Self-Observation
versus Self-Watching
“A process that fundamentally can’t be described and
therefore understood, A Beezone study Adi Da
Samraj (Bubba Free John) 1974 and 1975 “The process of Self-Observation takes place in
relationship to the teaching, the Guru in sadhana.
Tendencies (the machine of mind and body) are brought face
to face with the Argument and the Freedom of the Guru. Face
to face, confounded in Satsang, The liberating Crisis of
Understanding.” Self-
observation must become summary. It must become fundamental
to the whole of your life and therefore your sadhana, then
it can become the principle of your conscious approach to
your life from moment to moment. Self-watching or viewing
some fragment of your life can’t, it’s not significant
enough, is not central enough. Something comes up in the
next moment and you haven’t accounted for that. So you’ve
got to see it again. Self-observation is central,
summary. This seminar
today is intended to be a lesson relative to
self-observation. We could get into all kinds of complicated
descriptions about things, but what this seminar should
serve in you, is this lesson about self-watching and how it
differs from self-observation. You will tend to
identify the process of Understanding in the form of
self-observation with what is commonly the game of
self-watching, with analyzing yourself, with collecting
information about yourself, and so forth. Looking for
insights into your behaviors, thought patterns and feelings.
These old patterns that are continually arising. These kinds
of things will take place in any case because they are quite
normal to everyday living. They are conventional aspects of
your life and if your are a practitioner, your sadhana. Your
continued error is that you tend to identify self-watching
with self-observation, with the affair of Understanding. So
this seminar today is to serve as a lesson relative to that
particular tendency. In your stage of
sadhana, as it is maturing to the point of enquiry you must
clearly understand the difference between self-watching and
self-observation. When you see yourself doing something,
which is commonly self-watching, collecting information and
having insight based upon information, analyzed insights and
so forth, when you are doing that, that is not
self-observation. If that can become very clear to you then
this seminar has served its purpose. The purpose of this
seminar is not to go on and describe in endless elaborated
detail what self-observation is and what a moment of
self-observation is. That would become poetic or become some
concept you would apply to yourself and make a method.
Sadhana is a practical affair. You must resort again to the
practical form of your sadhana and lessons will appear. That
is the nature of sadhana. You must cease to
identify the whole game of self-watching with Understanding.
Today we’ve just approached it from many different
directions to help make that differentiation, help you make
that distinction. We shouldn’t end this discussion tonight
until it is clear to you, apparent and simply obvious to you
that self-watching is not the conscious process. If it isn’t
clear to you on the basis of everything that you’ve gone
through today, then you should ask some questions about
that. If it’s clear to you, then we don’t have to go
ever it. The argument of the Guru suddenly makes a point of some kind without your having tried to get it on as a moment of insight. Well, that is the self-observation that I am talking about. It takes place not when you are strategically presenting yourself as a witness to watch yourself, but in moments when you are free of that exercise, in which you are like a mirror to your own event, and suddenly the process of your life shows itself to you. You reflect it. You simply reflect it. You no longer are interfering with the process. It simply shows itself in consciousness and there is comprehension, instant insight. This is the true quality of the self-observation that I am talking about, not the method of analyzing experiences. Self-observation is absolutely a key principle in the affair of understanding. July 26, 1975 –
Bubba Free John (Adi Da Samraj) – Dissolution
of Vital Shock Notes:
Insight whereby what you might notice in
yourself is undone. A solution in which you become dull,
self-concerned, and problematic about what you
notice. Not a method of practice A method of intentional technique of
practice. Occurs when you are not present as a self,
watching. Generated from abstracted “witness” point of
view. Occurs in natural, functional moments of
self-forgetting when you are living the discipline
in Satsang. Occurs when you stand back, see yourself, and
become disgusted or decide to do something. Seated in Consciousness Seated in the brain-mind Yields instant comprehension of your activity of
avoidance. Yields data, information about yourself, and
insight based on analyzing information. Radical insight into self and the avoidance of
relationship. Self Analysis See the self and the contraction and the “great
space in which contraction occurs.” You realize or
feel what is prior to contraction. See the self and feel contraction Become responsible for self contraction. Remain irresponsible for self contraction. Self-observation in the manner I use the term
can not be done strategically, methodically from a
philosophical point of view The only reason why one would observe one’s
self, watch one’s self, is by reaction to the sense
of dilemma, by reaction to the felt problem. Self-observation is absolutely a key principle
in the affair of understanding, but it is not
self-watching. assume the, point of view of the mind, the
conscious mind, the mental, mental-mind, and
self-watching life. It may not be initiated as a kind of solution or
motivated by the usual anxieties that one has in
the midst of problems, in the midst of this sense
of dilemma. All human beings, unless they are vegetables,
idiots, engage in this strategy consistently,
constantly in every moment of life Self-observation is
something you may do at random and within such a
process you suddenly see something, comprehend
something We may feel that that strategy is justified and
do it professionally as a technique in our daily
life as a kind of meditation It takes place not when you are
strategically presenting yourself as a
witness to watch yourself, but in moments when
you are free of that exercise, in which you are
like a mirror to your own event, and suddenly the
process of your life shows itself to you. You
reflect it. The vital also has a mind, a brain of a kind, in
the solar plexus. And so when we take on the
analytical strategy of watching, self-watching, we
opt for the point of view of the thinking brain in
the skull and watch all of the manifestations that
are expressed unconsciously and subconsciously
through the vital brain in the solar plexus. You no longer are interfering with the process.
