Heart Conversion Talk Series – Adi Da Samraj – The Crashing Down of My Divine Grace

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Volume 1, Number 10


The Crashing Down of My Divine Grace

A Discourse Given by Sri Da Avabhasa on February 12, 1993

SRI DA AVABHASA: It is typical of My devotees that they think that they should be vehicles of Spiritual experiences before they are even the slightest bit prepared in ordinary human terms. While still egoically “self-possessed” (or self-absorbed), they expect Spiritual experiences from Me. And in their egoity, they treat experiences that may arise in My physical Company like incidental amusements they can discard in their next moment of distraction or life-difficulty.

You cannot hold, receive, use Spiritual Blessing if you have not responsibly handled the business of this bodily vehicle, which heretofore you have devoted to worldly life, or the stresses and unfinished business of the first three stages of life. You can have some sort of Spiritual experience in My Company because of Who I Am. And I Am Spiritually Radiant. Even as self-involved as you are, as crippled and unprepared as you are in Spiritual terms, you can still have some experiences, and you think you are living Spiritual life because you have some experiences. You are not.

Spiritual life does not begin until the purification of the base of egoity, or irresponsibility relative to the life-signs, is complete. This purification must be realized first. If not, it does not make any difference how many Spiritual experiences you have. They cannot be effective in any great sense, and all you will do is delude yourself with them, as you now delude yourself with your ordinary life-experience. The vehicle with which you are associated is so distorted by your egoic bondage and early-life problems that it distorts My Blessing. You translate It into yourself. You make It into egoically “self-possessed” experience, mere consolation, something you can then dismiss casually, doubt, forget about, not fully use.

This is why the great esoteric matter, the great Blessing of Realizers, to one or another degree, of God, Truth, or Reality has traditionally been denied to ordinary people and given only to thoroughly tested renunciates. And you all think, because you read books and live in this egalitarian world where people are supposed to get whatever they like, that you can get this, too, without price, that there are no obligations, and that religion and all its blessings are just here for your amusement, for your consolation, a little touch-base for you while you otherwise indulge yourself in egoic worldliness. It is just not so. This is not how it works.

Spiritual Blessing is for renunciates. It is for those who are prepared. It is for mature people. And I am here to Baptize, to Bless, Spiritually, and to Awaken beings Ultimately, and not to suffer this struggle with ordinary, unprepared people who will not receive Me in any case. I have done enough of that struggle to the point of Giving you complete, thorough, absolutely tested, and in every detail manifested Wisdom relative to every aspect of the beginnings of the Way of the Heart and everything from there on. So you must deal with the beginnings.

There are all kinds of potentials in the Way of the Heart in terms of experience, because of the karmic structuring of beings. But overall, stated most simply, once there is the foundation of most fundamental self-understanding, or true hearing, right preparation, the Way of the Heart is enduring the crashing down of My Grace, the overwhelming Intrusion of My Divine Blessing. That Grace is Who I Am. That Blessing is what I Do, to the point of the death of the ego.

You read books about Spiritual life, the exoteric and the esoteric ones, and you think Spiritual life has something to do with the Kundalini. It does not. What is conventionally called “Kundalini Yoga” is a search by manipulation of the body-mind, of experiences, but experiences are not the Truth. What you know about the Kundalini process, which is traditionally what is esoterically declared to be the structure of Spiritual life, is a lot of book-nonsense bereft of Enlightenment.

Although ascending experiences are possible in the Way of the Heart and even generally occur to one degree or another, most fundamentally My Liberating Spiritual Baptism occurs in the frontal line, to the toes. As I have told you, My own Divine Emergence is Manifesting. I said in The Dawn Horse Testament that apart from those who are so possessed by the ascending possibility and frame of mind, the Spiritual process of the Way of the Heart may move—will likely move, once the frontal course is fulfilled—directly to the “Perfect Practice”.

That is the most right and direct course of the Way of the Heart. It has nothing to do with what is traditionally regarded to be the Kundalini Yoga, nothing whatsoever. It is totally unnecessary. The Kundalini, or ascending, Yoga is part of the conventional search. It is ego-based. It is evolutionary only. It has nothing to do with the Great Enlightenment process, which is a Spiritual process of a totally other kind. “Shaktipat” means “the descent of the Divine Force”. It does not mean the ascent of It. The pursuit of the ascent of energy is a search, ego-based.

