CHAPTER 28 The Mother-Force and the Father-Force SRI DA AVABHASA: One’s psychological disposition toward
the mother and father in the first three stages of life
tends to be reflected in one’s response to the Spiritual
process. Although most people who are practicing the Way of
the Heart are adults and no longer living with their
parents, something about the psychology of the
child-parent/male-female dynamic is still in place in their
character, in emotional-sexual and other intimate
relationships, and in every aspect of life, including
(therefore) how they relate to the Spiritual process. In My Description of the practice of the Way of the
Heart, I have used the metaphors of the “Mother-Force” and
the “Father-Force”. The Father-Force (or male influence) is
the controlling force, and the Mother-Force (or female
influence) is the nurturing force. The Father-Force is
associated with Divine Consciousness, and with the
“conscious process” and concentration. The Mother-Force is
associated with the Divine Spirit-Current, and with
“conductivity” and the Yogic infusion of the body-mind by
Divine Love-Bliss. In right practice of the Way of the
Heart, both of these “Forces” (and dimensions of practice)
are fully, rightly, cooperatively, and effectively embraced
and managed. * * * After the individual’s early stages of childhood, or at
least after the second stage of life, the mother and father
should not have to act in a parent-like fashion anymore.
Even so, these two forces continue as the dynamic of the
human situation that exists throughout your life, moving
from mommy and daddy to the great forces of existence. You
must grow, through your participation in that dynamic. Eventually, you must mature sufficiently to be able to
respond to My “Fatherly” side, My Demand, as well as to My
Love. You must respond to both of these apparent Qualities.
Your life must be participation in the dynamic of the One
Reality, or That Which Is Great. You must respond not only
to My Love but also to My Demand for your
self-transcendence. * * * Some of you had stronger parents than others – you felt
nurtured by the mother and not merely aggressively
challenged by the father but drawn out by the father into
creative participation in life. Some people have had better
experience than others in the universe of meanings in
childhood, and they tend to be more effective adults – not
Enlightened, but more effective and happy in the ordinary
sense. The mother-force is nurturing, supportive, and it
connects you to everything, makes you feel loved, makes you
feel familiar, and evokes the loving, radiant response in
you. * * * The mother means nurturing. She is a supportive force. At
any rate, such is the role that the mother is expected to
perform, even by the infant and the child. The father is a
different force, however. The father means
challenge–something quite the opposite of the mother. * * * The mother is primary. One who is not nurtured inevitably
feels too much challenged. Such a person’s unhappiness is
primary evidence of the lack of sustenance, the
disconnection from the Divine Source. And it is also an
expression of confrontation with challenge. Thus, the
description of someone’s failure to be nurtured also applies
to the person’s being too much challenged. Both
circumstances produce the tendency to depression and to
feeling overwhelmed. The mother is primary, and the father is secondary. If
you are well sustained, then you can deal with challenge,
with the forces of life that demand self-transcendence and
sacrifice. In other words, you are only oversensitive to the
father-force if you are already feeling the absence of the
mother-force. Whether you are male or female, you are sustained by the
mother and challenged by the father. If sustenance is
lacking, you tend not to feel connected to That Which
Sustains, and you tend not to feel positive about existence.
Then the father-force, the challenge of life, is simply
overwhelming, and you become a self-protective, anxious
personality. If only the mother-force existed, you would die. The
challenge must also exist. You must break away from the
mother-but only from the stifling, protective force, not
from the sustaining power. Then you must also find the
father. Examine the tradition of the American Indians. What is
the basis of the culture whereby they train one another? It
is a culture of testing. It is also a culture of compassion
and love, but it is not a culture that affirms the principle
of weakness. It demands that people grow. It equips people
to grow, to be strong, to endure the limitations of
existence, and to transcend those limitations. Such a traditional culture stands in profound contrast to
much of the traditional upbringing of the rest of humanity,
who tend to resent demands and want to live like children,
just being given the things of life that are satisfying.
What has tended to disappear from the world is the attitude
of manliness (male or female), or the willingness and the
capability to live life as an ordeal that requires you to
understand and transcend yourself. That requirement is basic to everything that I have
“Considered” with you.
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