It simply shows itself in consciousness and there
is comprehension, instant insight. All of the strategies assumed from that kind of
solid point of view of the mind in itself are
limiting. occurs spontaneously as a random event. They are ways of controlling the vital from the
point of view of the thinking mind. They don’t work
then. They’re just a kind of solution. It occurs as insight, the undoing of solid
conditions through the sudden appearance of
consciousness, free consciousness, free life. It’s possible by resting in the thinking brain
or in that point of view to feel somehow liberated
from vital life, and that’s why the tendency toward
the solid position is very strong in some people
because it gives them the sense of being free of
the implications, at any rate, of vital shock and
of the whole threatening play of vitality. watch all of the manifestations that are
expressed unconsciously and subconsciously through
the vital brain in the solar plexus. They are able to step out of it entirely into
this super-analytical position in which they are
basically unaffected, in which they can willfully
stand on top of the vital. we suddenly comprehend something about the
nature of that total play. And when that
comprehension occurs, we are, at least for the
moment, seated in the dimension of consciousness
itself, not in the seat of some function, some
brain, some strategic position. it has a conventional value. It can be of use in
the scheme of sadhana. It’s just that
self-observation relates to this process of
understanding. Self-watching is not, self-watching
or just any kind of way of gathering data useful in
conventional terms is useful enough at the
conventional level of sadhana. real self-observation then doesn’t occur in the
thinking mind. you will watch yourself all the time. There are
that specific things you may notice about yourself
that are completely useful, that have nothing
whatever to do with your illumined
consciousness. It occurs when the thinking mind is relaxed,
naturally involved in functioning, being a
reflector rather than an aggressor, a presence, a
self. On those occasions we grasp the nature of the
entire play that is our humanity. And that is
self-observation. Observation of some fragment can’t, is not
significant enough, is not central enough On such occasions we’re not fixed in the
thinking mind or in the vital mind, not in vital
shock or in the strategy of thought, but in that
prior conscious dimension that fundamentally can’t
be described. You will tend to identify the process of
understanding in the form of self-observation with
this game of self-watching When we intuitively fall into that prior kind of
consciousness, then we are seated in that…in
another dimension entirely, and from that point of
view the whole play of our humanity, our mentality,
our vitality, the whole affair, is controllable,
knowable, becomes usable, changeable. From that
point of view we can make the whole affair of life,
mental and vital, a sacrificial and creative
process that doesn’t bind. Any moment of self-observation can’t last
because something else arises. You must be present
in the next moment. So it’s only when this whole
affair of self-observation and insight becomes
summary, conclusive, total comprehension of
fundamentally what you are as an activity. It’s
only then that it can appear as a real
responsibility in consciousness. But it appears at
random. You don’t forever from that moment
understand. You must enquire. the process of understanding, of real insight,
real self-observation, the vital is released, and
also the strategy of the mind, the thinking mind,
is released. But self-observation you can’t initiate.
Anything that is initiated that looks like
self-observation is self-watching. Self-observation is not a process of one’s
conventional life. Self-observation is a specific
process valued from the point of view of
understanding. Self-observation is not a matter of
responsibility. It is a matter of conventional
responsibility: you must fulfill the conditions and
so forth in Satsang. But you cannot be responsible
for this process of self observation itself. You
can for self-watching. You can decide to do that
and be responsible for doing it self observation must become summary. It must
become fundamental to the whole of your life whole process…is to make it clear a lesson.
self watching is not understanding. But that is
what you are up to. And that in itself must be
understood, that affair of self-watching purpose of study is not to go on and describe in
endless …detail what self-observation is …you
must resort to the practical form of your sadhana,
and lessons must appear…eliminate aspects from of
your conventional life, from the picture you have
of this real understanding. self-observation in its real sense is of that
nature. You not only get information about
yourself, you comprehend that area of drama in your
life and are fundamentally free of it on the basis
of that observation, on the basis of that insight.