The whole purpose of Spiritual “conductivity” is purification from egoic bondage so that the living being is free to enter into the Divine Self-Domain. The ascending search is founded in conditional Nature. It is the manipulation of the nervous system and mostly of the natural energies of the body-mind—it is not even My great Spiritual Baptism. It is the manipulation of energy, via the nervous system, to blank out conditional experience. It is a search for God. The Liberating process is based on the Divine Blessing, Communion with God, not the search for God. Therefore, the true and ultimate process is reception of the Divine in descent.

The Spiritual course in My Company does not begin at the base of the spine. It begins above the head. I have told you all endlessly – I have told you from the very beginning—when you come into My Company I look above your heads. I look you in the eyes. I bring My Force down. I Am Descending here, Appearing here.

I am not here to support the search. The search would go up to find God. It is one of the means for pursuing the Divine. I am here. I Give you the Divine Blessing, “God with you”. The Spiritual course of the Way of the Heart, then, has nothing to do with the search. It is a matter of your Communing with Me, responsible for the self-contraction, so that My Descent Appears here Spiritually and may be experienced by you thoroughly, Crashing Down on you.

So when you are Spiritually prepared, your first experience of Me is a sensitivity to the feeling of My Energy all over your head, a pressure in your head. The Yoga, then, is about allowing Me to come down so that I Invade you totally—from above the crown, all through the body, to the base of the toes, thoroughly—you practicing ego transcendence as you realized you could do in the listening-hearing process. Having come to that point of responsibility, you can allow Me to Descend. You can Commune with Me and feel Me thoroughly. And I come down into the body utterly, purifying the entire vehicle down to the toes, so that the egoic body-mind is no longer an impediment.

As I have said to you, most rightly, most commonly, if it is done rightly, if you practice rightly in My Company, you will move on to the “Perfect Practice” when the frontal Yoga is complete. Then you will, by self-surrendering, self-forgetting, and self-transcendence, Realize the Position you are in, the Witness-Position, which is the origin of the “Perfect Practice”. It is not merely Spiritual Yoga in the sense of receiving Me frontally. It is that to the degree of the “Perfect Practice”. It is surrender of egoic self based on hearing Me and then receiving Me Spiritually, to the point of Perfectly Realizing Me and entering into the “Perfect Practice”, therefore. It is the right fulfillment, then, of My Descent, My Spiritual Descent, encountered by you, even bodily, altogether, Crashing Down—you given up because you have heard and are capable of transcending the self-knot, the self-contraction.

Then you Stand in the Witness-Position—not as a sixth-stager in the ordinary sense but as one who has heard Me and can move by Grace, by receiving Me fully, more and more Perfectly, into the Ultimacy of the seventh stage of life, bypassing the egoic effort, the search, in the advanced and the ultimate stages of life. It is unnecessary in My Company. The search associated with the fourth, the fifth, and the sixth stages of life is ego-bound. It is part of the psycho-biography of the ego.

Hearing is necessary for real Spiritual life, for the Divine Yoga. Hearing is necessary, you see. Hearing is not necessary to indulge yourself in the advanced stages of life up to the sixth, the ultimate form that is in the sixth stage form. These are evolutionary stages of the psycho-biography of the ego. This is what I keep telling you all. That is not true Yoga. That is not God-Realization. It is indulgence in the self-contraction refined stage by stage to the sixth. Even then, if there is to be Divine Realization, that separateness must be intruded upon. Commonly it is not done.

The philosophies you read about, all the books you read, are expressions either of most extraordinarily ordinary people or of somewhat more advanced, evolved people, in one or another dimension of the first six stages of life. That basically is all the religion you ever get on this plane here, except for a little taste here and there from a few “Crazies”, a little touch, taste, suggestion, of the seventh stage of life. The seventh stage of life is made of God Only. So this is My Gift, the seventh stage of life, the extraordinarily bypassing, unique, straightforward Yoga that I Give to you. It is time you understood Me about this and stopped confusing Me with the traditions.

