The Diary of My Pilgrimage – Beezone Study

The Diary of My Pilgrimage (1970) and The Pilgrimage (2004)

A Look at History – Beezone Study


“They are infinitely Returned, But I am eternally Present.”

Franklin Jones (1970) Adi Da Samraj (2004)

The Knee of Listening (1971) unpublished
Chapter 16. The Diary of My Pilgrimage

p. 327-329

Franklin Jones (Adi Da Samraj)


I sat in meditation again. Our Lord’s Mother has moved me, and I have decided to leave the Ashram in order to make a pilgrimage and communicate with the Church.

In meditation, I pleaded for guidance, so that I would not be tempted to uncertainty, so that I would certainly know the Truth without fear that I am deluded. I waited. I had prayed the “Our Father” and “Hail, Mary.” I prayed the “Amen,” as I had been taught.

The meditation was dry. Then I kept enquiring with each breath, as I tried to surrender the energies of desires to the Amen with each inhalation, and the energies of thought with each exhalation. I enquired, “Avoiding relationship?” Each time, this enquiry loosened me from flight, so that I concentrated in Him at the heart. And then He spoke, regarding those great Teachers whom I have pursued for years:

“They are infinitely Returned, but I am eternally Present.”

Then He drew me to Himself, and I was ecstatic, open-armed, crying, Dear Lord, Dear Dear Lord.

Franklin Jones, Journals, 1970

The Knee of Listening (2004)


Franklin Jones, Journals, 1970

The Lord said this to me during my meditation on Him:

“They are infinitely Returned, But I am eternally Present.”

One who knows me
Is free from liberation
And desires.
One who neither seeks
Nor lusts,
I no longer prevent from me.
Those who are sought
For liberation
Are an imitation of my
They lead men into the
Great Search, In caves, seclusions and their homes.
But I am
One who cannot be found, Unless I reveal myself.
I lead men home to


Franklin Jones, Journals, 1970


But I am always with them. I am He.”
”I am He.” Thus the Lord took the mantra from me that I had learned from the Guru, Muktananda. He relieved me of the way of the mantra, “So-ham,” “I am He.” He showed me the Truth of the mantra, that it is His mantra, His symbol, Himself.


2 June 1970

“They are the Witness. I am the Presence.”


In meditation this morning I came to a profound point of passionate stillness. I simply contemplated Him, and there was even physical pain in the heart, as if the rising current of love and its force concentrated in the heart had made a wound, so that the heart was open and gaped forward from the chest. I felt the Father, and the Lord said of Him, “Be still, and know that I am God.” That appears to be the final and essential key to contemplation.


The following is from:

The Knee of Listening (2004) – The Diary of Pilgrimage

Pages 308-310

Our last stop in Europe was Portugal. We visited the great shrine at Fatima. It was to be my last emotional gesture : Christianity. Years before, when my mind was changed by Jung, the miracle at Fatima was also primary evidence for me of Spiritual Reality. Now I visited that place at the end of all my seeking. As I walked around the shrine, there was not a single movement in me.  The place held no more fascination than a parking lot—or. Reality, it held equal fascination. My pilgrimage was over. In m vision-inspired travels, which had continued from Israel to Greece and Italy, then through France and England to Spain and Portugal the entire world seemed to become empty of its own imagery. The Virgin was resolved into landscape and monument, until she n longer appeared on her own.

We spent a couple of days resting in the sea resort at Eston, and then we flew to New York. We spent another couple of days with my parents, and then flew off again, this time to San Francisco. The long history of my internal exile was over. I felt no resistance to America. I had become available to life, free of the need to abandon life. I looked forward to finding a place to live in the area that Nina and I had enjoyed so much in previous years. But we were unable to find a suitable place in northern California— and, eventually, we found ourselves in Los Angeles.

I had passed through an internal violence that left me finally Still. And I had become naturally, effortlessly concentrated in contemplation of the Condition of Consciousness Itself-—standing apart from all movement, all modification, even Prior to the “Witness”. The Force of Silence, of Reality Itself, that Stood before me in understanding and self-Enquiry, now Stood as my own SelfNature and as the Source-Condition of all things.

I was given to understand the Truth of all my visions. The image of Jesus (or the “Christ”) and the revelation of his poem (“They are infinitely Returned, but I am eternally Present”) was my own Ultimate Self-Nature Communicating Itself to me via a symbol. ’ had stood in the mind, feeling my separate being, but the image and the poem of Jesus had come to me through the heart. Soon, I would Realize my own Being, the Very Nature of Reality Itself— standing Present as the inherently perfect Condition and Spiritually Self-“Bright” Form that is the Heart Itself.

Even now, as a result of my liberation from all my Christian, heart-visions, I understood the mysticism of Christianity and all my latent urges to mystical devotion. All those symbols were Communications (or representations) of the latent Energy and Consciousness that is the Heart Itself. Therefore, the more devotion arose, the more I Enjoyed the Heart Itself as the perfect Domain of contemplation.
In my case, all conditional experiences came and went, until I stood beyond the time of seeking. As I observed those experience – in their passing, the heart was released from images, and, in due course, the Heart Itself ceased to Communicate Itself as if It were outside me. Therefore, the envisioned face of Jesus, like all other visions, eventually ceased to hold the Heart Itself away, an Object to me. Gradually, the Heart Revealed Itself as my own Self-Nature.

When the images were released from the Heart in understanding, I Realized that I am that very Source Which had appeared in symbols.

For more go to ‘The Knee of Listening‘ in Beezone’s Lending Library