STAY IN POSITION OF SELF-KNOT
Adi Da Samraj
(Audience comment)
Adi Da Samraj: What if you relax that perception too? In other words, what if there is no contraction whatsoever? If there is no contraction, then you are not really experiencing on some inherent sense realizing what is because you’re not adding anything. There’s no you in the active sense affecting what is. You’re not experiencing what is through any kind of medium of thought or sensation. It’s just it.
If you feel it utterly and the perceptual mind isn’t even aware, your own physical form relaxes and there are no boundaries and no separate self. There are levels of emotion in it that follow rather formless positive emotions and negative emotions. It’s just another modification of energy you feel through each of those. It is absolutely nothing to what is.
There’s a kind of anxiety at the root of it. That’s the ego knot. Feel through it. See how much further you have to go to allow it completely. So you have to do the sadhana you see (heavy sighs from audience).
(Audience comment)
If you really feel that knot, you don’t want to feel it but it is the ground of your ordinary life. You try to distract yourself possibly through seeking and self-indulgence and what not but if you really find out about yourself, find this knot, find what your real experience is, then you wouldn’t want to put up with that.
It will oblige you to do sadhana, to feel constantly more and more beyond it. Life is inherently by law sadhana, God witness, going beyond separate self. Generally people don’t seem to know anything about that. So by grace you may become aware of it and will no longer be willing to be distracted by your cover-up to keep yourself somehow or other unaware of it, becoming buried in a superficial peripheral in your mind your body your feelings.
But all the time you are motivated by choice seeking something or other and you’ve forgotten what you are seeking, or in one moment you are rather suspect to the particular thing but always avoiding the knowledge the discovery of your own action that is producing all of that.
So it’s grace to find it out but it is not in itself graceful. In other words it is not a real pleasure to find this knot if you must do sadhana having found it out, otherwise maybe you’ll forget a little bit again by getting very superficial but you’ll give up the opportunity to deal with it.
Truly you are only willing to feel that knot that motivates you when you simultaneously gracefully discover what transcends it and by being given a wisdom that communicates itself to you so you know how to go beyond it. Otherwise individuals will automatically disassociate from this depth unless they can somehow come to terms with it through the graceful discovery of what transcends it and the finding of wisdom to deal with it.
So all those things coincide and all of a sudden you find you’re able to feel this thing that motivates you, this knot, this disturbance because you know there is something you can do about it, then there is the what to realize is beyond it.
But still the sadhana is a matter of actually dealing with this disease. In other words, the religious life this way in particular is not about consolation really and distraction and so forth in the conventional sense, in the ego supporting sense.
So the process moment to moment goes beyond the self-contraction particularly as hearing awakens. That’s when there is most profound understanding knowing of this self-contraction and that it is your own activity but even the sadhana from the beginning is about going beyond this knot and avoiding it through conventional mindedness and consolation and such.
So the actual process is to stay in place in this place of self-surrendering to me to the point of self-forgetting communion with me, true going beyond it. It’s that from the beginning, not really after hearing. Even from the beginning it is so. But you have to understand that that is what the sadhana is about or you will miss the point and think that religious life is about consolation or mere behavior and so forth.
You are to stand in that position of that knot feeling your own disease, motivation but that means you have to endure it. There’s not only the fundamental knot itself. There’s all the reflections in the body mind, tendencies of one kind or another and so on.
You have to endure the purification of these things, the standing in the knot position sensitive to all the limitations of the disposition and surrender to me to the point of forgetting it, relinquishing it, keeping the faculties all focused in me in this communion.
Only then do you make this knot obsolete and you initially go through a process of purification where the resultant knots, the different kinds of behaviors, attitudes and so forth that bind you appear. These must be purified through the initial stages of the sadhana even up to the perfect practice. So the initial sadhana is purifying and it is necessarily then a matter of being in touch with this knot in life difficulties and so on, all tendencies that would make life difficult instead of dramatizing them.
Maintain the discipline of this way and practice this communion every moment. In this manner you will be purified by this communion with me in all those areas that are relaxed forgotten disciplined so that more and more the practice becomes extraordinarily concentrated not in peripheral matters of experiencing and so on but in the root itself and then the perfect practice can begin so that when sufficient purification has occurred there is this extraordinary concentration but suddenly my instruction about the witness becomes inherently obvious and thereafter not something that can be forgotten. It’s not really a thought you see. It’s a noticing that you never forget. It’s a noticing even beyond the mind. You can notice it of course for a moment if I call you to.
Isn’t it true right now (audience affirmation) about what is arising you will be witness of it? (more affirmations from audience) but to stand in the witness position itself truly requires purification of attention and therefore the bondage signs in the body mind altogether and in life experience.
So sadhanas is tapas. You must be in the place of the knot sensitive to the limitations in your own disposition but in every moment instead of dramatizing that, disciplining it, surrendering it to me, entering in the communion with me by forgetting. The content that is simply the garbage result of not living in truth in the fullest so it must be made obsolete. All the modifications of the fundamental reality must be purified and transcended.
What there is to realize is the unconditional reality, the reality that is always already the case even now. Now you are preoccupied with the modifications of that reality, of that divine reality distracted by them and disassociated from the fundamental reality but by this very knot.
As soon as you enter into death no superficiality as you did in the first part of this consideration. You are not doing so in the fullest or stable sense. As soon as you relax this fundamental feeling you feel a knot there. You don’t simply feel the inherent love bliss of reality but you do feel it flowing through it but you are experiencing this knot in the midst of it. To realize the divine self-condition you have to go beyond that knot so it’s not really a matter of thinking, accumulating experience and so on.
This is a matter of being established in that place surrendering to me to the point of self-forgetting and this allows a course of purification and development that becomes the perfect practice and ultimately the 7th Stage demonstration.
It is truly an inevitable process. It will go by its appropriate stages and so forth unless you step outside the process itself and become superficial again. But if you stay with the process itself as I’ve given it to you altogether then the development is inevitable.