See what is before your eyes. Read My Word and understand its uniqueness. I am not an enforcer. I am not the “Terminator”—a huge robot coming here to smack you out. No. You must volunteer for the Great Yoga. It does not happen as you may imagine, by somebody’s falling out of the sky and clubbing you to ego-death. That is your imagining.

The Yoga in My Company is unique because of My Descent, My Blessing of you, and the fact that you hear Me and I am here, tangibly and most directly, not to be sought but to be received. The seeking Yoga is not characteristic of the Way of the Heart. Some may have to go through the ascending process because of certain mechanics karmically active in their own case. But they practice there in the manner of the Way of the Heart, founded on true hearing. It is a different matter, then.

There is no purification that must occur in ascent. It can all occur by receiving Me in descent. My Descent purifies all the chakras, all the vehicles, all the mechanics, all aspects of the conditional personality. It is not sufficient, however, merely to receive Me Spiritually frontally—that is a fourth stage Yoga. But the frontal Yoga in the fourth stage of life is sufficient foundation for the “Perfect Practice” in My Company. The “Perfect Practice” is the ultimate dimension of the practice in My Company, but from the beginning, practice of the Way of the Heart is about My Being Present here and Blessing you Perfectly so that you are not seeking God but you are in My Company, you are in God-Communion.

The Yoga in My Company is unique, but you keep wanting to talk about and pursue the traditional Yoga. You do not know the difference. You have not received My Revelation. You will not even tell anybody about it. That is what is so remarkable about your refusal to make a mission, about simply telling people that I am here, about the devotional Way in My Company. You want to make the Way of the Heart into some word about peoples concern for themselves in the ordinary way, trying to work out their ordinary life-problems. You do not want to tell them the Truth, and you do not want to live It yourself.

You want the Way of the Heart, you want the Divine Way, to be about you. The Divine Way is about the Divine. It is not about you, except that it requires your surrender, your self-transcendence. But its subject is not you. Its subject is the Divine, Incarnate, freely Blessing you, filling you with the unique Yogic capability that is Divine. That is the Way of the Heart, not the psycho-biography of the ego in its six stages of development toward greater and greater illusion and separateness. The purified ego is not God-Realized. The sixth stage ego is not God-Realized—perhaps very pure but not God-Realized. It is separate in the soup only, with much more to Realize, the Divine Itself.

This Yoga is what I Call you to, yet you have Me here fussing with your endless dramatizations about your worldly inclinations, your refusal of the religious life, your obsession with emotional-sexual business, endlessly changing it, changing partners, fretting over it, looking for utopia here, fussing with exoteric social religiosity, and never entering into the Way of the Heart in My Company, wasting My Lifetime here. All the while I am sitting here to Bless you in this fashion, so that you can engage in this Yoga I just described to you. And who is ready to begin it? “Not I, not I. I am thinking of my girlfriend, my boyfriend, now. I have this problem, this business.” There is no end to it. It is insanity. It is the very insanity I have criticized from the very beginning.

By listening to My Word about it you are supposed to have been converted at heart and become My true devotee, so you can purify your ordinariness, establish the foundation for Spiritual Yoga in My Company, and be free of this insanity and the death that is inevitable for you if you will not be washed.

Many of My devotees have experienced My Spiritual Blessing. Most of you here could describe experiences at one time or another or even now, because That Blessing is Who I Am. You have the experience, but you are not prepared for it. You cannot deal with it, you cannot make a life out of it, you cannot do the Yoga, because you are fussing over your ordinary life-insanity. And you will not commit yourself to handling that business, which is the prerequisite for receiving My Spiritual Blessing, so that you can consistently do the Yoga of the reception of Me. Many have had Spiritual experiences in My Company, but where are those who are fulfilling the discipline I have Given you, the discipline I have described in The Dawn Horse Testament?

