The Incarnation of Love – Adi Da Samraj





 


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CHAPTER 24

Say the words of Love

SRI DA AVABHASA: I Call you to investigate, observe,
“consider”, and confess all the signs of your early life,
your reaction to your mother and father and all the rest.
Clear all. that up and, if your parents are still alive,
work out forgiveness and the expression of love with them.
By this you will purify yourself and all your future
relations, and you will purify your parents as well.

* * *

DEVOTEE, a man: On one occasion, I brought up the subject
of my son to Sri Gurudev. I said that our relationship was
okay, but somehow it seemed lopsided and unresolved. He
asked me about my son, who is grown now.

We talked a little about it, and then He asked me, “Were
you a good father?”

“I think so, yes.”

“Do you love him?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Do you ever tell him you love him?” “Yes.”

“Does he ever tell you he loves you?” “Yes.”

“Well, then, you have no problem. You tell each other
that you love each other, you embrace, and you say goodbye.
No problem. But you usually have to say it three times – “I
love you, I love you, I love you, my son.”

* * *

Do not just wait until you are on your deathbed to tell
your friend that you love him or her. Invest yourself in the
business of love, now, presently. Purify yourself with
Truth, and thereby purify others. Relieve all beings of the
imposition of the insult of cosmic Nature and un-Happiness
and bad deeds. Be relieved, and relieve all by the force of
Truth.

That is it. That is what I call “assuming the relational
discipline in the Way of the Heart”.

* * *

Part of the reluctance to say to anyone that you love the
person is that you do not want to trivialize your love.
There is a great deal of this reluctance between intimates,
between emotional-sexual intimates, for instance. Women tend
to be more emotionally expressive and more emotionally
expectant than men. Therefore, women tend to complain that
their male intimate does not say the words “I love you”
often enough.

You know that trivia. The drama appears in movies, so you
all know about it. You have probably played it out yourself.
The woman wants the man to say “I love you”, and he does not
say it enough. Part of the male reluctance is an
unwillingness to trivialize love, to say words without
sufficient expression _that the feeling will be noticed or
felt to be enough, therefore always being required to be
blapping out the greeting-card message. Part of the
reluctance is the unwillingness to trivialize love, or the
feeling of embarrassment because you do not want to
trivialize it.

Another element of it, however, is just the refusal to
love-not merely the refusal to say love but the refusal to
do it. Again in manwoman relations, if the man actually did
love more, the woman would be more satisfied.

* * *

DEVOTEE, a man: In June 1992, while on retreat at Sri
Love Anandashram, I had the rare and auspicious opportunity
to embrace Da Avabhasa. During our long and very emotional
embrace, He whispered in my ear.

“And do you love your intimate partner?” He said. “Yes,”
I replied.

“Do you tell her this?”

Do not just wait until you are on your deathbed to tell
your friend that you love him or her. Invest yourself in the
business of love, now, presently. Purify yourself with
Truth, and thereby purify others. Relieve all beings of the
imposition of the insult of cosmic Nature and un-Happiness
and bad deeds. Be relieved, and relieve all by the force of
Truth.

That is it. That is what I call “assuming the relational
discipline in the Way of the Heart”.

Part of the reluctance to say to anyone that you love the
person is that you do not want to trivialize your love.
There is a great deal of this reluctance between intimates,
between emotional-sexual intimates, for instance. Women tend
to be more emotionally expressive and more emotionally
expectant than men. Therefore, women tend to complain that
their male intimate does not say the words “I love you”
often enough.

You know that trivia. The drama appears in movies, so you
all know about it. You have probably played it out yourself.
The woman wants the man to say “I love you”, and he does not
say it enough. Part of the male reluctance is an
unwillingness to trivialize love, to say words without
sufficient expression _that the feeling will be noticed or
felt to be enough, therefore always being required to be
blapping out the greeting-card message. Part of the
reluctance is the unwillingness to trivialize love, or the
feeling of embarrassment because you do not want to
trivialize it.

Another element of it, however, is just the refusal to
love-not merely the refusal to say love but the refusal to
do it. Again in manwoman relations, if the man actually did
love more, the woman would be more satisfied.

* * *

DEVOTEE, a man: In June 1992, while on retreat at Sri
Love Anandashram, I had the rare and auspicious opportunity
to embrace Da Avabhasa. During our long and very emotional
embrace, He whispered in my ear.

“And do you love your intimate partner?” He said. “Yes,”
I replied.

“Do you tell her this?”

Again, I replied, “Yes, Beloved Lord.”

“Tcha,” He said. “You must tell her that you love her
many times every day. This is part of the man’s Yoga in an
intimate relationship. Will you do this?”

