David Brainerd

“One morning, while I was walking in a solitary place, as usual, I at once saw that all my contrivances and projects to effect or procure deliverance and salvation for myself, were utterly in vain; was brought quite to a stand, as finding myself totally lost. I saw that it was forever impossible for me to do any thing towards helping or delivering myself; that I had made all the pleas ever could have made to all eternity; and that all my pleas were vain.

I at once saw that had been heaping up my devotions before God, fasting, praying, and pretending, and indeed really thinking sometimes, that I was aiming at the glory of God; whereas I never once truly intended it, but only my own happiness. I saw that as I had never done any thing for God, I had no claim on anything from him, but perdition, on account of my hypocrisy and mockery. 

Read more:

 

Conversion – David Brainerd