And these moments of observation, each time they
appear, have a more summary form each time they
appear. You still see yourself, you’re still
comprehending yourself. Self Observation, Responsibility, Consciousness
and the Enquiry..this is the first form of real
responsibility. Self Observation has brought you to
the point of Enquiry and responsibility Self-Observation does not have any content that
we may identify with it. forgetting of the self-definition, release of
it. And that occurs whenever there is real insight,
real enquiry…such a moment consciousness falls
into its natural position and releases ego, mind,
and desire. Self-Observation is simply availability to the
conscious knowing, conscious insight into the
situation that ordinarily binds us. Observation or insight, which is fundamentally
the same thing, lasts only when it is perfect,
because if it is perfect it includes all other
possible things that may be observed, and so it
goes on and on and on Self-Observation is in relation to condional
forms. Karma is either undone or taken away for the
time being, one or the other. Any moment of self-observation can’t last
because something else arises. You must be present
in the next moment. So it’s only when this whole
affair of self-observation and insight becomes
summary, conclusive, total comprehension of
fundamentally what you are as an activity. It’s
only then that it can appear as a real
responsibility in consciousness. But it appears at
random. You don’t forever from that moment
understand. You must enquire. For Self-Observation to occur there is just
contact with that fundamental condition that
preceded the whole dilemma of compulsions and it
all falls away. It disappears. The complusion
passes. This understanding always involves
responsibility in Consciousness. But self-observation you can’t initiate.
Anything that is initiated that looks like
self-observation is self-watching. Responsibility in Consciousness is knowledge,
real comprehension. It is a siddhi. A real power
that you bring to life. Which in ables you to be
happy, free, the principle of happiness, Only
Happy. Self-observation is essentially a random and
passive moment in which no self is presented in you
fulfilling a natural condition of life in Satsang.
And the whole affair of this self-observation
ultimately becomes summary and conclusive, it
becomes comprehension. Then you may enquire. Karmas moves quicky. Some are fulfilled, some
pass, some are just viewed. Life continues to
happen, it’s breathed and there is no dilemma. self-observation in its real sense is of that
nature. You not only get information about
yourself, you comprehend that area of drama in your
life and are fundamentally free of it on the basis
of that observation, on the basis of that insight.
And these moments of observation, each time they
appear, have a more summary form each time they
appear. You still see yourself, you’re still
comprehending yourself. A crisis is required. It is a frustration of an
intention that you have. The content is not what is this significant.
it’s the comprehension that’s significant, in the
sense of release from that particular binding
process. It becomes more and more summary and
ultimately becomes a perfect tacit, total
comprehension of yourself as an activity and after
that moment you may enquire. Then you are obliged
to be responsible, take a responsible position
relative to the conscious process. The conditions of sadhana provide the
circumstance for the impulses of karmic patterns to
be frustrated, seen and utltimately transcended, in
a summary insight based on a tacit obersation of
one’s entire life-pattern. The self-presentation that is always there in
the strategy of self-watching is relaxed. Self-Observation is of a completely different
order than self-watching. Self-watching see’s the self-contraction but
does not transcend it. Self-Observation is seeing the self-contraction,
observing it in it’s total pattern from the ‘place’
prior, to what precedes it. You see that you are
‘doing’ it from the place prior. It is an event in
consciousness. Which then comes responsibility. You see, you know, through insight that you are
causing your own withdrawal in the midst of Free
and Open Space – Consciousness is prior. Enquiry is awakened in Self-Observation. Enquiry
is the ‘Return’ to Consciousness, your prior
Condition. Responsibility becomes ‘active’ through the
Siddhi that is consciousness, prior to
contraction. Each moment of enquiry is a return to the
natural realization in consciousness in which there
is no contraction mediated. DEVOTEE: Im not sure what the difference is
between self-observation and self-watching BUBBA: The difference becomes clear if you do
sadhana. Self-watching, or conventional self-observation, is
itself a technique, a method. It is not necessarily one that
you adopt, that you devote time to, like reciting a mantra.
It is something that some people do as that kind of
technique, but it is more commonly the kind of method that
is a natural strategy, a common strategy, a part of the
accepted notion of sanity. Everybody is engaged in this
practice of self-watching to one or another degree. Thus,
you find yourself at random moments all day long looking at
yourself, thinking about it all. But self-observation, real
self-observation, is not something done methodically as a
technique DEVOTEE: It just happens? BUBBA: In a sense you could say it just happens.