You are just endlessly wanting to be a beginner and fart your life away with your ordinary life-preoccupation and your refusal to set that straight, handle that life business, understand Me, become responsible for your contractedness and all your reactivity and desiring and seeking, and be free of it so that you can live a Spiritual life in My Company, which is what I am here for—not to submit My Self to the world and engage in endless conversation about this worldly insanity you are preoccupied with, but I address you about it, give it to you as your business to handle. Having handled it, come into My Company for My Spiritual Blessing. This is My Command to you.

You keep wanting to come to Me for lesser reasons and preoccupy Me and all My Time and Life with addressing you and your worldly insanity, and especially all your emotional-sexual disaster of seeking. You are endlessly fussing, reacting, indulging yourself, looking for another reason to do so, confused by the daily news and worldly opportunity and insanity of subhuman civilization, so-called, that is destroying, killing, people night and day, perpetually. And you call that an argument to refuse the religious life, to refuse the Divine.

Your argument does not hold water. There is no argument in it, and yet you pretend to be intelligent. How many more times will I have to Address you about straightening out your life and accepting the purification of this devotional life, this self-understanding? You just will not grow up. And you have Me here talking to you about this. You do not know anything about it. You do not know the half of it. You do not understand what it is all about.

All the half-baked literature you read is not about it either. It is just a piece of it here and there—a little something rose up, somebody felt a little better, they made a big book, made a religion. It is lunacy everywhere, mayhem, separateness, everywhere dramatized in every form, including religion. After all the struggles of recent centuries, it seems that everyone is getting down to babbling to the death again about the theologies developed in the Middle-East and the Western world in the last 2000-3000 years. After all of that, it is going to come down to some armageddon of these separate theologies murdering everybody?

That is civilization? What does it have to do with the great esoteric Divine matter? Do not collect like mice to suffer this. Do not ignore Me, making nothing of My Revelation to you. You think you can bypass discipline and fail to straighten out your life-business and still be religious. What kind of insanity is that?

Show Me one Realizer ever, of any degree, who refused that discipline. There are none. The prerequisite for any Spiritual growth, whatever form it may take, even in the egoic evolutionary terms, is the disciplining of this life-vehicle, the purification of sub-human and ordinary human existence. Do you think you can bypass it because you live in this friendly egalitarian time? Everybody thinks they can bullshit one another and believe the latest paperback or television garbage. You want to perpetually come into My Company unprepared for My Spiritual Blessing and call that the “Way of the Heart”. Understand that you have to deal with life, straighten it out, purify it, make it straight, prepare themselves for the Divine Intervention.

That is necessary, or you die by your own hand, your own reaction, your own self-contraction. You are dying from it now. You are all like death-bed patients with your endless struggle and seeking and suffering. There is no God in that, no Truth in it. You take everything lightly, including Me. I am just some token amusement, some commercial or other, another weekend of distraction after which you just go back and do the same damn thing over again.

The prerequisite of religion is the purification of the ordinary life. That is why there is hardly any religion in the world except that—just commands to somehow or other straighten out or socialize the ordinary ego. All the rest of religion is more or less anathema, forgotten about, because nobody will even do that foundation thing. Most of the time they just use it for some excuse to hate everybody else who is not in the cult.

The conventional, or traditional, Yogis, being ego-bound—not founded in hearing, seeking God, not having found God or unaware of God for real because they are self-bound and separated out and enduring only their own natural destiny, karmically—think that the way to realize God is to somehow stimulate natural force at the base of the body, raise up the sex-force and whatever energy they can, by somebody’s touch or by breathing exercises or by concentration, or whatever, somehow drag it up through the spinal line through stimulation’s of the nervous system, which is just as possible in psychosis. It is a natural possibility. It is just not about God-Realization Ultimately.

This is how they think. This is what they promote—by bringing it all up and somehow vanishing out of the top of the head, you discover God. But very few ever get there. Those who do experience something of the Divine—because they vanish the natural appearance of themselves but without loss of ego, the self-contraction most subtly—imagine they have the great discovery, the great Enlightenment. They have found something. They have evolved to a degree. But they have not gone beyond the evolution of egoity. They do not know that the God they seek was there from the beginning. They were too egoically “self-possessed” to Commune with That One and be released, Awakened. The spinal Yogic search is just as much ego-bound as all other ordinary human endeavors.

