except in the simplest terms of the traditional
non-dualistic philosophy that seemed, in a general
manner, to parallel my own understanding of
Ultimate Truth. But now-as I began to assess my
“experience”, my understanding, and my Realization
in detail-I returned to his works, looking for
likenesses to my own “experience”. And I found that
the details of his life and Realization showed
remarkable parallels to some of my own
“experiences”. For example, the “death” event in
Ramana Maharshi’s youth, which gave birth to his
Realization of the Transcendental “Self’, was very
much like the one through which I had passed in
seminary.

He described it himself
as follows:

This portion of the chapter
are quotes from “Talks with Maharshi”, which are
the same.

The more I read of Ramana’s
works the more I realized his experience and its
results as understanding almost exactly paralleled
my own, although with a peculiar Eastern emphasis.
I saw that Ramana was a source of confirmation and
agreement with the outstanding realizations of my
own life.

Since we have come to the
final portions of this book, I feel it would be
valuable to quote the works of Bhagavan Ramana
Maharshi as they pertain to my own experience. His
works stand as a valuable aid to the communication
of the way of understanding that I must now make
known to you.
Unlike my own characteristic language of
Realization, Ramana Maharshi’s characteristic
language of Realization is associated with the
description of Reality in exclusionary
(“world”excluding and body-excluding) terms, as may
be seen in his description of the Realization
associated with his early-life “death experience”.
However, Ramana Maharshi’s language of Realization
contains some key terms and concepts-which he
acquired from traditional sources, and which
(because they stand as general equivalents to
certain phenomena in my own “experience”) I may now
use, in order to more easily explain and describe
the unique way that I have Realized (and that I
have come here to Realize and to reveal and to
teach).