The Truth of the Matter
You must be willing to vanish completely, to be completely obliterated. You will become capable of that sacrifice only by degrees, because your fear is profound. The frigidity of feeling-attention is most profound in you, because of your experience, your adaptation. Therefore, the process of God-Realization is a matter of time and practice. It need not be infinite time, as it is for the ego. The ego will also return to absolute dissolution in God, but only when the whole cosmos dissolves!
The devotee who enjoys the intuition that is already the dissolution of self-possession may enter into that Realization long, long, long before the grinding halt of the universes. And you know how long it is between now and the grinding halt of the universes.
There are billions of years even until the end of the earth. There are countless years, aeons of time beyond conception, until the dissolution of everything manifest. And the ego will dissolve only at that point.
In the meantime, unless we realize God, we will have to go through the revolutions of experience, through arbitrary intention, arbitrary stimulation and attachment, through all the torments of dreaming existence in every plane, aeons upon aeons upon aeons of times, because there is not a fixed amount of time from now until then. And we must take into account all the time that the ego may manufacture in dreams. So time is ultimately without end.
Because of infinite time, all your experience is two-sided. There is fulfillment and there is aggravation at the same time, in the midst of every possible event, high and low.
When you become sensitive to that dilemma, then you become capable of sympathy with the Teaching of Truth and with the revelation of the Spiritual Master, who is beyond consolations. He is zero, like death, Siva to the ego. But when the devotee is aligned to the Spiritual Master, when the Spiritual Master is worshipped by the devotee, then that zero becomes absolute Blissfulness.
But until the individual is a devotee, he flees from the Spiritual Master; he is always tussling. When the point of submission comes, then he is full of gratitude, happiness, blissfulness, ecstasy. He is able to drink with the Spiritual Master and also to sit with him in formal, silent, meditative Communion with the Infinite Reality. He is able to be happy in the present, not to acquire happiness through any mechanism of experience, but to be happy, to be totally without self-possession, without holding on to a single experience. When you hold on to nothing and therefore have no experience, then you realize the sublimity of your Condition, which is not within.
God-Realization is not a matter of fixing within, turning within, holding within, holding to anything. It is a matter of absolute dissolution.
The Way That I Teach – Adi Da Samraj