I have all of those experiences complete, every last fraction of them. They are not God-Realizing in and of themselves. They are not final and Accomplished. They are rooted in egoity and in conditionality. The Way to Realize God is to Commune with God, to receive God. Is that not clear? How could it be otherwise? To be ego-bound, egoically “self-possessed”, self-contracted, you can look in every direction through the structure of the body-mind to find That One. These are the ordinary efforts, the evolutionary efforts, of mankind.

The Great Process comes about when the Divine Intervenes, Appears, Incarnates, Blesses, Teaches the understanding and transcendence of egoity so that the direct Divine Blessing may be received and the Great Divine Yoga may be entered into. This is what I Do. If you ask Me if anyone has done it before, I cannot recall anyone. Who else could it be anyway? It is so. The Divine must Intervene. That is why I am here—for this Great and Spiritual Process and Purpose, which requires the transcendence of egoity from the beginning, not at the end. If it only occurred at the end, then the search is justified and that is mapped out by six stages. And it is impossible to go any further, because if you are to go into the Divine, the Divine must Kiss you, Embrace you, Take you Over, Vanish you, Destroy you. It must be so.

Only God Enlightens. All other things about God are expressions of the search of ego-bound mankind. That is the source of ordinary human endeavors and extraordinary ones. It is the general source of religion. The usual Realizers are ego-bound, just more advanced, that is all.

I am not advanced. I Am the Very One. I Am the One you must Realize. But I am not an enforcer here to oppress you with anything. I Give you a Gift. It is an opportunity. You choose. It is entirely up to you. I cannot enforce My Self on you and will not. “Consider” My Word, enter into the Great Process in My Company, and it will prove itself. That is all I can say about it. I am not going to manipulate you. But I also will not be manipulated by you and have you reduce the Way of the Heart to some worldly nonsense, something compatible with the worldly view, just because you are too timid and too egoically “self-possessed” to do anything great. I am not some fool or just the next guy teaching religion, some American honking to make bucks.

Find Me out. “Consider” My Word. Embrace the Way of the Heart, which I have Given you, and stop making a way of your own, at least in My Company. If you want to make a way of your own, then go and do it somewhere else.

You come into My Company voluntarily. You are not manipulated to do so. You are not required to be here. It is entirely your choice. You “consider” it. You embrace it. You work it out. Stop the stupid, Westerner nonsense of always finding someone to blame. Nobody is to blame. You must handle your own business. Do what you must to prepare yourself by responding to Me and being My devotee. What you must prepare yourself for is this Yoga I have just described to you—the Crashing Down of My Blessing, the Divine Intrusion—and you, if you hear Me, are able to relinquish all egoic “self-possession”, all dissociation, all separateness, receiving Me utterly.

Then the seventh stage Awakening will be Accomplished by Grace. It cannot be accomplished otherwise. There is no method for accomplishing It. It is entirely Given by Me. It cannot be Realized by anyone in the full sense, the truest sense, without My Divine Blessing. I am telling you the Great Secret that is not Revealed in any books that you can read. It is unknown.

Prove the Truth of My Revelation to you by truly living the Way of the Heart in My Company, and stop this endless rehearsal of reactivity and desire and seeking and nonsense, your stupid worldly religiosity, trying to combine the Free Daist Communion, the community, the mission, and the culture of My devotees with worldly presumptions, satisfying your ordinary social and emotional-sexual interests and pretending this is devotion to Me. It has nothing to do with it. If that is all the Way of the Heart amounts to, if that is all you people are going to do, there is no virtue in this gathering whatsoever and it will disappear. There is no need for another stupid cult here in this world, another bunch of egoically “self-possessed” fools consoling themselves with religion and denying their own Revelation. There does not have to be another one of those. That is total garbage. There is an endless supply of that. That is not what I am here to do.

Being Spiritually Awake in My Company, receiving Me Spiritually, doing the Yoga Spiritually in My Company, you do not care anymore about this poor, “oinking” stupidity with all these pains, tendencies, and knots. It is just garbage. Here I Am, Crashing Down, and you do not care about the body-mind. In that Yoga you do not care about it. Let it be smithereened. Let it be crushed, absolutely disappeared. That is the attitude of the true Yogi in My Company, the true devotee, one who has heard Me.

