The Book
The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are
by
Alan Watts
First published in Great Britain by Jonathan Cape
Ltd 1969 FACE
Preface and Chapter
One
FACEPREFACE THIS BOOK explores an unrecognized but mighty conspiracy to ignore who, or what, we really are. that the prevalent sensation of oneself as a separate ego bag of skin is a hallucination which accords neither with science nor with the experimental philosophy-religions of particular the central and germinal Vedanta philosophy of This hallucination underlies the misuse of technology for subjugation of man’s natural environment and, eventual destruction. We are therefore in urgent need of a sense of our own which is in accord with the physical facts and which feeling of alienation from the universe. For this purpose on the insights of Vedanta, stating them, however, in a modern and Western styleso that this volume makes a textbook on or introduction to Vedanta in the ordinary rather a cross-fertilization of Western science with an Particular thanks are due to my wife, Mary Jane, for her editorial work and her comments on the manuscript. due to the Bollingen Foundation for its support of a included the writing of this book. Sausalito, California ALAN WATTS January, 1966 CHAPTER ONE INSIDE INFORMATION JUST WHAT should a young man or woman know in order to be the know”? Is there, in other words, some inside special taboo, some real lowdown on life and existence parents and teachers either don’t know or won’t tell? In Japan it was once customary to give young people about married a “pillow book.” This was a small volume of often colored, showing all the details of sexual that, as the Chinese say, “one picture is worth ten was also that it spared parents the embarrassment of intimate matters face-to-face. But today in the West you information at any newsstand. Sex is no longer a serious Teenagers sometimes know more about it than adults. But if sex is no longer the big taboo, what is? For there something taboo, something repressed, unadmitted, or just quickly out of the corner of one’s eye because a direct unsettling. Taboos lie within taboos, like the skins of then, would be The Book which fathers might slip to their mothers to their daughters, without ever admitting it In some circles there is a strong taboo on religion, even where people go to church or read the Bible. Here, private business. It is bad form or uncool to talk or very bad indeed to make a big show of piety. Yet when you the inside of almost any standard-brand religion, you earth the hush was about. Surely The Book I have in mind the Bible, “the Good Book”that fascinating wisdom, history, and fable which has for so long been Sacred Cow that it might well be locked up for a century men could hear it again with clean ears. There are indeed Bible, and some very subversive ones, but they are all so complications, in archaic symbols and ways of thinking, has become incredibly difficult to explain to a person. That is, unless you are content to water it down and trying to imitate Jesus, but no one ever explains To do it you must have a particular power from God known but all that we really know about grace is that some get don’t. The standard-brand religions, whether Jewish, Mohammedan, Hindu, or Buddhist, areas now exhausted mines: very hard to dig. With some exceptions found, their ideas about man and the world, their and their notions of the good life don’t seem to fit in we now know it, or with a human world that is changing so much of what one learns in school is already obsolete on day. The Book I am thinking about would not be religious in sense, but it would have to discuss many things with have been concernedthe universe and man’s place in center of experience which we call “I myself,” the love, pain and death, and the whole question of whether meaning in any sense of the word. For there is a growing that existence is a rat-race in a trap: living organisms, are merely tubes which put things in at one end and let other, which both keeps them doing it and in the long run out. So to keep the farce going, the tubes find ways of tubes, which also put things in at one end and let them At the input end they even develop ganglia of nerves eyes and ears, so that they can more easily scrounge swallow. As and when they get enough to eat, they use up energy by wiggling in complicated patterns, making all by blowing air in and out of the input hole, and groups to fight with other groups. In time, the tubes abundance of attached appliances that they are hardly mere tubes, and they manage to do this in a staggering There is a vague rule not to eat tubes of your own form, there is serious competition as to who is going to be the All this seems marvelously futile, and yet, when you it begins to be more marvelous than futile. Indeed, it
FACEIt is a special kind of enlightenment to have this usual, the way things normally are, is odduncanny improbable. G. K. Chesterton once said that it is one at a gorgon or a griffin, creatures which do not exist; another and much higher thing to be amazed at a creatures which do exist and look as if they don’t. This universal oddity includes a basic and intense wondering of things. Why, of all possible worlds, this colossal and unnecessary multitude of galaxies in a mysteriously continuum, these myriads of differing tube-species games of one-upmanship, these numberless ways of “doing elegant architecture of the snow crystal or the diatom to magnificence of the lyrebird or the peacock? FACE
FACELudwig Wittgenstein and other modern “logical” tried to suppress this question by saying that it has no ought not to be asked. Most philosophical problems are to getting rid of them, by coming to the point where you see questions as “Why this universe?” are a kind of misuse of words in that the question sounds sensible but meaningless as asking “Where is this universe?” when the that are anywhere must be somewhere inside the universe. philosophy is to cure people of such nonsense. see, had a point there. Nevertheless, wonder is not a and its expression in poetry and the arts, are among the things which seem to distinguish men from other animals, intelligent and sensitive people from morons. FACE
