Beezone Interview Series
with Stephan Blas
Session 3
The Beginnings
of the
Emotional Sexual Considerations
The Beginnings
of the
Emotional Sexual Considerations
“You are suffering many things in your life and others are suffering you!”
***
“Sadhana or spiritual practice begins in that place where you make this knot, this fundamental discomfort. It has the characteristic of fear and you basically experience that fear as a kind of anxiety in the pit of your stomach.
If you are not really in touch with this self-contraction, you at times may experience the anxiety that is constantly underlying and motivating your behavior, your moment to moment existence. With this anxiety, you build all kinds of stuff on top of it and desensitize yourself to it. This self-contraction is the quality of anxiety, of your moment to moment existence and it is a stressful anxiety.
You may want to forestall the observation of this uncomfortable feeling, that realization. But you can’t begin real spiritual life unless you start to observe and understand the mechanism of it. But once you do and get bit, that’s it! Unless you find yourself out you will be continually running from it, covering it over with ‘lifes demands’ and ‘stressful situations’. Once you do observe this fundamental contraction, then you can’t escape it, and that’s when sadhana really begins. That’s when sadhana starts becoming profoundly effective.“
Adi Da Samraj, 1974
“My devotees must deal with “money, food, and sex” first
before there can be any true advancement
in the Way of Adidam”
Adi Da Samraj – ‘The Complete Yoga of Human Emotional-Sexual Life‘
Beezone note: A Bitter Pill
I must first emphasize two points before moving forward into the area of what the term ’emotional sexual consideration’ refers to. First, it is not a therapy nor a single technique. It is a consideration surrounding the ‘root of egoity’ and the patterns associated with its activity. Secondly, it is not about sex, as commonly understood, in any exclusive sense. Fundamentally, the ’emotional sexual consideration’ is an investigation or consideration into the nature of ‘egoity’ and its root patterns of fear, betrayal, unlove, aggression, the search for fulfillment, delusion, and unconsciousness.
This session into Stephan’s exploration into his ‘pattern of egoity’ will not focus on the sexual dimension of emotional energy, that will be addressed in a further session. In this initial section on the subject we focus on the root of individual identity and how that creation develops strategies and patterns (conscious and unconscious) of identity which then covers all areas of ones character, including sexuality and sexual identity. As He said, “the emotional-sexual “consideration” is only in some general sense about sex. It is about your life altogether – and most fundamentally, it is about the Transcendental Spiritual process.”
It should also be noted that what follows may appear to be a bit ‘raw’ and seemingly ‘insensitive’ to some. And so, the term ‘bitter pill.’ As you will see, Stephan does not understand it to be such, and hopefully, the reader/listener will also see and understand it in the same manner.
Why did Adi Da focus on the necessity of emotional-sexual-considerations? Because as he said, “understand” and go beyond the “fundamental “self”-contraction.” “Such was My Call to My devotees in the years of My directly interactive Work of emotional-sexual “reality consideration”, and Such is My Call to all My devotees – now, and forever hereafter.
Stephan and Ed – Session 3
The Beginnings of the Emotional Sexual Considerations
Listen to Stephan – click triangle
Stephan: So, literally, I’m skipping over all kinds of major incidents, but just to have that much happen between 10 and 14 and 15 is almost too much, if one of those things happen to a person. But it was just happening over and over again. But one of the reasons why I wanted at least to give you the glimpse of these things is what Beloved said to me later on when he was doing my emotional sexual purification.
Ed: So what did he say?
Stephan: Well, okay, now we’re going to jump over… We’re jumping now years later.
Ed: I wouldn’t go back, but I want a little bit of a an introduction to the subject.
Stephan: I know you do, Ed. So we are now at the Mountain of Attention Sanctuary in Northern California, Middletown, California, where you were serving in the kitchen at one time. And it is in probably the early ’70s. And it was before the whole publication of the emotional sexual Oedipal stuff. It was before that became a popular thing to consider.
Ed: Right.
Stephan: So, Beloved would just do it with us spontaneously and individually, as we entered into his more intimate company, certain people, certain groups of people, smaller groups of people, and so forth. And so he would do that, just by asking a few questions and looking at the person’s forehead and their body language and whatever. And he would then start bringing up things, asking a few questions and then getting the sense of what was behind this persona that maybe needed to be inspected and, therefore, understood and, therefore, taken responsibility for, so he would have this interact.
“Everyone was terrified”
A devotee anticipating the Emotional Sexual Considerations with Adi Da.
And it wasn’t always easy. Of course, sometimes there was laughter, especially by the others who weren’t getting drilled, but by the person that was usually intense and difficult and sometimes very emotional and often very enlivening and revealing. So as he did this – he wanted the groups of people who were meeting with him and discussing these matters as well as discussing other matters, other Dharma and so forth – he said it was necessary that we all not only understood it, but served each other to these specific considerations.