“Yes,” I responded from my heart. “I will.”

“Tcha,” He said again. “And tell her that I Love her and
want to see her very soon,” He said.

“I will, Beloved Lord. She will be very pleased. Thank
you.” “Tcha,” He responded again as He continued to Embrace
me in His massive, gentle arms.

* * *

The cure for the great emotional neurosis-the program of
“Narcissus” that I have “Considered” at length with you-is
praise. Not praise of you but praise communicated by you. In
order to praise another, you must transcend your envy and
your self-defense by which you strive to appear superior. In
order to praise anything, you must transcend your own
position. Thus, praise is one of the ordinary disciplines of
a naturally serving life wherein you grant life to others.
Your communication of praise enlivens your friends.

* * *

CHILD: Heart-Master Da, I have a personal discipline not
to be righteous. But I’m still righteous a lot, and I cannot
really find a way to stop it.

SRI DA AVABHASA: What do you mean by “righteous”?

CHILD: Well, I try to be smart, you know. I do things
like telling somebody something, just walking by somebody
and saying something to him, not really meaning it, just
being rude.

SRI DA AVABHASA: Are you angry about something?

CHILD: I am angry when I say it.

SRI DA AVABHASA: What are you angry about?

CHILD: Well, I am just inside myself.

SRI DA AVABHASA: Why do you think you are angry? Do you
feel angry a lot?

CHILD: Not too much, but sometimes I feel real angry.

SRI DA AVABHASA: Is being righteous a way of being
angry?

CHILD: Yes.

SRI DA AVABHASA: So?

CHILD: Do You have a way that You can tell me that I can
stop being righteous?

SRI DA AVABHASA: Yes. If you love. If you will love
people and persist in that feeling, allow yourself to love
people all the time, then you will not be righteous in the
way that you are talking about. It is fine every now and
then to tell somebody where he or she is at you have to be
able to know the difference between behavior in people that
is all right and behavior that is not all right, or that is
negative. But if you love them, then you will know the
difference between the things they do that are good and the
things they do that are not. And you will be able to talk to
them about the things that are not good without being
righteous, without being angry. You will be able to be Happy
with them, because you will know at that moment that you
also love them. Whereas when you are being righteous, you
are not aware of the fact that you love them. You forget
about that for a minute.

You must learn about this loving feeling. Whenever you do
not love, whenever you do not feel, you start getting angry.
And after you have been angry for a long time, you start
getting afraid. You start to feel bad. So you must learn how
to be able to love all the time, how to feel all the time.
You must be able to feel the world.

A lady who was just talking to Me said she gets up in the
morning unhappy about the fact that the world exists. The
mood she is in at that moment is not the mood of someone who
is My devotee. My devotee wakes up and, even though things
may not be going too well, he or she feels Me. My devotee
knows that the Divine Being, Truth, and Reality is all over
this world, all inside the world, inside everyone and
outside everyone. My devotee feels that the world is about
the Divine, that the world is about Love.

But the people one sees on television and people who are
not being Happy do not know that the world is about the
Divine. They do not know that the world is about Love. That
is why they do not love very much. That is why they are
always talking about themselves and about negative
things.

Therefore, if you are angry and righteous, it is just
that you have forgotten for a moment that the world is about
the Divine, and that the world is about Love, and that you
are about Love. There is nothing you can do about being
righteous if you forget to love, if you forget that the
world is about God. You cannot stop being righteous by
trying not to be righteous. You will stop being righteous
when you forget about being righteous, which means you must
remember to love.

You are all the time remembering what you must remember
to be angry and righteous. Instead, you must remember what
you must Remember to be Happy, and that means you must
Remember Me. You must Remember the Mystery in Which you
live. You must remember to love, and you must love, and you
must practice loving people. Do not wait for love to just
happen. You must practice loving people. And you must
communicate love to them. You must s you love them. You must
do things for them that are full of the feeling of love for
them. You see? So, find out what you must Remember to be
Happy, and do that. If you do that, then you will forget to
be angry and righteous.

Sometimes you may have something to say to somebody about
something that he or she is doing that is not very good, but
what you say to that person will not be the same as
righteousness. You will tell this to the person because you
love the person. And when you tell the person, you will even
sound like you love that person. There are even bad people
here and there. You probably have not met any really bad
people lately, not any really bad ones. But even the really
bad ones are alive in the same world. They are with the
Divine just like you. They have some things to learn, but
you cannot teach them without loving them. You cannot teach
anybody anything without being Happy with the person. And
you cannot be Happy with anybody else unless you are Happy.
You cannot always wait for others to do something to make
you Happy. You have to be Happy, and then you make other
people Happy, too.

 


 


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