FACEIs there, then, some kind of a lowdown on this things, something that never really gets out through the for the Answerthe historic religions and been said again and again, but in such a fashion that we, particular civilization do not hear it. We do not realize subversive, not so much in the political and moral sense, turns our ordinary view of things, our common sense, upside down. It may of course have political and moral but as yet we have no clear idea of what they may be. revolution of the mind has been confined to rather it has never, to my knowledge, been widely characteristic communities or societies. It has often been thought too that. Hence the taboo. FACE
FACEBut the world is in an extremely dangerous situation, diseases often require the risk of a dangerous serum for rabies. It is not that we may simply blow up nuclear bombs, strangle ourselves with overpopulation, natural resources through poor conservation, or ruin the products with improperly understood chemicals and all these is the possibility that civilization may be a success, but through methods that most people will find frightening, and disorientingbecause, for one methods will keep changing. It may be like playing a game rules are constantly changed without ever being made from which one cannot withdraw without suicide, and in never return to an older form of the game. FACE
FACEBut the problem of man and technics is almost always wrong way. It is said that humanity has evolved technical power without any comparable growth in moral as some would prefer to say, without comparable progress and rational thinking. Yet the problem is more basic. The matter is the way in which we feel and conceive ourselves beings, our sensation of being alive, of individual We suffer from a hallucination, from a false and our own existence as living organisms. Most of us have that “I myself” is a separate center of feeling and and bounded by the physical bodya center which “external” world of people and things, making contact senses with a universe both alien and strange. Everyday speech reflect this illusion. “I came into this world.” reality.” “The conquest of nature.” FACE
FACEThis feeling of being lonely and very temporary universe is in flat contradiction to everything known other living organisms) in the sciences. We do not “come we come out of it, as leaves from a tree. As the ocean the universe “peoples.” Every individual is an expression realm of nature, a unique action of the total universe. if ever, experienced by most individuals. Even those who true in theory do not sense or feel it, but continue to themselves as isolated “egos” inside bags of skin.
FACEThe first result of this illusion is that our “outside” us is largely hostile. We are forever space, mountains, deserts, bacteria, and insects instead cooperate with them in a harmonious order. In America the symbols of this conquest are the bulldozer and the instrument that batters the hills into flat tracts for ticky-tacky and the great phallic projectile that blasts (Nonetheless, we have fine architects who know how to fit hills without ruining the landscape, and astronomers who earth is already way out in space, and that our first other worlds is sensitive electronic instruments which, will bring the most distant objects into our own attitude of conquering nature ignores the basic things and eventsthat the world beyond the skin is extension of our own bodiesand will end in environment from which we emerge and upon which our whole depends. FACE
FACEThe second result of feeling that we are separate and mostly stupid, universe is that we have no common making sense of the world upon which we are agreed in just my opinion against yours, and therefore the most violent (and thus insensitive) propagandist makes the muddle of conflicting opinions united by force of worst possible source of control for a powerful
FACEIt might seem, then, that our need is for some genius religion, a philosophy of life and a view of the world, and generally acceptable for the late twentieth century, which every individual can feel that the world as a whole life in particular have meaning. This, as history has not enough. Religions are divisive and quarrelsome. They one-upmanship because they depend upon separating the the “damned,” the true believers from the heretics, the out-group. Even religious liberals play the game of than-you.” Furthermore, as systems of doctrine, behavior, religions harden into institutions that must be defended and kept “pure,” andbecause all belief and thus a cover-up for doubt and converts. The more people who agree with us, the less insecurity about our position. In the end one is Christian or a Buddhist come what may in the form of new New and indigestible ideas have to be wangled into the tradition, however inconsistent with its original believer can still take his stand and assert, “I am first follower of Christ/Mohammed/Buddha, or whomever.” commitment to any religion is not only intellectual unfaith because it closes the mind to any new vision of is, above all, open-nessan act of trust in the An ardent Jehovah’s Witness once tried to convince me were a God of love, he would certainly provide mankind and infallible textbook for the guidance of conduct. I considerate God would destroy the human mind by making it and unadaptable as to depend upon one book, the Bible, answers. For the use of words, and thus of a book, is to themselves to a world of life and experience that is not even ideas. Just as money is not real, consumable wealth, life. To idolize scriptures is like eating paper
FACETherefore The Book that I would like to slip to my itself be slippery. It would slip them into a new domain, alone, but of experience and feeling. It would be a not a diet; a point of departure, not a perpetual point would read it and be done with it, for if it were well they would not have to go back to it again and again for meanings or for clarification of obscure doctrines.