It is not an activity of the ego, of your deciding to
analyze yourself. This sadhana is not generated by my
prescribing self-observation to you. Rather, it is generated
on the basis of a consideration of the Teaching, a natural
turning to the Guru, accepting his conditions with
understanding, and fulfilling these conditions from hour to
hour, always turning into the form of these conditions,
making them the form of ones relationship to the Guru. This
is sacrifice in its natural form. In the midst of that life
there are real moments of insight from time to time. And
when such insight appears, it is not in the form, “Oh,
shucks! Will you look at that!” That kind of information
comes from self-watching. When you find yourself out, that
is self-watching. That is data. That is images that you
capture about yourself. All that analysis is a natural
product of self-watching But the natural product or expression of real
self-observation is radical insight. Where there is such
insight, all the things that you feel bad about on the basis
of your self-analysis or self-watching are undone. In a
moment of real insight, there is no obstruction, there is no
bad guy. The principle of the ego is not present in the
moment of real self-observation, but it is always there in
the moment of self-watching Understand that everyone engages in self-watching. You
are not prohibited from self-watching. However, you are not
asked to self-watch. You will simply and randomly notice
yourself self-watching, and you will begin to understand
this strategy in yourself. You will see what it represents,
why it is there. You will see what it really is. What is
self-watching? It is self-meditation. What is that? It is
contraction. You will really see it. You will know it to be
that. And in those moments, that is insight. That is
self-observation, that is understanding. Essentially, the conditions are preventions of
dramatization. They are simple, appropriate, natural,
life-supporting, and all of that, and from a certain point
of view they are good, harmonious, sattwic things to do. But
that is not their essential function. They are not true in
themselves. Their essential function in the way of
Understanding is to prevent the dramatization that you are
always enacting via your functions. When, in some functional
area, you are prevented from dramatization, you
automatically observe yourself. Dramatization prevents
self-observation because it gives you self-enactment through
energies of various kinds and provides you with the
consolation of unconsciousness. The conditions are all ways
of frustrating the intention to dramatize and be
unconscious. Therefore, self-observation arises. It appears
as cognition at the plane of the mind, and thats how you
know youve observed yourself. But actually the root of
self-observation is the Heart of Consciousness itself. That
is why this self-observation is tantamount to
Self-knowledge, knowledge of Brahman, knowledge of the Heart
or Real-God ultimately. Thus, it should be clear that self-observation is
essentially an ecstatic instant of absorption in our
natural, Divine Condition, which is Satsang or Divine
Communion. This is not anything like our usual notion of
what ecstasy is. Commonly, ecstasy is thought of as a great
rush of energy, or even absorption in energy or visionary
light to the point of loss of body-consciousness. Real
ecstasy, however, is this very understanding. It involves no
loss of consciousness, but, on the contrary, restoration to
the true position of Consciousness, which is always already
ecstatic relative to the plane of life events. And that is
the kind of free, spacious, clear enjoyment that occurs in a
moment of real self-observation. No
Remedy – Introduction “…An awakening that comes in the summary of
self-observation, not in some moment of seeing some thing
about yourself. When you’ve seen the totality of it and see
what the totality is, what it is, not what one portion of it
is, when you see that it is self-contraction, when it is
thoroughly understood in all of its opposites as being just
the self-contraction and that is your own action, something
that you are adding to reality in every moment, then bondage
to that script is released and you awaken to that in which
all of this has been arising and which it is happening, that
to which all that is being added. That is Hearing. Hearing
is a summary observation not the witnessing of some
action.” Self
Observation versus Self-Watching No
Remedy – Introduction
“I saw that men could easily be turned to
self-observation. And the process of observation could
easily be maintained by proper guidance or “hearing.” And
that process of observing gradually saw the emergence of
fundamental insight. Men could understand the radical nature
of seeking, the adventure of Narcissus, the whole complex
life of the avoidance of relationship. And when
understanding arose men could easily apply understanding to
moment to moment experience. Then understanding became the
approach to life rather than all the automatic, confused
activities of seeking, the drama of Narcissus. In that case,
understanding became enquiry in the form of understanding
itself: “Avoiding relationship?” And the abiding in
relationship with the use of enquiry became the fundamental
activity of conscious life moment to moment or in special
periods of enquiry which might be
called “meditation.”
but which must be comprehended!”
Bubba Free John (Adi Da Samraj,
1975)“You are like a mirror to your own event“
NO REMEDY – Part Three: The Complications of Sadhana
Beyond
the Koan
NO REMEDY – Part Three: The Complications of
Sadhana
The
Knee of Listening – Chapter 19
Self observation versus self watching
Self-Watching