So, I believe I was going to be the first guinea of our little small group of men who had been meeting with Beloved and having these conversations and whatnot, we were then going to go off and do the exercise of asking questions, seeing where a person is coming from, seeing how they are dramatizing a certain scenario that maybe they haven’t fully inspected and, therefore, they haven’t understood and, therefore, they haven’t taken responsibility for.
I was one of the first guinea pigs to do this with the intimate men there. I remember we went off and my friends were asking me questions and I had not told a lot of my history to people before. I started just telling them where I was coming from and things that had happened. And by telling them these stories and especially some of the more dramatic ones, literally, they had never heard anything like it. And so in a certain sense, I had them in my palm.
Ed: Right.
Stephan: Because they couldn’t believe hardly any of it, much less make sense of it and much less be able to serve me through this emotional sexual consideration.
Ed: Right.
Stephan: So, after hours of my storytelling and their jaws dropping on the floor, we all went back to Beloved’s house. We may have called him Bubba then, or I’m not sure what the year was or Franklin. No, I think it was after Franklin. It was probably Bubba.
I remember sitting in the living room and the men said, “Bubba, we can’t make heads nor tails of what Stephan has gone through.” They begin to try to explain some of what they heard and then Beloved very quickly…I mean, it didn’t take them hardly a few sentences before he figured it all out. Or maybe you already knew, I don’t know. And he turned to me, he looked at me directly. And I remember him saying something like I had tricked all of the men and I had done a certain thing that got them to be sympathetic with me, such that I couldn’t be dealt with.
“Poor, poor, poor Stephan”
I don’t remember the exact words, but I just remember him letting the guys know that they had been gotten and that I had done it, as if I was some kind of trickster or some kind of a manipulator and literally, they can’t figure it out, and I’m sitting there and I’m starting to feel very guilty, like I’m caught. I don’t even know how I’m caught, but I’m caught. And he says, “Poor Stephan, poor, poor Stephan. He’s been so wounded. He’s been so wounded that he even had all kinds of stories, all kinds of evidence, all kinds of proof to justify him being this victim of the wound.”
Ed: Oh, wow. Yeah.
Stephan: Then he says, “He’s so wounded that he even chose to be born into this particular situation to justify it”.
Ed: Wow.
Stephan: “…all of it.”
“I began to recognize a structure in consciousness. It became more and more apparent, and its nature and effects revealed themselves as fundamental and inclusive of all the states and contents in life and mind. My own “myth,” the control of all patterns, the source of identity and all seeking began to stand out in the mind as a living begin.
This “myth,” this controlling logic or force that formed my very consciousness revealed itself as the concept or life of Narcissus. I saw that my entire adventure, the whole desperate cycle of awareness and its decrease, of truly conscious being and its gradual covering in the whole mechanics of living, seeking, dying and suffering, was produced out of the image or mentality that appears hidden in the ancient myth of Narcissus.”
The Understanding on the Beach – Chapter 5, The Knee of Listening
“It was the logic or process of separation itself, of enclosure and immunity”
The Life of Understanding – Week 2
Ed: Wow.
Stephan: I’m telling you, I’m not the smartest kid on the block. I’ve given you some of my history, you’re getting to know me a little bit. And when the Guru brings something of this nature, this revelation, this expose to you, it’s doing what it needs to do. It is revealing an underlying strategy that I’m just telling you how he revealed mine, but he did this with every single person. How the ego creates this underlying strategy and justifies it by- [crosstalk 00:10:35].
Ed: Not just the conscious ego, the unconscious and levels so far deep in the psyche that even the conscious individual has a hard time even grasping it.
Stephan: Oh, totally. Are you kidding me? I wasn’t conscious of any of this. But when he revealed it, it was something that I knew he was pressing a button that I did not want to be pressed. She was making me responsible for my own activity. And that was something, you can’t be a victim and be responsible for your own activity. The two do not mix. I know what it is to be a victim and to have all the justification for it. And I also know what it is to strategically use that to survive and to protect oneself and to never take responsibility because you cannot be a victim and take responsibility.
“Responsibility is the foundation of the Way and the foundation of existence, and that never comes to an end even in the seventh stage Awakening. It is simply Perfected.”
Adi Da Samraj, Perfect Responsibility
Ed: And also be a manipulator.
Stephan: Exactly.
Ed: Right.
Stephan: So, glory to the Guru to reveal this and then to give basically… if this doesn’t magically, make everything disappear.
Ed: No! This is the beginning of real responsibility and having to go through the purification of it.
Stephan: You have to understand that it may take me decades to even understand.
Ed: Right.
Stephan: This is what he’s revealing. And this is what people don’t understand. They don’t understand the depth of the process.
“I do not cause your enlightenment”
Ed: Everybody wants to become spiritual. Everybody wants to attach themselves to the Guru and let him do the work.