FACEWe do not need a new religion or a new bible. We need experiencea new feeling of what it is to be “I.” is, of course, the secret and profound view) on life is sensation of self is a hoax or, at best, a temporary role playing, or have been conned into playingwith our just as every hypnotized person is basically willing to The most strongly enforced of all known taboos is the knowing who or what you really are behind the mask of separate, independent, and isolated ego. I am not barbarous Id or Unconscious as the actual reality behind personality. Freud, as we shall see, was under the nineteenth-century fashion called “reductionism,” a down human culture and intelligence by calling it a fluky blind and irrational forces. They worked very hard, then, grapes can grow on thornbushes. FACE
FACEAs is so often the way, what we have suppressed and something startlingly obvious. The difficulty is that it basic that one can hardly find the words for it. The Hintergedanke, an apprehension lying tacitly in the back which we cannot easily admit, even to ourselves. The a lonely and isolated center of being is so powerful commonsensical, and so fundamental to our modes of speech thought, to our laws and social institutions, that we selfhood except as something superficial in the scheme of seem to be a brief light that flashes but once in all the rare, complicated, and all-too-delicate organism on the biological evolution, where the wave of life bursts into sparkling, and multicolored drops that gleam for a moment vanish forever. Under such conditioning it seems absurd to realize that myself does not reside in the drop whole surge of energy which ranges from the galaxies to fields in my body. At this level of existence “I” am my forms are infinite and their comings and goings are pulses or vibrations of a single and eternal flow of The difficulty in realizing this to be so is that cannot grasp it. It is as if the eyes were trying to look directly, or as if one were trying to describe the color terms of colors reflected in the mirror. Just as sight is than all things seen, the foundation or “ground” of our awareness cannot be understood in terms of things that are forced, therefore, to speak of it through special metaphors, analogies, and images which say what distinct from what it is. At one extreme of its meaning, falsehood, or superstition. But at another, “myth” is a image by which we make sense of life in somewhat the same we can explain electrical forces by comparing them with water or air. Yet “myth,” in this second sense, is not to just as electricity is not to be confused with air or myth one must take care not to confuse image with fact, like climbing up the signpost instead of following the Myth, then, is the form in which I try to answer when me those fundamental metaphysical questions which come so their minds: “Where did the world come from?” “Why did the world?” “Where was I before I was born?” “Where do when they die?” Again and again I have found that they satisfied with a simple and very ancient story, which like this: “There was never a time when the world began, because it round and round like a circle, and there is no place on a begins. Look at my watch, which tells the time; it goes world repeats itself again and again. But just as the watch goes up to twelve and down to six, so, too, there waking and sleeping, living and dying, summer and winter. have any one of these without the other, because you know what black is unless you had seen it side-by-side white unless side-by-side with black. “In the same way, there are times when the world is, and it isn’t, for if the world went on and on without rest would get horribly tired of itself. It comes and it goes. now you don’t. So because it doesn’t get tired of itself, back again after it disappears. It’s like your breath: it and out, and if you try to hold it in all the time you like the game of hide-and-seek, because it’s always fun ways of hiding, and to seek for someone who doesn’t same place. “God also likes to play hide-and-seek, but outside God, he has no one but himself to play with. But this difficulty by pretending that he is not himself. hiding from himself. He pretends that he is you and I and in the world, all the animals, all the plants, all the stars. In this way he has strange and wonderful which are terrible and frightening. But these are just for when he wakes up they will disappear. “Now when God plays hide and pretends that he is you and it so well that it takes him a long time to remember hid himself. But that’s the whole fun of itjust He doesn’t want to find himself too quickly, for that game. That is why it is so difficult for you and me to are God in disguise, pretending not to be himself. But has gone on long enough, all of us will wake up, stop remember that we are all one single Selfthe God who is and who lives for ever and ever. “Of course, you must remember that