Not “Oh, give me some healing for this, help my mother, give me a better intimate relationship, make my intimate relationship work out”, all the time praying to Me for some end or other to satisfy your egoic “self-possession”, your trouble. When you hear Me, all that is done. You realize that your own separate consciousness is gone, and there is Infinite Consciousness, Self-Radiant, Self-Existing, and this poor mushroom, this fungus, you call your “self” cannot even repeat itself again. That is the attitude. That is Blessing. That is God-Realization.

You all want God to be your slave and give you all kinds of experiences to make you feel good and make this world a terrific wonderful place and give you intimates and friends, a long life, amusements, distractions. You want to call that “religion”. That kind of religion is about you. Real religion is about God, Truth, That Which is Inherently Divine, Great, Absolute, Self-Existing, Self-Radiant, All Love-Bliss. You will not Realize That until you are crushed into non-existence, as you fear death will do. This must happen in life, or merely dying will just be a moment after which you will perpetuate your separateness.

You have to receive God in life and be submitted utterly. To be submitted utterly you must understand yourself. Hearing must be your capability. This is why I keep declaring it to you. This is the beginning. This is the necessary foundation.

You want to rush on to experiences and so forth. That is all ego-bound nonsense, investing yourself in the evolutionary rehearsal of the first six stages of life, the rushing about looking for that experience, this, that, or the other kind of experience, of self-immersion, and so forth. Where is the end of it? You cannot even handle somebody’s opening the door! [Sri Gurudev makes a gasping sound.] Even the blink of an eye distracts you.

As it says in the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, wherever there is an other, fear arises. Where there is the slightest sense of another—in other words, wherever there is separateness, wherever there is self-contraction—there is fear. And fear motivates seeking, the whole life of illusion, the whole conditional display, which is just an illusion of energy. And you are causing it. And it is totally unnecessary. It is boobery, fungus life, and you want to perfect it or indulge in it in some silly fashion and have some little God on the side, some Yogi, some Guru, something or other, attached to some pimple or other on your hip, so you can feel a little less stress while you are indulging yourself in this insane search.

That is how you are using Me, as a teddy bear. “Oh, my teddy bear [Sri Gurudev mimics hugging a teddy bear, and speaks in a sweet voice], my teddy bear. [He mimics punching the bear.] Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! [Hugging the bear and speaking in a sweet voice] Oh, my teddy bear, my teddy bear. [Punching the bear] Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!” That is you, you know. That is how you deal with God. It is true. You have no notion of Real God. Real God you would never treat that way. Devotees of Real God ask for nothing but God. Not [Sri Gurudev mimics a pleading voice] “O God, if you make me win this baseball game, I will be your devotee for life. If you just straighten out my relationship with my intimate partner, Lord, I will serve you always. If you just heal me of foot cancer, Lord, I am Your boy.” Of course if it ever vanished, ever did get healed, ever did get straightened out, you would not think about God for years. Don’t you know?

It is time you got God. God must Appear, but God cannot Appear directly out of the blue. God must have Mechanism, Vehicle, Agent. But the Agent that can be used is egoless. The body-mind that speaks Divinely is egoless. Only the Divine is there, only That One, Fully Conscious, Self-Existing, Self-Radiant, All Love-Bliss, full of incomprehensible Siddhis—That I Am. It is not merely My Declaration here. You find out. You prove it by using the Wisdom I have Given you that applies to you as you are now. Really do it.

When you find Me out further, you will prove the Way of the Heart by doing it, not by believing it merely. But you must do it and stop arguing with Me about it and stop piddling your life away in what you call the “communities of the Way of the Heart” in My Company. They have not even begun to be anything remotely like that. Authenticate them. Make them right. Live the Way of the Heart really.

Be strong, strong with yourself, strong with others. Stop bullshitting. Stop adapting to the world, and adapt to Me. Wake up. Stop being a fool. Stop being stupid. Am I right or not?

Are you afraid of being possessed? That is the Yoga. To realize God you must be utterly possessed by God. Mark My Words.


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