Stephan: Oh, yeah. Anyway, it just gives you an inkling of what he’s had to deal with, all of us different egos coming and all about presumptions and all about baggage. And anyway…
Ed: Yeah. Well, see, this is what’s so profound about the process is now, and I’m just going to jump fast forward here, is this aspect of the work that people are necessarily the first three stages, if you will, the emotional reality considerations, or even what Julie had to go through. And even with Nick and thinking she was going to be a Sannyasa all her life and whatever, these levels of it, although they’re being bypassed and just the cultural language is such a profound process. It’s just amazing that it’s not fully been dealt with or even incorporated into any real dialogue I hear today.
Stephan: Well, you’re absolutely right, Ed, and that’s one of the reasons why I’m doing this with you is because I have the responsibility to start using my voice and to share the incredible, unfathomable glimpses of the process.
Ed: The “process” is being forgotten.
Stephan: The process that I went through to the degree that I can even understand it. And you mentioned Julie a few times. She and I went through a lot of stuff together at the same time, when she was going to be a Sannyasa with Beloved the whole time for the rest of her life. I, too, was there. I couldn’t be one of the ladies. I couldn’t be one of the nine ladies because I wasn’t a lady, but I had a similar attachment to Beloved.
Ed: Right.
Stephan: in my own way. And so I was graced, gifted with the ability to be part of the intimate household. And I thought that that was going to go on forever and ever, and would never change. And the same time when Beloved gave Julie Nick, Beloved gave me Paul, the exact same dates, same everything.
Ed: Oh, wow.
Stephan: So, we went through it together. And when you listen to the letter that Paul sent you, you’ll also see another similarity that happens with Julie and I. So yeah, it’s so remarkable.
Ed: It really is. This is why for me, this part and the depth of what the process involves has been so either academicized and made into some kind of a quick weekend classroom of 10 questions or whatever, and there is no form, no place to reinvent this process, but just to understand the depth of what has worked involved with individuals and every individual, the crisis, if you will.
Stephan: I know. And so I really encourage all of my friends, and they don’t listen to me anyway, but it doesn’t matter. I just encourage them. Well, that’s the truth. Everybody’s so damn lazy, but I just encourage them to get the story out because when you hear everybody’s story, it starts all of a sudden who Beloved is and what he’s about and what he’s been speaking about. It all starts making sense because then you get the actual human experience, coupled with the esoteric Dharma teaching and purification, and just humanizing of people. Whether they become spiritual, that’s another story altogether. But the fact that there’s some humanization happening with people who are so broken or so full of themselves and so full of shit and their spiritual so-called grasping. So that’s what makes the entire thing truly a miracle. And that’s why you can use certain language like the divine, the mystery, all of that, because when you get a sense of how all-encompassing it really is and how every avenue, every moment, all three stages of life and beyond have to be inspected, have to be understood, have to be transcended, have to be taken responsibility for. So it doesn’t matter what your age or what you’re going to have to go through it.
Ed: It’s always the same. It’s all the same. Yeah. And by the way, earlier at the Sixth Stage, a jumping off place, or the First Stage, mommy, daddy bondage breaking off place, it’s the same process.
Stephan: And Beloved also gave us…I’m speaking right now about the more gross level, first three stages purification, but Beloved also at the same time, he never limited any of it to any one thing. So there were periods when he gave us a taste of Seventh Stage of Enlightenment.
Ed: Right.
Stephan: And he actually gave all of it. We received it for real and lived it, no doubt about it. And Fourth Stage practice, and Fifth Stage practice. Literally, you got a taste of all of it, so that you understood in your body what he was putting out in words. So he demonstrated it in your body, in your mind, in your etheric, in your emotional, in your mental, in your cells. So you get to experience everything firsthand, which makes it totally different than any other teacher, because-
Ed: This is why it’s so important for people like you and Julie and other people who had that personal, early time in his company, because otherwise it’s just going to be put into some abstract academic form and so the real story of your process.
Stephan: Again, like I said, even Beloved had remarked about this a few times. A certain group of us were the guinea pigs.
Ed: Right.
Stephan: Based on our relationship with him, books were written, subjects were covered and then Beloved moved on and many of us didn’t move on with him.
Ed: It’s hard to move at the speed of light.
Stephan: A little quicker than that, Ed. Light itself, you know, true light for sure. Capital L Light. So yeah, you’re right. That’s why it is necessary to hear more full stories about Beloved’s work.
Ed: Right. No, I really appreciate what you’re sharing with me. And also, we are recording. And so as this continues, as this develops, we will put it into a form that people will be able to benefit from. That’s my hope.
Stephan: Yes. No, I agree. I totally agree.
“The revisionism people make by avoiding accountability …creates all kinds of revisionism and makes a mummery out of Adidam and a clear aspect of that Mummery that is the revisionist version of Adidam invented by egos is emotional-sexual in its nature” – Adi Da Samraj, 2006