God isn’t shaped like People have skins and there is always something outside there weren’t, we wouldn’t know the difference between and outside our bodies. But God has no skin and no shape isn’t any outside to him. [With a sufficiently this with a Möbius stripa ring of paper tape way that it has only one side and one edge.] The of God are the same. And though I have been talking about and not ‘she,’ God isn’t a man or a woman. I didn’t say usually say ‘it’ for things that aren’t alive. “God is the Self of the world, but you can’t see God for reason that, without a mirror, you can’t see your own certainly can’t bite your own teeth or look inside your that cleverly hidden because it is God hiding. “You may ask why God sometimes hides in the form of people, or pretends to be people who suffer great disease Remember, first, that he isn’t really doing this to Remember, too, that in almost all the stories you enjoy bad people as well as good people, for the thrill of the how the good people will get the better of the bad. It’s we play cards. At the beginning of the game we shuffle mess, which is like the bad things in the world, but the game is to put the mess into good order, and the one who the winner. Then we shuffle the cards once more and play it goes with the world.” This story, obviously mythical in form, is not given as a description of the way things are. Based on the analogies the drama, and using that much worn-out word “God” for story claims only to be like the way things are. I use it astronomers use the image of inflating a black balloon on it for the galaxies, to explain the expanding children, and many adults, the myth is at once fascinating. By contrast, so many other mythical world are crude, tortuous, and unintelligible. But many believing in the unintelligible propositions and symbols religions is the test of true faith. “I believe,” said Christianity, “because it is absurd.” People who think for themselves do not accept ideas on authority. They don’t feel commanded to believe in doctrines as Abraham felt commanded by God to sacrifice As T. George Harris put it: The social hierarchies of the past, where some boss above always punished any error, conditioned men to feel a harsh authority reaching all the way “up there.” We don’t bond in today’s egalitarian freedom. We don’t even have, Spock, many Jehovah-like fathers in the human family. So average unconscious no longer learns to seek forgiveness wrathful God above. But, he continues Our generation knows a cold hell, solitary confinement in life, without a God to damn or save it. Until man figures trap and hunts… “the Ultimate Ground of Being,” he has at all for his existence. Empty, finite, he knows only soon die. Since this life has no meaning, and he sees no he is not really a person but a victim of “The Ultimate Ground of Being” is Paul Tillich’s term for “God” and would also do for “the Self of the in my story for children. But the secret which my story child is that the Ultimate Ground of Being is you. Not, everyday you which the Ground is assuming, or that inmost Self which escapes inspection because it’s inspector. This, then, is the taboo of taboos: you’re Yet in our culture this is the touchstone of insanity, blasphemies, and the wildest of delusions. This, we ultimate in megalomaniaan inflation of the ego to For though we cultivate the ego with one hand, we knock the other. From generation to generation we kick the children to teach them to “know their place” and to feel with proper modesty as befits one little ego among mother used to say, “You’re not the only pebble on the Anyone in his right mind who believes that he is God crucified or burned at the stake, though now we take the view that no one in his right mind could believe such poor idiot could conceive himself as the omnipotent ruler and expect everyone else to fall down and worship. But this is because we think of God as the King of the Absolute Technocrat who personally and consciously details of his cosmosand that is not the kind of fact, it isn’t my story at all, for any student of the know that it comes from ancient India, and is the explaining the Vedanta philosophy. Vedanta is the Upanishads, a collection of dialogues, stories, and which go back to at least 800 B.C. Sophisticated Hindus God as a special and separate superperson who rules the above, like a monarch. Their God is “underneath” rather everything, and he (or it) plays the world from inside. that if religion is the opium of the people, the Hindus What is more, no Hindu can realize that he is God in without seeing at the same time that this is true of everything else. In the Vedanta philosophy, nothing There seem to be other things than God, but only because dreaming them up and making them his disguises to play with himself. The universe of seemingly separate things only for a while, not eternally real, for it comes and hides and seeks itself. But Vedanta is much more than the idea or the belief that is centrally and above all the experience, the immediate its being so, and for this reason such a complete ordinary way of seeing things. It turns the world inside in. Likewise, a saying attributed to Jesus runs: FACE and FACEwhen you make the inner as the outer and the outer as the inner and the above as the below then shall you enter [the Kingdom]…. I am the Light that is above them all, I am the All, the All came forth from Me and the All attained to Me. Cleave a [piece of] wood, I am there; lift up the stone and you will find Me there.