Do You Have A Guru?


“It is useful via your point
on how you are using language because it says something
about your disposition perhaps. Sometimes it may say
something about your miscommunication or not fully
considering your words but otherwise it’s a reflection
of your meanings. Your disposition.


“Would you like to tell me something
now that I’m in front of you…yea, yea you can tell me that
after you leave, but is there something you would like to
say now, something you don’t want to say…”


All Communication is a


Sincerity and the

I’ve never in my life had a face to
face conversation or dialogue with any teacher or Guru of
whom I’ve studied with. I don’t even know if any one of two
major teachers, who I’ve studies most of my adult life, even
knew my name or received any communication from

Given that introduction, I am asked
to say something about my relationship to Adi Da

I have never even found a ‘me’ more
less than an ‘other’. I can say that I have studied,
meditated and spend most of my waking and dreaming life
contemplating the Great Mystery of my life and consciousness
and I know of no other being on this earth or in my most
subtle moments of consciousness whom I contemplate

And even that statement is half
true, because it would mean that Adi Da is an object to my
consciousness, an image or a thought.

Well, to be honest, Yes and to be
truthful No. And I’m not playing word games, this is my most
honest answer. I could argue (with myself) both sides of the
answer and I could play out both sides of the answer to
someone else. I could have answered either way.

See the problem for me is it’s not
all that simple or maybe I’m just confused.

In the common ordinary conversation
and understanding, a Guru is a person who another follows as
if he were God or someone close to God, who can then lead
you to God, Truth or Reality.

I have never ‘followed’ anyone in
matters of the spirit but I have been infused and guided by
their influence. I’ve only followed my most deepest
intuition. A feeling so deep I don’t even know who, what or
where it is. I don’t even know if it’s a feeling. I do know
it’s a kind of ‘sensing’ for sure, but it’s not separated
out from ‘being’ or ‘living’ or ‘awareness’. It seems to be
all of these things all at once. It’s the breath,
consciousness and life all rolled up into one. It’ doesn’t
seem to have a ‘mind’ connected to it, yet at the same time
the ‘eyes’ of my mind seem to sense it. If I close my or
open my eyes there isn’t any difference. I don’t have a
‘concept’ or ‘idea’ about it. It just seems to be ‘there’.
Somehow deep but yet ‘obvious’. It is centered in the heart,
but no the physical heart. The Feeling Heart, a feeling
location at the level of the physical heart. It is more AT
the heart then in the heart.

Are you still with me?

I have studied with two major
teachers, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche and Adi Da Samraj. I have
studies their teachings, been in their physical company and
I have lived and taught in their communities. I have never
spoken with either of them. I have never asked either of
them a question. I have seen them interact with others in
person but never had any personal interaction with either of