To Be a Practioner – A Beezone essay based on three talks by Adi Da Samraj

Beezone essay
edited and adapted from three talks by Adi Da Samraj

Romance and Delusion

true Spiritual process is not a kind process with which and
to whom you can indulge in a romance! The Gopis were not
romantically involved with Krishna. You cannot be casually
asking for salvation or even playfully and amusedly involved
with the Divine or with Truth. You first must overcome
yourself. Once you overcome yourself and truly understand
your relationship with the True Romance of the Divine or
Truth you can also appear playful, but it is most profound,
it is a creative affair.

You can feel My Presence and still
be self-possessed, but that is not practice, that’s just
energy without self-understanding. You may have some sense
of My Influence but you must understand your releationship
to Me in total. To rightly use my Presence is to enter into
my Condition, the Condition of the Spirit-Force, not merely
to associate with It as a pleasurable Other, someone fun to
be with, an Energy that makes you feel better in yourself
the way an infant feels better when it sucks the tit and
feels a little full. An infant sucking the tit is not
Enlightened, and likewise a devotee just breathing the
excess and superior Energy of the Spiritual Master is not
Enlightened, not practicing, not being a practitioner. You
must give the gift, which is sacrifice of self, before you
can use the Prasad. You can feel It, because It is there,
but you cannot use It rightly. You are not truly using It
rightly unless you give your own gift, which is
self-surrender, self-transcendence.


“Hundreds and
hundreds of people have spent time in my Company and know
very well there is a Blessing there, a Force that came upon
them, but they did not become


In order to surrender and transcend
yourself you must first understand yourself. You must know
what you are all about. And what you are all about is this
contraction. You must appreciate it, be humbled by it, and
Stand Free of it. Only then can you can use this Blessing,
this Baptism, but not otherwise. Even though you can say
that It exists, even though you can acknowledge this
Blessing, this Baptism, you may still not be a practitioner.
Hundreds and hundreds of people have spent time in my
Company and know very well there is a Blessing there, a
Force that came upon them, but they did not become
practitioners. They were self-possessed when they were there
and they were self-possessed when they left. They felt the
Divine Power, they know It exists, but It does not make a
difference to them, not in the true sense. For them it is
just some unusual, big thing among a number of other unusual
and interesting things in life. Some even became thieves and
are deluding themselves into believing they were enightened
by this Force, this Blessing Baptism.

You must relate rightly to this
Blessing Force and understand yourself in the midst of it.
Otherwise you engage in a romance with me or delude yourself
in some form or fashion. This is not receiving gift, this is
romance and delusion. It is to grab the fruit out of the
basket without offering anything first. It is to take heaven
by storm. It is an intrusion, a violation, and
inappropriate, and it will cause you to experience
difficulty ultimately because if you come into association
with superior Energy and remain self-indulgent or
self-possessed, that very Energy will begin to disturb you,
disorient you, cause you to react, individuate yourself, and
aberrate yourself.

The only way rightly to relate to
the tangible Blessing of the Adept is to hear the Masters
Teaching, understand yourself, bring the gift of attention,
self-surrender, self-transcendence. Then you can receive the
Blessing. You can know the Blessing experientially without
giving your own gift, but you cannot receive It, accept It,
and use It without first submitting yourself. You cannot
suck the ear of the Infinite and get away with


“People continue
to think that all this is leading somewhere in some grand
evolutionary design”


You can play all sorts of games. You
can get devotional, romantic, righteous and delusional but
unless you truly understand yourself, this contraction, this
fundamental knot you’re avoiding and truly feel the heat of
your disturbance then you only have your search and your
avoidance. You end up running scared.

People continue to think that all
this is leading somewhere in some grand evolutionary design
and they continue to thrive on the search. But the more
sensitive you become, the more you become aware of this
structure of limitation. The more sensitive you become the
more you realize that is all that is felt, truly, from
moment to moment. It’s only when consciousness returns to
this zero of the one thing known from moment to moment in
the ordinary sense that this insight begins to break the
bondage. It’s only when you’ve become so limited, when you
have no options truly that you begin to understand what’s
going on.

When you realize that you truly are
confined and that there is this one quality of knowledge,
experience and existence from moment to moment then are you
are beginning to understand. When you realize you can’t play
your games any more. You can’t depend any longer on your
games because you know all games are essentially based on
the same impulse, the same structure. You realize ultimately
the same vision, the same cognition of the search. You
realize you are truly locked in to this one form of
existence, which is ordinary suffering, the search. It’s in
that entrapment, that isolation of real re-cognition, that
the whole process begins to be undone.

That’s why I continue to stress that
there is a crisis in consciousness involved in spiritual
life, because you must come to this zero point in which you
see the one thing you are always doing, the one state lived,
in which you see the search as your very condition. It’s
only when you’ve returned to this condition of suffering
without recourse, it’s only when you have fallen into your
own limitation, that True Insight and Understanding can
arise as I have described it. So there must be a crisis.
There’s a purifying dis-ease involved in spiritual life.
There is a crisis. It must be a perfect crisis in
consciousness in which this one form of ordinary knowledge
is seen perfectly and known to be your condition from moment
to moment. Knowing that you have no way out of this in the
ordinary way.

And that fundamental understanding
should your impulse, your discipline, your intelligence,
your capacity to be human, manly, male or female. That
crisis is your endurance, your use of this great heat of
self-frustration. The heat of self-frustration is the energy
of meditation. It is the seat of meditation. It is the

Cut it! It burns! It burns to cut
it. And that burning is the glory you register in meditation
and its depth. It purifies. It releases contraction. It
releases limitation. It Outshines it. It burns it off. You
want to make use of this person, make use of my Company?
Then meditate in my Company. Come to me in the right
disposition. Come to me disciplined. Come to me with
understanding. Receive my Transmission. Move, grow, Awaken.
That is what I am here for.


essay edited and adapted from three talks by Adi Da