(3) FACE FACEToday the Vedanta discipline comes down to us after involvement with all the forms, attitudes, and symbols of in its flowering and slow demise over nearly 2,800 years, wounded by Islamic fanaticism and corrupted by British often set forth, Vedanta rings no bell in the West, and fastidiously spiritual and diaphanous kind of people for incarnation in a physical body is just too disgusting to it is possible to state its essentials in a present-day is done without exotic trappings, Sanskrit terminology, postures of spirituality, the message is not only clear interest in “Oriental religions”; it is also the very need to kick ourselves out of our isolated sensation of But this must not be confused with our usual ideas of the “unselfishness,” which is the effort to identify with needs while still under the strong illusion of being no ego. Such “unselfishness” is apt to be a highly egotism, comparable to the in-group which plays the game tolerant-than-you.” The Vedanta was not originally did not urge people to ape the saints without sharing motivations, or to ape motivations without sharing the sparks them. For this reason The Book I would pass to my children no sermons, no shoulds and oughts. Genuine love comes knowledge, not from a sense of duty or guilt. How would an invalid mother with a daughter who can’t marry because ought to look after you, and therefore hates you? My wish tell, not how things ought to be, but how they are, and ignore them as they are. You cannot teach an ego to be egotistic, even though egos have the subtlest ways of reformed. The basic thing is therefore to dispel, by experience, the illusion of oneself as a separate ego. may not be behavior along the lines of conventional well be as the squares said of Jesus, “Look at him! A drinker, a friend of tax-gatherers and sinners!” Furthermore, on seeing through the illusion of the ego, impossible to think of oneself as better than, or having done so. In every direction there is just the one myriad games of hide-and-seek. Birds are not better than which they have broken. Indeed, it could be said that a way of becoming other eggs. Egg is ego, and bird is the There is a Hindu myth of the Self as a divine swan which from which the world was hatched. Thus I am not even ought to break out of your shell. Sometime, somehow, you the Self) will do it anyhow, but it is not impossible Self will be to remain unawakened in most of its human so bring the drama of life on earth to its close in a worse and worse, until at last the destructive aspect of Shiva, dances a terrible dance which consumes everything follow, says the myth, 4,320,000 years of total peace Self is just itself and does not play hide. And then the again, starting off as a universe of perfect splendor deteriorate only after 1,728,000 years, and every round designed that the forces of darkness present themselves third of the time, enjoying at the end a brief but quite Today we calculate the life of this planet alone in much periods, but of all ancient civilizations the Hindus had imaginative vision of cosmic time. Yet remember, this cycles of the world’s appearance and disappearance is parable rather than prophecy. It is a way of illustrating universe is like the game of hide-and-seek. If, then, I am not saying that you ought to awaken from and help save the world from disaster, why The Book? Why sit back and let things take their course? Simply that it taking their course” that I write. As a human being it is enjoy and share philosophy. I do this in the same way are eagles and some doves, some flowers lilies and some too, that the less I preach, the more likely I am to be (1) “I do not believe that anything really worthwhile exploration of the slag heap that constitutes the surface should imagine that the enormous financial budget of NASA now well supported.” Fred Hoyle, Galaxies, Nuclei, and Educational, 1966. (2) A discussion of the views of theologian Paul Tillich Bible,” Look, Vol. XIX, No. 15. July 27, 1965. p. 19. (3) A. Guillaumont and others (trs.), The Gospel 1959. pp. 17-18, 43. A recently discovered Coptic from a Greek version as old as A.D. 140. The “I” and the to the disguised Self. (4) I said “mostly” because I am aware of some very and in India. FACE
FACE The by Alan Watts FACE First published in Great |